at least now i have a use for this blog.....

10 Reasons Not To Relapse:

1) Withdrawals. Those weren’t fun, were they?

2) The mental torture and anxiety of realizing the dope is almost out…

3) …and having to experience that feeling every single day.

4) Your freedom will be lost once again. The dope will be making all the decisions now, and it doesn’t care how its choices will destroy you.

5) Do you really want to lose your clean time? Even if it’s a day, so many people will never be able to achieve a day of sobriety.

6) Oh, but you might not get an opportunity to ever get clean again, because there’s a good chance you’ll O.D.

7) You’ll go back to the same lifestyle that brought you to get clean to begin with.

8) Think you feel shitty now? You’ll feel even shitter when you relapse.

9) Think of your worst drug run and double it: that’s what you’ll have to look forward to.

10) I may not know you personally, but I know you don’t deserve to relive the horror that is active addiction. You may question your worth, but let me be the one to tell you that you deserve SO MUCH BETTER than having a needle in your arm, powder in your nose, or toxin in your lungs.

Now, don’t be ashamed or feel hopeless if you relapsed, because relapse is a part of lot of people’s stories, including mine. Relapse doesn’t mean you can’t get clean again; in fact it’s a big incentive to say “fuck you addiction!” And try again!

** This post is for the addicts who are about to pick up. I just wanted to try to prevent at least one person’s relapse, because as many of us know, relapses are miserable. **

but first, some music

Some News that might be good

I know, yeah, you Might or might not be wondering: “Uh.. were’nt you gonna stay away from Tumblr, and move on in life?”

I was plainning to, as you can read in my apology and update posts from some weeks ago; but huh, I guess that wont be like it anymore.

I watched an old video of my favourite youtuber, DrossRotzank. The video is called “La gente Molesta de Youtube” (Youtube’s Annoying People) and its not in his channel anymore, I found it reuploaded by someone else. It made me think a lot about my own Internet experience, its not a lot different of what he described, and in his own terms, I lost the battle by letting those annoying people make me stop posting here, and even deleting my blogs.

Deleting my blogs made me lose all of my old drawings (or at least it made me lose track of em,, since I also ruinned my computer, with all my files, Im using my brother’s) And it made me lose what I had been building for so many time; A Fanbase around me and my art. . And by losing that, I lost the love and support of more than 30k people. I will have to start almost over again. At least I will try to not make the same mistakes I made when I started.

But I also learnt some good things when I was away, as my friends said, I needed a break, to think things out, and to get help. People who “hate” me seemed so many and so strong back then, but now I truly realize that theyre nothing compared to those who loved me.

So yeah, Hello!! I’m back from my Mental Rehabilitation, my Break, whatever,,

I dont think I’ll keep using this blog tho, since I made myself a new username and all, I dont want to waste it, so, I’ll just freely give it,

Keep reading


bean sprout moodboard 🎠🌱🍧

rules: put together a mood board using at least six images for the sim most associated with your blog (simself, legacy sim, character, etc.) and then tag more people to do it.

thank you for tagging me @suzychi-sims and @ceiuu​ 💘

i don’t really know who to tag cos i have seen so many ppl doing this/getting tagged already!!

alright looks like theres at least some interest in the jewish omgcp network!! if any of y’all have experience w coding/graphics (or with running networks i guess??) and are willing to lend a hand/mod i could definitely use some help running things.

i’m gonna make some tentative steps to get some things set up right now, but please keep spreading the word and letting me know if you’re interested!

right now, i’m thinking the network would be focused on helping people connect with other jewish fans (though i hesitate to make a list of jewish blogs public, so the list of members would likely only be available to other members), and at least one chat, probably on discord (possibly one for general chatting, and another specifically for talking jewish headcanons/other fanwork?) 

if theres anything else you’d like to see from the network, please let me know! i’m definitely open to ideas as this project is definitely still in its infancy!

Shit has kinda hit the fan and I need help

I never thought I’d be the one asking for help especially considering all the posts I see out there but I don’t know what to do. Part of me doesn’t wanna ask because I feel like my issue isn’t as bad compared to other people’s problems but I don’t know what else to do.

I’ve mentioned my money problems before but things started to look up. I got a roommate and so I was starting to pay off my bills. Slowly but I was doing it.

Then my computer just died. It won’t start up. I’ve been having trouble for a while now crashing at random times. Lately it’s been every 10 minutes but at least it started up. Besides the depression it was the main reason I haven’t been gifing.

I had been planning to replace it once is gotten out of debt but now I have no choice. I don’t have the money. So I’m asking for help. I’m trying to at least get enough for the down payment of the payment plan.

I thought about buying cheap or used but if I do that I’ll be forced to replace it again. I need this computer for school, for gifing, for this blog. My last computer has lasted me 10 years. I want that again. Aqua has been amazing taking over running the 100th episode event since without a computer I’m useless. I’m so sad that at this point I won’t be able to participate.

I know to some people a computer isn’t a reason to beg for help but for me it is. I use it for school, I use it to connected to everyone, it keeps me out of my own head my own thoughts. I have a support system through Tumblr. Through you guys. I don’t have many people but this fandom keeps me going when my depression is at its worse.

I don’t want to just accept money. I’d be grateful for sure but I want to also give back. Anyone who donates I’ll happily fill gif/graphic/icons/wallpapers requests for anyone who wants them. To anyone willing please help.

My PayPal account is

Anything will help, even just spreading the word.

anonymous asked:

I just relapsed after almost 4 years of not harming myself. I don't know who else to tell. I am so sad and so ashamed. I worked so hard 😭

I want you to understand something.

I know it took a lot of courage for you to come to me. to tell me. to admit it. 

I know the pain and sorrow and despair that drove you to it.

I know you feel alone and hopeless.

and all of that… is perfectly ok.

your feelings are valuable. important. and its okay.

I know why you did it. i understand it. and its okay.

but also understand this….

you dont have to do that. because you’re beautiful, and important… at least to me. if you’re reading my blog.. you mean something to me. if you gain even one ounce of improvement from what i write.. you are important to me. you matter. you mean something. and you dont have to do that to yourself.

you did what you thought was right for the time. theres no shame in that.

our mistakes are what make us grow. make us strong. unite us for a better tomorrow. Take the positives you learned from this and apply them to that future. throw everything else away… everything else doesnt matter.

its a new day now. a new chance. a new opportunity to take that one step forward. and you can… and you will… and i know these things.

you ARE strong… you have been and you will be. I have faith in you. I believe in you.

pick yourself up. get back to work. the road ahead is long… and I need you to be here. littles like you are what keep me going. keep me growing.. you… you help me. you are a great helper. 

and I am proud of you.

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry that people don't care about your blog as much anymore. You were definitely one of the most popular blogs of Outlander, especially of fanfic, but because your posting schedule got all wanky bc of real like, it is not so anymore, other fanfic writers came along and I am sorry. I still love your blog!

I think this is the most backhanded compliment I have ever received lol. First off, I am so glad other fanfic writers came along because now we have so much more than we ever did when I first created my blog about a year and a half ago.

I feel like you are a wee bit upset that I haven’t been updating and sent this passive aggressive anon. Or at least I think that’s what it is. I write and use this blog because it’s entertaining, not to win any contests. 

The Littlest Winchester

Part 1: Strangers (Supernatural fanfiction series)

~ Warnings: Non graphic child abuse minor character death cussing violence sadness cuddling angry Dean ~

Tommy ran out of his house at midnight. His little face covered in bruises and his eyes where blackened and full of tears. His father punished him again. All Tommy wanted was to take a brake from his chores. His dad started to beat and chase Tommy. This time Tommy started to push him trying to get him away from him. Tommy pushed him and the top of the stairs his father fell and tumbled down the steps braking his neck. Tommy got scared and ran in to the woods.

While in the woods Tommy saw what looked like two twins fighting.

In reality it was Dean fighting a shifter. Dean defeats the shifter killing it. Tommy climbs up a tree and hides.

Dean saw Tommy’s shadow go up the tree and knew he was young.

“Hey buddy it’s ok I won’t hurt you. Why don’t you come down and we can talk?” Dean asked softly.

“My name’s Tommy not Buddy. I am not supposed to talk to strangers.” Tommy said looking down.

Tommy I’m Dean. Now you can come down cause we ain’t strangers now.“ Dean said try not to laugh.

Tommy climbed down slowly and hugged Dean tight not saying anything. Dean could tell Tommy was only five or six. He was also hurt scared and hungry. Only reason Dean knew he was hungry was he heard Tommy’s grumble.

“Hey kido why don’t I take you some place to rest. Get you something to eat ?” Dean asked still hugging Tommy.

“W What kind of work do I need to do sir. Before I eat?” Tommy asked shaking.

Dean froze he wasn’t sure what to say. He never heard of such a thing. For a brief moment his eyes turned blood red with rage. How could anyone do this to a little boy. Or to anyone for that matter. Dean quickly hid his look of fury with a soft smile so not to scare the little boy. They stood there and hugged in silence.

A soft snow started to fall. Baby had a slight dusting on her hood. Made the old girl look pretty in the pale New Jersey moon light. Finally after a long awkward pause of nothing but hugging. Dean cleared his throat and spoke.

“Tommy you don’t have to do work for me. You’d be my guest and be able to play and have fun. I’ve got a little brother who would love to meet you. Also Cas who’s my special friend he’s very sweet and wouldn’t hurt you.” Dean said as he picked up the little kid.

He put the poor little kido in the backseat of baby. Got a blanket and pillow from her trunk. Dean tucked him in and watched as the little one fell asleep. Dean laid a soft little kiss on his for head. Then got in turned on a classic rock station to clear his head.

He pulled up to an old run down apartment building. Parks Baby in her spot. He gets out and picks up the sleeping little boy. Tommy wakes up half way and hugs his neck.

Dean carries him in and sets him on a kitchen chair. He fixes Tommy beanie weenies and a slice of apple pie. Dean watches as Tommy starts eating fast. Like he hasn’t ate in days.

It made Dean sick to think of someone starving a child. Even though he was very pissed he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to upset Tommy. Also Dean remembered not eating so his little brother Sammy could eat. So to see Tommy like that really tore him up inside. How could anyone do that to a kid.

“Hey there slow down or you’ll make yourself sick. After you eat that of your still hungry I’ll make you something else ok little one?” Dean said in a soft voice.

“Ok Dean thank you very much.” He smiles very brightly at Dean.

“I’ll be right back I have to use the bathroom.“He said as he walks to the bathroom and shuts the door.

Tommy finished eating he washed his plate and put it away. He was feeling very tired. So he looked for a bed to sleep in. Sam was sleep in his bed Tommy goes in his room. Climbs in the bed and cuddles close. Sam in his sleep hugs Tommy.

Dean sees this smiles and goes off to bed. Dean falls asleep smiling a little knowing at least for now Tommy is safe.

To be continued…..

————-favorite blogs—————————–
@not-natural-moose-and-squirrel @ninjastarautobot @supernatural-jackles @super-not-naturall @supernatural-squadd @impalaimagining @wayward-oneshots @castieltrash101 @dean-is-gay-for-the-trenchcoat @doomedbrothers @mishacrazyworld @thosesexytexasboys @supernaturally-stuff

@pie-not-cake-you-assbutt @littlest-bean

anonymous asked:

You have no obligation to provide free entertainment and I don't want to fuss, but could you at least post a little note on the comic's status, even if to announce that real life piled on and the comic is too much to handle? I appreciate the free art you've already given us, but leaving us hanging is kind of mean.

Sorry about that dude! I’ve been working on this comic almost every day, i also work now so that’s pushed Sabers’ progress back, but it’s one page away from being completely finished (Also cover page). 

It’s more that I update Twitter and my main Art Blog with news about Sabers more than I do here (which is ironic cause this is the Sabers tumblr lol). I tend to forget that this account exists, (mainly because the comic hasn’t been updating;;) The last page of chapter 5 is about to be colored, so that means in a week or two (hopefully), Sabers will update. I never intend to leave people hanging, and asking is ofc welcomed. I’m too passionate about this project to NOT say something, it’s just this account was forgotten in all this shit, and also I’ve been absent from Tumblr in general lately, but that’ll change when updates resume. 

If you want frequent updates from me, I strongly urge ya’ll to follow my Twitter, as I’m on it every day and I blabber about Sabers almost everyday. I even post comic wips whenever I’m working on it, so yeah. Sometimes I forget I do have other accounts that need to be updated and not everyone follows all the other accounts. So very sorry about that yall! 

Have some wips tho: 

The blog isn’t deactivated because of @frankiero-imagines. The blog got deleted because me and the other co-owner got into a fight and just a small part of that was about that blog but it was more about personal stuff. I told her to delete the account because there was no use to it anymore and so she did.

Only the day after I realised what happened. I lost something that was and still is very special to me.

It’s impossible to get the followers and all the fics back but I truly hope that at least I can have a part of it back. I cannot explain how much it hurts to lose it all. Not only the blog, but also a very special friendship.

I hope that whoever you are, you are willing to reblog this and help me regain what I once had. For now I’ll be trying to find all the fics we once wrote and I can assure you that that’s nearly impossible.

If you got this far, thank you so much for caring.


Am I heartless for not caring?
Have I turned into a monster?
You broke me, and now I’m not capable
of feeling anything.
I used to care with everything I had,
but you drained my heart of its goodness and
now I have nothing.
I am nothing but empty.
Nothing but tired.
So, go ahead.
Tell me you miss me.
Tell me you’re worried.
Tell me you’re in pain.
I can’t shed a single tear for you,
not anymore.
Maybe I’m a monster,
maybe I’m heartless,
but at least I’ve stopped hurting.
—  nothing left // c.r.h.
Embarking on a new journey

Hello Journaling junkie,

My name is ayele and one of my goals for the longest was to start journaling regularly but I always had trouble starting. the problem is that I never really have much to write about. Writing about my day doesn’t sound that appealing to me, at least not every single day. Plus most days, nothing that exciting is happening in my life anyways. But I recently created a Tumblr account and typed in the journaling tag and somehow I stumbled upon your blog and I was in love. I love how inspired I felt looking at all the cool journaling pages my fellow writers have done and that gave me the  push I needed to start daily journaling. The notebook I use now was only for my poetry and prose but I found that I wasn’t writing in it as much as I would like to because I don’t write poems everyday so it would sit on my shelf for months without me touching it. This is why I was so excited to find out that you do journal challenges monthly. I know I am way late into the month of April and I would have loved to start at the start of the month  like the rest of the writers on here but I think starting was a big enough deal for me. Although I’m only just starting today, I am very excited for the journey ahead. I can’t wait to do the one for tomorrow, and the others after that. I am excited to start this journey and I wanted to thank you for having this blog. It will improve my writing overtime, plus I can’t wait to show my journals to my kids one day. Thank you!

I hope you are having a great day :)

all the love,


ps. This is my blog link as you asked on top


Do you know what’s sad for me?

I love Katie McGrath. I’ve loved her since I first watched Merlin. She’s pretty much how I found out that I also like girls. THAT WAS SIX YEARS AGO. Katie McGrath is amazing and wonderful and when I heard she was going to be on Supergirl, I was so happy, because she was going to be a part of one of my favorite TV universes.

Now, I wish she hadn’t.

The Supergirl fandom is actually making me DISLIKE this beautiful, fantastic woman, because they keep using her to spew hate. I am such a Supercorp shipper. I think they have so much chemistry and if they became canon, I would absolutely swoon. 

But the Supercorp fandom, at least the parts I’ve seen, have become toxic. You know that hate war the Snowbarries and Westallens have been having? It’s sort of like that. Every Supercorp blog I follow spews hate over every other pairing with Kara, and it bums me out every time I go on my dashboard. I HATE GOING ON MY DASHBOARD NOW. 

It just frustrates me. This isn’t an attack on Supercorp, because, once again, I LOVE IT AND KATIE. But dudes, turn down the hate. If you don’t like a ship, don’t ship it, but don’t hate other people because a) they do or b) they don’t ship something you do. 


//I have come to a final decision: I’m going on hiatus. This means BB and Beep will not be available for interaction on tumblr.

During this time BB and Beep will not be staying at @ask-oldfashioned-bendy house and instead be at a private beach house for vacation time. This means people are welcome to ask OFB about BB and Beep but they are not physically around on their blog. Recently someone thought it would be “fun” to send a Chara to attack Beep on OFB’s blog and I wasn’t going to let that fly. Thus I’ve chosen to remove BB and Beep from tumblr until further notice.

I’ve already been stressed enough by irl things and on top of that, my friends here on tumblr are being harassed near daily. Their stress adds to my stress and I get mad at the anons and users that continue to harass my friends. It’s to a point that I cannot allow BB and Beep to be near that anymore. It’s affecting me emotionally and mentally in strong, negative ways.

BB and Beep are my go-to, cheer myself up muses. They’re supposed to be fun and enjoyable. But sadly things have turned sour here in the fandom and it’s driving me away. Suddenly I’m seeing my muses as being targets to attack and piss off my friends muses and that is alarming. Especially when I have never given anyone besides OFB mun consent to mention or use Beep/BB on their blogs.

I’m disappointed it has come to this, but at least I backed off on the desire to delete this blog completely. You can still catch me on my main BATIM blog, @dancing-duo  where I will be posting art.

Anyways that’s it. BB and Beep aren’t here right now and they are at a beach house far away from here. Please do not pester my friends with continuous mentions or asks about BB and Beep. The more people pester the longer it will be for me to return :/

Thank you for understanding <3

Hey everyone ! So I’ve had “skimmons” for a while now but I feel really guilty for not using it. It’s a v special url to me especially bc it’s so Gay™ and I hate doing this but I know there’s tons of skimmons fans who would actually use it so I’m giving it away !

- one reblog is one entry
- you can reblog/enter as many times as you want
- likes count
- only reblog from one blog
- don’t have to be following me but like at least check out my blog maybe you’ll like it
- please actually be a skimmons fan and don’t enter just for the sake of it
- if we’re mutuals I’ll double your entries bc ily guys

Giveaway ends June 15th. If you have any questions feel free to send me a message. Also, I have some urls for trading here if anyone is interested.

I’ll pick the winner on June 15th and on June 16th I’ll message them for details. That’s it ! Have fun.

11 Blogs I'm Unfollowing Immediately

[Disclaimer: Angry post. Sorry.]

Once in a while, I do a “spring cleaning” of social media by unfollowing a ton of stuff. Not things I disagree with (we need disagreeing points of view) and not because I’m better than anyone (my insecurity would immediately banish the thought), but because it’s simply better for my mental state. It’s never a hasty decision. But where I’m going, I can’t take every voice with me. If you must, please discern wisely to unfollow me, too.

Here are eleven kinds of blogs or social media I’ll be leaving behind.

1) Random pornographic images. I know that art can be made out of the body (most work by Michelangelo and da Vinci are floppy beige sketches of the human form), but maybe we can draw the line at exploitative objectification. Not to be prude-ish, but I’m a recovering porn addict, and a relapse would have me missing work. And yes, most pornography supports violent cycles of human trafficking, and I can’t endorse that.

2) Hypocrisy. If you market yourself as an “inspirational blogger” but do nothing but preach online and get into passive-aggressive religious arguments all day, bye. There’s a whole world outside that’s starving.

3) Suicide culture. Look, I’ve wrestled with depression my whole life. No one wants depression. If you glorify that stuff with memes and moody movie scenes (from movies you’ve never seen), you’re both diminishing a very real illness and feeding into it, and I have to question if you’re really suffering depression or you’re just trying to go viral.

4) Shaming your parents. I know there are some really awful parents, but “Screw them because they didn’t get me the iPhone I wanted last Christmas” surpasses my tolerance for privilege. Unless you’re a parent, you have little clue how much they’ve sacrificed for your best (and yes, they’re people too, and they’re going to mess up sometimes). My family grew up with nothing; I know how hard they struggled.

5) Entitled fandoms. You’re strangling creativity. You’re why screenplay writers won’t take risks. They don’t owe you anything. Let them finish their story, and then complain.

6) Reactionary bitterness. If your blog is obviously acting out of unresolved anger all the time, bye. Go solve that stuff in real life, not with your thumbs. (And I recognize the irony of posting an angry post about angry posts: except it’s more out of grief than anything.)

7) Contrarian. If you’re constantly the guy who says “Well what about—” you’re actually an important voice, as we need critical thinkers, but at some point the edgy backlash of finding microscopic flaws that starts with “Am I the only one who doesn’t—” gets desperately exhausting.

8) Hyper-religious overbearing inspirational Instagram preachers. Seriously, bye. Why should anyone listen to you? What makes you a credible authority on anything? And why are you yelling “lukewarm” all the time? Please join any number of charities at the ground level.

9) Anti-religious atheist-fundamentalists. Seriously, blocked. I get the whole not-believing-in-God thing (I was an atheist for a very long time), but yelling at Christians in shrill snarky videos is just petty. You’re basically Westboro Baptist Church but replaced the “God hates you” signs with “I hate everyone who disagrees.”

10) Anyone who emotionally blackmails me to get money. I get at least one message a month that says something like, “You owe me, I made you who you are, don’t try to think you’re too big for me now.” Like this one: (who by the way is still writing a bunch of “inspirational” stuff).

11) Dichotomous “Us vs. Them” rhetoric. If you can’t possibly make room and dialogue with the “other side,” politically or religiously or philosophically, you’re probably not mature enough to have a blog. If you can’t admit when you’ve been wrong or you only offer non-apologies, you have zero credibility for a platform. Go live a little, experience foreign cultures, admit where you need to grow, talk with people you’d normally never agree with, read different opinions. Please come back wiser.



Hello, my dears! If you haven’t noticed already, this blog has undergone a major makeover!! Formerly illuminested, now illustrans. I was a bit unhappy with how it looked before but I sincerely hope you all are okay with this change.

As you may know, this blog consists of reblogs and submissions. Because followers have been popping up right and left, I’d really like the chance, if you guys will let me, to reblog your works! Please feel free to submit here ♡ Also, for reblogs, you may use the hashtag #illustrans :) Illustrans is latin for illuminators, which you guys are mine, my illuminators that is. The literal definition is actually lightning (according to google translate at least). Thank you guys so much! Also feel free to leave me asks or prompts here! As always, keep smiling xoxo.


I was tagged by two lovely-sweet cup cakes @anthracite-camelies & @breadpanzombiebum​. Thank you guys!! And sorry for taking so looong to done this tag (I’m quiet having fun-riously to this one ✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌ )

ooukay.. Basically Idk what exactly am I doing with this tag, I’m pretty sure it’s related to the mood since the title said so^^

rules: put together a mood board using at least six images for the sim most associated with your blog (simself, legacy sim, character, etc.) and then tag more people to do it. {tips for making a moodboard here} 

Aaannddd.. I’m breaking the rules! Mwahahahahahah..! It suppose to be for a sim and using pictures, but hereee.. I made for my “Strange Century” series and using a gif.

————————————————————–  ❤️❤️

Now who should I tag? I’m afraid if I’ll disturb a busy bee ┐(‘~`;)┌

@lilytita, @tyrellsimsoficeandfire (hope y don’t mind for another tag, kkkk), @declarations-of-drama​, @acquiresimoleons​, @soloriya​, @andantezen​,  aaannd aall of you who’s seen this post & want to do this! yes YOU!  (σ≧▽≦)σ ❤️ *only do it if you want to do it*