atari cartridges

The digging up of the E.T. Atari cartridges is an ill omen of the Second Video Game Crash to come.
You should’ve have let it slumber.
Why did you awaken it?
Why didn’t you listen?

DAY 1398

Earlier this year, the Alamogordo Landfill in New Mexico announced that they’d excavated a shitload of Atari cartridges.

Why was this news? Because after years of Atari denying that they’d buried their poor-selling, ill-fated “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” cartridges,

there was finally physical evidence that it actually happened. 

Well, I already covered off on this back in August on DAY 1205. You can read why this incident got me all riled up. But as with most regrets, my rage plateaued & I moved onto more regrettable pastures. 

I think DAY 1206 was about the old fogey’s granddaughter in the eHarmony commercials.

Yeah, that’s how I roll around here. Atari one day, dating sites the next.

Anyhoo, the city of Alamogordo recently started selling their excavated games on eBay.

Okay, so I guess original games like this could fetch around $50 or so. It’s a part of history, right? A little crumpled, sure, but whatever. At least you get a certificate of authenticity with each one you buy, soooooooo…..

That’s right. A nice slip of paper on heavy stock, fully notarized by the city of Alamogordo, proving that you now officially own a piece of garbage from their landfill that’s been rotting away beneath diapers & tampons.

For 30 years.

Alamogordo even made sure to attach this disclaimer to it just to make sure everyone was clear on where these cartridges came from:

In the tiniest font imaginable. 

But I’m not faulting this New Mexico city of 31,000+ for this. Hell, good on them, I say. The vice-president of their historical society put it this way:

You go, Lewandowski. Mine that opportunity & just make sure the checks clear. This could be the gold rush that Alamogordo’s been waiting for.

What I ultimately regret is the fact that THIS MANY NABOBS would shell out THIS MUCH MONEY on something THIS WORTHLESS.

That’s not a typo. Whereas Warlords & Defender cartridges are asking $50, that tainted holy grail known as “E.T.” could fetch upwards of $500. 

The worse part is that there’s still eight days of bidding left. That $500 asking price could potentially double.

Or even triple. 

Look, nostalgia is nostalgia. It’s practically my middle name. It’s pretty much what Regret-A-Day is fucking built on.

I mean, spend your money on whatever you want. Who am I to judge? I just spent $30 on couture popcorn.

And at the end of the day, will it give me joy?

Maybe 30-year-old Atari cartridges covered in smegma will bring joy to the life of some sad individual out there. I REALLY shouldn’t harsh on his/her mellow. But I think it’s important to bring this up, nostalgia junkies.

Fundamentally, you’re not only paying over $500 for an Atari game that’s been covered in filth for the past 30 years,

you’re also paying over $500 for a game that’s been regarded as the epitome of video game filth for the past 30 years. 

I owned it.
I played it.
I know that for a fact.

So, while you’re scratching your head for hours, trying to navigate your way through a game that’s about as enjoyable as a root canal,

I’ll be enjoying something I actually love.

Your choice.

Idiots.

Watch on www.it8bit.com

“Atari: Game Over” Trailer

It’s here!! The official trailer for upcoming documentary about the ill-fated Atari E.T. cartridges was released today at San Diego Comic Con.

Coming this fall to Xbox.

via: Xbox