“I need feminism because... IV”
This next feminist is tired of hearing her classmates call their mothers “bitches”. I recognize this, but most times I’ve heard it from my male acquaintences I’ve agreed. For example, Sture’s stepmother is probably the real life evil stepmother who finished off her daughters, sold her soul and ate Fredrik II Oak’s heart (that’s Sture’s father) and then went on to command and bully Sture covering it up with “I care”. Then we have William, who in real life was adopted. He has never really used many bad words to describe her, it’s me as his friend who’s actively searching a precise word to describe this paranoid, stupid thing he still calls mother. His excuse seems to be “I can always come home”, when in reality, it’s like living with Miss Umbridge.
My Mother (I’ve probably mentioned this before), has luckily never been abusive in such a way that I would ever call her anything but my Mother since she has deserved that title. She dressed me until I wanted to dress myself, she has always made me food and tried to teach me how to do it on my own (which I yet can’t, damn you stove!) and it has never been a question on when I’ll be moving out or get a job. All of that I fixed on my own as I watched her get pushed, hit and called a whore and a bitch by my sister, Sara VII Palonen. She’s demanded the most expensive and trendy clothes there has ever been and when she haven’t gotten that, because my parents aren’t overly wealthy, she has used any means to achieve it no matter the consequences. This made my Father emotionally abandon her and today I’m assisting Mum to care for her, mostly because I don’t want to know what will happen to Mum if anything happens to Sara. I care far more about Mum than Dad apparantly does, Sara ran away to another town yesterday and didn’t even care to drive and get her back the morning after, while I both called the cops, my friends in the other town and Johanna today in order to get help.
Feminists speaking about how mothers are treated and addressed by men (as if there only is two genders) probably aren’t aware of how easy it is to become a mother. All you have to do is get pregnant and most people don’t care about the kid in actuality. If anyone had listened to William or Sture without assuming patriarchy is causing their mothers to treat them like shit, they might’ve not felt the way they do now. Sture barely wants anything to do with Mr Oak and William might be forced to move back to Ms Umbridge after a fight with his landlord, which is perfectly awful based on what he’ll be hearing when he gets there, solely because he’s a different child from what Ms Umbridge wanted him to be.
Just because you’re tired of hearing mothers whom you assume work, pay tax and argue ‘because they care’ with their sons from day to day, doesn’t mean it’s because of patriarchy. Maybe the guy is in fact venting out his suppressed feelings for a hopeless, depressing home situation where everyone tells him to be greatful for abuse “because it could’ve been worse, because they might’ve not even had a mother in the first place”. It’s equally unfair as Vernon Dursley’s sister telling Harry he should’ve been grateful for being brought up to be a house elf since he, in their eyes, was a freak for being born different as well.
It isn’t fair to assume things about someone you’ve never met. You can’t tell these guys off because they use bad words against their mothers. You don’t know them or what conditions they live in, it’s sexist to assume they should be grateful to their mothers because mothers are women.
I kinda understand though how this is irritating to listen to since I love my Mother, yet my feelings for my Mother doesn’t apply for my classmate’s experiences with their parents no matter the gender combinations. If it’s a friend or new acquaintance who says these things, I ask why they call them that and care about their memories, experiences and feelings. Just because they raised a child who’s good enough to be a friend of mine doesn’t mean they did performed greatly to make them happen.
Because I love Sture with all of my heart and because I care for William no matter his tough fascade, I, if anything, pity boys who has to call their mothers bitches in order to vent their may be horrible home conditions.