Three kinds of attraction and why it’s important to know the difference
Aesthetic attraction: “I want to look at you.” You think someone is beautiful, very pleasing to the eye, but you feel no desire to touch them.
Sensual attraction: “I want to cuddle you.” You feel a great deal of affection towards someone and you want to hug them, hold them, perhaps kiss them, but with your hands never straying below the belt.
Sexual attraction: “I want to fuck you.” You want to do things of an explicitly sexual nature with someone.
Why is this distinction important? Because I didn’t realize I was demisexual until the age of 27 because all my life I thought that aesthetic + sensual attraction was the same thing as sexual attraction. I always thought that finding someone beautiful and wanting to touch or kiss them was sexual attraction, but realizing that it’s not, that sexual attraction means actually desiring sexual acts with a person, has changed my life and explained so many things. When I was figuring this out, a number of other people commented that they felt the exact same as me, so I think this is some pretty important stuff to spread around.
When you’re more fond of people
who like you, or you suddenly
become attracted to a person who is
interested in you, you’re experiencing
a psychological phenomenon known
as ‘reciprocal liking,’ which is a
significant factor in sexual attraction
and the forming of friendships. Source
Meet the Purple-Red Scale of Attraction, an alternative to the Kinsey scale that not only measures degrees of who you’re attracted to, but the type of attraction you experience.
It was created by Langdon Parks, a heterosexual asexual man who recently posted the new system on Reddit. So while the traditional Kinsey scale measures you on a 0-6 scale for complete heterosexuality to complete homosexuality, the Purple-Red scale also measures you on an A-F spectrum, for aromantic asexuality through hypersexuality.
It’s imperfect, too, not accounting for nuances like attraction to more than two genders or different kinds of attraction to different genders. But ace and demisexual inclusivity are good things. Well done.(via Mic)
Smell Dating is a service that matches
you with people based on their B.O. to
prevent prejudices from getting in the
way of your ancient instincts of
attraction. Participants wear the same
shirt, without deodorant, for 3 days,
mail it in, and then receive shirt
samples from others. When 2 people
jive with each other’s scent, they’re
paired up as a match. Source
The universal Law of Attraction states that we draw to us those people, events, and circumstances that match our inner state of being. In other words, we attract experiences that are consistent with our beliefs. If we believe that there is plenty of love in the world and we are worthy of giving and receiving that love, we will attract a different quality of relationships than someone who believes in scarcity or feels unworthy of happiness.