attempt cool

random su “filler” episode ideas that might actually be constructive:

  • mayor dewey finds out that lapis is the one who stole the ocean. he marches to the barn and makes her do community service. lapis goes along with it for reasons probably involving steven, and finds out that she enjoys having something constructive to do which takes her mind off things. many fart jokes are made in the process of this discovery.
  • peridot finds ronaldo’s blog and becomes his biggest fan. when they meet, ronaldo reacts to the fact that a literal little green alien is a fan of his… interestingly. chaos probably ensues.
  • some wrestling bigshot is in town and sees the purple puma fighting. they offer to sign pp for a big contract, and amethyst is torn about whether or not to take the chance.
  • jasper, in her quest for a gem army, runs into the cool kids. this leads to her discovering the human concept of “cool” and attempting to emulate it. at some point she gets a new cape with spiked shoulder pads.
  • somehow, garnet is introduced to the concept of speedrunning. as it turns out, future vision has the tendency to turn one into a living tool-assisted speedrun, and she starts chasing the world record time for the crying breakfast friends tie-in video game. this proves useful later when expert reflexes are needed to defeat a corrupted gem that shows up… if the others can get garnet away from the game for five seconds.
  • while the main four are off fighting a gem somewhere, a monster shows up in beach city. connie, peridot, lapis and bismuth find themselves dealing with it as a back-up team of sorts. that’s why the people of this world believe in peridot, lapis lazuli, and bismuth… and connie! by the end of it connie has three alien big sisters, who are all vying for the title of the cool sister.
  • peridot decides that she wants new limb enhancers. bismuth and amethyst offer to help - bismuth putting it together, and amethyst getting the parts. the episode is told from the perspective of the other cast members who are trying to work out what the hell these three are doing with ten tablet pens, three toasters, multiple desk fans, a stack of laser tag equipment, connie’s collection of cyberpunk comics, and four potato batteries.

Guys I’ve been lying about who I am on the internet this whole time.

I’m not a “cool guy” like I act. I’m actually a huge nerd just acting aloof in an attempt to look cool

4

In which Frisk is a sweetheart.

This can be platonic I swear *sweats*

3

Drafts. The second one’s my wakfu huppermage <3
From twitter + insta

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The Signs as Jesus of Suburbia Lyrics
  • Aries: there's nothing wrong with me, this is how i'm supposed to be
  • Taurus: no one ever died for my sins in hell as far as i can tell, at least the ones i got away with
  • Gemini: are we demented or am i disturbed? the space that's in between insane and insecure
  • Cancer: city of the dead at the end of another lost highway, signs misleading to nowhere
  • Leo: home is where your heart is, but what a shame, cause everyone's heart doesn't beat the same
  • Virgo: i don't feel any shame, i won't apologize when there ain't nowhere you can go
  • Libra: to fall in love and fall in debt, to alcohol and cigarettes, and mary jane to keep me insane, doing someone else's cocaine
  • Scorpio: dearly beloved, are you listening? i can't remember a word that you were saying
  • Sagittarius: nobody's perfect and i stand accused, for lack of a better word and that's my best excuse
  • Capricorn: everyone is so full of shit, born and raised by hypocrites
  • Aquarius: i read the graffiti in the bathroom stall like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
  • Pisces: running away from pain when you've been victimized, tales from another broken home

If you were a teenager in the ‘90s, you probably remember Fight Club quite fondly as the counter-cultural classic that caused a generation to rebel against the mainstream by … going to see Fight Club. But watching it now, it’s hard not to see its flaws – like the fact that the bulk of the movie is about the trials and tribulations of being an affluent white guy whose central conflict is “I am dissatisfied with my comfortable lifestyle and well-paying office job during the economic boom years of the late 1990s.” And unusually for an anti-consumerist satire, this movie is filled to its grimy brim with product placement, including everything from Krispy Kreme to Starbucks and Pepsi.

So you’re an asshole for buying IKEA, but it’s cool to attempt to subliminally force your audience into craving brown sugar water? That’s like if An Inconvenient Truth was peppered with references to how super-cool ExxonMobil is.

7 Of Your Favorite Movies (That Aged F**king Horribly)

Squad T-Shirts! Dolls still doesn’t fully support the idea.
(But he does support the message. @syfy, PLEASE! I NEVER ASKED YOU ANYTHING)

Not Used to the Heat

This was a request I got. I hope you like it!

You and Newt were out in the jungle, searching for a beast that he was determined to find, one that everyone said had vanished, but he was sure was still alive. Pushing aside the flap of the special tent that Newt had, you fanned yourself, not used to the heat of the jungle. It was as if the air itself was full of water. Fanning yourself, you remembered the waterfall and the pool underneath it that you had seen earlier. Looking around and seeing no sign of Newt, you started hiking towards the waterfall. 

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