attention seek

two types of the signs, mostly based on people i know

aries:

type 1 - “i’m an aries!”, loud, starts driving before everyone has their seatbelt on (or before people even get in the car), loves cooking but usually just buys everything from the store and pretends they put hard work into it, hard to tell if they’re stupid or smart.

type 2 - takes 100 selfies in a row, does really cool makeup, doesn’t believe in school, “this musical artist is SO under appreciated.”

taurus:

type 1 - down to earth, has neat handwriting and doodles in class, patient, bird-lover, likes making flower crowns, laughs a lot.

type 2 - show-off, amazing memory, can be an edgy people-hater, loves yelling, gives people weird nicknames.

gemini:

type 1 - two-faced, feels like they need something in return for their actions, cares more about bagels than people, the friend who everyone worries about.

type 2 - loves reading, kind and supportive but awkward about it, the type of person you call when you need advice, snappy when they’re being interrupted, watches 5 tv shows at a time.

cancer:

type 1 - down for literally any adventure, cries or has a breakdown while eating, doesn’t realize some things they do are harmful to themselves but can sense when others have a problem.

type 2 - talks very fast, takes on any task without a problem, loves talking about themselves, can probably do 10 backflips in a row, moody, sends smiley emojis in every text message.

leo:

type 1 - attention-seeking, wants everyone to respect them, says “lol” out loud, laughs at their own stories but sometimes forgets to listen to others, animal lover, a good role model.

type 2 - genuinely cares about their friends and checks up on them always, super chill and easygoing, fashionable, gives great hugs, someone you go to when you’re sad.

virgo:

type 1 - shy, gentle, awful at explaining things and you really never know what they’re talking about, offers everyone gum, knows all the lyrics to every song they listen to.

type 2 - anxious about tiny things but ignores huge problems, cares so much about others that it gets annoying, likes to redecorate or organize their room for fun, loans you a pencil and forgets to ask for it back.

libra:

type 1 - movie expert, likes when people laugh at their jokes, untrustworthy but somehow you trust them anyway, casually shares deep secrets or personal information randomly like it’s no big deal.

type 2 - doesn’t like opening up or sharing feelings, artistic and individualistic, doesn’t have problems with anyone or anything.

scorpio:

type 1 - calm/quiet and very open minded, loves the ocean, nice but when provoked they turn into a whole other person (who is terrifying), very passionate about their interests.

type 2 - doesn’t ever know what’s happening, suspicious and questions others’ motives, either loves someone or hates them, never shares secrets. ever.

sagittarius:

type 1 - plays at least 3 musical instruments, likes being right, theater kid, extrovert one minute and introvert the next, opens up to others and immediately regrets it.

type 2 - angsty teen attitude, has strong opinions, blames problems on others, maybe has a heart deep down?

capricorn:

type 1 - makes fun of everything, the most extroverted friend, pretends like they don’t care about others’ opinions but deep down is extremely self-conscious, forgetful, funniest jokes.

type 2 - honestly? a real fucking pain in the ass.

aquarius:

type 1 - feminist, nature lover and very free spirited, knowledgeable and factual, has a silly side, cool hair, can listen to all your problems but will never know what to say.

type 2 - can be cold but they are just trying to protect themselves, has one character/idol that they would literally die for, has probably made up all of the funny stories they tell because they want others to like them.

pisces:

type 1 - extremely honest but can doubt their beliefs since they try to get along with everyone, generous when it comes to material but will not give up themselves to others.

type 2 - understanding, shy extrovert, great with advice but doesn’t know how to take other people’s advice (asks for help but doesn’t want to), never fully present or in the moment.

  • me: [doesnt get attention for fifteen seconds]
  • me: [drapes self over the lounge] it is fine. i am Okay. i suppose it is simply my destiny to die alone. Abandoned. Without a soul in the world to care for me. [delicately wipes a glistening tear from my eye] i'm not bothered. i Understand why you all Hate Me and wish me dead. after all, maybe it is all for the best....... [i stare forlornly into the middle distance, allowing my limbs to go slack as i lie back and wait to wither away, ignored forever]

anonymous asked:

Hi Alice, odd question but: Do you believe asexuals belong in the LGBT community? I have a friend who identifies this way, but as a trans girl, I'm struggling to understand how she has to go through the same things as an LGBT person by being asexual. And struggle aside, I don't even see how asexuality is THAT different from heterosexuality, just with more... hesitation!? Maybe this sounds rude, but I know you've written about asexual people etc, and I wondered what you thought. No shade intended

Hi there. I’m glad you reached out to me about this because you must have really upset your friend by saying stuff like this to them.

It’s easy to see why not only cishet people, but also LGBT+ people, think that asexuality is fake. The world is awash with sex and sexual attraction. It’s everywhere. And everyone is supposed to want it and feel it. It’s so extremely normalised that the idea that someone could be literally UNABLE to feel sexual attraction is, to many people, absolutely bizarre and a joke.

Even if you acknowledge that asexuality is real, it’s also easy to see why you would be so quick to reject and get angry at asexual people who call themselves LGBT+. Because asexual people are not like you, are they. Unless they are trans, asexuals don’t have gender troubles, and unless they experience same-gender romantic attraction, asexuals don’t experience same-gender attraction! Lesbian, bi, gay etc people can all be joined together in their experience of same gender attraction, and all trans folks, binary and non binary, can be joined together in their experience of feeing a disconnect from their assigned birth gender.

The result? No one wants asexuals near them. People can’t relate. No one else feels the way asexuals do and people don’t think they should be part of the group. They’re not the same as you.

But oh god, they are not allowed in the cishet club either.

The first thing you need to try and unlearn is that asexuality is in any way similar to heterosexuality. It’s not. It’s so, so fucking not. It’s painful how different it feels to be asexual compared to being heterosexual. Telling an ace person that asexuality isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’ is about as accurate as saying being gay isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’. Being asexual means you do not experience sexual attraction, ever. EVER. And while that might seem easy to you, it’s an extremely painful and terrifying thing to learn about yourself, in a world where everyone is expected to have an array of sexual experiences, fall in love, get married, and anyone who doesn’t do that is strange and a freak.

Learning you are asexual can be terrifying. When you realise you’ve never had a crush, when all your friends have had ten each, you are terrified. When you pass the age where people have started dating and having sex and you still feel nothing - NOTHING - you are terrified. When you think about ever falling in love and the idea disgusts you, or you think about falling in love and you crave it, god you CRAVE it, but you know you can’t ever feel that, you are terrified. When you realise you will never be able to enjoy a normal romantic/sexual relationship, the ones full of passion like you see in the movies, and people will reject you because you can’t fancy them in that way, and there’s a higher chance for you than anyone else that you will simply die alone, without love, without children - you are terrified.

You think being ace is the same as heterosexuality? You think it’s an easy thing to learn about yourself? Explain the terror, then. I’m all ears.

The fact you see asexuality as 'hesitation’ is really horrifying to me. Asexuals aren’t attracted to the opposite gender but 'hesitant’ to act on it. Asexuals DO NOT feel attraction. To anyone. It’s not a choice. It’s not a way of life. It’s not the same as celibacy out of choice, or being a 'prude’, or waiting till marriage. It is ingrained in you, just like being gay is, just like being trans is. It is a part of you that no matter how hard you try to will it away, no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself otherwise, you cannot help it. You DO NOT feel attracted to ANYONE.

And in saying all this, I fully acknowledge that asexuals do not experience the extent of oppression that other LGBT+ folks do. There are no laws regarding asexuality. Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and other LGBT+ folks no doubt experience a higher level and intensity of systematic oppression to asexuals, more frequently go through hard experiences due to their orientation or gender. But since when did being LGBT+ become a competition for 'who’s the most oppressed’? Is that what LGBT+ is? You’re only allowed in the club if you’re 'oppressed enough’? If you’re 'gay enough’? If you’re 'trans enough’?

If you need persuading that asexuals do experience their own form of oppression, though, consider the number of asexuals who are coerced into sex in order to 'fix’ them. Consider the emotional pain that I have already discussed, of feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong and gross about you because you feel attracted to no one. Consider the number of asexuals who are hounded or emotionally abused by their families for failing to find partners. Consider the number of asexuals who force themselves to have sexual experiences, because it is the norm, because they don’t even know what asexuality is, because THEY think that they are just 'hesitant’, despite finding sex disgusting and feeling no desire to do it. Do you really think asexuals are just running around, free and happy and content in who they are? They aren’t. I’m not.

So go ahead. Cast aside asexuals if you want. Call them attention-seeking, call them special snowflakes. Ignore the pain they feel. Make them go through it alone, in pain, terrified of what they are. Why on earth would the LGBT+ community be a place to support people like that!?

Messages like the one you have just sent me gives me further reason to never talk about that part of myself. To just sit and cry about it at home day after day because I do not like myself. Because I feel that nobody will accept me or understand who I am. I could list the number of things people have said to me to discredit and laugh at this part of myself, but it’s people like you who make me embarrassed to talk about it, too scared to own a label and talk about it freely and openly.

I thought, going into this, that the LGBT+ community was one of total respect, understanding, and empathy. I learnt pretty quickly that it is not.

I send love to your asexual friend. I really, really do.

Disclaimer: I am very aware of the nuances of asexuality, of the differences between romantic/aesthetic/sexual attraction, but sadly it seems that many people can’t even grasp the basic concept of asexuality, so I don’t quite think they’re ready for that yet.

Deeply misunderstanding the term “universal healthcare”, aliens have begun arriving in Canada, seeking medical attention. Canadians, being Canadian, are too polite to correct them.

May you take time
to celebrate the quiet miracles
that seek no attention. May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven
around the heart of wonder.
—  John O’Donohue | For Presence
♈♌♐ Fire Glows  ♉♍♑ Earth Grows ♊♎♒ Air Knows ♋♏♓ Water Flows

Fire emphasis: Self confident, impulsive, initiative, dominant, energetic, uncontrollable, independent, imaginative, creative, idealistic, stimulating, intense, inspiring, self amusing, intuitive, defensive, self ruling, commanding, playful, spontaneous, delighted, can become burnt out, passionate, independent

Fire Deficit can express as: Lethargic, lack confidence, reserved, underwhelmed, rational, guarded, withdrawing, disinterested, has trouble with assertion, easily bored, melancholic and/or ultra restless and disorderly, impatient, forceful, angry, confused, lack of passion and direction, attention seeking, aggressive

Earth emphasis: Realistic, pedantic, compulsive, materialistic, orderly, refined, responsible, shy, guarded, emotionally reserved, ritualistic, pessimistic, rational, thorough, aware, intelligent, focused, in tune with nature, understands limitations, the physical body is a temple, stabilizing, relies too heavily on logic, sensual

Earth deficit can express as: Spaciness, disorderly, irresponsible, dependent, out of touch with basic living requirements, distant or not contained in the physical body, nomadic, can struggle holding down employment or responsibilities, neglects health, moody or overly cautious and serious, controlling, structured, anxious, hypochondriac, meticulous, duty bound, afraid of imagination

Air emphasis: Clever, spaced out, communicative, cerebral, conceptual, out of touch with the physical body, unrealistic, engaging, social, curious, restless, objective, mentally active, light eater, graceful, flexible, lost in thought, insomniac, informative, abstract, conceives ideas, detached, over emphasizes the intellectual response, distant, imaginative

Air deficient can express as: Extreme doubts with intelligence, struggle with academic and educative institutions, sedate in thinking and latching onto ideas, trouble turning inner world into language, disconnected, quiet minded or becomes a master of a field, highly motivated with education, feels the need to prove intelligence, over rational, worried, high functioning intellectual, dominant in conversation

Water emphasis: Receptive, fluid, hyper sensitive, emotionally focused, secretive, empathetic, withdrawing, solitary, idealistic, visionary, unstable, melancholic, theatrical with emotional displays, projects feelings onto others, people conscious, intuitive, lacks boundaries, can be easily manipulated, lethargic, escapist, disturbed, overwhelmed

Water deficit can express as: Inability to comprehend and identify feelings, disregards emotions, low emotional intelligence, dissociated, unresponsive, has trouble ascertaining values, emptiness, contained, distant, insensitive to the pain of others or extremely moody and unstable, represses emotions until violent outburst, unpredictable, hypersensitive, cannot understand nor control moods, reactive

-Cherry