attendance board

I spent most of my weekend attempting to go through and transcribe more of  Rachel‘s letters.

For those who haven’t been following along, Rachel was a teenage girl who was attending a prestigious boarding school in Boston (and later in Philadelphia) in the 1890s. I bought a bunch of letters written by her (and other family members/friends) at a flea market two summers ago. Most of the letters were written to her cousins Will and Jack, who were right around her age and were at Phillips Academy and later Harvard and Yale.

I’m going to try to get around to photographing the letters soon, but for now here are a just a few of the many, many highlights and interesting tidbits…

  • Rachel was almost expelled from Dana Hall in 1895 for… something. She never says exactly what she did. The only thing I’ve managed to discern is that it started with her and her roommate going to the headmistress to jokingly “confess their crimes” after another girl had been expelled for fighting, and ended with two full school faculty meetings and her losing her Hogsmeade Boston privileges until Easter.
  • Rachel has an aunt named Isabel S. Smith. As far as I can tell the S also stands for Smith. 
  • Will sent Rachel a picture of himself and his roommate Allen. Rachel hung the picture in her room. The other girls in her dormitory saw it and now everyone is in love with Allen.
  • Allen refers to himself as Will’s husband. He signs his letters to him “Hubby”. Rachel randomly ran into Allen’s dad somewhere and wrote Will to let him know that his “father-in-law” seems like a lovely man.
  • A lucky rabbit’s foot was THE must-have accessory of 1896.
  • Trying to make plans by letter and telegraph seems to have been surprisingly similar to trying to make plans by text
  • For the 1896 Election Rachel’s school had mock elections where each dorm room was an election district, and then they stayed up late waiting for the results which were announced by ringing the electric bell in the tower (6 times for Bryan, 12 for McKinley). None of these girls would be able to actually vote for president for another 24 years.
  • In one weekend Rachel saw performances by Emma Calvé, E. H Sothern and Julia Marlowe.
  • Her reviews of the performances were as follows:
    • “Calvé was perfect…She was called back seventeen times and finally sang.”
    • “Sothern!!!”
    • “Well of course you’ve seen her so there’s no use in my raving.”
  • Rachel heard Calvé sing this in person.
  • Using multiple exclamation points is not a new thing
  • Will has a crush on Julia Marlowe
We Got Married (M)

Originally posted by kthmyg

8.8k words. Arranged Marriage AU. Min Yoongi.

Warning: Fingering. Phone sex. ft Kim Namjoon.


It’s hilarious, laughable, pathetic even, how love could either build you or ruin you and yet knowing this, people still chase after it like the rise of golden light beyond the horizon, or the last drop of dew in twilight, or the flutter of that one coral blue butterflies in buttercup paved meadow.

It’s frightening, daunting, startling even, how love makes your hands clammy like you’re being interviewed by the very man who founded the big shot company you’ve applied to.

And it’s utterly, impossibly, unbelievable how love comes in many ways like a bump and a spill of coffee on crisp white shirt, or a brush of hands upon a dusty leather brown book spine or an envelope obtained from a mailbox on one’s way back from grocery shopping.

Well, that’s exactly what’s happening to Min Yoongi, second son to one of the well-known elite families in Seoul. Most of the time, he couldn’t care less about family matters; business deals, dinner with alien faces and empty conversations─ those things he’s entitled to attend with mildly bored eyes and champagne he’ll never finish in one hand. But this particular matter, he can’t just not care. One, because it directly concerns him (as if the cursive letter of his name engraved in bold black against crisp white isn’t enough indication). Two, because it’s from a certain someone in his family who he’s fond of.

Dear Yoongi,

Is written on the top of the not so neat written paper.

Son,

I know you might hate me for this.

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Why do people think Lena will be evil? Of all the Lena Luthor versions just one is really a villain

Why do people always say that Lena has to be evil if they follow the Comics when she isn’t evil in most of them? And she isn’t evil in other TV appareances either. Let’s see what we have here:

In the comics

First version

Was first introduced in Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane #23. This version of her has psychic abilities thanks to one of Lex’s experiments. She wants to work wih the FBI but they don’t let her because of her past. She joins a band of criminals only to bring them back to justice and after Supergirl discovers this she tries to get her that job with the FBI. She’s good and she loses her abilities later.

Second version

She first appears in Superman: Secret Origin and then in Adventure Comics. This version of Lena is paralyzed after an accident. She’s a single mom, she has a daughter, Lori Luthor.  Lex cures Lena but then uncures her and  won’t reveal how he did it until Superman is dead. She’s not evil in this version either.

Third Version

She’s in The New 52 era of the DC comics. This version of Lena suffered from G.B. syndrome and when Lex tried to cure her faster he left her paralyzed. She works in the labs of Lexcorp and she helps it become a global powerhouse. After a lot of stuff happens she turns against Lex and becomes a supervillian, Ultrawoman. She gains powers in this version too.

Fourth version

She’s from Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the Eighth Grade. She’s Linda (Kara)’s best friend. They attend the same boarding school. She’s 13 and she’s super smart. She’s actually really nice and a really good friend, she’s a little antagonistic, not really a villain though. She blames Supergirl for what happened to Lex but after some things happen she changes her mind.

Bonus

I don’t think Lex’s daugther, Lena Luthor II, counts because that’s not really the same character. In that universe Lex did have a sister named Lena, who was killed by their foster father, and he named his daughter after her. His daughter, Lena, was controlled by Brainiac. 

In TV shows

First Version

She was in Superboy, a TV show from 1988. Lex and Lena were abused by their father all the time when they were kids. Lex kills their parents and some years later Lena fakes her death to escape the Luthor name. When Lex finds out she “died” he tries to destroy the planet but Lena, who was found by Clark and Lana, stops him. She was good.

Second Version

She appeared in Smallville initially as Tess Mercer, who later discovers she’s Lutessa Lena Luthor. She’s the illegitimate daughter of Lionel and was left in an orphanage when she was five. She works a lot with Clark and is part of the Checkmate organization. She seemed antagonistic at first but she was good.

And then, we have our Lena and so far she seems to be nothing but good, and Katie has said so, she’s genuine and honest, what you see is what you get. So I don’t really think they will turn her into a villain

Originally posted by awitchpire

My Medic Headcanon
  • Full name is Dr. Bertram Radomír Ludwig.

  • Born in 1922, making him the oldest of the mercs.

  • Second only to Spy in his knowledge of languages. He’s fully fluent in German, English, Czech, and Yiddish—the latter two from his mother—and passably fluent in French. He has academic knowledge of Latin and Greek and has picked up a bit of Russian from Heavy.

  • Has a mixed parentage. His mother was a Jewish-Czech immigrant to the town of Rottenburg, and his father, a mad scientist from an established, well-off family. She was hired on as his father’s lab assistant, eventually leading to their marriage. They’d describe it as very romantic, but Medic always thought it was weird and kind of gross.

  • An only child.

  • Went on family hiking trips to the Alps growing up, an activity he still enjoys when he has a chance.

  • Was initially raised Jewish, but this was abandoned a few years before he was Bar Mitzvah age. By 1933, his parents scrubbed as much of their family’s Jewish connections as they could. As a result, he doesn’t feel much connection to the Jewish culture or faith. So he’s non-practicing, obviously.

  • Starting in his early teens, he attended all-male boarding schools, first in Germany and then in Switzerland.

  • His mother used his attendance at Swiss schools as a ticket to escape an increasingly tense Germany and move to be near him. His father promised he’d follow eventually, but never did. Medic never forgave him for that.

  • During WWII, his father finally divorced his mother, declaring the marriage a lost cause and starting over with a new young wife. Medic cut off all contact with his father after that.

  • Supported his mother after the divorce and finished putting himself through school by selling drugs and organs on the black market and performing back-alley surgeries. He gained a reputation for stealing kidneys from the men he slept with but still did just fine. Besides, he only took one!

  • Toward the end of WWII, Medic did his first stint of field medicine when bombing (from both sides) spilled over into Zürich, where he was living and studying at the time. He turned out to be very good at it, but before he could leave Switzerland and go work on the front, the war was over. Whoops!

  • His father is still alive, but Medic pretends he’s dead. 

zadjatheifrit  asked:

What was it like getting your first gig as a director on a show like Ducktales, and what does it mean honestly to be a director?

Hey! Like doing anything for the first time I was in complete denial that I could direct and thought I was going to get fired everyday. After about two months I got into the groove of things and found out I really LIKE directing! The multitasking, the collaboration, apparently I’m into that shit. Unfortunately I had to leave DT early bc I was moving on to develop my own project full time. 

Your second question interests me a lot. Most people think a director for feature film and a director for TV do the same things. They don’t! I don’t know what it’s like to direct a film but here’s what my situation was like on Ducktales: I was one of 3 directors. I had a team of 3 (awesome and amazing) board artists that I was supervising; making sure their separate scenes flowed into one cohesive episode. My boss, the showrunner Matt Youngberg, basically does what I do on a macro scale. He supervises the directors and makes sure all the episodes flow into one cohesive series (plus attends an atrocious amount of meetings). I don’t write, though I may suggest changes if some problems arise. Luckily we have a super collaborative team where we have an open dialogue with the writers. I also spend a lot of time with editors figuring out the timing of everything. (That’s a part of the process I really love. If you’re thinking of directing start stock piling a music library! Your future self with thank you!) I do a million other tiny jobs but my main goal is making sure my episodes are fun.

Every director prioritizes different things and every show defines a director in a different way. Many shows have Assistant Directors. (Ducktales doesn’t.) Some shows don’t even have directors, they have storyboard supervisors, different name for the same job. Sometimes directors are also writers, sometimes they attend records, sometimes they board sometimes they don’t etc etc. But no matter where you are you always have the same goal: to make your episodes CLEAR and ENTERTAINING. Everything else is secondary. 

Mile High | Taeyong

Warning: Strong language, Smut

Word count: 1930

Originally posted by nakamotens

I slumped into the hard, faux leather chair while shoving my earbuds into my ears. Music slowly started to fill my mind and I was at ease once again. I looked around the gate, my eyes scanning over every person. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the chair, waiting for the flight attendant to board my plane.

I was on my way back from Japan, where I went to visit what I had thought was my boyfriend. Only to walk in on him and another girl which then proceeded to cancel any and all plans I had for this trip and buy the first ticket back home. What a prick. I grew angry just thinking about him, and secretly thanked the flight attendant when she pulled me out of my thoughts.

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HANGING BY A MOMENT

His favorite things are the summers, because that’s when you return from boarding school, and his life becomes a lot more bright and a lot less dull.

“friendship can be an excuse. a cover for when there’s something there you don’t want to admit or you’re too scared to explore.” - gossip girl

pairing: park jimin x reader 
words: 8,653
genre: skinny!love,  
warnings: mature themes, slight angst
before: alright, so please keep in mind that this is the first oneshot I have ever written, therefore please don’t be too harsh on me. I hope I get better in time. I received two Jimin requests and decided to combine them both into one. any who, I hope this is somewhat tolerable! I apologize in advance.




Jimin’s not sure when it began.



As he watches you dance with a very inebriated yet still somehow skillful Hoseok, who insists on being a little too touchy with you (at least in Jimin’s opinion) it’s all that seems to cross his mind.



That, and the thought of how badly he wants to remove Hoseok from the current situation and instead replace the older with himself.



You both are dancing to the slower version of one of your favorite songs, one that’s permanently etched in Jimin’s mind because of your refusal to listen to anything else but the damn song the entire summer break of last year.


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anonymous asked:

Headcanons/scenario (whatever you prefer) for Levi and/or Jean being reunited with their lover after a looooong time apart Love you, you are awesome

Thank-you so much for the compliment, anon! I went with a modern! AU for Levi–I hope that’s okay and this is to your liking! 


Loud, boisterous chatter echoed off the walls of the airport, but the only things you were hellbent on was making it to the baggage claim as quickly as possible, hailing a taxi, and heading home as soon as you could manage.

Your legs, stiff from being cramped on a fourteen-hour flight, felt like jello as you tried to readjust to walking in heels, the familiar click-clack reverberating off the flooring beneath your feet. According to the clock on the wall, it had just reached eight A.M. which would be a decent hour, if only you had managed to sleep on the godforsaken plane.

A heavy sigh pulled from your lips as you stopped to catch the escalator downstairs, the chorus of people quieting down. Under normal circumstances, you would have outright refused to go on a four-week business trip all the way to China. Airports and planes were often breeding grounds for migraines and pandemonium, but your boss had made it crystal clear that you were the only one with the availability and skill to attend the long, tedious board meetings.

Your boss had been right. If there were several things you prided yourself on, your work ethic was at the top of the tier.

Hoisting your laptop bag over your shoulder, your eyes scanned over the large monitors for your flight number and you paused upon reaching your luggage carousel. You fished your phone from out of your pocket, a frown dipping at the edges of your lips. No missed calls; you didn’t know what you were expecting, honestly. It wasn’t like you had asked your boyfriend to come and get you, given he would be busy with his own workload.

By the time you picked up your luggage and flagged down a cab, the only thing that was on your mind was a scorching hot shower accompanied by a long nap. There were several dozen over things you could be doing, but you deserved some time off, damn it.

The ride back to your apartment building was quiet, save for the gentle lull of pop music emitting from the driver’s speakers. You paid and thanked him for helping to pull your bags out of the trunk, exhaustion hitting you as you trudged towards the elevator and tapped the button for your floor.

There were plenty of things you expected to be awaiting you when you entered your apartment, but the smell of food and the image of your sorted mail on the table was not one of them.

“Levi?” you tiredly called out, gaze flickering over your now-pristine apartment. While you weren’t untidy in the slightest, the faint smell of fresh linen and the way your floors seemed to gleam underneath your feet could only be the handiwork of your cleaning-obsessed boyfriend.

Levi, as if on cue, emerged from the hall with the arms of his button-down rolled over his forearms. The both of you stood there for a moment until he jerked his head towards your kitchen and informed, “Tea isn’t ready, but you can eat. I’m sure you’re tired of the shit airplane garage they try to pass off as food.”

Although many wouldn’t consider what he had done for you as thoughtful or considerate, you knew better than to brush off. From the looks of it, Levi had been here for a while, making sure that everything was clean and taken care of for when you came back. He wasn’t good with words, so you knew that all these small actions were not only his way of wanting to make sure everything was in order for when you came home, but also a way to distract himself until the time you got home.

“I’ll eat later,” you insisted and dropped your bags by the door. Walking around the table, you sighed, wrapping your arms around his muscular frame before burying your face into the crook of his neck. The scent of fresh soap and musk—the same scent that was so undeniably Levi—flooded your senses and you found yourself completely relaxing. He shifted in your embrace for just a moment until his arms encircled your waist, pressing you closer against his chest in a silent way of reminding himself that you were actually there with him.

Four weeks didn’t seem like a long time, but it had felt like an eternity away from him.

A few heartbeats passed by before you gently pushed on Levi’s chest, taking the opportunity to hold the sides of his face and kiss him fervently. It had felt so long since the last time you were able to touch him and, now that you were home, you found yourself wanting to make up for lost time.

Levi’s hand slid further down your waist whilst the other found the back of your neck, his slender fingers tangling in your locks as he savored you and tasted you. Although he hadn’t said it outright, you could tell that the distance and time apart had affected him just as much as it had you.

He was the first one to break your kiss, but you refused to move from this position, opting to rest your forehead against his own in a tender, affectionate manner.

“Hey,” you breathed, your hand traveling down from his face in order to reach for his hand, “next time Erwin suggests for me to go overseas without you, make sure it’s not for a whole month.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Levi insisted underneath his breath and finally moved from your arms, the grip on your hand never faltering. Without another word, he led you into your bedroom, the tea and the food on the stove forgotten, as he expressed just how much he had missed you during your time apart.

On second thought, maybe you should go out of town more often.

(Mud Fic) Sorry

tag list:  @here-to-vent@fandomsofrandom@mylasagnaisraw@virgilsspidercurtains @jaye–universe@justanotherpurplebutterfly   @tiny-mudkip@romananalogicality@pattonpending @edgeworthsnoodle@lovely-chaotic-goddess @aph-curls-n-dimples @the-babysitter@sunnyside12pershon @xix-leiloves-xix @cup-of-blue@thegeekgirl42 @the-potterhead-phandom  @emupoppyjay @introverted-slytherin-of-history  @what-even-is-thiss

Fandom(s): Sanders Sides, YouTube, Thomas Sanders


“Okay, seriously, where did you put my chainsaw?” Roman asked, looking at his brothers with his hands on his hips. Virgil and Patton both shrugged, but Logan pushed up his glasses nervously and set his book down. 

“Well…you see, I needed it for a school project, so I brought it in, but it’s considered a weapon so it got confiscated. Then the principal used it to kill his secretary and the lunch lady, so he got arrested and the police melted it down to make ouija boards,” Logan explained. 

“WHAT?! Roman asked, horrified. 

“Sorry….” 

Dear Evan Hansen Superpower AU

- takes place in the x-men universe, so Evan (and the rest of the gang) is a mutant. (If you aren’t familiar with the x-men universe, a mutant is someone who has superpowers because of a genetic mutation) His powers are controlling plants, but he’s not very in control of them, so plants will pop up if he gets really emotional.

- neither of his parents are mutants. In fact, Evan’s powers are why his dad left when he was 7 and hasn’t contacted his former family since.

- Evan was able to get through school without a serious incident until 7th grade. A lot of people witnessed his powers, so his mom pulled him out of school. After that was when he was approached about Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. (School for mutants to learn in a safe environment.) We’ll pretend the school was free for him so he gets to go.

- upon arrival, he’s reunited with an old family friend of his that disappeared from school in 5th grade. Evan never knew why until now. He and Jared share a room together, and Jared’s powers revolve around electricity.

- when he arrives, he also meets Alana, a young (and incredibly gifted) telepath. Evan is upset at first that Alana knows what he’s thinking and knows about pretty much everything he tries to keep secret but Alana is very kind and understanding.

- Evan isn’t very close with Jared or Alana for a long time. He avoids Jared because he thinks Jared dislikes him (because of his sarcasm and the way he teases/makes fun of Evan), and he avoids Alana because even though he knows it’s not her fault, he doesn’t want his mind being read all the time, especially when his anxiety/depression act up and his thoughts become… worrying.

- While Evan misses his mom and felt uncomfortable attending a boarding school far away from her, he thought it was for the best, because he would be out of her way and she wouldn’t be burdened by him (besides during the summertime)

- For his freshman, sophomore, and junior years, nothing changes much. He isolates himself as much as possible, and tries to get by. While he’s better at controlling plants in general, he’s still not in control of the plants that pop up due to his emotions. As his mental state grows worse throughout the years, so does this problem. He’s glad that not many people know about floriography, because then they’d understand his feelings and thoughts.

- Evan goes home each summer. During his summer after junior year when his mental state is at its worst, Evan volunteers at Ellison State Park for a few reasons.

1. He feels like he’s a burden to his mother. He doesn’t want to bother her, so he finds a reason to be out of the house.

2. Since his anxiety and depression has elevated, his issues surrounding his powers have too. His mom had been around for a lot of his life, and she has a pretty good idea of what some plants mean when they show up regarding Evan’s emotions. If he’s at the park all the time, he won’t have to deal with his mom seeing the plants as much.

3. The state park is full of plants, and that’s comforting to him.

- during the summer, evan’s isolation increases his depressive thoughts. There’s usually a variation in the plants that grow near him, but now there’s only been 2 things: love-lies-bleeding, which represents hopelessness, and fungi, which represents loneliness.

- one day, Evan decides to finally go through with a thought that’s been on his mind for a while now. He decides that the tree is the best method, because that can be passed off as an accident if it fails, and it’s the most accessible option. He finds the tallest tree he can, and he climbs it. Leading up to this moment is almost scary, because Evan’s mind is calm for once. No more plants are sprouting up around him. If he had any doubt before, it’s gone as soon as he notices this. When he reaches the top, he hesitates for a moment, but then he lets himself let go of the branch and fall.

- when he wakes up, the first thing he notices are the plants growing around him. Rue, which represents regret. Then he notices the numbness in his arm. He isn’t sure if it’s broken until he tries to move it and marigolds pop up. Pain.

- Evan first calls his mom, but she doesn’t answer. Since his house isn’t far, he decides he’ll just walk. He can’t go to the hospital without her. Ever since they found out about his powers, they avoided Evan going to the hospital if they could. Since Heidi worked there, however, she was able to pull some strings if/when there was an emergency.

- Evan convinces his mom that it was an accident, and he gets his cast put on. When his mom says he won’t be allowed to work at Ellison anymore, he’s glad that the school year is about to start.

- when he gets to school, Jared is immediately telling him about the new kids. The Murphy siblings. Since Jared had arrived a few days prior, he’s met them and already delved into the gossip surrounding them. He tells Evan about their powers; how Zoe Murphy controls water and Connor Murphy controls earth. He tells Evan about how they clash, partly because of their powers, and partly because Connor is apparently “batshit out of his mind.” It’s then that he remembers to tell Evan that he’ll be Connor’s roommate this year; not Jared’s. If Jared notices the Begonias that grow at Evan’s feet, representing the fear he feels, he doesn’t address it.

- Jared barely notices the clunky cast on Evan’s arm, but when he asks and Evan tells him he fell out of a tree, he immediately howls with laughter. “That’s so fucking ironic, oh my god!” Evan mumbles something about needing to check into his room and quickly leaves.

- he runs into Alana before checking into his room, and she immediately calms his nerves by telling about Zoe and Connor, who she’s had a better chance to meet than Jared, since Zoe is her roommate. She tells him that Connor can lash out and doesn’t seem nice at first, but says it’s only because he’s struggling, and that she thinks Evan and Connor will be good friends. He sees her glance at his cast as she says so, but she doesn’t ask about it. She doesn’t have to; both of them know that.

- Evan has to set everything down before knocking on the door of his new room with his good arm. He only has one small suitcase with him, a pillow, and a duffle bag, but this has already proven to be difficult with his cast.

- after a moment, the door is opened and Evan comes face to face with his new roommate, the “infamous” Connor Murphy. After Evan explains that he’s Connor’s roommate, he moves aside to let Evan in. When Evan struggles with his belongings, Connor rolls his eyes before taking the duffle bag and pillow from him and moving to put them on the empty bed next to the window. Evan stutters a thank you before the room falls silent again as Evan unpacks his few things and Connor lays on his bed reading a book.

- after a while, Connor puts down his book, and asks Evan how he broke his arm, startling Evan from his thoughts as he unpacked.

- Evan gives the same excuse that he gave Jared, and after Connor shoots him a disbelieving look, his eyes soften and he says, “well that’s just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, oh my god,” and he chuckles slightly. Evan grows slightly uncomfortable, because he completely disagrees. He’s heard sadder things, and how he really broke his arm is one of them.

- After about an hour, they leave together (more like they both leave at the same time) to go to dinner. They find that Alana, Jared, and a girl who he can only assume is Zoe are already sitting together, and they both approach their table. Connor looks angry, and Evan assumes it’s because of what Jared told him earlier. He looks to the other girl and sees anger in her face too. Definitely Zoe, then.

- the meal is awkward, as the Murphys are either staring at their plates or glaring at each other, but everyone tries to keep up a light conversation. And by everyone, I mean Alana. Jared is too sarcastic for “light conversation,” Evan is awful at any conversation in general, and the Murphys are almost livid due to each other’s presence.

- plants occasionally sprout in the cracks of the tiled floor, or even pop up on his plate, but the others don’t seem to notice.

- after dinner, everyone returns to their respective rooms.

- After getting ready for bed, and offering Connor a weak goodnight, the lights are shut off and Evan is left to his thoughts. He doesn’t know what the future will entail, especially since he can’t imagine himself being there for it. Evan drifts to sleep as his thoughts are manifested in the plants that grow as he drifts to sleep.

Edit: I published the first chapter of this au on ao3 (username lakenpeter)
how to make spongebob on broadway great

spongebob is a young, hopeful gay kid with a single, religious mother who attends a private, Catholic boarding school

patrick is spongebob’s valedictorian, jock boyfriend who is incredibly closeted and forces their relationship to be a secret one

sandy is a promiscuous girl at their boarding school who patrick gets pregnant while trying to convince himself that he’s not gay

it’s bare: a pop opera

put bare on broadway

A Way Back Home

Member: Kim Donghyun // MXM & Produce 101 Trainee from BNM

Genre: Some angst, some fluff

Plot: When you and Kim Donghyun go separate ways, what does the future hold for you?

Word count: 5534

Originally posted by donghans

“Thank you for inviting me, it was really great,” you gushed to Sejeong, who was grinning broadly. She was glad you had enjoyed the spontaneous offer to come to her church coffeehouse to listen to some of the members perform. Despite having already snacked and drank a few beverages, you had obliged when she and a few of your other childhood friends had decided to head out for drinks.

“I feel like we haven’t met up in ages!” Youngmin’s voice was cheery as he poured soju into the tiny shot glasses. A waiter set down a few snacks on the table, and Woojin thanked him politely before turning back to you.

“____, you were living under the radar for so long. What did you even do after university?” You huffed playfully at his question, poking him with the butt of your chopsticks.

“Hey! Park Woojin! You’re only saying that because you didn’t even try to contact me that much after high school!” He protested feebly, while Sejeong and Youngmin erupted in laughter at your bickering. “Well, I did what I said I would do. I went to law school at Korea University, and with my literature degree I also took up writing a little too. I’ve gotten a few works published, but nothing big.”

“You can’t believe her,” Sejeong chirped, casting a mischievous glance at you as she pointed her chopsticks around for emphasis. “____ actually wrote a sappy romance novel!” Youngmin and Daehwi hooted with approval, while Woojin rolled his eyes. You sighed, glowering at your best friends.

“Where did she even get the experience for that?” Daehwi teased, and your gaze raked over his laughing self.

“Probably with Donghyun.” Woojin said under his breath, but you all froze at the words. Youngmin cleared his throat, trying to break the atmosphere and piled french fries onto your plate.

“How is he?” You finally ask, and Daehwi’s gaze flitted back and forth. He was the youngest in the group, actually an underclassmen you had all befriended, while Youngmin was more of a senior that had taken good care of your group in the neighborhood. It was the first reunion, albeit incomplete, since you had all attended Daehwi’s high school graduation. Even that had been nearly a decade ago.

“You haven’t heard from him or seen him since… that day?” Sejeong asked, her round eyes showing the surprise that was dripping in her voice. You nodded, before downing another shot of soju. It was cold, tasting almost like nothing, and you hummed in appreciation. You truthfully could not tell if it was that you didn’t hear from Donghyun, or that you did not want to hear from him.

“He’s doing well. He might come… if you don’t mind,” Youngmin confessed guiltily. You smile uncomfortably at his words. “I’m not sure. He didn’t say anything. You know how he doesn’t really enjoy drinking.”

“How did you guys even date? You were like best friends! It’s amazing you guys even fell in love,” Daehwi leaned forward, waiting for your reply. Before you could stop it, a smile erupted on your face at the thought of Kim Donghyun.

“Well….”

2005 at age 7

At first we were just neighbors.’

“Tag! You’re it!” The children shrieked with giddiness, scattering like birds as you darted around, trying to grab one. Unfortunately, you were small, and your strides weren’t able to carry you as far as everyone else’s had, so it was difficult for you to find someone else to tag. Yoojung was simply too fast, Doyeon too long legged, Taehyun was excellent at dodging too. Maybe Taehyun’s twin–

“___! Your shoelaces are untied!” Donghyun shouted as you scrambled after him. ‘He’s probably trying to trick me so I slow down!’ You were determined, but the concern in his eyes were the last thing you had seen before you crashed into the grassy ground below you, your knees sinking into the soft earth. The other kids broke into laughter, and you felt ashamed, ears burning bright red. Donghyun knelt beside you, tying your shoelaces with an apologetic smile on his face.

“I’m sorry. If I stopped running and let you tag me, you probably would have had a chance to at least tie your shoes after I was ‘it’.” You shook your head furiously, braided pigtails flapping around.

“I was being dumb. Don’t worry, I’m fine.” You gave him a smile, showing off how you had lost your tooth earlier in the week. He grinned, pointing to his own matching missing tooth.

“Twins? We’re more alike than me and Taehyun,” Donghyun joked, before helping you up. By the time you two had caught up to where the rest of the children were, they had already chosen another child to be ‘it’. You sighed, and Donghyun nudged you with his shoulder.

“Do you still want to play?” You shook your head, pouting.

“It’s not fun for me when I’m always it,” you whined, and he laughed at your words. He pointed at the swing set nearby, which was vacant with the rest of the neighborhood focusing on the game of tag.

“Why don’t we go there then? Do you like swings?” You nodded eagerly, and he grabbed your hand and tugged you along. “Then what are we waiting for?”

2008, Age 10

Then we were good friends.’

You looked around nervously, unsure of how to get home. It was nearing the end of the school year, and in your excitement for the break you had forgotten to even pack an umbrella for the sudden icy rains that would hit your town like there was no tomorrow. And now here you were, watching students run out with umbrellas, careful to not skid on the slushy ground as they ran towards their homes. You felt like everyone was abandoning you, leaving you behind in the cold. You rubbed your hands together, flinching at the cold wind that slapped your face everytime the door opened and another student ran freely.

“___?” You turned at the familiar voice, Donghyun and Taehyun greeting you with smiles. You felt relief sink into your stomach.

“Are you guys leaving now? Do you have a spare umbrella?” Taehyun looked guiltily at Donghyun.

“Sorry. I promised Daehwi’s mother that I would walk him home, so I think I have to share mine. Donghyun?”  

“What would you do without me?” Donghyun teased, before pulling out his own umbrella. He unravelled his scarf, before looping it around your neck and pulling it above the bottom half of your face. “You have to dress warmer! Your mom is going to kill me if you get sick!” He opened the umbrella, before looping his arm into yours.

“I’m glad I have a friend like you,” you whisper to him, and he pretended to be offended at your words.

“I’m glad to have a best friend like you,” he corrected, pulling you to his side closer to prevent your right shoulder from getting wet. He refused to let you fuss over his left shoulder, which was getting hit by the cold precipitation, and he jerked his head towards the thick winter coat he had on.

“Don’t worry! This is ‘everything’ proof.” He boasted, and you tried to suppress the laughter bubbling in your throat. Trust Donghyun to be a ray of positivity and make up something so perfect. He made sure that you were on the side further from the streets, leaning to block any puddles that the cars would run into and letting himself get sprayed.

“Donghyun! You’re going to get sick like this,” you fretted, and he smiled brightly at your words, shaking his head confidently. A few of your female schoolmates you were passing cast envious glances, and you remembered again at how popular he was. Taehyun and Donghyun, the school sweethearts.

“Nothing can hurt me. You just focus on not getting sick.”

2013, Age 15

‘But then you realize there could be more. A lot more.’

“What am I going to do without you?” Donghyun beamed brightly as you gently dusted off his shoulders. He was going on a date with a new girl who arrived at your school, and you had to push the unexpected bitterness down as he had begged you for help. You scoff teasingly at his words.

“Probably live life exactly the same if I weren’t here.” He poked your forehead, causing you to throw a glare at him.

“I would be devastated if you weren’t here.” His eyes caught yours, and for a moment you forgot why you were in his room. Taehyun had moved out to attend a boarding school for the brightest students, while Donghyun had insisted that it was a waste of money for him to attend it as well. You could still remember with a faint blush how he had said he could not leave you behind as well, but you were almost certain he wouldn’t remember those words. You clear your throat, ducking away from him. He had grown tall, and increasingly handsome, as the two of you grew up. Girls couldn’t miss his beautiful smile, and guys could not even muster jealousy because he was simply too angelic in personality.

“It’s getting late. You should go now.” You say forcefully, and he puts his hands on your shoulders, facing you abruptly. You lower your gaze once more, not wanting to see the pure excitement in his eyes. Your stomach did an uncomfortable flip, waiting for his words.

“Don’t study too hard, and don’t miss me too much. I’ll call you when I’m done, and I’ll buy a tub of vanilla ice cream for you on the way back.” He pulled you in for a quick hug, before grabbing his cream cardigan and running out the door. You plop onto his bed, exhaustion taking over. It was not the first time you were in his room without him there, and his parents certainly did not mind whenever you visited. You curled up, hugging his teddy bear that you had bought him for his eighth birthday present. It smelled strongly of him, and you sighed. The girl, Sohye, was pretty. She was kind, and she was probably a good match for someone as loved as Donghyun. You were merely the childhood friend.

You close your eyes, letting your weariness consume you.

“___?” A soft whisper woke you up, along with warmth encompassing your body. Your eyes opened blearily, staring up at Donghyun, who was tucking his blanket around you. He froze when he saw you awaken, guilt on his face.

“Huh? What time is it?” You rolled over, grabbing your phone. It had only been an hour since he left…

“I ended it a little early,” he confessed, sitting on the edge of his bed. He held up a small plastic bag, the outline of a carton of ice cream evident. “I couldn’t really enjoy it when you seemed down.” Warmth flickered in you at his words, and he passed you a pink plastic spoon, before lying down beside you. He grabbed his TV remote, turning on the small screen that was across the room from his bed.

“Are you going to meet her another day then? I’m really sorry.” You mumble around a spoonful of the cold treat. He shook his head, a small smile on his face as he found a rerun of Running Man.

“I didn’t feel a click. I’m sure I’ll meet the right girl another day.” He said, turning to feed you. “Ahhh. Open up.”

2014, Age 16

“I’m borrowing you for a moment,” Donghyun grabbed your hand, his calloused palm wrapped around your own. He flashed a forced smile at Hyunbin, the boy you were talking to at the library, and dragged you out. Your backpack and belongings were already in his other hand, and you frowned.

“What’s wrong?” You spluttered, and he shook his head slightly, tugging you in his wake. He did not speak, instead leading you to the small park that you had played in as children. It was late, with the last streaks of the sunset fading into darkness, and the stars beginning to peer out and twinkle above. He shrugged his bag off, letting go of your hand. You missed the warmth instantly, but remained silent, bidding him to say something. He took out a large blanket, throwing it onto the grass, and motioned for you to join him.

“Let’s lie down and relax a bit. You’ve been studying too much in the library these days,” Donghyun said carefully, giving you his arm as a headrest. You took it cautiously, praying silently that your head wasn’t heavy and that it would not cut off his blood circulation. The crickets were singing their songs, and you listened for awhile, enjoying the moment too much.

“You don’t like that guy right?” Donghyun finally interrupted. You turn to face him, blushing when you realized he was already staring intently at your face. You shook your head, sighing. If only he knew that it was him that you liked. He was protective, probably because you were close for such a long time. It made your heart flutter whenever he took care of you, but the emptiness that followed every time the label of, “friend” was placed on you hurt.

“Hyunbin is a classmate and friend. Sejeong likes him. I’m just a messenger pigeon.” He looks away, a deep exhale of his chest causing your head to sink slightly with it as you leaned into him. Despite it being late spring, it was still a little chilly at night. He readjusted for you, holding you closer.

“What do you think about them? Do you think that they’re soulmates?” Donghyun asked suddenly, and you hum in thought.

“I think that you don’t have to be romantically associated to be soulmates.” You said finally, and he nodded for a moment, peeking down at you and urging you to continue. “You have a soulmate, but that person is just someone who is compatible with you in every humanly way possible. And maybe the love of your life exists, too. They could be the same person, but it doesn’t have to be that way.” Silence relapses as you gaze up at the stars and Donghyun seems lost in his thoughts.

“I… like the thought of that. I want to find my soulmate.” He said. “Someone who’s there for me when I need them the most, and that I can get along with for a lifetime.”

“I’m probably your soulmate,” you whisper under your breath, and he tenses at your words. You felt dismay sink into your stomach. ‘How stupid are you? Can’t you think inside of your damn mind?’ He sat up, forcing you to sit up as well, unable to look at his face.

“You’re right! You are basically my soulmate!” He grinned broadly at this. “How could I have not known earlier?”

2015, age 17

“And… Done!” You stand back, admiring your dandy work while Woojin grinned into the mirror. You had dyed his hair into a bright red at his request, and it came out looking quite good.

“You’re actually amazing,” he said, offering a fist bump. “I definitely have to find a wife like you in the future.”

“Stop flirting with my soulmate if you two are staying at my house!” Donghyun chided childishly from his living room sofa, and he smiled at Woojin. “But yes, you’re right, ____ is amazing.” Woojin rolled his eyes, unable to stand the words his friend was saying, while Daehwi chuckled from the kitchen as he poured the freshly made popcorn into a bowl. You were hanging out, celebrating the end of another school year and welcoming the fact that you would be graduating soon.

“When is Taehyun coming home?” You ask as you sit beside Donghyun. Woojin scooted over to make more space, shaking his head in mock disapprovement when Donghyun wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“I heard he’s coming back next week. Didn’t we agree to go watch that new movie with him?” Woojin shrugged, texting into his phone, while Daehwi arrived with the popcorn, kernels already stuffed into his mouth.

“I think Daehwi and I have to go right now,” Woojin stuttered, staring at the screen. “Sejeong said she needs backup dancers for her cover contest submission.” You giggled as Daehwi stuffed more popcorn into his mouth, his eyes sullen at the thought of leaving the food, while Woojin grabbed a handful for himself.

“Thanks for the hair dye, ____. If hyung doesn’t treat you well, call us and we’ll come back.” You nod cheerfully, while Donghyun wrinkles his nose, shouting at them to lock the door on their way out. The house was silent again, the February snow dusting over the windows as the wind went along its merry way. Donghyun sighed, looking at you and pushing a few loose strands of hair from your face.

“I’ve been thinking.” He began, and you looked up at him. His dark eyes reflected the lighting in the room, and warmth filled them. His lips were quirked ever so slightly upwards, the beginnings of a somewhat demure smile. A small blush crept into your cheeks when you saw how beautiful he was.

“Y-yes?” You stuttered, unable to allow your gaze to rest on his face any longer. He withdrew his hand briefly, his lips pursed in thought.

“What are we?” He finally asked. A lump formed in your throat at the question. Honestly speaking, you were still saddened at the label, “friend”, and it was hard to keep track of the number of times someone would mistake you two as a couple. You almost would rather him stop saying that you two were friends, to let it slip, and to not break your heart a little more. Ever since the two of you were declared as best friends for life at the park, you were also two peas in a pod.

“What do you mean?”

“Well for one, this.” He gestured to his arm, which was still wrapped securely around your shoulders. “Two, do regular friends make their friends feel like third wheels all the time?” Your heart sank. Was this his way of warning you off? Had Donghyun finally found a girl to love?

“I suppose not.” You murmur, sitting up straighter to gently let his arm slide off. He pulled you back, a large but bashful smile suddenly erupting on his face.

“Then do you want to be my girlfriend?”


“That’s so sweet!” Sejeong fawned as she downed another shot of soju. Woojin and Daehwi looked mildly amused at their own obliviousness in the past, while Youngmin nodded along. “But if you guys were so good to each other, then how did you ever break up?”

We were both ambitious…”


2017, Age 19

You pinned your curled hair away from your face, checking your reflection in the mirror. It was Valentine’s Day, and the university year was almost over. Admittedly, you had struggled a lot more than you wanted to admit. Of course you and Donghyun were unfortunate and did not end up in the same university. His sights were set upon composition and music, and you fondly could remember all the night video cats in which he would gush about the compliments received for his newest pieces. You would listen to the gentle strum of his guitar, and did your best to encourage his dream of opening a studio and becoming a composer.

Donghyun naturally supported you in your pursuit to be a lawyer. He knew that you weren’t interested in criminal justice, but that you would rather help with real estate property. He sent vitamins when the weather got cold, reminded you daily that he loved you, but this was the first date in nearly a few months. Your universities were only 45 minutes away by bus, but your schedules were unwilling to allow you to meet. A nervous excitement bubbled in your stomach, and you hoped he found you pretty.

You had arranged to meet at a nearby Italian restaurant. When you were guided to your table, you felt your heart flip at Donghyun’s smile. He looked as handsome as ever, his eyes fixated on you with a large grin. Pride shone in his eyes as he stood up, embracing you. His suit jacket smelled of him, and all of your childhood memories erupted, causing your eyes to dampen with tears.

“What’s wrong, __?” His voice was laced with concern as he pulled away to examine your face. You shook your head, unable to say anything and simply mustered an embarrassed smile. He pulled your seat out for you, and laid the cloth napkin on your lap.

“I missed you a lot,” you finally manage, and his eyes glowed with fondness at your words.

“I did too. You look so beautiful today.” He said, and he glanced at the clock. “I hope you don’t mind that I ordered for you. I got your favorite, gnocchi.” You smile appreciatively at his choice.

“Do you remember when we first started dating?” He asked, and you nodded. Woojin and Daehwi were unaware, and Sejeong had merely assumed that it was the start of an intensified ‘some’ relationship. Your dates were casual: you would read your poems that you had tried to write for him, and he would be a personal jukebox with his guitar. You would study at the library together to make up for the load of school work to be done, applied for colleges together, and it was only after Donghyun had demanded to see your results before anyone else’s that people realized there was something there.

“Do you remember when Daehwi refused to talk to you for a week because we never told him?” You giggled as your food arrived. Donghyun laughed, shaking his head at the memory. Daehwi had been so offended for not being told of their relationship status. It was not just him; you and Donghyun had seen no need to actually share the information unless someone asked. Daehwi had simply never asked.

“Do you remember the only time you got angry, when that girl tried to ask for my number?” You huffed in disbelief at his words. There had been a girl the first week of university who had fallen head over heels for Donghyun. He has mentioned it in passing to you during a video chat, and you had immediately hung up, taking a bus to his campus and scowling at every other girl until it seemed evident that he was taken. He had found your jealousy endearing and adorable. The girl backed off fairly soon after your visits.

“Says you! I still remember you pulling me away from Hyunbin during high school,” you grumble around a mouthful of food, and he waved his fork in the air, rapidly chewing his food to reply.

“Because I couldn’t let another guy take my crush away! I can’t believe you didn’t know I liked you at the time.” You burst out laughing at this, but you also felt weary. It was only the first year of college– who knew how hard it would get as time went on? You had no doubt in his love or your own, but it pained you to see him push aside his time in the studio for you.

“I’ve loved you longer than you would ever know.” You said finally, and he crabbed your hand gently, giving it a squeeze.

“These feelings don’t fade easily.” He agreed, before putting his fork down. His plate was almost empty, but he looked tense. “____.” You look up, your eyes meeting his. You put your fork down, a pain in your chest as you already knew what was coming.

“I don’t like seeing you have to juggle time between me and school. I know how hard you work, and how much you want to do well to support your family.” He began, his eyes unable to meet yours. You flinched at the words. It was definitely not that the emotions that died. “I don’t like hearing from Sejeong that you can barely wake up for class because we went out and I was too insensitive to realize you had work.” You tried to protest, but his gaze silenced you. “I want you to do well, to do what you love.” A thick silence filled the room.

“We need time to focus on things outside of our love.” You said finally, and he looked pained at the words, despite the nod of his head. “You love me, and I love you. But you also love music. We aren’t at time where we can easily prioritize one for the other, but letting go of either seems a little risky.” He nodded again, a frown forming on his face. You wanted to hug him, to reassure him that it was not the end, but you could not find a way to do it.

“So what are we?” His question triggered memories of how you two had come to be, and you swallowed the lump that was suffocating you. How could the same question that brought you two together feel so wrong now?

“We are soulmates and we always will be. Remember that saying? If you love someone, let them go.”

“And if they come back, they’re forever yours. If they don’t they never were.” He finished. “This… it’s not a goodbye.” The waiter dropped off the check, which he grabbed before you could. You watched him, the tears in his eyes as he tried to mumble something about letting his lasting memory for you be as a gentleman, and your heart wrenched at the bitter laughter that came from him.

“Hey, Kim Donghyun.” He looked up. “If you keep waiting for me, then I’ll wait for you too.”


“And you just never talked since then? What the hell are you doing?” Youngmin burst out. You hold back a woeful smile, hoping your face did not look as miserable as you felt.

“It’s hard to. We stopped talking since that day. It isn’t hard to miss each other in a big place like Seoul.” Youngmin shook his head in disbelief, downing another shot. You followed his movement, a sigh forming from your lips.

“I miss you, Kim Donghyun.” You say, the words slightly slurring. Daehwi offered you a french fry, a sympathetic look shining from his eyes.

“___, it’s running late. Maybe you should go home if you’re getting a little drunk,” Woojin suggested quietly, and you nodded. Donghyun wouldn’t come, and you would scrape by another day. Yes, you were finally a lawyer. And yes, you made a story, something that relayed your own tale. But there was still and empty Donghyun shaped hole in your life, one that you had blockaded other males from attempting to fill.

“Do you need help?” Daehwi offered, standing up. You shook your head, motioning for him to sit back down.

“Enjoy yourselfs. I’ll grab a taxi. My apartment isn’t far anyways.” You got up, trying to pay for the orders, but Youngmin stopped you with a stern look.

“___, I’m the oldest here. Just get home safely.” You nod, accepting his kindness with a smile and leaving. You wrap your cardigan around yourself a little tighter, trying to ignore the breeze. It was almost fall, and Seoul was undoubtedly getting chillier earlier this year. For the first time in a while, you let yourself think about Kim Donghyun.

You missed him. You had written a journal with all of the words you wanted to say, explaining how your day was. You had taken polaroids by yourself, updates on your hairstyles and foods that you knew he would love. Every time you had crab stew, you would write your thoughts on how the restaurant had brought the flavors to life, or failed to, because you knew he would care and agree with you. You had cried into your pillow too many times, worn that threadbare hoodie he had left behind at your house in your last year of high school almost every day, and had stored all of the little love letters and music compositions he had gifted you in a box, stowed away in the corner of your closet. You had taken down all the photos of you two in your room, knowing it would be painful, but still peeked at them, admiring his youthful and bright smile. His smile. How much you missed it.

Perhaps it was the darkness and the alcohol, or the sullen energy draining depression that occurred as you thought more and more of him, but you could not even manage a look of surprise when you stumbled. You sighed, unable to force yourself to get up. Now, at age 25. A successful lawyer in a medium sized firm, a writer who was getting growing recognition, and utterly single. You had turned down too many possible relationships, many with good people too, for Donghyun. Donghyun, your childhood neighbor. Donghyun, your best friend. Donghyun, your first love, high school sweetheart, and soulmate.

“Excuse me, miss.” You flinch at the voice. It echoed within you, shaking your mind and playing with your emotions. It couldn’t be… “Are you okay?” You keep your gaze downwards, your hair framing your face and hiding it from view.

“I- I’m fine, thank you.” You wince at how it came out with a small sob, and you could hear him kneel down before you. You duck your head down even more, panic rising in your chest.

“Why are you crying, if you don’t mind me asking?” His scent wafted around you, and it tugged on your stomach violently. You remembered the afternoons where you could wait for him, falling asleep in his bed while he would run errands for his parents. It was the same scent.

“I’m… it’s just hard on me right now.” You stutter. A hand gently brushes your hair away, and he catches your gaze. Donghyun’s eyes are glittering under the dim streetlights, still loving and warm as always.

“___, it’s okay. I’m here now.” You burst into tears, the years of pent up emotions overflowing. Joy, confusion, bitterness, and love overwhelmed you as he pulled you into an embrace that you missed far too much, his hand stroking your hair gently as you tried to not wail into his shoulder.

“Donghyun.” You managed to cough up. He laughed a little, his gaze still fond as he pulled back to see your tear streaked and blotchy face. You were mortified that this was how he would see you for the first time in half a decade. His own eyes were watering, and they flitted over your face repeatedly, drawing in all the tiniest of details. The same eyes that you were looking for at your college graduation, but had to accept the disappointment of not seeing. The same eyes that you also had sought at your law school graduation, but had missed. And now here they were, on you.

“Hmm? You’ve grown so beautiful and strong. I’m proud of you.” He helped you up, is arms still embraced around you. You hiccup pathetically at his words. You had craved his approval more than anyone else’s. Your parents’ approval, nor Sejeong’s, could satiate the emptiness in you.

“How are you?” You burst out, and he chuckled, playing with your hair the way he used to when you were younger. He hummed in thought, as if to dissect what he should fill you in on. A pang of sadness hit you when you realized you truly hadn’t an idea of what he was up to.

“Well, I graduated with honors in composition and music theory. I went on to working and submitting my work for more recognition. I built a foundation for myself, got my own studio and workplace near the Han River. Do you know that song that Wanna One is singing for their reunion? I wrote that.” He said proudly, and a burst of pure happiness exploded in you. He made it. Kim Donghyun, the kid who would baby you since you were children, had finally accomplished his dream. Your separation paid off. The thought made you pale, and you felt fear grip you as you stiffened. He gave you a worried look.

“Are you okay?” His voice was gentle and urgent, his hands gripped tightly on your shoulders to keep you from moving. You lowered your gaze, clearing your throat awkwardly.

“Is there… another girl?” Your voice came out a little too sharp, something close to a trill. He was silent for a moment, and you could not bring yourself to glance at him. Panic began to bubble, and he finally pulled you in for a warm hug. You felt conflicted. Was this a goodbye? Was he actually going to reveal he was in a serious relationship? Was he-

“Dummy, do you think I would leave you?” His voice was tired, but there was love laced into every syllable. Comfort filled you immediately. “___, you’re my soulmate and the love of my life. Don’t count on it for a second that I would ever forget you.”

Sabine & her Mandalorian Heritage

Some thoughts on Sabine and her relation to her Mandalorian heritage:

I recall a couple years ago now when Sabine’s character was first announced and the initial backlash against her design occurred. Though the community that would complain about her armor/color choices/girliness/general “lack” of Mandalorian-ness/whatever-else-they-complain-about has largely diminished, I wanted to address the lingering negativity surrounding her character design and her being a Mandalorian, and why I think that way of thinking represents a very simple-minded understanding of her nuanced and very intentional representation, and how at the base of it, they are actually onto something when they try to say she isn’t a “real” Mandalorian. They just don’t know what.

Now, I’m a long-time Mandalorian fan. I’ve been into them since before The Clone Wars ever aired, when it was just Jango and Boba, and then when Karen Traviss’s novels began to expand on their culture and make it into what most people now associate them with. I’ve been part of the custom Mando costume community for like 8 years. I was there for the changes The Clone Wars brought, was angered by them like the next Mando fan, and later came to an understanding of how it all fits together. So I guess what I’m saying is, I am very invested in Mandalorians, in the tradition sense, and in their growing role in the new Star Wars canon.

With that established, I will staunchly defend Sabine’s characterization and her rightful designation as a Mandalorian.

Mandalorians are traditionally typecast as stoic, ruthless, pragmatic warriors. They’re rough, nomadic, disinterested in traditional beauty, and insular. Comparatively, Sabine has her quirks. She’s artsy, pink, interested in vanity (colors/styles her hair), loyal to a group outside of the Mandalorians (the Rebellion), her armor seems incomplete/mismatched/loudly painted/not Mandalorian in style, and she has a teenager’s attitude. People love to complain about it.

Now surprisingly, I will argue that, yes, they are correct: Sabine is these things. BUT, she is supposed to be. These characteristics conflict with traditional Mandalorians intentionally. And they make her a great character and absolutely still a Mandalorian, albeit one lost in an Imperial-controlled galaxy.

One need only understand where Sabine came from to suddenly understand why her quirks make sense, and why they exist: Sabine grew up on an Imperial Mandalore, where she was forced to attend the Imperial Academy. Being she was a  toddler when the Empire was born, one can assume that this means that every living memory Sabine has was from Imperial-occupied Mandalore. Though she is from Mandalore and her mother was a Mandalorian, Sabine was disallowed from growing up with her Mandalorian heritage untainted by Imperial influence. When Sabine finally fled the academy, she was for the first time ever in her life allowed to pursue her culture as she saw fit. Sabine is having to learn about her Mandalorian heritage as a Mandalorian who was displaced in the galaxy. She recognizes her culture, knows it when she sees it, but being forced to grow up as an Imperial, she’s had to learn it as something of an “outsider.” She is desperately trying to preserve a culture she  wasn’t fully able to even experience growing up in, hence her unique interpretations of what it is to be a Mandalorian, like the colorful, mismatched armor and the over-expression.

Now, I think this is extremely intentional: like much of Star Wars, it mirrors real-world social issues. Consider Native Americans who were ripped from their traditional cultures and forced to attend boarding schools, their young descendants who now struggle to hold on to their history, as their language is stolen from them and they try to keep alive traditions that they were never allowed to live or embody, but now must interpret from what is left. This is what Sabine is facing. She is trying to be the best Mandalorian she can be given the information she is able to lovingly scrounge from record, a history that was stolen from ever being second-nature to her. She is also a young, angry, talented, capable, expressive teenager. Her interpretation of what it is to be Mandalorian is bound to be new. It is bound to be different. And it is absolutely legitimate.

Originally posted by hotsam1

The show even acknowledges that the Mandalorians are split into disagreeing factions on how best to live their warrior heritage; every Mandalorian Sabine meets is initially or continually hostile toward her. They’re critical of her lifestyle and her claim to her heritage. Her parentage and loyalty are constantly questioned, her alliance with the Rebels is belittled, and she frequently has to defend her ways from Mandalorians and her Rebel allies alike.

Originally posted by meldy-arts

When Sabine encounters the Darksaber, there are undercurrents of a revelation. She KNOWS this is important. She just isn’t positive WHY yet, because she still only understands her heritage from a historical context. Where people once complained about Sabine’s sparse armor plating, her armor plate load-out now expands/fills in as the show progresses. She is still growing as a Mandalorian, learning what it means to her and for her, slowly piecing together her identity. Sabine is clearly the inheritor of the Mandalorian people; her taking the Darksaber will mean something important to come. She will play a pivotal role in the future of the Mandalorians. In a broken galaxy, where Mandalorians were already ripping themselves apart due to infighting (Death Watch vs. Pacifists, Protectors vs. Imperial Mandos), Sabine will be a leveler. She will be a critical part of what eventually rebuilds the culture, as sometimes only youth can be.

Originally posted by meldy-arts

So, Sabine is what she is. She is not a traditional Mandalorian, and that can be aggravating for someone wanting a very pure representation of a strict mold. But anyone who hates or dislikes a character for properly representing their intended role is silly, especially when the show literally addresses their concerns as the major growth arc for her character. Nobody should hate Tarkin because he is a ruthless, cunning man. They should love him for filling his role so perfectly. Sabine, in the same sense, is supposed to grate against the traditional sense of what a Mandalorian is. The galaxy is in turmoil. No one is allowed to be who they are meant to be. This is what the Rebellion is fighting for.

And by the way, Sabine IS a perfect example of a nomadic, adoptive, tough, combat-capable, merciless, jack-of-all-trades, family-oriented, child-warrior, mercenary Mandalorian with custom armor and a middle finger for authority. AND she wears pink. So there’s your Mandalorian for you.

/Writes essays deconstructing Star Wars characters for fun

Creepypasta #1266: Flight 893 Does Not Exist

Length: Medium

Hello, my name is Frederick Valentich and I’m on a flight to nowhere. Please don’t search for ‘Flight 893’, because that’s a number I made up. I’m not sure of the real number. I’m writing on here, because it’s preordained. This is the only site that will allow me entry. The reception is tricky, but after hundreds of ‘repeats’ I’ve narrowed it down to these few hours that I can manage a signal.

(I’m not sure what questions to ask or what details to offer)

Question One: What day is it?

I’m asking, because I don’t know how long I’ve been on this flight. I remember kissing my girlfriend goodbye before I left our apartment. I tripped over my cat on the way out. I got to the airport late, because a red corvette flipped along the highway and killed three people. From there, the rest is unclear. I don’t remember boarding. I remember being on the plane, but not boarding.

Question Two: Is there any theory about time remaining in an eternal loop that’s not based on the movie ‘Groundhog Day’? (What if time is a stream that’s flowing to an endpoint, but hits these rocks before it meets that end? Where does that water go? Would the water that left the stream dissipate at the same rate or end up trapped in an eternal loop?)

That brings us to several questions: What are these rocks? Where is the stream leading us? Why would anyone want to stop us from reaching this end? If they hit the rocks and escape the stream, where do they go? How long do we have to exist from the point that we left the stream?

Usually takeoff is the only thing I hate about flying. I can deal with turbulence. I expect it. 

I don’t expect to take off over and over again. I wake up at the point where the plane is hitting maximum acceleration and the wind guides it away from the tarmac. My stomach pulls into my seat right when I wake up. I remember to clench and breathe… hold on for dear life… because this is the one time in a million that the plane explodes. Something like that… maybe it flips onto one side and we all die in a fiery blaze. Maybe we hit something out of nowhere and tumble over along the coast. I can’t tell what’s supposed to happen, because the same thing has been happening over and over. I don’t know how many times this has happened, but it’s in the hundreds.

I don’t even remember where I was going. I’ve looked several times for a plane ticket, but I have none… maybe the attendant took it upon boarding. Still… there must be some evidence or memory of why I’m on this plane.

Have you ever had a nightmare so frequently that you know right when you fall asleep that it’s going to happen again? I’ve done anything I can think of to stop it. I’ve leapt out of the plane. I’ve killed passengers. I’ve been killed by flight marshals. I’ve done nearly everything I can to stop it, but it happens every time. The dream is meant to happen. It’s not meant to be stopped.

It’s the hours of waiting that kill me. We’re somewhere over one of the oceans. I think we took off from New York. There’s so much time in between take-off and the nightmare… I don’t know what’s real anymore.

When I see the spider, I know the nightmare has begun. It means that the dark lord has awoken from his own distorted reality. The spider crawls along the roof of the cabin. He starts fidgeting, moving his tiny legs rapidly, as if he’s spinning a web. He rips a minute hole in the cabin. I can’t see that it’s a hole, but it’s the only explanation I can come up with, because, for the moment, he disappears.

Only a second later, the stewardess walks to the front of the plane. She starts to talk and chokes on her words. It doesn’t take long for the spider to crawl out of her. She’s left on the ground, doubled-over with her tongue out, waiting for the spider to gingerly make its way out of her mouth. The spider dangles from a string. The poor girl cries and says something in her panic that doesn’t make sense. Everyone’s up, but nobody can do anything to stop her from crying.

She vomits hundreds of spiders. They scatter. Everyone screams. Hundreds of bodies flood the back of the plane. It shifts, lifting us to a higher elevation, as the nose pulls upward. We settle against the back of the plane and the scourge rains down upon us. Our eyes are closed, as we scream, feeling hundreds of tiny legs climbing all over our body. The spiders bite and I’m sure I’ve never felt anything so sharp. They make these noises, like hissing, but it’s an actual language. They’re clicking and hissing in some way to signal some directive to each other.

The spiders poke their way into our bodies. They climb down our mouths, slide into our ears and nostrils, pull up our eyelids and dig into our brains. They find any way to reach us, before we see the dark lord rising above the crowd. It happens every time, but every time I see him, his face is unfamiliar. Every time I see him it’s the first time. He assumes the form of so many.

He levitates above us with his arms raised, palms out to show his scars, as he spews the dreaded black flies that will help spread a new form of plague. They want us to be ‘Patient Zero’. He yawns and hundreds of black flies escape him. They sting, as they chew into our flesh, before we feel the change. I hear them buzzing, as they chew through my ears and swarm over my eyes until all that I see is black.

Someone spits and catches hundreds of flies in a web that splashes against the roof of the cabin. He realizes what he can do and spits again. He catches hundreds of flies against the ceiling of the cabin. The plane is still flying at an impossible vertical angle. The man climbs along the wall. His head twitches. He’s shaking, as he chews through the web and eats away the flies. Another person spits, catching hundreds more. The crowd loses its mind and climbs through the cabin, until every fly is consumed.

The cabin settles, but it can’t be. It can’t be. I don’t know what happened. Everyone goes back to their seats, as if nothing ever happened. The captain removes the ‘fasten seat-belt’ light and people stand up. A few make their way to the bathrooms. I see a man asking for a glass of water.

What has happened?

I’ve concluded from repeating this moment several times that God will not allow us to survive. If we survive, it means the Antichrist has found entry into our world. We have to die, but the loop won’t end. I don’t know how to end it.

Question Three: How do I end this?

Credits to: Sin_Crow_7 (story)

nbcnews.com
Gavin Grimm: Meet the boy Laverne Cox shouted out at Grammys
Gavin Grimm is a transgender teen whose fight for equality at his Virginia high school is taking him all the way to the Supreme Court.

You might’ve watched the Grammys this past weekend, where Laverne Cox told you to google “Gavin Grimm.”

Many obeyed, the hashtag #StandWithGavin rising to the top of the trending lists as his story began to circulate among popular consciousness.

Gavin is a transgender high school student in the state of Virginia who has had to attend board meetings filled with adults discussing his ability to utilize the school bathroom, many of whom reportedly cheered after hearing vulgar statements made about the teenager.

When the school board voted that he would not be able to use the boys bathroom, Gavin decided to sue.

He says: “I am fighting this fight because no kid should have to think so hard about performing a basic and private function of being alive. No kid struggling to be accepted, and struggling to accept themselves, should have to simultaneously battle for the right to use the correct bathroom. That is why I have come to this point. I hope that I will be one of the last kids that has to go through something like this, and I am going to do what I can to ensure that.”

Represented by the ACLU, Gavin will be headed to the Supreme Court, where the verdict will impact transgender individuals more broadly than bathroom rights – but to protections on the basis of sex interpreted to included gender identity. It will be the first time the Supreme Court will consider the question of whether transgender people are protected from discrimination.

Gavin’s case will extend beyond his final year of high school, but will determine if his name will be studied by students of history in the years to come, as a champion and defender of the trans community.

Seventeen Fanfic Recommendations

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Genre: 
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Pairing: meanie, jihan
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Pretty Boy Across The Hall (complete)
Pairing: jicheol, jihan, meanie
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Pizza and Other Cheesy Things (complete)
Pairing: jihan, meanie
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Pink Prodigy (ongoing)
Pairing: jicheol
Jihoon is an 18 year old boy who recently got invited to attend the most elite boarding school in the nation. He’s extremely talented and often takes to the internet to post his newest compositions under his popular alias, Woozi. 

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Code of Love (ongoing)
Pairing: jicheol, soonseok, meanie, jihan
In a dystopian world with little resources and biased system, Lee Jihoon (19) found himself struggling to live to his fullest, let alone to survive. He hated the fact that his wrist was engraved with a barcode of the 'Indigents’…..

Picture Perfect (ongoing, rate M)
Pairing: jigyu, jicheol, jeongcheol, gyuhan
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Gray (ongoing, rate M) 
Pairing: jigyu/hungyu
To Jihoon his life was, to put it in one word, boring. Boring job, boring days, boring nights, everything was just boring. If his life had to be a color it would be gray, dull and unexciting, no color whatsoever. He’s always wondered what it would be like to have some color in it… 

Autumn Serenade (ongoing)
Pairing: soonhoon, jicheol
That Soonyoung had forgotten every moment and love they shared, with ‘I love you too’ remained unsaid. 

A [Not] Love Story (ongoing)
Pairing: jicheol, soonhoon
Jihoon’s life wasn’t a love story nor was he its protagonist.

In The Summer (ongoing)
Pairing: jicheol
Jihoon didn’t want much in life. Really, he didn’t. All he wanted was to complete high school without any major difficulties, get accepted into a good university, and spend the rest of his life with a stable career. He also kinda wanted to know what it felt like to hold Seungcheol’s hand. But he had a whole Summer to worry about that.

만세!  (ongoing)
Pairing: jicheol, meanie, jihan, verkwan
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