at-least-i-think-it's-funny

I imagine this is what was happening during the last five minutes of Supernatural. This is Totally Serious Business here. Also, this scene unfolded in my mind’s eye in Scout’s comic style, so… VERRA SEREUS BISNESS!

SCENE: Somewhere on a beach, probably in Hawaii

Chuck and Amara recline on lounge chairs, sipping fancy cocktails watching the sun set over the water. Various happy couples stroll past while Chuck basks in the fact that Amara is finally beginning to appreciate the wonder of creation with him.

Amara, meanwhile is feeling out her old bond with Dean, waiting to feel his surprise and happiness the moment he finds his mother. She hopes he’s pleased with her gift, now that she understands how much losing her had cost him throughout his life.

Amara suddenly sits bolt-upright in her chair. The shock of pain wasn’t what she’d been expecting to feel from Dean, but then she realizes she wasn’t feeling Dean’s reaction, but the far more tenuous connection through Dean to Cas.

She has a split second to wonder if Dean could feel it too, but then she feels his surprise. He’s found Mary, and is absolutely stunned. If he didn’t feel Castiel being banished, then she’ll just have to take care of this on her own.

All of this takes place in just a fraction of a second. She’s about to say something to Chuck, but then he sits up beside her, sloshing his drink down his front and then snapping himself dry.

“Me dammit,” Chuck shouts.

And Amara, for just a moment, wonders if he’s upset about his drink. But sadly, no.

“We haven’t even been gone two whole hours yet, and already those idiots are in trouble again.”

Amara and Chuck exchange glance, coming to a wordless understanding that would translate as, “I’ll handle the angel if you’ll take care of the moose man.” And then the poof away from their relaxing vacation.

Amara finds Cas swimming toward shore off the Galapagos Islands. She snaps him to the beach, dries him off, and as soon as he gets his bearings and realizes who it was who’d helped him, he tries to take a step back, suddenly very concerned that Dean’s sacrifice had been in vain. He trips over an iguana and lands on the sand on his back.

Amara helps him to his feet, and Cas warily accepts.

“What happened to Dean?” he asks. “If you’re still here, and the sun is fixed…”

“Dean found a better way,” Amara says. “My brother and I are reunited, and Dean has just been reunited with his mother.”

Cas’s face falls at this, because of course Dean would want to visit his mother in heaven. Amara sees this, and is confused.

“Did I not do the right thing? Bringing his mother back to him?”

“Back?” Cas asks. “You mean, Dean’s not dead?”

And then Amara realizes her critical error. She should’ve returned Dean to all of his family, because they had no way to know he’d survived.

“I think I may have arranged this poorly. I can fix it, though,” she mutters to herself, and then with a wave of her hand Cas finds himself standing in the woods with Mary and Dean.

“Cas?” Dean asks, turning from his mother to see the bewildered angel standing beside him.

And then he’s being swept up into another crushing hug from Cas.

“Gee, Cas. Two hugs in one day. This is some kinda record…”

BACK AT THE BUNKER:

Sam sees Cas whoosh away from this stranger’s banishing spell, and fumbles to reach the gun tucked into his waistband. He’s too late. The shock of finding an enemy in the bunker when it was supposed to be their home, was supposed to be safe, was just too much in his already compromised state.

And yeah, she’s an enemy, because anyone who introduces herself by banishing your friend and pulling a gun on you in your own home qualifies as an enemy.

He slowly advances on her, trying to make her see reason, or at least get close enough to make a grab for her gun. He doesn’t count on her actually being willing to shoot him… but she is.

She looks shocked about the fact too, but she looks even more shocked when the bullet stops in mid-air and just hangs there.

“I swear to me, Sam, I can’t leave you guys alone for five minutes. And here I’d just told your brother the world would be safe in your hands. And where is he anyway. I thought Amara sent him home.”

Chuck stares up at the ceiling as if it held all the answers, while Sam sidesteps out from in front of the bullet still hanging in the air in front of him. Lady Toni is just looking back and forth between the bullet and this new guy who popped in like it was nothing. Nothing is supposed to be able to breach the bunker’s wards, but here he is, defying centuries of Men of Letters scholarly pursuits and protections.

“Ah, I see,” Chuck says after a moment. “Dean’ll be here shortly with a little surprise for you.” He smiles at Sam, now in on the secret. “He’s out back in the woods. It’s a bit of a hike, but he’s got Cas with him now. That angel’s as good as a compass.”

“Dean’s alive?” Sam says, forgetting for a moment all about the bullet and the lady who just tried to kill him with it.

Chuck’s smile widens into a grin. “Yep, all’s right with the universe again. You have my word on it.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Toni cuts in. “Just who are you to make that kind of declaration?”

Sam stares at her for a moment, and then starts laughing so hard he can barely breathe. This entire situation is just too absurd.

“Oh, right, introductions!” Chuck says, extending a hand for Lady Toni to shake. “Pleased to meet you, Lady Toni Bevell, you can call me Chuck.”

“Chuck,” she replies skeptically. Instead of shaking his hand, she tries the angel banishing sigil again. Of course, nothing happens.

Chuck just grins at her and lowers his hand. “You can’t banish God with that little scribble.”

Toni looks at him in disbelief. “God. Are you telling me that you are God?”

Chuck just shrugs bashfully and then turns back to Sam. “Sorry to run out on you like this, but Amara’s waiting for me. We’ve got a dinner reservation in an hour in Honolulu.

“God needs dinner reservations?” Lady Toni sputters.

Chuck just shrugs, and then boops himself away leaving Sam cackling and Lady Toni absolutely baffled.

Okay, but

Compared to…

Come on, you know you can see it too!

Bonus: This would be Philinda

anonymous asked:

1. Nysara 2.(718):DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES

Cleaning out my drafts so I only have the one in here, and I found this old bit of the story, so I decided to finish it.1338 words, Nysara. Laurel and Sara watch a disaster unfold from a safe distance.  Rated PG.

Slow Night

They have brought beef again. And something from a pig.

That’s fine, Sara texted back. They don’t expect me to eat it. She stuck the phone back in the little waitressing apron and got back to work on the martinis table six had requested. It was a light night at work, which was why she’d felt confident she’d be able to make Felicity’s midnight barbecue on time. That wasn’t the issue.

The issue was that Nyssa had showed up to the midnight barbecue at 10 p.m.

And Sara loved her girlfriend, she really, really did. But sometimes Nyssa-Heir-to-the-Demon and Nyssa-Sara’s-girlfriend weren’t exactly the same person around Sara’s friends.

To prove it, there were already three new text messages on her phone when she checked again.

It’s disrespectful of them. Your food preferences are known. The only food you can eat here is a salad and the leaves do not look green enough for my ta [½]

ste. Someone should instruct the short one on how to purchase proper greens. This is disgraceful. I am not eating this salad. I will have a word with your ex about this. [2/2]

Sara furtively checked her other messages, half-expecting an aggravated note from Oliver or a silly emoticon from Felicity that might sum up how that particular exchange had gone. There was nothing but Nyssa’s third message.

Felicity Smoak has arrived and has brought some of those horrible vegan burgers that you like, so there is that.

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