Your fanfic is very good for a first attempt considering its not your first language. You should get better the more you write and practice your English. But the first chapter was okay for a start so don't feel disheartened. What's your native language if you don't mind me asking?
thank you for reading my fanfic.
Also,thanks for your comment on my english! I’ve been studying since I was fresh out of the womb 😂