at least you're not this guy

so i’m seeing all of your lovely selves today and most importantly seeing all of your ages and ……. idk guys i think it’s important for y'all to remember that there are children here?? i saw someone who was at least 13 y/o??? and if you’re like 18+ (but especially if you’re in your late twenties to thirties) remember that you’re in a community w children and they’re not your friends?? like …. there’s a fundamental difference in your maturity levels that makes it impossible to be friends w them in the same way you’re friends w people your age? it leaves too much room for manipulation, even if that manipulation may be unintentional ……

basically it’d be an inappropriate relationship if you’re like a 25+ chilling w someone who’s under 18…… if you’re an adult interacting w a minor be cautious and considerate and know when and where to draw the line??? the biggest priority should always be to keep minors feeling safe and comfortable and if you disregard that you’re nasty and that’s just the Tea™

♡ HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! ♡ (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Dear Strange Man on the Train,

At 11 o’clock at night, you moved across the train car to sit far too close to two girls about half your age so you could interrupt our conversation to tell us how pretty we are. We said thank you, have a good night, and went back to our conversation.

You interrupted us a second time to say that you didn’t want to bother us, but we needed to hear it, how pretty we are. We said cool, thanks, have a good night, and went back to our conversation.

You interrupted us a third time to say you wouldn’t say anything else, you didn’t want to bother us, you just had to let us know. We said have a good night, and went back to our conversation.

This seemed to perplex you. You came all that way across a train car to bestow upon us this life altering knowledge - the fact we were pretty - and all you got was a polite thank you? You grumbled about gratitude, about how you better not end up on facebook, were we putting you on facebook? Why was my friend looking at her phone? Was she putting you on facebook? All you’d done was tell us we were pretty.

At this point, my friend says, “Sir, we’re trying to have a conversation. Please don’t be disrespectful.”

This was when you got angry. Disrespectful? YOU? For taking the time out of your day to tell us we were pretty? Did we know we were pretty?

“Yes, we knew,” says my friend.

Well, that was the last straw. How dare we know we were pretty! Sure, you were allowed to tell us we were pretty, but we weren’t allowed to think it independently, without your permission! And if we had somehow already known - perhaps some other strange man had informed us earlier in the day - we certainly weren’t allowed to SAY it! Where did we get off, having confidence in ourselves? You wanted us to know we were pretty, sure, but only as a reward for good behavior. We were pretty when you gifted it upon us with your words, and not a moment before! You raged for a minute about how horrible we were for saying we thought we were pretty, how awful we turned out to be.

I took a page out of your book and interrupted you. “Sir, you said you wouldn’t say anything else, and then you kept talking,” I said. “You complimented us, we said thank you, and we don’t owe you anything else. It’s late, you’re a stranger, and I don’t want to talk to you. We’ve tried to disengage multiple times but you keep bothering us.”

At this point, our train pulled into the next stop. My friend suggested we leave, so we got up and went to the door.

Seeing your last chance, you lashed out with the killing blow. “I was wrong!” you shouted at us as we left, “You’re ugly! You’re both REALLY UGLY!”

Fortunately, since our worth as human beings is in no way dependent upon how physically attractive you find us, my friend and I were unharmed and continued on with our night. She walked home; I switched to the next train car and sat down.

So, strange man, I know you’re confused. I don’t know if you’ll think about anything I said to you, but I hope you do learn this: when you give someone something - a gift, a compliment, whatever - with stringent stipulations about how they respond to it, you are not giving anything. You are setting a trap. It is not as nice as you think it is.

But you’ll be happy to know that when I sat down in the next car, a strange man several seats over called, “Hey, pretty girl. Nice guitar. How was your concert?”

“Thanks. Good,” I said, then looked away and put on my headphones, the universal sign for ‘I’d like to be left alone.’

“Wow. Fine. Whatever. Fucking bitch,” he said.

the signs as Rick and Morty quotes
  • Aries: I've got about a thousand memories of your dumb little ass and about six of them are pleasant, the rest is annoying garbage!
  • Taurus: Get your shit together. Get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it's together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know? Take it to the Shit Store and sell it, or put it in a Shit Museum, I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together.
  • Gemini: Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe because I'm the smartest, and being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.
  • Cancer: Aw, man. I really liked this life. Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants.
  • Leo: Whatever you're asking, the answer is I'm amazing.
  • Virgo: What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?
  • Libra: Yeah sure, I mean, if you spend all day shuffling words around, you can make anything sound bad.
  • Scorpio: I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior. If I were you I wouldn't pull that thread.
  • Sagittarius: You gotta flip 'em off, I told them it means "peace among worlds", how hilarious is that!
  • Capricorn: Don't waste your brain on those weirdos... They just put you at the center of their lives because you're powerful, and then because they put you there, they want you to be less powerful.
  • Aquarius: Okay, well...sometimes science is more art than science. Lot of people don't get that.
  • Pisces: Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

I don’t know if ya’ll noticed, but during the interview at the Apple concert thingy, some guy in the back yelled “Oppa” to them and a few people laughed. Funny right?
Nah, because the boys were visibly uncomfortable. Especially Mark, Johnny, and Doyoung. Jaehyun and Yuta just smiled nervously kinda like ?? I know some of you people love to say random Korean words for whatever reason here on the internet.. Just PLEASE don’t do that in person, directly to idols! It’s annoying and cringy af like, I can only tolerate Koreaboos so much… Just Stop.

At the event this dude was saying “Oppa Mark!” too and Mark kept looking straight ahead. He was obviously freaked out  cause the dude sounded like a grown ass man and Mark is literally 17 (In Western Countries). At least, that time some people in the crowd told him to shut up.. Doyoung turned around to look at the guy, all wide eyed and probably wanted to say something (ya’ll know how protective he is over the younger members).

You weirdos need to really stop, it’s sad because these idols can’t even say anything back. They are kind of forced to be nice and to keep their mouth shut or else they’ll be labeled as rude. So, taking advantage of that is even more low.

musicals as history of the entire world, i guess quotes
  • hamilton: alexander the great. great idea. he was great. and now he's dead. alexander the dead.
  • the book of mormon: africa, please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you're still christian when you least expect.
  • heathers: now you can buy your way out of hell. that's bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that's a scam. fuck the church. here's 95 reasons why.
  • natasha, pierre, & the great comet of 1812: what if russia was big? move over, lithuania, here comes moscow.
  • dear evan hansen: this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying.
  • les mis: wait, who's in charge of france now?
  • be more chill: technology is about to go crazy!
  • spring awakening: you could make a reli- no, don't!
  • newsies: what's on the menu? communism!

Well this guy clearly doesn’t watch Doctor Who or he’d know that none of the doctors can park the tardis anyway because they always leave the brake on hence the tardis sound.

Heathers Characters as Things My Friends Have Texted Me
  • Veronica Sawyer: I wouldn't shoot anyone in the leg for $10 million
  • Jason Dean: I call it "passionate"
  • Heather Chandler: Well you're the queen. Ur sharp. 10/10 dodecahedron
  • Heather Duke: If you're going to be abducted at least have good songs to listen to
  • Heather McNamara: She is cute, and you are too, and together you guys are just these clouds of cuteness that everyone want to get together
  • Martha Dunnstock: I WANT A CAT PARROT AND A CUTE SCHOOLGIRL UNIFORM
  • Ram Sweeney: I chench my churst with a bottle of champagne
  • Kurt Kelly: what's a poison dart frog to yo momma's fat ass
Roommates With Draco Part Twelve
  • Part Twelve: When Narcissa wants to see Draco's apartment
  • Narcissa: Draco, what is Harry doing here?
  • Draco: He lives here
  • Narcissa: You live with a guy you hate?
  • Draco: Um, well, I was going to talk to you-
  • Narcissa: You're gay?
  • Draco: Wh- I'm not gay!
  • Narcissa: Does your girlfriend at least know?
  • Draco: I don't have a girlfriend...
  • Narcissa: Well I guess we know why
  • Teddy: *cries*
  • Narcissa: And you have a baby together
  • Draco: He's not my baby!
  • Harry: Actually, he's mine
  • Narcissa: Draco, the least you could do is adopt your gay lover's baby
  • Narcissa: I thought I raised you right
BBS As Things I've Heard At School
  • Vanoss : I may be very popular but honestly I am so socially scared of people the only reason they like me os cause I smile and nod quietly while inwardly screaming in fear.
  • Delirious : Honestly if I'm voted most likely to be a killer I wouldn't evn be surprised. I think they even said that about me in pre-school.
  • Moo : I have unfortunately become the mom friend and it has made me afraid of ever becoming a mother.
  • " You're a guy. "
  • And? Women are strong to deal with this bullshit! I can't handle you all I would clearly never be a good mother.
  • Terroriser : You know how most people want all eyes on them when walking into a room? I figured it out. Walk in and start doing really loud impressions!
  • Ohm : I feel I'm the friend who you have around so at least someone is semi-innocent in this massive pile of devil spawns.
  • Wildcat : I have no choice but to hang out with you all - I don't know how to make friends anymore!
  • Mini : You want to know what sucks?! Emily got nominated for Prom King over me. One, she's a girl! Not that there's a problem with the fact she's female but in this case there are two seperate places! And a third if anyone were agender. AND TWO! SHE DOESN'T EVEN ATTEND THIS SCHOOL!
  • Nogla : I'm not actually as dumb as I come off as. *misspells their name on a test* O-Okay well you see...I have...no...okay.
  • Lui : Take me back to kindergarden. Snacks, recess and snacks. Away from bullshit and lies.
  • Basically : I had this group of friends before. They only hung out with me to show "diversity" so they didn't come off as racist. That comment madee realize they were. Ditched their asses.
  • Scotty : Only once in my life have I ever...I mean ever! Won at a game! Monopoly, Life, Mario Kart...life in general...
  • Smiity : *after someone accidently steps on the back of their shoe* Yeah okay bitch. Get ready for that fucking restraining order on your ass!
  • Cartoonz : I have been compared to a southern satan before. I'm not sure which was more true. The fact that I'm very Southern. Or that I'm satan. *hisses and chokes on spit*

I keep seeing posts going around about how there were ‘no LGBT winners’ and how Andrew lost to a ‘straight white guy’ and it’s like

You mean to tell me that Gavin James Creel, LGBT activist and cofounder of LGBT group Broadway Impact who has been open about his homosexuality for nearly a decade and famously went out with Hamilton’s JGroff is actually just another straight guy???

Does he know this

Has anyone told him

Rumor
  • Minho: There's a rumor going around, you know.
  • You: What rumor?
  • Minho: Apparently there's this guy who really likes you but doesnt have the guts to tell you.
  • You: Who is it?
  • Minho: He'd kill me if I told you.
  • You: I thought we were best friends.
  • Minho: He's also one of my best friends.
  • You: Minho, you're only other best friends are Thomas, and Newt and it's definitely not one of them.
  • -
  • Thomas: Hey (Y/N), I heard about the guy who's in love with you.
  • You: Oh, so he's in love with me?
  • Newt: No he isnt.
  • You: Can't you shanks just admit that there is no guy. If there were, you'd at the least give me a name.
  • Thomas: Mm, no names. But you know him. *winks*
  • (walk away)
  • You: I know everyone in the bloody glade.
  • -
  • Minho: Do you want to know more about your secret admirer?
  • You: Not really.
  • Minho: And why not?
  • You: Because you shanks are playing with me.
  • -
  • Newt: You alright?
  • You: *laughs* Just doing my best to stay away from the boys and their secret admirer crap.
  • Newt: Don't think you have one?
  • You: Have you met the boys? Of course not. Besides if there were, I dont understand why he wouldn't talk to me.
  • Newt: Maybe he's afraid you won't like him back.
  • You: How will he ever know if he wont talk to me?
  • Newt: Give the shank a break, he's a shy one.
  • You: So you know him?
  • Newt: *under his breath* Better than you'd think.
  • -
  • You: The hints you gave me about the guy.. Are they true?
  • Minho: Yeah he's a shy dude, one of my best friends and won't shut up about you when you're not around.
  • You: I think I have a clue about who it is.
  • Minho: It's not all that hard to tell if your pay attention to the way he looks at you.
  • You: What if it's the guy I'm thinking of?
  • Minho: I think you know exactly who he is, (Y/N).
  • -
  • You: Guess what? I found out who the secret admirer is.
  • Newt: Oh..how?
  • You: Doesn't matter. Do you think now I know he'll grow a pair and ask me out?
  • Newt: If he does, will you say yes?
  • You: Only if he stops referring to himself in the third person.
  • Newt: Okay (Y/N), would you like to go out with me?
  • You: Y'know I always had a thing for boys with accents.
the moving goalposts.
  • trans woman: I'm a woman.
  • transmisogynist: No you're not, women dress femininely whereas men aren't pressured to wear makeup or maintain a feminine appearance.
  • trans woman: Well, I dress femininely, and I am pressured to wear makeup and maintain a feminine appearance as my failure to do so is punished with harassment and violence. So, do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, you're not a woman, women experience misogynistic oppression, like catcalling and gendered wage gap.
  • trans woman: I experience both of those things, people see me as a woman and mistreat me accordingly. So, do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, you're not a woman, woman is a biological class. You're a biological male.
  • trans woman: I'm on HRT, and my hormone levels are within the average range of cisgender women. I've undergone physical changes due to HRT that have made my physical body more similar to the average cis woman. So, do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, women have vaginas.
  • trans woman: I've undergone vaginoplasty. I have a functioning vagina, labia majora, labia minora, and clitoris. This is very personal, but, i can, in fact, orgasm. Do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, women have XX chromosomes. That's the REAL factor that determines our social role.
  • trans woman: So, are you seriously claiming that everyone goes around treating other people based on their chromosomes, a quality that can only be factually known by a medical test?
  • transmisogynist: Yes!
  • trans woman: But I've never gotten chromosomally tested. I don't ACTUALLY know what my chromosomes are. Have you ever gotten chromosomally tested?
  • transmisogynist: No, but–
  • trans woman: Then your argument is completely flawed. You know with certainty that you present as a woman, are seen as a woman, and are mistreated as a woman, but you believe that those things are totally disconnected? That, instead, your chromosomes are what people are really seeing when they look at you? That's completely preposterous.
  • transmisogynist: Well, what I really mean is, your birth assignment is what really counts, because that's when male socialization is initiated, which determines your entire mindset and outlook on the world, as well as how you treat other people.
  • trans woman: It is true that socialization influences how we view the world. But let me ask you a question, you are female-socialized, right?
  • transmisogynist: Damn right.
  • trans woman: And female socialization includes subservience to men, right?
  • transmisogynist: Yes, very much so. My parents were extremely traditionalist and imposed very strict gender roles on me as a child.
  • trans woman: But right now you're not subservient to men at all, right?
  • transmisogynist: Hell no. I'm a radical feminist, I'm a lesbian, I do not share the class interests of men and I work towards women's liberation from men as a class and, ultimately, the end of the restrictive system of gender.
  • trans woman: So, logically, this would be an example of how your gendered socialization DIDN'T control your outcome as a person. Sure, you had to actively resist that socialization, but you've moved past that.
  • transmisogynist: Yes, that's true, but the same can't be said about you, you're clearly male-socialized.
  • trans woman: Hell no. I'm a radical feminist, I'm a lesbian, I do not share the class interests of men and I work towards women's liberation from men as a class and, ultimately, the end of the restrictive system of gender.
  • transmisogynist: No, that's wrong! You can't be a lesbian, you're a male!
  • trans woman: Don't say that to my wife, she's gonna be pretty mad if you tell her she's not really a lesbian. She's been a lesbian for years, I seriously don't see how my gender is any different than the gender of her last girlfriend.
  • transmisogynist: You can't be a feminist, either! You're a male, there's no way you can understand the struggles of being a woman!
  • trans woman: Didn't you post one of my essays on gender on your facebook wall?
  • transmisogynist: Er, well, yes, but, that's before I knew that you were trans! See, this is more of your deceptive duplicitous behavior, concrete proof that you cannot overcome your male socialization or produce ideas that deserve consideration as contributions to feminism.
  • trans woman: But didn't you praise that shitty liberal Male Feminist guy's anti-transgender article?
  • transmisogynist: Yeah, but, at least he isn't calling himself a feminist, just a feminist Ally. So he's being honest and knowing his boundaries while helping feminism.
  • trans woman: And didn't you praise that conservative politician's proposed ban on transgender people being able to use the restroom? Why the hell would you ever side with a conservative? You realize that he's the same guy who has previously worked to defund women's healthcare services and repeal gay marriage? Supporting him in any capacity gives him political capital that he'll be able to leverage for future reactionary policies, because he is literally an anti-feminist politician.
  • transmisogynist: But he's one of the few politicians who's willing to stand up for a ban on transgender people in restrooms.
  • trans woman: Yeah, because he's an out-and-out bigot against LGBT people and women. He's literally creating legal contexts for male violence against transgender women, something that you've PREVIOUSLY stated you're opposed to, but now apparently you're for it.
  • transmisogynist: What male violence? It's just a legal protection for vulnerable women and girls in the sanctified space of the public bathroom.
  • trans woman: The male violence of police officers, prison guards, and prison inmates. That's the male violence that you're totally fine with exposing trans women to. If you really gave a shit about reduction of harm, you would support my right to use whatever PUBLIC RESTROOM I wanted, and support gender-neutral restrooms. After all, butch cis women have been harassed and gender-policed in restrooms in states where that law was in effect, and had security guards called on them. Isn't that a fucking travesty? I support butch women's right to use women's restrooms, and if you support trans bathroom bans, you DON'T. Cis and trans women share certain class interests, and often times if you work against trans women's' class interests, you're ultimately going to harm cis women's class interests as well. We suffer a wage gap too, which is why so many of us are FEMINISTS.

I’m seeing a lot of young transgender or non-binary people out there freaking out or going completely silent and removing all their info from their bios in light of the recent news in America. And I get that, I really, truly do.

But I also want you guys to know that it’s safe to come talk to me if you’re feeling pressured or scared or angry or whatever you’re feeling. If you’re comfortable with talking to me, go for it. :)

Secondly, if you’ve spoken to me about your gender for whatever reason, and are feeling scared about someone else finding out or you being being outed for any reason, please know that I will never reveal anything we have spoken about, anything you have sent to me or asked me about (as an anon or not) to anyone. What we discuss is private, and unless you give me permission to respond publicly or speak about it to others, it will stay between us. Always.

Online Gaming
  • America: heya guys, and thanks for coming to this new online game that me and C created!
  • England: 'Canada and I'.
  • America: fuck off. Anyways, so we made this game where we based the characters on everyone! We even have super cool moves and shit! And the point of the game is to fight each other until the enemy team dies! Let's start!
  • Canada: I'll be with Germany, Italy, and Japan to make it somewhat fair~
  • Japan: I'm ready- oh, they are us. Shall we choose ourselves?
  • Germany: I guess so.
  • England: okay, let's find the enemy team- oh, I see Italy.
  • Canada: Italy, how are you already there??
  • Italy: Gyaaahhhh!!
  • France: Let me get him with this move- what the??? Why are flowers surrounding me??
  • America: that's your fancy-francy dome shield. And my turn to get out my TRUE AMERICAN GUN!!
  • China: of course, and my weapons are wok and laddle...
  • Italy: Gyaaaaahhh! Germany, Japan, C... Canada, help me!!!
  • Canada: you forgot my name in the middle of-
  • Germany: I'm coming- what the?? I just grew twenty feet tall??
  • Canada: Germany you got your ultimate move already??
  • Japan: Germany, please, for me.
  • Germany: ... fine. SEID IHR DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER JAGER!!
  • Russia: whoah, is that cheating? Anyways, let me show you my ultimate that Estonia hacked for me- ...I became a circus bear... hahaha- I'm going to beat you America.
  • America: Ha, no friendly fire bitch!
  • England: America... WHY ARE MY SCONES GRENADES????
  • France: Hahaha! And my ultimate move is- *gasps* MAGICAL STRIKE-CHAN!! EAT MY BAD ECONOMIC SITUATION, GERMANY!
  • Japan: oh, my ultimate's up- ... I'm a harem protagonist... how is this an ultimate ability???
  • China: WHY IS MY ULTIMATE ME IN A MAID DRESS- aaand I'm throwing cheap-ass china plates at Italy... nice.
  • Italy: it hurrtttsss!!
  • England: haha, Italy we've got you cornered! Time to unleash my ultimate move- ... IM AN EYEBROW???
  • America: BWAHAHAHA!! Now for my ultimate move! AMERICAN EAGLE TO THE RESCUE!!
  • Canada: not if I've got anything to say~ Ultimate move; Canadian Hockey Gear ON! Hockey stick attack!
  • America: whoah! C, you're so OP! Guys, do something!
  • France: I'm on it~! MAGICAL FRANCE STRIKE!!
  • China: can I throw anything else but cheap-made Chinese products??
  • England: at least you're not an EYEBROW!! WHAT DO I EVEN BLOODY DO- wait... is it fucking complaining???
  • Germany: wait, does England's eyebrows complaining makes me lose health???
  • Japan: what an amazing ability. Meanwhile, I'm just here making people slower because I'm that dense of a harem protagonist.
  • Russia: I want to run America over with my unicycle but I can't. Estonia, hack.
  • Italy: ooh, I want to use my ultimate ability now!
  • Canada: wait, Italy-
  • Italy: Let's go~ ...I DIED???
  • Germany: *slams head on keyboard* you surrendered.
  • Italy: oh. Ca... Canada, America, why???
Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say
  • "Yeah, I just stuck him in the microwave."
  • "My friends and I have planned a murder for after school. Any tips?"
  • "You have another arm?" "Dude, everyone has two arms."
  • "It's simple, you just gag them and throw them in the trunk!"
  • "To heck with paleontology."
  • "Can you imagine if Velociraptors had wings?" "Well, actually-"
  • "Suh dude." "Same."
  • "Guard it with your life." "My knife?"
  • "First, you need have no life, Second, sell your soul to Adele."
  • "Feet; they're hands for your legs."
  • "Wow, those sure are some nice fish scales on your facial protrusions." "You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet."
  • "It's not even good garbage."
  • Teacher to the class: "Guys, I'm sorry but uh... my dog ate your homework." *Passes back chewed-up papers*
  • "Bros before toes."
  • "Woah, Dude, is that Harambe on your lock screen?" "Dude, that's my dog."
  • "Can you imagine just walking up to someone and slapping them in the face with a piece of meat?"
  • "Hey man, got any gum." "Nah dude, I'm about to kill myself." "I'm not sure how those are related, but okay."
  • "You're made of good dirt."
  • "Stop breathing so much."
  • "All my drawings look dead inside because I am dead inside."
  • "I didn't have lunch this morning."
  • "I have a strong desire to make dictators dance."
  • "Is this revenge for the octopus at the fair?"
  • "Embrace your inner childhood." "Embrace? You've got yours in a headlock!"
  • "Make sure you have Target popcorn at my funeral."
  • "And fill my coffin with glitter."
  • "I put the 'fun' in funeral."
  • "Oh my gosh, someone is going to get punched in the throat."
  • "I could do math in the time it's taking this light to change."
  • "We were both crying; it was fun."
  • "It's Halloween! Merry Christmas!...Wait."
  • "So like, if a centaur got arrested, would you handcuff its' legs?"
  • "Yeah, and I like the smell of farts."
  • "I stuffed your heart in my pencil bag, so I won't forget."
  • "Life sucks, but at least I have my Poptart."
  • "I want to build a mirror out of spoons."
  • "Joke's on you, I don't have a soul."
  • "Boy howdy do I like eating leaves off the ground."
  • "I'd rather be burnt toast than frozen bread."
  • "When I die, bury me in a Hefty bag... but make it a pretty color."
  • "I just got a great idea." "Dress up as Batman and beat up ____?"
  • "Plan B: Cry"
  • "Oh yeah, the guy with the head on his neck."
  • "I just choked on an oat."
  • "You're a substitute for a good friend."
  • "Dude, I once dropped a breakfast burrito on the garage floor, and I still ate it."
  • "We never go stale. Unlike our jokes."
  • "They speak American."
episode five gave us some gems
  • javi: oh my... fuck that!
  • javi: seriously? fuck you, helicopter!
  • -
  • pa: you're now my least favorite son, Javier.
  • javi: hey, he's the one who beat you!
  • pa: fine, it's a tie. i hate you both equally.
  • -
  • clementine: cut a walker open and cover yourself in their guts. then you can slip right through them.
  • javi: ew. please tell me you're kidding.
  • clementine: *shakes her head*
  • javi: i said please.
  • -
  • javi: oh this sucks, this sucks, this sucks, this sucks!
  • javi: do you literally eat shit, all day long? is that why you smell so bad?
  • -
  • javi: not that he said anything in particular to me but... you know the guy's got a mondo crush on you, right?
  • clementine: agh! he does not!
  • javi: oh my gosh, you got a crush on him, too!
  • clementine: I DO NOT.
  • javi: ah, you both have my blessing.
  • clementine: i'm gonna stab you with those scissors.
  • -
  • javi: aw, yuck!
Okay but an AU with the 13 Reasons Why boys having games night (with Taffy and Justlex)...
  • Alex: Why the hell do Jeff and Bryce keep winning? Their cards are rigged or some shit. Who the hell shuffled?
  • Tyler: Of course Bryce is gonna win cards against humanity
  • Monty: I swear Clay and Jeff keep exchanging cards- that's why Clay's in his lap, Jeff can cheat
  • Bryce: Maybe it's just because none of y'all's are funny, Zach and Clay might as well not even be playing
  • Zach: Yeah, well at least we're not relating all our answers to our boyfriends like Justin!
  • Justin: What? Just 'cause I'm gettin' some and you're not?
  • Clay and Jeff: Actually-
  • Tony: Guys! ...
  • Alex: Seriously, Justin?
  • Monty: Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Standall here, seriously?
  • Alex: Hey, don't agree with me
  • Justin: Don't agree with him
  • Tyler: Guys-
  • Everyone: Shut up!
  • Tyler: I was just gonna see if anyone wanted the last slice of pizza, but I guess it's mine
  • Clay: It's yours
  • Bryce: Look lets just go another round
  • Alex: Why? So you can kick our asses again
  • Bryce: Yep
  • Justin: I have a better idea
  • *Justin and Alex start making out*
  • Clay: Seriously Justin? Is it necessary for you to do that when we're all right here
  • *Justin gives Clay the finger*
  • Monty: This game sucks
  • *Monty throws his cards across table*
  • Tony: Agreed
  • Jeff: Mmm
  • Tyler: Yeah
  • Monty: I'm going to get a beer
  • Bryce: Fine, bunch of losers
  • *Bryce flips the table*
  • Jeff: Did he just-
  • Clay: *nods* He did
  • Zach: This is why we can't have nice things
Hetalia Countries As Random Spongebob Quotes pt. 2
  • N.Italy: MY LEG!
  • Germany:
  • Japan: Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby, secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secret, secretly
  • England: IT TOOK THREE DAYS TO MAKE THAT POTATO SALAD!!
  • America: You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.
  • France: I love you.
  • China: Well at least I still have my personality...
  • Russia: Do instruments of torture count?
  • Sweden: FINLAND.
  • Denmark: East? I thought you said Weast!
  • Norway: I hate all of you.
  • Finland: That’s his.....eager face. (referring to Sweden)
  • Iceland: I made it with my tears.
  • Belgium: CHOCOLAAAATTTEEEE!!!!
  • Netherlands: ME ONE MILLIONTH DOLLAR!
  • Greece: She's a purebred.
  • Turkey: How do you spell you're not my friend?
  • Cuba: HAHAHA THAT GUY GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A COCONUT!!!!
  • Canada: The door is locked...and the only way to get out is through.....THE PERFUME DEPARTMENT....
  • Australia: It's not just a boulder...IT'S A ROCK!
  • Austria: Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?
  • Prussia: Not until 4:00
  • Hungary: If I were to die right now of some sort of fiery explosion due to carelessness of a friend, well that would just be okay.
  • Estonia: Now that we’re men, we have facial hair!
  • Lithuania: Now that we’re men, we change our underwear!
  • Latvia: Hi. I'm very ugly
  • Romano: GO AWAY YOU DUMB, STUPID ANIMAL!