attention span of a rodent

BTS as shit Cosmo said -FairlyOddParents ed.
  • <p> <b>JK:</b> uh, tae tae did it! TO THE ESCAPE POD!!! *rocket flies up* *goes down and crashes*<p/><b>V:</b> I'm not bright, big words confuse me, I have the attention span of a rodent and Jimin loves me anyway!<p/><b>JM:</b> she said "pu" and then "ding"!<p/><b></b> *laughs hysterically*<p/><b>JH:</b> Let's do the nag! You nag it to the left! You nag to the right! Come on everybody let's Nag tonight! I'm a livin' doll!<p/><b>SG:</b> *sniffs the air* Wow.. Freedom stinks<p/><b>JIN:</b> Ha! I'm licking the popcorn so I don't have to share it!<p/><b>RM:</b> [The Cosmo Show] It's a show about nothing. How do we know when it's finished?<p/></p>
  • [Bokuto's parents are complaining about his relationship with Akaashi]
  • Bokuto: Let get something straight.
  • Bokuto: I'm not bright. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent.
  • Bokuto: But Akaashi loves me anyway!
  • Bokuto: He makes me happy, and that should be enough for you!
Beneficial - Harry Styles Smut

“Y/N, would you shut up about this guy? I’m tired of you complaining about him.” Your friend Amy groaned from across the table. The two of you decided to go out to dinner and catch up since you hadn’t talked all weekend, and that was a long time for you to be separated from each other.

“I know but he just annoys me so much!” you exclaimed, closing your eyes in an attempt to calm yourself down. He practically only talked to you when you were naked or benefiting him in some way. You remembered the texts he never responded to, the times you’d hung out in groups and he never acknowledged you, and the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for years.

“Obviously he’s an ass, just let it go.” She giggled, sipping her drink. Although you’d met your fair share of self-centered boys, there was something about this one that you couldn’t get over. Perhaps it was because he was just brutally attractive and his thick accent was enough to make keel over.

Keep reading

STOP SCROLLING I HAVE VERY EXCITING NEWS

LISTEN UP GUYS I NEED TO TELL U ABOUT SOMETHING SUPER COOL

an author called simon packham (coincidentally the father of one of my best pals clare) wrote this book called ‘only we know’ which i thought i’d give a go one night and ok

IT 

IS

AMAZING

honestly like . i don’t read that much that isn’t online (oops) but i literally didn’t put this book down till i finished the very last sentence at what couldn’t be any earlier than 5am because . oh my gOD 

i’m not exactly the best at coherent book reviews (as is probably evident by now) but honestly like . it’s so so SO GOOD and the reason i’m posting this is because it’s specifically aimed towards the teenage target audience, and i know a lot of which read my stuff, so if you like what i write then you’ll love this i promise you

this is the synopsis btw:

Lauren’s family have just moved house, and a new home means a new school. Lauren is determined to take this opportunity to completely reinvent herself and she quickly makes friends and settles in to her new life.  Everything’s going to plan until she runs into Harry, a boy she met four summers ago. Luckily for Lauren, Harry doesn’t seem to remember her, and she knows it has to stay that way.

Then, just when things are starting to go well again, creepy packages start appearing in Lauren’s locker wit no explanation. Finally, she recieves a disturbing, anonymous note:

‘Isn’t it time your new friends knew all about you?’

Who is sending these chilling messages? And what is the secret that Lauren is desperate to keep hidden?”

it handles topical issues very sensitively and is written so realistically from a british teenage girl’s perspective. it has the perfect balance of seriousness and humour (some parts genuinely made me laugh out loud) and good character development all written around an insanely gripping plotline like . i dont wanna spoil things so i can only say so much about it but coming from a reader with the attention span of a rodent it had me hooked until literally the very last sentence it’s just sUCH a good read 

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

the actual reason i’m posting this (aside from the fact i think you’ll love it) is because simon’s doing a signed giveaway with this book!! 

so if you like the sound of this book and wanna be in with the chance of getting a copy for free with an actual siGNATURE on it, all you have to do to enter is reblog :) 

(but honestly, i wouldn’t be doing this if i didn’t think you guys would be as genuinely interested in it as i was)

good luck!!