“i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au
“Honey, I’m home!” Stiles calls out as he wrestles his roll bag over their entry mat.
“That’s still not funny,” Scott says, without looking up from his textbook.
“Once again, we disagree.”
Scott snorts. “How was the trip?”
“Fine,” he says, plopping down right in the middle of the living room to start unpacking. “Typical conference. Some sessions were actually interesting, most were boring as shit.”
Scott hums, already absorbed again in his reading. Stiles reaches for the zipper on his suitcase but then freezes—this is definitely the same brand as his suitcase, but he doesn’t remember this extra zippered pocket on the top.
Stiles grimaces. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t my suitcase. Goddamn it.”
Scott finally looks up, frowning. “Shit, really? How’d you manage that?”
“It was a redeye,” Stiles says, running a hand through his hair. “I was exhausted, in fucking LaGuardia, and I was just trying to get out of there as fast as humanly possible.”
“Is there a name on it? Are you sure it’s not yours?”
“Pretty sure,” Stiles says, feeling around the sides for the pocket. He sighs when he pulls out the little card and sees that it’s blank. “Motherfucker. This is definitely not my suitcase because I’m actually smart enough to put my name on it.”
“Sorry, man,” Scott says sympathetically as Stiles falls back on the rug with an anguished groan.
“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
“Open it,” Scott suggests. “Maybe there’s something with their name on it.”
Stiles fiddles with the zipper. He’s nosy as hell, in general, and normally he’d be jumping at the chance to rifle through someone else’s personal belongings. But…
“What if there’s like, dead bodies in there or something?” he asks, and Scott just stares at him for a second. Stiles rolls his eyes—that’s a perfectly valid concern. Or maybe he watches too many police procedurals, whatever. “Okay, fine.”
Stiles holds his breath as he slowly unzips the suitcase, but nothing happens when he lets the top part flop back onto their crappy, threadbare rug. There’s a Dodgers hat on top, and Stiles grimaces. “Well, they have shitty taste in baseball teams.”
He sets the hat carefully aside and keeps digging. The person is neat, whoever they are, because everything is folded, and all the dirty clothes are even all contained in their own zippered bag. At first glance, there’s nothing too out of the ordinary—phone charger, American Gods, Calvin Klein briefs. Fancy, he thinks. There’s a monogrammed leather toiletry bag (DSH, he commits those initials to memory), and he pokes through it.
“I’m gonna make an educated guess that it’s a guy.”
“Why’s that?” Scott says, finally looking somewhat interested in this mystery.
Stiles holds up an electric razor. “And that he’s maybe not totally straight,” he says, brandishing a little bottle of lube that’s about three-quarters full.
Scott rolls his eyes. “Lots of people use lube.”
“Yeah, but do you travel with it?” Stiles counters, and Scott sighs.
“No,” he admits. “Did you find anything with his actual name on it?”
“Not yet,” Stiles says absently. He continues to rifle through the bag until he’s pretty sure he has his plan of attack. “Okay. I’m gonna find out who it is,” he says with a determined nod, and Scott frowns.
“How? This is New York City! There are literally millions of dudes here.”
“It’ll be like a real-life scavenger hunt,” Stiles says dreamily, ignoring Scott as he carefully lays his three chosen items out on the coffee table. “This is awesome.”
kaz. kaz has this been done before: top ten hottest publicity photos of yuuri?
10) An advertisement he did for a sports drink he sponsors
which was basically a sweaty post-practice Yuuri gulping from a bottle while wearing a thin white
shirt that had become very see through over the course of the photoshoot.
Viktor has multiple copies of this saved onto all his electronic devices
9) In reference to an old ask about Yuuri sponsoring KitKat
with the tag line being KitoKatsuki, Yuuri got the sponsorship just after his
Olympic win. The picture of him on the packaging was one of him holding up his
gold medal and smirking in a very smug, self-satisfied way and everyone universally
agreed it was way more attractive than it had any right to be
8) A publicity photo of him with his and Viktor’s new puppy
where he was dressed smart-casual and basically looking like the hot dad with
the cute dog at the parent-teacher conference that all the single mums fight
over at the school gates
7) The promotional photo of him in the ‘original’ Eros
costume before he started the season in chapter 11 (for reference the costume
looks like this)
6) A photo from a magazine that was following Yuuri through
a day of training which was of him in the ballet studio doing a split with one
leg on the floor and the other completely vertical by his head. It was the
moment people realised just how crazily flexible Yuuri was and that was
definitely a very popular revelation
5) A promotional photo for Yutopia with Yuuri looking like
he was just out of the hot springs standing at the front of the building with
his hair all wet and plastered to him and his face flushed with a towel round
his shoulders and only some very loose clothing on. The general consensus was
that the fact that photos weren’t allowed to be taken in the onsen itself was a
4) A promotional ad that both he and Viktor did promoting
gender neutral clothing. Yuuri ended up in heels and red lipstick and no-one on
the internet has ever recovered from it
3) A black and white photo that ended up plastered over
shopping centres everywhere advertising the ‘Eros’ cologne. It looked exactly
like you’d expect a cologne ad sponsored by an athlete to look and while Yuuri
thought it was really embarrassing everyone else on the planet was thanking
every deity they could think of that it existed.
2) A shot from the first shirtless photoshoot Yuuri ever did
that I mentioned in a previous top ten. He did it with Viktor and the most
famous photo of them ended up being one of Yuuri in the centre of the photo
doing the classic ‘sultry eyes’ look at the camera with Viktor standing behind him with his
arms wrapped around Yuuri’s chest and kissing his neck also looking directly at the
camera but with a very obvious ‘back off’ look in his eyes. It ended up on a lot of people’s
walls or under their pillows
1) A picture from a magazine spread about the two of them
that Viktor convinced Yuuri to do. It was taken in their apartment and the
photographer wanted a shot in their bedroom. Viktor kept teasing Yuuri about ‘showing
the world his true eros’ and Yuuri ended up playfully wrestling Viktor onto the
bed which changed its tone pretty fast and both of them completely forgot that the
photographer was there. The final picture was of Yuuri straddling Viktor and
pinning his arms above his head and smirking with both of them giving each
other serious bedroom eyes. All the comments on the article when it was
released were some form of ‘holy hell Viktor Nikiforov is a very lucky guy’ and
‘why the hell does Nikiforov even leave the house because if that were me I’d
never even leave the bed’.
List of thoughts jack probably had through the years about Eric Bittl
•oh but he actually wants to get better
•good at hockey but i started off calling him bittle I cant shorten his name now
•its cool that more people of the lgbt community are getting into hockey, or at least being open about their sexual preferences
•do you think he would want maple syrup from uncle? Or honey from uncle with bees? Ill ask (proceeds to get into hour conversation about honey vs maple syrup) uh… i still dont know
•(during the summer) uh i miss bittle. He was cute. I think i kinda like him in the romantic sense but maybe i just miss him too much. Even if i did like bittle, who can blame me. Also i shouldnt act on it, hes a teammate and friend and i cant ruin a freindship again this way
•bittle is really sweet
•bittle would make any boyfriend of his happy, like look at these pies and hes athletic so his legs look so good and his face is cute. I hope his future boyfriend treats him well or the SMH team will have something to say
•bittle looks so good for the camera hes like an angel. A little southern angel.
•senior year is a bit daunting but at least my friends are here and i have bitty’s pies. Im going to miss them. One step at a time though jack.
•i regret yelling at bittle last year its been a while and were friends now but i mean i can make up for it by taking him out for the sugar coffee he likes i suppose, no other reason for taking him out more than shitty
•his legs are so good (x500)
•aw he still isnt used to the cold here bits, my jacket.
•i want to kiss him. Oh wow what an impulsive thought jack keep it together youre probably horny and hes gay but hes a teammate. Hockey over ten minutes of pleasure as mom always says
•im gonna miss bittle i cant believe this is happening oh no… i would give up hockey playing to be by bittle for another year.. oh no i love him and i didnt tell him
•i love him so much
•bits looks so good in this kitchen.. and in my room…. and my living room…(etc)
•I LOVE HIM (x9999*10^9999999)
•should i buy him these butt shorts or send him a link- oh wait oh my god bitty butt
•im a bitty butt man
I have so many things I want to tell you, but I’m going to start with the most urgent. Because of all the ways I’ve seen athletic stories unfold over the years, this is the No. 1 destroyer of dreams.
You’re a young woman, but the sound of the word “woman” makes you cringe. Well-meaning coaches and parents and aunties and grannies and inappropriate uncles comment on the changing bodies of girls–not yours yet but those around you. It’s coming. You know it’s coming.
You notice what happens sometimes to female athletes. She hits puberty; her times get slower or plateau. She is confused; she is working harder than ever. Clueless adults who are overly invested in her “performance” will grieve, as if her worth is based solely on PRs. This makes you scared of growing up.
Seeing girls go through this is confusing because there is a story once told to you about running: “You get out what you put in.” You’ve heard there is a direct line between effort and improvement, between wanting it more and winning. This is a “truth” written by men, based on the experience of boys and men. Your male teammates are bathing in testosterone, a dramatic performance enhancer. You will not. You are about to bathe in different hormones, hormones that, more often than not, temporarily interrupt that promised straight line of improvement. What you need are knowledgeable coaches and parents who know how to support you during this time, to let you know it is normal, to celebrate you through development, who can zoom out on the big picture, because it is at this time that many girls give up.
You’ll see girls react to a changing body in three ways: give up, ride it out, or fight against it. With 100 percent confidence, I can tell you the best choice is to ride it out. The best is yet to come.
You will go on to race at a NCAA Division I university and watch several girls do whatever it takes to fight their changing bodies. But before you choose a school, you will go on visits. You will have meals with the teams and notice they do things differently. There is the school that has “salad with dressing on the side,” the school where everyone orders “no gluten and no dairy,” the school where the girls bring their own food from home to the restaurant… Go to the school where people order a variety of things: the burger, the chicken sandwich, the salad. Go to the school where you can order french fries and do it without shame.
Go to the school where the majority of girls look athletic and healthy, with hydrated muscles, and get their periods. Listen to how they talk about themselves–and one another. Listen to what they value.
Do they value effort or performance? What do they worry about openly? Fixations on their appearance? Or do they lift one another up to be good teammates and performers? Do they value themselves and one another by time and place and weight? Or by the whole package of who they are as people?
How do they treat the teammates who are struggling physically or mentally or psychologically? Do they isolate them? Talk behind their backs? Do they have empathy and compassion? Do they call one another up?
Like it or not Lauren, you are a woman. A strong one. Your body is at some point going to become what it is meant to be, based on a long line of strong women who have survived generations in a tough world. For most of the time, and in most cultures, what is happening to your body would be celebrated with ceremony. Women are powerful beyond your imagination. You cannot reach your power by making yourself small. And yet in competitive running, you will find yourself in a world in which you feel pressure to do just that.
Let me speak to the competitive dream chaser in you now.
You can be fast and a developed woman. In fact, you can only reach your ultimate potential if you let your body go through its changes. If you get to the dips and valleys and fight your body, starve your body, attempt to outsmart it, you will suffer. You will lose your period. You will get faster at first. And then you will get injured. And injured. And injured.
Depending on the methods you used to fight your body, you may end up destroying your relationship with food and sport for years to come. You won’t go this far, but you’ll see so many of your friends and teammates do this. In your age group, the mortality rate from anorexia is 12 times higher than any other cause of death. You will see some come close.
You will see this so much, fed by reckless coaches, fed by unhealthy team culture, fed by the desire for short-term success, that it will break your heart. It will break your heart so much that it will be difficult for you to watch many of the top high school and college races after you graduate. So many young athletes will reach out to you for help. You will learn how destructive and reckless so many coaches are, and you will want to find a way to change things.
I need you to know, I PROMISE you, that the ultimate star you are chasing is further ahead than any shiny thing you see now. The way you get there is to protect your health and protect your love of the sport above all, even as you reach for the shiny goals right in front of you. You simply do not know and cannot predict your personal path, but you’ll get there. It will look different and brighter and richer and more multi-faceted the closer you get.
I need you to know, you have always been more than a runner, more than your times, more than your state championships, more than your school records. But you will get confused. You will forget. Luckily you will have teammates and family and friends who remind you. You will go on to do almost every single thing you could have dreamed of, not in the way you imagined, not on the timeline you imagined.
And when you retire from being a pro runner after 12 years, you will be surprised at what ends up being most valuable to you. Your medals will be in a box somewhere, and you’ll never look at them. Your proudest accomplishment will be a race in which you finished last because in that race you were tested more than ever and you were brave.
Finishing seventh in the entire world in the 5K and having a bronze medal in cross country brings you a smile, the same smile as winning league with your team as a freshman in high school, the same smile as breaking 5:00 in the mile for the first time. The real life-changers, the memories that make the peach fuzz on your cheeks and the hairs on your forearms stand up, those will be braiding your teammates hair in the 15-passenger van on the way to a race; a random tempo run along a sidewalk past a gas station where you felt like you were flying while home on Christmas break; descending a forest trail at camp behind your best friend with your arms outstretched in flight; running at night with someone you are falling in love with; pushing your baby in a running stroller for the first time; passing under a canopy of trees temporarily blocking the rain on a cross country course you can’t remember the name of, the sound of your feet squelching in the mud while chasing your rival.
Protect the opportunity to make memories like those for a lifetime. You’re going to be OK being all of yourself. Make sure your teammates know it too.
(this wants with all its heart to be a multichapter fic but i need instant gratification sooo)
He likes to read.
He likes to read and Kent likes him, and he really doesn’t know what to do about this fact.
Kent ran into him – well, ran past him, really – on a morning jog, in a usually deserted area of the community park where trees have been planted and are carefully watered to give the appearance of a verdant, lush grove in the middle of sunny, dusty Nevada. He was standing against a tree and reading, and when Kent jogged back to ask what he was doing, the man laughed and pointed to his book. Walden.
Kent’s never read it. The man shrugs. “It’s about a man who gave up his whole life to go live in the woods,” he says. “I used to go to Walden Pond and re-read it once a summer. But now I’m here and, well… this is as close to the woods as I can get.”
His name is James. He’s a high school English teacher. He shakes Kent’s sweaty hand and asks his name, what he does for a living.
Kent blinks at him hard. “You…” he starts. He was about to say, you don’t know?
“Me? You do me?” James cracks a smile. “Is that a pick-up line?”
His smile is sunny, and Kent breaks a little bit inside. He finds himself quickly enough to say, “Would it work?”
❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜ ❛ idc (i do care) ❜ ❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜ ❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜ ❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜ ❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜ ❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜ ❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜ ❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜ ❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜ ❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜ ❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜ ❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜ ❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜ ❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜ ❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜ ❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜ ❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜ ❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜ ❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜ ❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜ ❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜ ❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜ ❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜ ❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜ ❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜ ❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜ ❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜ ❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜ ❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜ ❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜ ❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜ ❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜ ❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜ ❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜ ❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜ ❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜ ❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜ ❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜ ❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜ ❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜ ❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜ ❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜ ❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜ ❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜ ❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜ ❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜ ❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜ ❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜ ❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜ ❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜ ❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜ ❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜ ❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back ❜ ❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜ ❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜ ❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜ ❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜ ❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my way through life ❜ ❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜ ❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜ ❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜ ❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜ ❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜ ❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜ ❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜ ❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜ ❛ me? cancelled ❜ ❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜ ❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜ ❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜ ❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜ ❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜ ❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜ ❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜ ❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜ ❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜ ❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜ ❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜ ❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜ ❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜ ❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜ ❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜ ❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜ ❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜ ❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜ ❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜ ❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜ ❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜ ❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜ ❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜ ❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜ ❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜ ❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜ ❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜ ❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜ ❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜ ❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜ ❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜ ❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜
( you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2)
If Mars is in Aries, one is often attracted to a
strong, independent, and forthright partner, perhaps athletic in appearance,
but more importantly, direct, confident, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive
or shy lovers are not usually the most attractive lovers to these people, as
they tend to prefer strong and independent types. Partners who don’t beat
around the bush, who state what they want, and who display a certain level of
confidence are ideal.
If Mars is in Taurus, one is often attracted to lovers
who possess a stable, secure, and very strong aura about them.
Meat-and-potatoes types are definitely these people’s “cup of tea”.
Unstable, overly intellectual, or “flaky” lovers are simply not what
these people would define “real men/women”. These people like their lovers
simple to please, traditionally masculine/feminine, and strong. They often are
especially turned on by sexually simple but sensual lovers.
If Mars is in Gemini, intelligence ranks very
high on one’s list of ideal qualities in a partner. An athletic or tomboyish
look, sometimes on the slim side, is often preferred. Wittiness is a huge
turn-on for these people. Versatility, liveliness, and playfulness are
qualities in lovers that these people find devastatingly attractive. They’re
not especially impressed with what they might consider “less evolved”
types of lovers who display more typical, or traditional, masculine/feminine
traits. Depressed or boring types won’t do. These people want to be stimulated,
and their brains are their biggest sexual organs.
If Mars is in Cancer, one may prefer the
“sensitive type” of partner who is compassionate, sensitive, and
protective. These people sometimes are attracted to temperamental sorts,
finding moodiness in a partner rather intriguing. They want lovers with
“layers” (remember Shrek?). However, they are not into the type of
“sensitive” lovers that Mars in Pisces people are most attracted to.
In fact, they generally want lovers who are strong and traditionally masculine/feminine.
Generally, these people prefer lovers who are physically strong or at least
look that way - they love to feel protected.
If Mars is in Leo, one may be attracted to lovers
who are proud, outgoing, and perhaps even gaudy. Aloofness or a dignified,
confident aura is usually appealing to these people. These people are more
inclined to enjoy lovers who possess a rather bold, confident manner–and
style! Playfulness and fun are very important to these people, and the uptight
type or overly serious partner is not going to do it for them. Stinginess is a
huge turn-off, too. These people want their lovers generous, dignified, and
confident. These people do want their lovers to be a little possessive and
jealous, as it makes them feel more alive, wanted, and attractive.
If Mars is in Virgo, an appealing partner to one’s
is usually an understated, rather simple appearance without too much glamour or
ostentatiousness. Healthy, natural, and clean are most appealing physical
qualities, and a certain amount of intelligence as well as a modest, sensible
approach to life. These people are turned off by lovers who are overly
confident, bossy, or unkind. They are looking for perceptive lovers who are
kind and helpful. Competency is important, but these people aren’t big on lovers
who are show-offs. A quietly competent aura is best.
If Mars is in Libra, one is most attracted to lovers
with understated charm, good manners, and a pleasing and balanced appearance.
Coarseness or rudeness is often a turn-off, and so is independence! These people
prefer lovers who are cooperative and who are willing to please. Romantic lovers
are a huge turn-on, and these people truly appreciate classy sorts.
If Mars is in Scorpio, a complicated, dark,
powerful, and passionate partner is the biggest turn-on. One wants a partner with
“layers”- one who has depth and is complicated enough to intrigue them.
One is especially attracted to lovers who ooze sensuality, who are perhaps a
little dark and mysterious (even brooding), and who have a magnetic and
powerful aura. Intensity is a turn-on for these people - flighty, superficial,
and indifferent types need not apply! These people generally do enjoy a certain
level of possessiveness in a partner.
If Mars is in Sagittarius, one is most impressed
with a partner who is playful, fun, intelligent, and honest. An energetic,
happy aura in a partner is often most appealing. Joking around is a must, and a
huge turn-on for these people! They want to have a good time, and to have long
conversations with their lovers as well. They are not especially attracted to lovers
who are overly groomed; generally don’t like too much “decoration” or
lovers who put on airs. A tousled, casual appearance is just fine with
these people - in fact, it’s preferred. A partner’s status is not of huge
interest to these people - they are looking for honest partners whose egos
aren’t tied up in what they do for a living or how they look.
If Mars is in Capricorn, one is generally
attracted to competent lovers, perhaps well-established business types or
otherwise accomplished lovers. One doesn’t necessarily go for status, but one
does want a partner who has an aura of competence about them. One is looking
for a certain level of security, and is unimpressed with lovers who are
drifters, irresponsible, or flighty. A stable, directed partner with goals in
life and a responsible, even serious, attitude to life is important to this
If Mars is in Aquarius, one can be most
impressed by lovers who are somewhat unconventional or kooky in their choice of
clothes and overall style. One wants an interesting partner; they can certainly
be attractive, but boring? Hardly. A partner with a brain is important,
although one won’t be attracted to a brainy type. Somebody who is perceptive, a
little unconventional, and perhaps somewhat aloof is most attractive. Rigid or
boring types simply won’t do.
If Mars is in Pisces, one is often impressed
with a partner who is sensitive, compassionate, and intriguingly complicated.
Lacking in confidence is just fine, and so is a touch of helplessness. A
“starving artist” type may be appealing, or a partner who is
downtrodden in some way, as these people enjoy lovers who have a distinct soft
side. The strong, independent types are not turn-ons for these people.
you look important… or at least your suit does.
statements like that can get you into a lot of trouble around here.
make yourself comfortable, why don’t you.
you’re wasting your time. i haven’t seen him for 18 years.
if i had 15 minutes, we’d drink tea, eat biscuits; i’d talk, you’d laugh, and we’d be on our way.
are they still following us?
when you hear something that sounds like a gunshot, drive.
you can’t be serious.
excuse me dear, i just need to use your back door.
what’s that? it smells like feet.
how long was your prison sentence?
don’t ever make the calamitous error of mistaking my deliberate short-sightedness for blindness.
look at ‘em. merrily oblivious as we labor tirelessly to save them from extinction and not even a ‘thank-you.’
don’t kill your partner on your first day.
i’m sure you understand humiliation better than most.
my woman would never wear anything like that.
you can’t put a paco rabanne belt on a patou.
and remember… take it like a pussy.
not very good at this whole ‘subtlety’ thing, are you?
either you start to look like you know what you’re doing, or i’m out of here.
would you like a bigger glass?
no fun dancing by yourself; i need a partner.
don’t you make me put you over my knee.
so you don’t want to dance… but you do want to wrestle.
i like my women strong.
now we are engaged. again.
i am neither a goat, nor your sister, so… get your hands off me.
i’m okay, i think.
i’ve been on a diet, my dear. just caviar and champagne for three weeks.
you see, each one of us has a destiny… and i believe i can help you with yours.
you can see the future?
i can see us having lunch tomorrow. alone.
darling, time to go.
they had it coming.
you need to control your temper.
i think he’s an athletic, good-looking gazillionaire, who’s offered me a job and made advances towards me.
i quite like him.
i don’t know what you’re upset about, you’re not even my fiance!
the thing is… i work better alone.
i’m not leaving.
and what, exactly, did you do to him?
just shut up and watch me work.
it’s going to be okay.
i’ll be close by.
help yourself to a drink.
so sorry to keep you waiting.
i thought i was doing so well.
the fault doesn’t lie in your performance.
she seemed so innocent.
i’m so sorry i can’t stay to finish you off myself.
man has only two masters in this world, and their names are pain and fear.
i never thought i’d say this, but i’m actually quite pleased to see you.
it’s okay. i would have done exactly the same thing in your position.