at least it didnt get too many notes before i noticed

things maybe those other novelization posts missed

there’s been a couple of posts about the novelization highlights going around but whatever the world needs my thoughts right????

really just a rehash of my livetweeting sometimes direct copy and paste but whatever. LMAO THIS IS LIKE 5 PAGES LONG WELP SORRY FRIENDS. 

  • Even the excerpts from the rogue one novelization have not prepared me for the utter DRAMA that is cassian andor in this book omg
  • everything about bodhi rook made me cry. HE DOUBTS HIMSELF. THE ONLY THING HE’S SURE OF IS THAT HE’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
  • WHEN JYN IS AT THE LABOR CAMP JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR SHE’D “RUN OUT OF FRIENDS.” SHE WAS WAITING TO DIE. HER CELLMATE HAD EVEN SAID SHE WAS GOING TO KILL HER AND JYN WAS LIKE “eh, the fight will at least be entertaining. I’m pretty bored so”
  • Hi. Just wanted to let you know that after Cassian said like 10 words to Jyn, she was imagining them on a date.
  • Jyn also is careful to try and shield cassian from a blast in Jedha city like you know just for safety and stuff. And standing close to each other. SAFETY THO.
  • Cassian: I’m cold, I bet Jyn’s cold. I’m tired, she’s probably exhausted. She beat the shit out of those guys, IS SHE CONCUSSED? CHILL, BUD
  • the. entire. time.
  • cassian really cannot stop thinking about jyn and how she’s fucking up his job/mission/life AND YET
  • the thing is CASSIAN IS VERY GOOD AT HIS JOB AS AN INTELLIGENCE OFFICER. he’s wildly good at it. and he’s sharp. so smart. the book constantly shows him sifting through his mental catalog of info he’s VERY SMART AND VERY PROFICIENT AT HIS JOB

Keep reading

pt 3

[WARNING: PEER PRESSURE, BULLYING, FIGHTING, INTENDED NON CON, AND OTHER POSSIBLY TRIGGERING SUBJECTS. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION. (Also, sorry it took so long to get out, I forgot I was writing it)]

Felix pulled away with a large sigh as he unwrapped his arms from Sean,

“D'you forgive me?”

The blond nodded a little, feeling incredibly exposed with his face red and puffy, he looked at his and Sean’s shoes, avoiding eye contact. This was all insanely new to Felix. He didn’t show emotion. Ever. And if he did, it was only ever in church, to show his happiest praises to God. Everything else was supposed to be suppressed. It was what Felix was taught, and shown, and firmly scolded for whenever he forgot to suck up his tears, or keep a lid on his anger.

But now, the sniffling swede had let go of this momentarily. He had burst into big tears and sobbed quietly on Sean’s neck and shoulder as he embraced the other.

“I’m sorry,” Sean grabbed Fe’s chin and made him look up, dragging him close again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean all of that..”

Looking into this boy’s black lined eyes so close up was notable for Felix, to say the least. He felt so strange looking up at Sean, being touched so..gently, by him. Looking at this punk boy, you’d'nt guess in a million years that he’d be this soft with someone-anyone-especcially not a small church boy who he’d only first spoken to less than an hour and a half ago.

Sean’s thumb swiped over Fe’s cheek, drying the wet streaks that trailed the kid’s face.

“I was just a little upset. Not at you, just at the fact that you’re so-” Sean’s fingers pressed into Fe’s chin roughly for a moment,the irish boy looked out of focus, his eyebrows scrunching.

This boy was so close to him now.. Felix squirmed slightly, an uncomfortable burning feeling growing in his belly. Felix’s sweater vest was ruffling at the edges from Sean’s contact to it, and Felix wanted to pull away again, or get this weird feeling out of his belly, or quiet the aching in his hands to clench them as he began to notice how unkempt he was. He wanted to straighten himself again. Push down that stray hair he could feel tickling against his forhead, or the misplaced crease in his khakis. He wanted to pull away, away from this upperclassman, and walk home. Felix just wanted to feel okay, but how could he if he was so overwhelmingly near this kid? While at the same time, being so comtempt as he studied this kid’s features while their bodies touched. It felt strange to consider himself calm as fingers pressed harder into his skin by this senior. This secular boy, with his green hair, and his dark peircings, and his tight fitting clothes, and fingers digging into Fe’s cheeks a little too hard. But somehow, he was..

“Ow, Sean-“ Fe mumbled, scrunching his brows together. “Can you-”

Sean seemed to focus again and cleared his throat, immediately letting go of Fe’s face and pushing himself away subtly.

“Sorry.”

Felix rubbed at the spots the punk boy’s fingers had pressed into, frowning slightly as he stepped back as well.

“I accept your apology.” He mumbled, taking a deep breath as the tight chested feeling of crying left him fully.

“Look, I still wanted to..” Sean sighed and cleared his throat again as he straightened up, putting his hands in his pockets. “Y'know. Whatever.”

“Afraid I don’t.” Fe responded, studying Sean’s stance, which portrayed that he was uncomfortable. Felix noted it as strange. Sean, the non chalant, unimpressible, seemingly unemotional kid in the entire school, was uncomfortable?

It was incredible to witness first hand such nurturing behavior Felix had just a minute ago, and this just added to it!

“Well, before your little breakdown, ” Sean shifted from one foot to the other as he looked down at the leaves littering the woods floor. “I was supposed to be taking you to this place,”

“A ‘demonic mating ritual.’, if i remember correctly?” Felix let his hands slide down, crossing his arms as he continued to eye the senior.

“Right. That.” Sean looked up at Felix, smirking ever so slightly, a small exhale rather than a full laugh escaping his lips.

The swedish kid’s heart felt as though it had jumped to his throat, a wave of cold spreading through his belly. He looked down as quickly as they had made eye contact.

Felix had never been very good with eye contact.. He’d always been scolded for it, by his mother, or by a church gaurdian. ‘Only liars don’t look people in the eyes.’ Or, ‘Don’t you realize how rude that is?’ Or ‘Give full attention, or none at all.’

Felix was never very good with telling the truth at times, but he wasn’t a liar. He was obediant.

Felix was never very good at being respectful either, but he never tried purposefully to be rude. He was obediant.

Felix had also never had a very good attention span either, to be truthful. Whenever he sat still, his bones ached, and his muscles went weird, and he had to move, or else those things would get too intense for him to handle. He was always at least slightly stressed out, but only because he always tried so hard to be attentive. Because he was obediant.

His whole life was obediance. He was taught it since forever, and it was all he knew. And to be disobediant-or rebellious-like this..this sinner which stood a few feet across from him- was -lord forgive him-God awful and damned to be.

And now Felix- the obediant, church going schoolboy-who listened to his mother and father with every sense of his being-who sat through 3 hours of bible study, and church time, and worship, and sunday schools- who was taught to never question anything-dare he be tempted by the devil himself and stray from the Holy Lord-was standing right next to one of the devil’s workers.

And he was discussing things like orgasms, and heresy in the church, and emotions, and shacks in the middle of the woods, and urges, and demonic *mating* rituals-whatever that meant.

What was he doing? Why was he even here? Why had Felix come here, with this secular upperclassman especcially? He shouldn’t be here, and he knew it. He’d just had a ‘breakdown’ -as Sean had put it- over this exact situation! And yet, he was still here, with Sean. Why?

“Felix, jesus fucking christ, snap the fuck out of it dude.”

Felix let out a breath he didnt realize he’d been holding. He swallowed down a cringe that threatened to creep theough his limbs as he heard so many filthy slurs come out of this kid’s mouth.

“How often do you do that shit?”

“Excuse me..?” Felix clenched his teeth and ground them together. This boy seemed to never stop.

“That thing-that weird, like, zone out thing.” Sean gestured toward Felix with a wave of his hand, a scowl on his face as though he’d been embarrassed.

“I..” Felix scrunched his brow, darting his eyes up here and there to make sure Sean wasn’t angry at him. “I’m not sure. I didn’t realize I was doing it. Sorry.”

“Gah, and that too!” The green haired kid rolled his eyes, sighing. “You always apologize. Why do you do that?”

“I-I’m- ” Fe pressed his nails into his bicep slightly, trying not to flinch at the harshly annoyed tone in Sean’s voice. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you know anything about yourself, kid?” Sean scoffed with a slight smile, grabbing Fe’s sleeve with a yank, a quick shove to Fe’s shoulder to make him start walking again.

Fe’s eyes stayed to the ground, studying the roots they walked past, trying to distract himself from the ruffled feeling of his now stretched out sweater sleeve, or the heat from Sean’s palm gathered at his shoulder blade.

“Are we going to..”

“Speak up,” Sean sneered slightly, not looking away from his eyes on the path they were travelling down. “You’re mumbling.”

“Um, ” Felix cleared his throat a little, his voice cracking slightly. “What’s this place like?”

“What?”

“The-um..the demonic..mating thing..”

Sean huffed out a chuckle, his teeth apparent from his wide grin.

“It’s not actually demonic, dude.”

“Oh,” Felix sighed, or let out a breath close to a sigh as he could get, being that he was becoming out of breath from their trekking already. “Well, what is it then?”

Sean glanced at Fe half heartedly, casually studying the swedish kid’s face. He smirked a little, turning his head to focus on not tripping over a tendril splayed across the path.

“It’s a party.” He stated, a small grin on his face. “You ever been to a party?”

“Do birthday parties count?” Felix asked innocently.

Sean rolled his eyes, his grin growing a bit. “Dunno why I asked.”

Felix examined the kid’s teeth, noting that they were fairly white, and sharp. His canines were long, and distinctive, nearly hooking over Sean’s bottom lip as he smiled.

“Who all will be attending the party?” Fe quizzed half mindedly, studying the rest of the green haired kid’s face.

“Shouldn’t be too many people there since it’s Pj’s place .” The irish kid shrugged non chalantly. “A few kids from all over the school. He doesn’t really like everybody in his house.”

“What about the football team..?”

“Like…the whole team?”

Felix shrugged, his heart quickening slightly at the thought of some of his bullies attending.

“Maybe.”

Sean looked over at Fe quickly, seemingly aware of Fe’s sudden change to quiet demeanour.

“Maybe not, though- I don’t know. It’s just a few kids from around the school, like I said.” His grip on Felix’s shoulder tightened.

Fe looked up gratefully for the grounding touch. He was getting that feeling in his belly again.. The posibility of any person from the football team being in the same place as Felix was unnerving. Vague memories of toilet water entered Fe’s mind, and he scowled.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sean glanced at the blond again, his hand squeezing firmly, a soft, closed mouth smile on his face.

Fe sighed, focusing back on the ground, his fingers figeting with the hem of his shirt.


They reached a road by late evening, the sun well past the ridge of the sky. They’d gone down a quiet block, only a few dim street lamps lighting the broken asphalt. Felix looked to his left, then to his right, searching for a house that seemed party deemable.

“Here.”

This is it?”

They stood in the yard of a fairly quiet, two story house, a few lights on in the second floor.

“Yeah.”

Felix shook his head slightly, letting out a breath.

“What?” Sean huffed out amusedly.

“I just..” Felix began, his eyes scrunched loosely as he continued to eye the building. “I thought it’d be louder. Or at least more, eh..”

“Party-lookin’?”

“I guess so.” Felix shrugged, grabbing hold of Sean’s shirt as they stepped up to the door.

The punk boy knocked on the door firmly, stepping back as a bit of shuffling was heard on the other side.

Fe’s clutch on Sean tightened as the door opened slowly. He warily eyed a tall kid in the frame. He was lanky, and slender, with skinny jeans and brunette curly hair.

“Sup,” The kid nodded at Sean, leaning against the frame of the door, blocking it casually.

“Let us in, Pj.” Sean rolled his eyes.

“Us?” Pj raised a brow, his eyes scanning Fe.

“Yeah. Us.” Sean tapped his foot.

“You know the password?” Pj teased with a smirk, winking at the blond clinging to Sean stiffly.

“Fuck off,” Sean pushed past the tall brunette, Fe shuffling past as well.

There were barely any people on this level of the house. One or two girls in shorts or skirts sat on the couches with red plastic cups in their hands, chatting to each other quietly. A stray drunken boy, who looked barely past 15, stumbled out of the kitchen, his shirt soaked with a mystery liquid.

“Where is everyone?” Fe whispered as Sean led them through the kitchen.

“Downstairs.” Sean muttered back, grabbing a cup off a counter and passing it to Fe.

“Uhm..” Fe pushed the cup away hesitantly, his heart going to his throat. He hated refusing things from people. He didn’t want to be rude, especially not to Sean, but intoxication was against Fe’s beliefs. He was taught not to ever drink anything alchoholic. And so he wouldn’t.

“Go ahead, give it a try.” Sean pushed the cup toward him again, a slim smirk on his face. “Won’t hurt ya any.”

Fe shook his head, turning his face away as he bit at his lip nervously.

“Fine,” Sean shrugged, taking the cup to his lips. Fe watched as his adams apple moved down his throat, wondering how he could take it all down so easily. Fe had always been told alchohol burned the throat and tongue, and was bitter tasting. It made him curious, but not curious enough to take any himself.

“How about some water then?” Sean walked over to a sink as Fe stayed at the counter, turning on the tap and filling the cup.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“You gotta loosen up a bit,” Sean smirked, leaving the cup in the sink and walking back over to Felix. He wrapped an arm around Fe’s waist and led him to a door through the kitchen. He opened it and Fe’s eyes widened. He was staring into nothingness, a few dim yellow rays from the kitchen shown down on steep steps that led down to total black. How was he supposed to go down there if he couldn’t see his own feet?

“There’s a rail on your side.” Sean nodded, and Fe reached out carefully in the dark, feeling at the cold wall for something. He located it and slowly descended the steps, Sean stabilizing him, closing the door behind them, leaving them in darkness.

As Fe’s eyes adjusted, he realised it wasn’t pitch black down here after all. There was a few dim glowing lava lamps, each of different colours, set on small tables around the room. Some were florescenly lit, some purple, or bright red, or dull blue. The lamps were hypnotic to look at, and Fe watched intently as thick liquids floated lazily around in their containers as Sean and him walked past them.

Fe realised there were people down here as well, quietly talking to each other, or sitting next to each other with smoking things in their fingers, some mouth to mouth, or on each others laps even. Some sat on the floor next to the lava lamps, their half lidded eyes sluggishly following the liquids in them, the glowing light from the lamps highlighting their faces softly.

There was a quiet tune of music, slow and smooth and seductive, something Felix would imagine the colour red would sound like. Some people were near the walls, in each other’s arms, or grinding on one another, and others lay like ragdolls on large black bean bags in the middle of the large room. The air was fairly muggy, and the longer Fe’s eyes adjusted to the dim lighting-or lack of-, he could partially make out trails of smoke floating near the floor.

“What is this place?” Fe whispered, chewing his lip as he walked slowly past two girls splayed out on a rug, giggling softly to each other.

“The basement.”

“Why are there lava lamps in the basement? My basement doesn’t look like this.”

“Your basement is also probably a praying room.” Sean scoffed as he stepped over a plug for a lamp that trailed the ground.

“That’s in the attic, actually.” Felix responded, looking back as he nearly tripped over a stray shoe.

“Why do you have a praying room in your house at all,” Sean muttered, not really in the form of a question.

“Mom doesn’t like to drive,” Felix decided to explain anyway. “The church is kinda far from the house, and mom doesn’t like feeling far away from God..”

Felix trailed off quietly as Sean stopped near a lamp in the corner of the basement, looking around the room slowly.

“The hell is he..?” The green haired kid muttered.

Felix kept his mouth shut. Whoever Sean was looking for was none of Fe’s business. Hopefully.

“I’ll be right back,” Sean muttered, letting go of Fe’s waist. Felix’s heart quickened again, hesitantly letting go of Sean’s shirt as he walked back through the room, weaving around black shapes of people on the floor, then back up the stairs.

Felix felt awkward just standing there by himself. He was in a house he’d never been to, with people he’d never talked to, at a time he couldn’t dream he’d ever been out on. Better yet, he’d come with someone his parents would never let him associate himself with. All of this was insane to begin with, and standing in a dark basement with young adults out of their minds high or drunk, was just adding to the feeling.

Fe scooted back into the corner a little more, which put the prey feeling at ease a bit. He felt like anyone could just turn into a demon in this darkness, without a thought from Felix, and he’d'nt even know. And suddenly he’d be face to face with a demon in the dark, and he’d probably get possessed, and dragged to the pits of Hades. And his parents would be nonethewiser…

A rough hand hitting between Fe’s shoulderblades pushed the swede out of his mess of thoughts, and he jumped in suprise.

A stumpy kid stood next to him, and two others at his side. The kid was muscular, Fe would even use the word buff, and olive coloured. He was short, barely Fe’s height, but taller than Sean, with fluffy black hair and a somber look on his face.

“Come here often?” He muttered with a smirk.

Felix felt his blood go cold as soon as he heard the kid’s voice.

How hadn’t he realised? Why was he touching him? Why was he here to begin with?

This was Mark. A member of the football team. Felix absolutely dreaded him, and for good reason. This kid had been the opitimy of terror since the beginning of middle school for Felix, and any time he even heard his name, dread filled him.

Memories of Fe’s head being shoved into toilets, and stuffed into lockers for hours, and randomly punched for only the good Lord knows why filled his head.

Why was he touching him? Mark hated him. Didnt he? But.. why was he smiling right in front of Fe’s face, if he hated him? Why was his hand touching him? Why was he even here at this party?

“Don’t look so happy to see me,” The kid laughed quietly, his hand squeezing firmly at Fe’s shoulder now. The two boys next to him looked on with smug faces, their hands folded across their chests.

“Have you met these guys?” Mark asked with a smile, lookiny back at them. He pushed Fe in front of them forcefully.

Felix’s body was screaming. His bully’s hands were on him, and he was surrounded in darkness, and the smell of drugs and fermented alchohol, and moist teenage bodies. He didn’t need to imagine a devil coming from the darkness. He was staring two of them right in the face.

“The tall one’s Tyler,” Mark muttered in Fe’s ear, his tone deep and quiet. “Say hi to him?”

Mark’s fingers dug into Fe’s back after a moment of silence from the swede, and Fe reluctantly mewed out a non enthusiastic ‘hello’, his eyes bearing straight into the ground.

The tall kid didn’t acknoledge Fes greeting, only sighed slightly as he rested his shoulder against the basement wall.

“He’s not much of a talker,” Mark explained with a grin. “This little ball of energy is though.”

He had pointed at the much shorter kid in front of Fe, standing slightly awkward.

Before the kid could get out a word, Mark turned Fe’s stiff body back toward him, smiling again.

“Who would have thought it?” He laughed a little. “A christian boy like you, at a party like this? What’re the odds!”

Felix bit his lip in concentration, continuing to look at the ground.

“Honestly, I would’ve thought you’d be asleep in your crib by now,” The buff kid smirked, looking Fe up and down.

The boys behind them snickered at the insult.

“So what brings you here, babe?” Mark asked with a smug look at his fingers. “It’s kinda hard to get into a Pj party if you don’t know the guy..”

Fe kept his mouth shut, chewing on his tongue as his eyes began to water slightly. He already knew where this was going. This was the most normal conversation Mark had ever had with Felix, but the swede knew he’d mess it up and tick Mark off somehow. And ticking off Mark always led to Fe coming home with bruises he couldn’t explain to his mother.

“You don’t know him, do you?“ Mark pressed on, his voice becoming slightly gruffer as he looked up from his nails

The only sounds in the large basement was the same sensual music playing, a few quiet slurry murmurs here and there. Everything felt so sluggish. Everything looked so dim. It all felt bad. Standing in front of his abuser was bad. Coming here at all was bad. Coming here with Sean had been bad.

Sean. Where was he? Where had he gone? He said he’d be right back, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t here to protect Felix, or sheild him, or get him out of this situation the swede didn’t even want to be in. He’d left him alone, in the lowest part of a house he’d never seen before, where his screams probably couldn’t even be heard in the streets of the abandoned looking neighborhood it was built on. Someone could just snatch him down here, and punch him down here, and hurt him down here. And now hands were on him. Mark’s hands. And they were trapping him down here, and holding him so roughly, and the room was so muggy, and everything was suddenly so dark and strange to Felix.

“Let go please,” Fe slurred as he put his hands on Mark’s weakly. “I’m not comfortable with your hands touching me.”

His arms felt like jelly compared to Mark’s.

“Aw, you guys hear that?“ Mark snickered, gripping at Fe harder, his hand sliding down to the small of Fe’s back. “He said he’s not comfortable!” The short kid mocked, his tone whiny. “You wanna get comfy, babe?”

“I’m serious.” Fe stated, his voice breaking as Mark pushed him toward a door in the basement’s wall.

“Oh-of course!” Mark grinned evily as Tyler opened the door slowly. “Your comfort is high priority to us!

“Didn’t Pj say this was his mom’s room..?” Asked the smaller kid as Mark slightly shoved Felix into the dark room.

“Okay, first of all.” Mark stopped, turning back to look at the kid. “Why the fuck would Pj’s mom sleep in the basement.”

The shorter kid shrugged, looking a bit uncomfortably up at Tyler, who shrugged back at him as he closed the door behind them.

“Secondly,” Mark turned back with a roll of his eyes.“No. And this is obviously a laundry room. Turn on the damn light.”

Tyler flicked the light on and Fe squinted hard, covering his face from the sudden shift of lighting. It was very dim, probably hadn’t been changed for months, and it flickered now and again, but it was still bright enough to hurt his eyes.

“You comfy now?” Mark teased.

“No, Mark..” Felix peeped out as he looked at the floor, trying to hold his shaking breath. He shuffled away from the others slowly. “Can you please let me out..”

“He’s not comfy!” Mark scoffed and threw his hands up exasperatedly. Then turning back to the other boys, he smirked, “Let’s make him comfy, huh?”

And suddenly Felix was shoved down onto a large pile of clothes, and he yelped. Hands were on him, pulling at his hair, and his clothes, and his skin, and everything was going so fast for him, he couldn’t keep up.

“Guys, ow-hey!” Felix tried to keep up, pushing away the large hands grasping at him. Someone had gotten his sweater off. Another had his pants unzipped. Everything was wurring by, yet at the same time, it was all sluggish. “Please-you’re hurting me-”

“Oh, guys-” Mark suddenly stepped back, his eyes innocent. “We’re hurting him.”

Tyler scoffed in frustration, the other kid also laughing to himself.

“We should be gentle, right guys?” Mark pouted, reaching over to Felix and softly carressing his cheek. “We don’t wanna make the lil baby uncomfortable.” He pinched Fe’s cheek hard, and shook, snearing at the swede in annoyance.

Fe shoved Mark’s hand away, kicking the buff kid in the belly.

And then the pain from Fe’s cheek was forgotten-or replaced- by a punch to the face that left him reeling.

He struggled to push himself off the ground, but the pile of clothes were unstable, and sunk in at any pressure applied to it. The others pushed him back down roughly, a smack landed on his face, and his head went fuzzy. He fought at the arms around him, and bit, and tears were suddenly streaming down his cheeks and he was sobbing as the boys ripped ferociously at his white button down open, the buttons flying off easily.

Felix tried desperately to get the others off of him, kicking and panting and scratching at anything and everything he could reach that felt like flesh. But after every hit or scratch he scored, another smack to the face, or punch, or shove landed on him and left him feeling weaker and weaker.

A knock at the door shifted Tyler and the smaller boy’s attention, and Mark stilled his hands a moment, turning to Tyler.

“You locked the door, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Occupado,” Mark called out with a tinge of annoyance. Felix, still panting, whimpered out slightly, but Mark’s hand went over his mouth and nose firmly.

A bang at the door startled the boys and they all jumped again as another one shook the frame slightly.

“There’s people in here!” The small kid announced.

Felix felt light headed. He couldn’t breathe.

Another bang at the door, and Tyler looked back at Mark in concern.

Felix nailed at Mark’s arm, hitting at it with his palm weakly. He couldn’t breathe.

Tyler shuffled to the door after another bang, this time the door made a cracking sound.

“What the fuck?” Mark growled angrily, cuffing Felix in the head as he continued to eye the door.

Bang!

Felix’s lungs felt on fire. He scratched harder, tears rolling down his face as his vision began to blur.

Bang! The frame was buckling and splintering.

“Who the fuck is that?!” Mark pressed harder against Felix’s face, looking from Tyler, to the other kid in the room.

Bang!

Fe felt his strength leaving him now, his vision darkening, eyelids feeling heavy.

BANG!

“I-I-I don’t know! I-I don’t-” Tyler spit out in panic, reaching for the handle on the door.

BANG!

“Fucking figure it out, then!” Mark barked, anger in his voice.

As Felix’s field of view was covered with silver glowing specks, the sound of wood breaking filled the his ears. “YOU GET THE FUCK OFF HIM!” Muffled screams and yelling could be heard in the background, and Fe felt the pressure on his face leave him, lots of commotion going on around him. He took a breath, gasping instinctively, pain in his lungs.

“STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!”

Felix saw a blurry, unfocused blur of green and black in the room, the shape knocking into a larger shape at the door. “I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU!” The shape then tackled another shorter one dark blur as the smallest shape whisked out the door.

“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!”

Felix recognised the accented voice across the room, his head and limbs feeling incredibly heavy. His eyes closed, vision being consumed by darkness, and he sighed as he felt himself drift off into sleep.

Your Nerd; Renjun

request :
yo i know you are kinda nervous in ur writing and probably skeptical about how it turns out but.. dont worry,, its lovely and enjoyable:>> CAN I REQUEST FOR A RENJUN FLUFF where hes like a nerd that helps u in homework cus your his tablemate omg tats so cute okay abt sth liddat BYE KEKKEKEKEKE

a/n : well hello anon! sorry for the delay in posting this up; ive had some troubles and many school events to organise, i apologise ;-; anyways, i hope its okay!! im sorry if i didnt actually emphasise on the nerd part iM SO SORRY ;-; anyways, thank you for requesting!! 💕🐳

genre : fluff, nerd!Renjun

————————•

You sank further into your seat, finding a comfortable position before closing your eyes. It has been eight hours of school with two more to go. The sounds of someone trudging in and placing their bag on the seat beside you was heard. Knowing who it was without even opening your eyes, you began making inhumane noises whilst complaining about how your brain was filled with too much information after math class on trigonometry. “Renjun how the hell are you not dead yet? Theres like two more hours of having to absorb information i swear i-” you stopped your words right there when you saw Renjun fishing out a container filled with food and a cup of chocolate frappe. “I knew you would complain again so i told my mom to cook for you food as well so we can study and do homework together! Anyways its our free period now, its lesson for the Econs students,” he said slinging on your bag over his before you could protest, ready to head off to the cafeteria’s study area. You could only blush in embarrassment as the both of you walked away from the classroom. It was these simple things that this little nerd by the name Huang Renjun did to make you fall for him hard after being seatmates for three years. You never told him or even anyone about it; simply to avoid embarrassment, rejection and the loss of friendship.

**********

“Hnfff why do they need to make life harder by combining mensuration with trigonometry and Pythagoras’ Theorem and congruency when they could be four separate questions,” you groaned in disapproval as you flipped on to the next page of the math homework Renjun had brought over to your house. Being sick definitely let you skip school with a valid reason but that only means a whole lot to catch up on afterwards. Just your luck that Renjun knew your address and actually offered to stay with you and teach you the lessons taught in class. “Well you’d better start doing it; its actually not that difficult I’d say,” Renjun said as he took a tray from the dressing table beside your bed, “stay put and finish this question and the question afterwards. I’m going down to heat your porridge and bring your medicine. Oh, triangle PQR is congruent to triangle XYR by the way!” He then went down to the kitchen while humming. You made a grim face as you stared back at the printed questions on the papers in front of you. “If i could get smarter at every time i smile at the thought of that snaggle toothed boy, I’d probably already have a doctorate in mathematics and rocket science,” the pencil in your hand dropped onto your leg as you muttered under your breath. You sat there on your bed, drifting off to wonderland as you flipped through the other pages. Suddenly a page filled with post-its and coloured ink caught your attention. You frowned as you thought about what Renjun could have doodled on your paper as he had always done before; moomin, random objects in your pencil case or maybe even a sponge he found in the art room. Careful to not let any of the post-its to fall off, you gently lifted the stapled papers and flipped to that page. Your eyes were being greeted by your favourite colours being used to write your name in cursive and post-its with his handwriting on around it. Words in capital letters screamed “READ HERE FIRST” as you eyed the details of the neat calligraphy of your name. “1. heyyyyyyy idek how to start this but first of thank you for existing and taking notice of me five years back when we werent seatmates yet hehe,” the first post it above your name melted your heart as you continued on to the next one. “2. also can i just say that your eyes are just!! so!! pretty!! so is your smile, i want to see that toothy grin you give me everyday!” you covered you mouth and grinned as you read the last sentence. “3. you must be wondering why the sudden sweet messages and especially on your homework welp anyways im a nerd so sticky notes it is :P” You giggled upon reading the third post-it. Ah, why is he so cute? you thought to yourself. “4. Trust me, you’re really beautiful. Dont let others tell you otherwise because if they do, tell them to catch my fists ;) And yes, i just did call call you beautiful because you are, from the inside out, everything about you is beautiful. I love you so much i get carried away sometimes thinking about you.” Your eyes instinctively widened in surprise as you did a double-take on the last sentence. “5. Yes, you read that right. Even after your cute little double takes when ur shooketh™ hehe :)) And yes i love you more then just how our platonic friendship is, i love you more than just as a friend. So now look up ;)” You looked up in confusion to see Renjun sitting at the edge of your bed with your porridge and a few roses in hand. “Be my girlfriend?” a pink-cheeked Renjun said as you nodded, tearing up a little and he embraced you. You felt complete and in place in his arms. He looked down and kissed your forehead; an immediate instinct he felt the need to comply to. “Yah, you’re such a nerd its too cute i swear,” you said as you looked up, remaining in that position. “At least im your nerd now,” he smirked, cupping your heated face.

We Don’t Talk Anymore 2

part one was requested by @meetingtheworld, i didnt have anything to write for part two so i apologise how this turned out but i had nothing else to write!! yikes!

PART ONE

MASTERLIST

Pairing: tomxreader

Word Count: 488

Warnings: swearing

Side Note: this is unedited but pls send requests im stumped !


ONE MONTH LATER

“She looks nice,” Tom’s friend says, pointing at a girl across the bar. Tom takes another sip of his beer, rolling his eyes. He doesn’t even look at the girl across the room. “Or maybe you can hook up with the one next to her. Oh, maybe both?”

“Shut up, man,” Harrison says, taking a sip of his beer too.

“What? He needs to get over her.”

Tom lifts his beer and slams it back down. “No, I don’t. I’m over her.”

They start looking at the girls again, trying to find the prettiest girls that look the least like you. Harrison rolls his eyes every time they mention one. Harrison doesn’t think Tom needs to get over you. He thinks he needs to talk to you.

“Women aren’t objects, you jackasses.” He grabs Tom’s arm and drags him out of the bar, letting go of the sad boy when they get out onto the street. “Let’s go home.”


“I’m gonna turn in, I’m pretty tired. You alright by yourself?”

Tom looks up from his phone, nodding at Harrison waiting by his bedroom door. He smiles and closes the door, allowing Tom to look back at the screen. Without really thinking, he types your username into the Instagram search bar.

You’re still blocked by him. He blocked you two and a half months ago when you’d really just broken up.

He blinks a few times before unblocking you, starting to scroll through your photos. You didn’t mention the guy from before, you haven’t mentioned him since the night you went out partying with him.

He scrolls through your Instagram for another hour, and three near heart attacks later due to nearly liking your photos from 2014, he decides to turn off his phone.

It was two in the morning.

He throws his phone and allows it to land on the other side of the bed. Your side of the bed. It’s practically your pillow.

Fuck. Why does he still love you?


He pulls into the carpark of the grocery store. There aren’t many cars there, which is rare. Especially in the afternoons.

Walking in, he pretends not to notice the familiar car he made out with you in multiple times. Just…a similar car. He’s seen heaps of these cars around. It’s fine.

Tea. He’s there for tea, only for tea. He doesn’t need all the other shit that he really wants, he just needs the fucking tea.

Yeah, he didn’t need to run into you. That isn’t what he needed.

He freezes in his spot, and remains frozen until you look up and see him. You nearly drop the food in your hand when you see him.

“Uh, hi,” he says quietly. He clears his throat lightly. “How have you been?”

You give him a small smile, and all you want to do is reach forward and kiss him. That’s all you want to do.

Random deh School Headcanons

-despite being better at English, Evan’s highest grades are in math because he doesn’t have to present
-Evan’s grades and his GPA are kind of average because of this
-which makes Evan a little paranoid, so he spends a lot of time studying just so he can have good grades in class (which, he thinks, isnt terrible because what else is he going to do with his time?)
-Evan actually tried to join a few clubs his freshman year (including the ecology club), but after realizing how many people there were, he quickly backed out
-Evan never buys any yearbooks from school because theyre not really that cheap but also he doesnt really talk to anyone anyway (and really, didnt people only buy them so their friends could sign it? Who even would?)
-Evan used to keep his phone in his locker because he was always afraid of it going off in class (even though he was sure he turned it off and checked 10 times before each class) but after overhearing about how someone’s locker was broken into, he carries it around with him
-(after he starts brining it to class, he realizes it was silly to think it would go off in class because who would even call/text him anyway?)

Keep reading

as most people may know, yesterday a fancam from jonghyun’s concert vcr went up, a part of which showed him doing a “bollywood” style dance to impress a girl he likes. after fans pointed out to him that the segment was, unintentionally or not, essentially mocking south asian culture, jonghyun tweeted an apology and said it would be removed from the upcoming concerts. he was really prompt with his apology, which people like me, who are indian, really appreciated. 

because i had a very strong reaction to the vcr, a few people messaged me asking why exactly i found it so offensive. there were several things in it that i could not condone, or pretend were not based off harmful stereotypes about my culture. this post is an explanation of different elements of the vcr that made it a problematic, and a reductive parody of south asian culture. 

this post is not a discussion of jonghyun’s character, or personality, or intent. we raised a point. he acknowledged it. he apologized, and we acknowledge that. the segment will be removed. let’s call it a day. 

this post is not a discussion of my reaction. this post is not me trying to stir up shit, or a discussion that is over and a matter that has been respectfully resolved. and this post is not me justifying my reaction, i feel no need to do so. it is only for the benefit of the people who reached out to me, and anyone who else may be interested to learn why that part of the vcr had to go. 

if that is alright with you, please go ahead and read more. if it’s not or you feel like you’d like to question my motives for it or my reaction to the incident, feel free to scroll on.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

GoM+Hanamiya+Kagami scenario where their s/o is very distant/detached to the world and the boys and they lazily stay at home like a cocoon. Its like an Aomine where she was fiery & hyper but then suddenly detached but a bit more further!

I’m not gonna lie, I struggled with this… Especially for Hanamiya… I dont like him… And this was my first request for him…. But I must… But I had to for this one… It is for you guys!!!! And this was a tough scenario. I hope you guys like it because… I really struggled for this one… I feel defeated… (|||❛︵❛.)

Kise

“___-chan, let’s go out,” Kise whined. You didn’t move a centimeter. Kise pouted as he saw no effort from you. “Ne, ___-chan, cmon, let’s go out.”

“I like being here though,” you said flatly. You didn’t open your eyes but could feel Kise staring at you with intense eyes.

Kise sunk lower into the bed and pouted. “I wanna go out and do something.”

“What you need to do is relax,” you said, emphasizing need.

“What I need is my girlfriend to go out with me,” Kise mimicked you. “Cmon, ___-chan, you always stay at home! Let’s go out!”

“Yeah, and you always work. You’re totally busy. You need to relax, Ryouta,” you sat up to face Kise. You looked to him with annoyance and a pout. But somehow, Kise had a deeper pout.

“I want to spend time with you!”

“We are spending time together, just lay with me,” you asked. You laid back down into bed with your hands behind your head. You closed your eyes and waited for Kise to accompany you.

Kise stared at you annoyed. He didn’t work too much. He just worked when school or basketball wasn’t schedule or unless it was really important. Then again, when wasnt that? When was the last time he really got to relax?

It occurred to Kise your point was true. Kise stood up and walked over to the bed. He laid next to you, perfectly folding against you. He put his arm over your waist and his other arm behind his head. He placed his chin above your head and brought you closer to your body. The smell of your hair engulfed his nose, but he wasn’t complaining. It was nice, it had been awhile since you two got to be this close and relaxed together.

“Mmm, this is nice,” Kise said with a warm smile

“I told you,” you replied with a smile. You two hadn’t moved from each other. You both fell asleep quietly as Kise held you at peace.

Midorima

“You need to get up,” Midorima said as he put his shirt on. You still laid in his bed lazily.

“I don’t have plans today, I’ll just stay here,” you replied quietly.

Midorima looked back at you annoyed. You opened one eye and looked into his annoyed eyes. He squinted even more, as if trying to test you. Ignoring his test, you closed your eyes to relax.

“You can’t stay here,” Midorima grunted.

“Why? Is your other girlfriend coming?” you replied flatly. You could hear Midorima shufflin through his sports bag, making sure he had everything for practice.

“Don’t be stupid,” he replied. “You just can’t be lazy.”

“I never get a day off. I was lucky my practice got cancelled. So let me enjoy it,” you replied annoyed.

A silence entered the room. The aura between you two had suddenly become heavy. Midorima stopped shuffling through his back and thought in your situation, as you. Losing your game wasn’t something taken lightly. Midorima understood that. What he couldn’t understand was how you could just lay in bed, not wanting to become better to defeat your next opponent. Midorima turned his back to look at you, as if trying to find an answer from you. As he stared at you, he realized the answer.

You two were different. This is how you handle a loss, and this is how he handled a loss. Midorima looked back to his sports bag and accepted his answer. If he didn’t, he would begin questioning why he fell for you.

“Fine,” Midorima said flatly. He slung his sports bag over his shoulder and walked over to you. He expected you not move a muscle so he bent down and kissed your temple.

As he walked out his bedroom you looked at the door. You thought of how nice it must be to feel so motivated after a hard defeat. You thought of how nice it must feel to become better without realizing you could. You continued to ponder on Midorima’s decision and yours. You two were different. You accepted that. But it didn’t to hurt like one another every now and then.

You got up from Midorima’s bed and chased after him, ready to practice with him.

Aomine

Aomine walked up to you as you laid yourself across the grass. You opened one eye to look up to him.

“What’s wrong?” you asked. Aomine had the usual mug on his face, but something in his eyes told you he was troubled.

“Aren’t we too alike?” Aomine asked as he laid next to you, almost in the same position.

You opened both eyes and stared up into the clouds. “Yeah, I think so.”

“You don’t think its a bad thing?”

“You don’t think its weird you’re the one asking this and not me? I thought I was the girl in the relationship,” you teased in a flat voice.

Aomine turned his head to you with an annoyed frown. “Shut up, I was just asking.”

Aomine went back to looking up at the sky with you. A silence held you two together. The sky was so blue, but a deep blue. It reminded you of Aomine’s eyes.

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,” you noted. “We get each other.”

Aomine didn’t move his eyes from the sky. He watched as the clouds began to move away from the other. They all flowed together as if in a river. The clouds reminded him of you. He liked watching he clouds because they were relaxing. Being with you relaxed him.

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” Aomine replied, beginning to close his eyes. He felt at peace with himself.

“Be thankful I’m not Momoi-san,” you said in a matter-of-fact tone. You heard Aomine grunt in annoyance. You could tell he imagine Momoi’s voice lecturing him to get up and come to basketball practice. He ignored the image and closed his eyes.

You copied him and you both rested peacefully along the grass, feeling the sun against your skin. It was always like this. You two would relax together, letting the world around you move. Just as long as you two were side by side, the world seemed more peaceful than ever.

Murasukibara

Murasukibara and you ate quietly, but happily. In your own way. People who wouldnt know you would assume the atmosphere around you two was heavy, as if you two were arguing. But for people who knew you two, they would know that that’s just how you two were. You two ate in silence with straight faces.

“Hey,” Murasukibara said as he looked down to you. You looked up with a bland look. You raised an eyebrow as your response. “Why dont you play anymore?”

You avoided Murasukibara’s look. “You’re really asking?”

Murasukibara took a bite out of his meal, waiting for you to answer him. He knew you were going to answer him, despite your attitude. You looked up at his patient eyes annoyed.

“I don’t care if you play or not, I’m just curious”

“I just don’t want to play anymore”

“How funny, I said the same thing too,”

“Its just basketball”

“I said that too”

“And what’s your point?” you asked finally looking deep into Murasukibara’s eyes. You were undeniably annoyed.

He took a bite out of his meal again before looking back at you. Once your eyes met, there was that intense vibe around you two. The meal wasn’t enjoyable anymore.

“Nothing. I just want to know.”

You looked down to your uneaten meal and thought back to that day. A game you knew you would win. A game you knew even if you finally gave it your all, you would win. But at the end of the game, you lost. A game you knew you would win, but didnt. And what made you feel worse was that was the first game Murasukibara could watch because he left his game early. He wanted to see you in person play rather than videos. And his heart felt a little hurt for you. Murasukibara watched you play with your all. He saw you play with an expression he had never seen before. Or at least in awhile. Murasukibara saw so many different things happen to you that day, and after you lost he had seen your heart shed tears. You thought back to how you acted the next few days with Murasukibara. He hated it. You hated it. But you couldn’t stand it. Playing didnt feel the same anymore.

Murasukibara knew all this too. Your face said it all.

“No, you just want to remind me of something annoying.”

“I’m annoying too.”

“So?”

“I love you.”

You look toward him startled and surprised. Where did that come from? Murasukibara never expressed himself so bluntly. What was he trying to prove to you?

“I love you too?”

“I understand you. We’re the same. Dont give up on something you love.”

Murasukibara left you speechless. He looked down to you with his droopy eyes as you looked up to him surprised. He walked away to throw away his tray. As you watched him walk away, you realized something.

Murasukibara was right. And it annoyed you. But you loved him. And basketball.

Akashi

“Do you want to go check out that store?” Akashi asked as he nodded to a womens retail store.

“Its okay” you replied uninterested. You continued walking away with a bored face as Akashi watched you.

“Why not, my love?” Akashi asked as he stopped walking.

You turned your back and looked to him. You looked over to the store Akashi had pointed to then back to him. “I dont want to.”

Akashi pouted. This was rare.

“What?” you asked confused.

“You’ve become different.”

“And that’s coming from you?”

You began to walk away until Akashi suddenly grabbed your wrist. You turned to give Akashi an annoyed face but it suddenly dispensed when you saw the strange look in his eyes. No his one eye.

“Stop.”

You froze. Akashi rarely made you fear. But it frightened you when he unintentionally used his eye. He noticed the fear in your eye and calmed down. Akashi looked away and took one deep breath in then out. His grip on your wrist loosened. His gaze returned back to you with an apologetic look.

“What-”

“My love, please dont always be like that.”

You winced. Akashi could always see right through you. He knew everything about you.

Akashi knew why you were acting like this. He knew it was because of your game. He knew it was because you gave your all for nothing. To feel defeat. But what got you the most was he would never understood.

You two had fought after the game because Akashi didn’t understand your feelings. Soon you gave up. Why did you care anyway? It wasn’t a big deal. But you even distanced yourself from Akashi. Soon he didnt care and let you distance yourself. So many things kept happening and not happening. Until one night you guys decided it was time to end things.

Akashi watched you agree. Akashi watched you pick up your things then walk to his front door. He watched as you held onto the doorknob before turning it. A tear in his heart was there, a place where it has never been before. Before he knew it, he was trying to stop you from leaving. He ddint want you to leave. He needed you.

So here you two were, trying to fix everything. As you looked into Akashi;s desperate eyes, you finally found the answer the a question you hadnt really thought about.

“You don’t have to try understanding anymore,” you said. Akashi’s eyes were filled with worry. This was such a new look to you. “I think you already understand what I’m feeling.”

“Wha-”

“When you feel like you’re about to lose me, you get the same as I got the first time.”

Akashi blushed as he looked to you. You were blushing as well with a pout. Such a different face. A weigh in his heart had appeared. But it wasnt the same weigh it had been that he was feeling for weeks. Seeing you with a new face, it made him aware. He knew what you were feeling. The heart break. The pain. The wait. But coming to terms with those feelings, it was heartwarming. Being with each other, realizing each others feelings have made it possible.

Hanamiya

“How can you stand being alone like this?”

“You don’t think its nice?”

Hanamiya peeked down to you. Your eyes had been closed the whole time. You two decided to stay home and relax. Something you havent gotten to do in a long time.

“I could be doing something else.”

“Then do something else.”

Hanamiya pouted as you relaxed. Hanamiya had been trying to get you out the house for awhile this week. He wanted to play some basketball but you weren’t in the mood for it. And he knew why.

“Losing sucks.”

You didnt respond. You werent going to take part in his game. You laid across the couch with your eyes stil closed.

“But quitting is stupid.”

That was when you opened your eyes. You looked over to Hanamiya who was waiting for your response. As you rolled your eyes, you got up. Hanamiya had a mischievous smile and got up as well.

“I hate you, you know?” you said as you two walked out the door.

“Eh, I love you too,”

Kagami

“You do it like this!”

“No, this is how you do it!”

That’s all it took. You and Kagami were stuck in a staring match with frustrated grunts for awhile. You were fed up with Kagami trying to show you how to shoot a basketball when you already knew how. You walked passed him to go inside the house.

“O-Oi!”

“What?”

“We’re not done!”

“Yes we are,” you turned around to look at him. The anger in your eyes made Kagami tense. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but its annoying me. Taiga, you know I dont want to play these games.”

“You’re only acting like that because of what happened! Why did you quit basketball?!” Kagami asked determined. He was practically shouting now. His frustration had gotten to him. He fell in love with you because you were so alive and determined when it came to basketball. When you played, he saw the happiness in your eyes. But after a loss, you hadnt been the same.

You looked down to the ground, uneasy. “Losing isnt fun.”

“Thats your answer?” you looked to Kagami. He was angry now. You stood you ground as Kagami walked over to you with clenched fists. You prepared yourself for the worse.

You didnt prepare yourself for his arms to wrap around you. You forgot how much taller Kagami was than you. Your heart exploded with the sudden embrace. Kagami’s face was against your head, and you could hear him grunting in frustration.

“That doesnt mean you have to quit” he whispered. “It only means you get stronger.”

A tear rolled down your eye. Kagami’s words were the truth, and you knew it. For so long you had been avoiding the truth, only because it hurt. For the longest time you believed you didnt need to become stronger. You had won all your games, stood tall. But after your first loss in so long, it felt strange. You knew that you needed to become stronger, but you didnt want to admit it.

All you could do was nod you head. You slowly wrapped your arms around Kagami as you quietly cried into his shoulder.

“That’s my baby girl” you could almost feel Kagami’s smile against your face.

“Shut up”

gruvia drabble

prompt: ok i made this one up. to those of u that watch friends, do u remember that episode where monica realllyyy wants these expensive boots & chandler’s like “no ur wasting ur money” but monica gets them anyway but the boots end up being hella painful but she cant tell chandler bc hes gonna be all “i told u so” ok well that’s what this drabble is lol.

pairing: gruvia/gray x juvia

type: one-shot, au

rating: k

author’s note: ok 1, this was 99.9999% dialogue & im sorry. 2, i dont remember exactly how this episode of friends went down, but it was something along these lines lol. 3, the ending terrible but its really late & i wanted to finish this asap & i didnt know how to end it soo… there u go!!!!! enjoy!(:

~

Those boots were practically shouting Juvia’s name through the viewing glass as she walked down the street with her boyfriend. They were beautiful, pitch-black, knee-high boots with a two-inch stiletto heel. In one word, they were gorgeous.

“Gray-sama!” Juvia tugged on the sleeve of Gray’s jacket.

“What?” Gray stepped back and stood beside Juvia.

“Look at these boots! They’re beautiful!” Juvia awed at the shoes, practically pressing her face up against the glass of the window where the boots first caught her attention.

“Yeah, they’re nice.” Gray took a step forward to get a closer look. Suddenly, the price tag slapped him right across the face. “$500?!”

“No! They’re only $499.” Juvia defensively said.

“Oh, right. My mistake.” He sarcastically replied.

Juvia leaned forward to read the tag. “And they’re limited edition!”

“They just say that so people will buy them.” Gray grumbled.

“Juvia’s going to get them.” She giddly exclaimed without a second thought. Just as she dashed to the door of the shop, Gray got ahold of her wrist.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a sec.” He reasoned. “Don’t you think $500 is a little expensive?”

“Juvia would sell her soul if it meant getting those boots.” She sounded completely serious.

“Alright, that’s a little much.” He grumbled. “Still, maybe you should pass on these.”

“But-!”

“I’m sure you can find boots that look just like that for half that price.”

“But-!”

“Just sleep on it, okay?” Gray’s voice was remaining clam, yet stern.

“O-kay.” Juvia muttered as she sullked.

~

Gray reached for his phone again and checked the time. It was now 10:45 P.M, and Juvia was still not back from work. She typically got home around 9:00, so ever since they moved in together, Gray liked to wait for her to get home before going to bed. Juvia would refer to it as “incredibly sweet” to which Gray would probably roll his eyes and go to bed.

Even when Juvia was going to be home late, she always texted him first. This time, he didn’t receive a text. He even texted her. Twice. At this point, he was starting to get nervous.

Just as he was about to send out a third text, he heard the door to their apartment opening. He attentively sat up on the couch, thinking about what to say to her. Something along the lines of “where the hell were you” or “you could’ve at least answered my texts” would suffice.

Sure enough, it was his girlfriend who was slowly opening the door (most likely to avoid creaks). Once she saw the lights were still on and Gray was sitting down on their couch, she opened it with normal force.

“Oh, Gray-sama is still up.” She said a bit suspiciously.

“So, where were you?” Gray decided to take a calmer approach.

“Just, uh, you know… walkin’ around.” Juvia forced a chuckle which got a curious eyebrow raise from Gray. He then noticed she was hiding a bag behind her back. Juvia’s attempt to hide the bag was a lost cause, since it was practically twice Juvia’s width.

“Walking around?”

“Eh… yes.” It seemed that even Juvia saw the weakness of her own lie.

“What do you have behind your back?” He pried.

“Nothing.”

“Juvia-” He was close to getting up and seeing what was in the bag himself.

“It’s nothing!” She took a step back.

“It’s obviously something.” He stood up and began to approach her.

“Okay, okay. But Gray-sama can’t be mad.” She sheepishly said.

“Juvia, I swear to god if there’s a dog in that bag I will-” To be honest, Gray was prepared for the worst, and Gray remembered their argument just a couple weeks ago about getting a dog.

“It’s not a dog.” Juvia stopped him before he could continue. “It’s… the boots.”

“Boots? As in the boots we just saw today? The boots that you wanted to impulsively buy that I told you to reconsider? The $500 boots?” He felt his irritation level rising.

“… They were $499.”

“Juvia!” He scolded.

“Juvia’s sorry! They were just too pretty!” She defended.

“Not $500 worth of pretty!”

“I beg to differ!” She tightly held onto the bag as if they were her children.

“Whatever.” Gray flooped back down onto the couch, feeling defeated. “It’s your money, anyway. You can waste it on as many ridiculously overpriced pairs of boots as you want.”

“It’s not like Juvia isn’t going to wear them! They go with practically everything. Trust me, they’ll go to good use.” She sat beside Gray.

“I guess you’re right.” He sighed and gave a tired smile to his girlfriend.

She had a smug look on her face as she cuddled up beside Gray. “Mhm.”

~

It had been two weeks or so since Juvia first bought the boots. She kept her word and was wearing them everywhere. She wore them to work, to go shopping, when she went out, and she even thought about wearing them to the gym.

These boots and Juvia were like a married couple. They were all over each other for their “honeymoon phase.” Juvia was hardly ever seen without the boots. She loved them more than words could describe. Then, things slowly got worse and worse.

After the first few days with the boots, she began noticing a couple blisters, but didn’t think much of it. Then, there was a a bit of pain every now and then when she walked in them for too long: no big deal. But then, the soreness kicked in. The poor girl wanted to shed a tear with each step she took in those things. It felt like walking on a field of legos, barefoot.

Of course, she couldn’t tell Gray this. Then she would get the whole “I told you so” talk which she was far too familiar with. She just had to suck it up and be a big girl. After all, beauty was pain.

But when Gray suddenly sprung on her one Saturday night that they would be walking to their friend, Natsu’s, house for a party, she almost puked.

“We’re, uh, we’re walking?” She barely choked out.

“Yeah? We always walk to Natsu’s house. It’s only six blocks.” Suddenly, six blocks sounded like six miles.

“B-but, it’s kinda’ chilly outside.”

“Chilly? It’s 60 degrees. Plus, you love the cold.”

“Ah, right.” She was so glad she had a boyfriend who knew these things about her.

“Just put on your boots and we’ll get going.” He began walking to the door.

“Th-the boots. Of course.” She felt her knees begin to buckle just at the thought of those torture devices.

They hadn’t even stepped out of the apartment complex yet and Juvia felt like her feet would shatter at any moment. This was going to be the longest six blocks of her entire life.

Gray noticed her awkward way of walking just after the first block. “You okay?”

“Me? Yeah, Juvia’s fine!” She forced herself to stand up as normally as possible while pushing a smile.

“Uh, okay… If you say so.” He continued walking.

Juvia lasted one more block of walking like a newborn deer before she finally burst.

“Juvia can’t!” She cried out, grasping for whatever was nearest to her for support. In this case, it was a post box.

“Can’t what?”

“Juvia can’t walk anymore! It’s too painful!” She felt tears stinging her eyes.

“What?” Gray still seemed to be lost.

“These boots are terrible! My feet ache, I have blisters, and they’re starting to give Juvia bunions, Gray-sama! Bunions!”

“I thought you loved the boots!”

“So did Juvia, until Juvia actually wore them.” She groaned. She knew the “I told you so” was sure to come.

Gray began to step closer to Juvia. She was ready for it. She was ready for the earful of nagging she was about to get. Still, nothing could’ve been worse than taking another step in those godforsaken boots.

But instead, she was approached by Gray’s back. He even bent down so he was closer to her height. “Get on.”

“Eh?’

“Get on.” He repeated.

“B-but aren’t you going to give Juvia the whole “i told you so” spiel?“ She was almost in shock.

“Nah. I think your bunions do the talking for me.” He chuckled.

There was a moment of silence before Gray looked back to Juvia. “Are you gonna’ get on, or do you wanna’ limp the rest of the way?”

With that, Juvia quickly pulled off the boots in record time and placed them beside her. She then placed one hand on each of Gray’s shoulders and hopped onto his back. He wrapped his arms under her thighs to get a tighter hold as Juvia put her arms around Gray’s neck.

"Gray-sama?”

“Hm?”

“Juvia’s sorry… she should’ve listened to you.” She admitted.

“Yeah, you should’ve.” He chuckled and spun his head around to peck her on the cheek which put her at ease, but she was still pouting.

“You good?” He asked.

He felt her nod and began the rest of the walk. Juvia was feeling embarrassed, to say the least. For one, Gray had to carry her around everywhere for the rest of the night, and second, he was right all along.

“I guess…” She said under her breath.

“Well that doesn’t sound so good to me.”

“It’s nothing.” Juvia said before blowing a piece of her hair out of her face.

“I could always drop you, ya’ know.” He turned his head slightly so she could see the smirk on his face.

Juvia took a breath. “It’s just… Juvia really liked those boots.” She whined as she remembered the happy times she had with her boots, even though those moments were very brief.

“I know.” He sighed.

“There’s $500 down the drain.” She gave a pout and turned her head to press her cheek against Gray’s shoulder.

Juvia eventually noticed all the funny looks she and Gray were getting from people they passed on the street. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“At least Juvia has an excuse for Gray-sama to give her a piggyback ride.” She giggled and tightened her grasp on Gray.

Juvia didn’t even have to see him to now he had a grumpy little pout on his face with pink cheeks.

"By the way,” She changed the subject. “Where are you holding the boots?”

“Huh?”

“The boots. You’re holding them, right?”

Gray stopped walking. “I thought you were holding them.” His voice went dry.

“W-wait, so, you don’t have the boots?”

“No…”

“Juvia must’ve left them back there when she got in Gray-sama’s back!” She mentally face-palmed.

“Well they’re gonna’ stay there, cause’ I’m not walking all the way back there just to get some boots you aren’t going to wear again.” And with that, he continued walking.

“But-!”

“Do you wanna walk back and get ‘em?” He interrupted before she could finish her (most likely) weak argument.

Juvia paused. “No…” She let out a sigh.

“Then they’re staying.”

“Okay…” They then continued their walk to Natsu’s

“Gray-sama…” She whined.

“What?”

“Can you give Juvia a foot massage later?” Her voice sounded so cute Gray couldn’t seem to utter the word “no”.

“…Yeah.” He breathed out, and Juvia gave him a peck on his neck.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever.” She hummed in his ear.

“I know.” Gray replied and continued to piggyback her the rest of the way with no complaints.

About Arima.

Hello! So, a few questions about Arima. You can notice that some of them are really old. I apologize for that. AskBox is open right now, so if you have any questions regarding the latest chapter or anything else feel free to send them.

cellcommander2 said: I FUCKED UP I RERESEARCHED AND FOUND OUT THAT THE BLETILLA STRIATA SYMBOLIZE HARDINESS AKA ARIMA SINCE HES RELIABLE AND ALL THAT JAZZ. I INFERRED THIS FROM WIKIPEDIA

Some people already sent me a few meanings behind the flower (read here, here and here). Thanks so much for sharing, though 

Anon said: I just read your post about Ishida Sui mentioning that Arima’s hair turned white due to “bad genes” so I did some research and I think that Arima has Waardenburg Syndrome (google it). Arima originally had dark hair and dark eyes but if you look at both the manga, anime and book covers, his hair is obviously a white/gray with extremely pale eyes, which fits the description of WS :( It’s an autoimmune disease —> Arima may be dying.

I know about that disease, but I don’t think that’s what he has. For instance, his eyes have always been grey but Ishida-sensei will draw his eyes either really dark or light:

  • Dark:
  • Light:

As you can see, his eyes tend to look very dark; it’s only when he is in a battle when his eyes look light.

This is really similar to Kaneki. When he is happy. nervous or just being a total dork his eyes look almost black:

Note: Using Sasaki as an example because black-haired Kaneki’s eyes are always dark and white-haired Kaneki’s are always light; Sasaki shows both.

On the other hand, whenever he is upset, angry or really sad (or talks to Kaneki), his eyes look light:

As for his hair, we know that Arima undergoes a lot of stress, so I think that might be a reason. Still, it could be an illness, which would explain why the CCG wants someone who can surpass him.

Anon said: Going back to the last tg chapter, I’m curious as to how Arima arrived with Akira to where Haise and Seidou were fighting. Do you think that after Akira heard Haise’s screams, she contacted Arima to come immideately because Haise is in danger or do you think Arima was already on his way to the auction raid area?? It just confused me because he popped up out of nowhere

It seems that, as soon as the escort for the Quinque steel was done, they headed to the Auction as fast as possible. Still, I guess it could be possible that Akira contacted Arima and told him that Sasaki was fighting a SS Rated ghoul alone, thus why he and his squad headed to the Auction Hall first while Ui and Houji went to other sections.

Anon said: Random question: why is tg Jack, which is about Arima, titled that way? Does the Jack vard symbolize something or is the reason given in the series (I never read tg Jack)? Also what do you mean in your most recent post that Arima talked for one minute and recognized that Haise is different? Did you read a spoiler somewhere (could you give me the link pleaseeee)?

Um… yeah. Really old questions here. You probably already know of the quotation marks when he said Haise’s name and this stare:

As for the Jack thing, you can read about it here.

Anon said: Could it be possible that if Arima were to be the One Eyed King, that’d he find RC suppressants to lower his RC levels? It could explain why his scratch did not heal. It could be something like, “I want to make this as legitimate as possible without any speculations to occur.” We’ve seen how far ghouls will go to blend into human society, Arima could be doing such to gain their trust. Also, an Aogiri member actually the strongest in the CCG? My God.

I doubt it. He’d have to constantly inject himself in eye to make it happen; while he could do it sometimes, some missions could take a while and he’d be unable to do it. Also, you have to consider that he’s been with the CCG for 15 years now (maybe even more); Aogiri didn’t even exist back then and even if it did, that’s quite a long time for an infiltration.

Anon said: hello, wow i love your theories they’re so interesting to read, but i’m here to ask if you have an opinion on what Arima meant when, after Kaneki recited that poem in 139, he said Kaneki was the rain? i was quite confused about it so i thought maybe you might know more since your smart, but i’m sorry if i’m bothering you.

Thanks for the kind words! None of you guys could ever bother me. Rain tends to symbolize depression and sadness, but I don’t think that’s what Arima’s words meant. We know that, while he is not particularly empathetic with ghouls, he is polite and pities them to some extent. 

The way I see it, Arima said that so that Kaneki would calm down. If you remember, he was going pretty insane there…

then he recites a poem to calm himself

…and then Arima speaks to him as an equal, ending with this phrase before turning back to being just a ghoul investigator:

I assume he did all this as a way to tell Kaneki that he was not attacking him because he wanted to, rather because he was ordered to…

…and to assure him that he wouldn’t hurt him more than necessary, that he would end it all quickly.

Anon said: Is it possible that Arima is actually a victim of CCG? We know that the CCG has been buying up ghoul solutions… maybe they overpowered Arima by forcing him to undergo surgery/transformation he didnt necessarily want, causing his antisocial bejavior and hair color change. Also he would have to drink ghoul solutions once in a while or something. A crazy headcanon but Arima’s hidden past and future is surely not going to be a happy one *cries*

We know that his backstory is as tragic as Kaneki’s (at least it was implied), so chances are that Ishida-sensei will break our hearts badly when he reveals it. Whether he drinks or not ghoul solutions, I have no clue; it’s possible, but I’m not sure he’d be okay with it.

However, I do think that the CCG is using him (or manipulated him at some point of his life). All the investigators we’ve known have a reason to fight against ghouls, most of them hate them, a lot want to get stronger while some others aim for promotion. Arima has never shown any interest in any of that: he kills ghouls, train some recruits from time to time and participates in big operations of all sorts, but he doesn’t spend time with many people, doesn’t have a collection of Quinques, doesn’t have a particular training schedule (that we know of), he doesn’t even go to reunions unless it’s absolutely necessary (chapter 143) and yet, he’s spent 15 years of his life fighting against ghouls.

It’s clear that, as many investigators, he doesn’t really have a life outside killing ghouls, but he doesn’t enjoy doing that either (he doesn’t even know what to write in his will which is absolutely heart-breaking). Then why is he with the CCG?

I doubt he’d be with them if he had been given a chance (I can picture him as a librarian or maybe a literature teacher), so there must be something the CCG has offered him in exchange of him staying with them. I doubt it’s for money and we know it’s not for joy, so there must be another, deeper reason.

And, since it’s always been one of the focus points of the story, I’d say it has to do with his family.

He might be an orphan, but I don’t think he was when he joined the CCG. Ishida-sensei has mentioned that the cause of Arima’s white hair is bad genes; I don’t particularly believe that’s the reason behind his hair colour, but I doubt Ishida-sensei would say that if there was no truth behind it.

Given the parallels between Kaneki and him, I assume that his father (or mother) died when he was just a child, while the other one was sick of something (let’s say, an autoimmune disease). As a child, Kishou wouldn’t be able to take care of a sick parent.

And this is where I think the CCG appears: they notice a young, talented Arima whose mother/father is sick and take care of him and his family in exchange of him joining the CCG (if he left, his familiar would be forgotten too). And he does everything he’s asked to perfectly because he wants his parent to be okay. And then his family died and Arima, without having anywhere else to go, stays with the CCG following orders like a robot for the longest time.

But, his mother/father was sick, which means he is too so, as the time where he’ll start having medical issues approaches, the CCG grows desperate to have someone that can take his place as an undefeated ghoul investigator, leading to the Quinx (this could also explain Arima’s surprised/sad face when Haise jokes about him being his father).

…Man, what a story I’ve made up. I’m 90% sure it’ll be proven wrong, but that’s what I think might happened. 

dark-hearts-and-swords said: I’m not sure if this has been asked before, but what’s your take on the similarities between Arima and Kaneki/Sasaki?

It’s kind of unusual and interesting that they are so similar and yet so different from each other. I assume Ishida-sensei has something in mind with these two (I don’t think a battle or something like that; maybe they’ll have similar endings), but I guess we’ll have to wait (quick note, if you want a post with all their parallels I guess I can do it, but there’s already quite a lot out there).

f-lexiballerina said: I want to know what your opinion is on Arima and haise? Why is Arima so fond of him. Ever since re: started it seems like Arima goes out of gis way to go see how haise/kaneki is doing. Is it haise’s/kaneki’s personality or because they are similar?

They have quite similar personalities. Also, as his “owner”, I assume Arima started talking to Sasaki to figure out if he could be a ghoul investigator. Having to make a decision based only on Haise’s personality (and no memories), Arima must’ve gotten to know him quite a lot and, as we all know, Kaneki/Sasaki has a really beautiful personality (as Hinami mentions, everyone loved him), so Arima, who receives admiration and envy in equal amounts, would probably be relieved that someone actually treated him as a human.

The Lion and The Grammar Nazi

Dan and Phil have a conversation through writing notes on a desk.

Words: 2,000

Tags: highschool, teenagers, prompt fill

Prompt: @all-kings-will-fall I have a promp and idk where to send it to so: dan and Phil sit at the same desk but different periods of some class& and they talk to eachother by writing in the desk& it’s fluffy and cute.

(I’m not sure how fluffy and cute it is but I did the thing.)

   ~jay

*****

Keep reading

Discovering Gender Identity with Joshua

After being asked to write this week’s article, discovering gender, I immediately realized that for me, this was a more difficult subject to explain. In order to understand how my brain works, I first need to explain what an alternative mindset is. With AS, in the simplest terms, my brain has a bit fewer chips in the ‘social’ basket, and a bit more in the ‘logic’ basket. So even as a child, gender was something I never quite understood, or even acknowledged. In fact, coming into my gender and understanding it was actually an accident. A much needed accident, but still an accident.

I’ve spent much of my life striving to be liked by others. I want so badly to have friends, and even now, I’ve never really had many. A few years ago I decided to be more proactive about myself. I wanted to understand and get to know me, rather than the ‘me’ that I tried to be to fit in with my peers. I remembered being told by someone in high school that they remembered me being ‘really gay and really weird’ in Elementary School. So, I started there. What made me so different?

This takes me to myself as a child. Even as a toddler I had an obsession with martial arts. I wanted to be tough, strong. I wanted to be the Red Ranger. Anytime someone called me the Pink Ranger they were in for one hell of a melt down. I never really knew why at the time but I just felt like the red ranger and myself were similar. I remember being enrolled in karate and using the men’s locker room, or trying to. Constantly. Again, if everyone else was going in there, why couldn’t I? To me, there was no difference between male and female. We were all people who needed to change. And yet, they separated me. I was the only 'girl’ in the class. So I was made to change by myself. And for me, I internalized this as a type of shame. Because they saw me as different; but I wasn’t. Not to me.

I tended to admire men and so I tended to play with boys and wear boy clothing. But I also played with girls in my quest to have friends. I remember the girls I thought were my friends absolutely hated me. I was unaware at the time, but when I was older I thought back to why. It came back to these gender constructs. To them, I acted and dressed as a boy. And to them, that was gross and weird. At that age if you played with the opposite sex, you had cooties. And because I was so much a 'tomboy’ in the eyes of society, the other students blamed the cootie outbreak on me. And not understanding why, I internalized more shame and self hate.

Then I moved forward, I never really identified as a boy because people told me I was a girl. Not understanding this, I just went along with my life as I was: a 'tomboy’. Every Sunday my mother forced me to wear a dress. Then one day she allowed me to wear pants and I made sure to tell everyone. This transition from forced dress, to slacks went pretty smoothly and as I was allowed to be more myself within my own house and I had basically forgotten about the idea of gender at all until my grandfather’s ghost story, and my first real experience with dysphoria. Although I didn’t understand it until many years later.

The story in short was of a boy who got bit by a snake while playing on some train tracks. Unable to completely get away before the train arrived, his male anatomy was cut off, and he bled to death. The ghost then 'created’ girls by trying to replace his own, with theirs. Now as a kid I took this fairly literally for a while. It made me feel better knowing that there was a chance, a reason as to why I was different, but so similar to other boys. Mind you at the time I was the only 'girl’ of the grandchildren. The snake part was meant to scare me, the ghost was meant to scare my cousins. Ironically, the snakes scared them, and the ghost scared me.

Things like this continued. As I filed through my memories looking for a better understanding of myself I noticed other small things. I had over time grown embarrassed of partaking in my favorite things. I quit karate, I quit competitive swimming, and I quit singing. Aligning the reasons why I noticed a pattern forming in my own life that I didn’t even notice at the time, and that is when I met Eyan.

Eyan was an openly transgender individual at my high school. At 16 his name was legally changed and the school fully recognized him as male. With no experience in this, I never said anything but was always immensely curious. Why and how were always on my mind. A year later a new tans student came forth, and this one was a friend of mine. I spoke to Kurt often; trying to understand something that seemed so strange, so against everything I had been taught and understood. The things I learned from him I never bothered to consider might align with myself, again due to my lack of social understanding, and I continued to live my life as I did. Looking back, I noted that I bonded very closely with Kurt because we were feeling the same things. He just figured it out sooner than I did.

By the time I had figured out that I was trans myself, I had also learned of the difficulties that came with it. I was twenty the first time I admitted to myself that I was transmasculine, but I was too afraid to take the steps forward. Mostly because I didn’t feel completely male. I just felt more comfortable being perceived as male since it was men of whom I wanted to imitate and be more like. I did not want to grow old as 'female’. Eventually I forgot as I always did and continued on with my life. My mental health suffers when I get reminded of gender, or if I am misgendered. But at the same time, I can take my binder off, forget about the purpose and dysphoria I felt, and then send myself out in public completely oblivious to the constructs of gender once again, at least until someone reminds me. This is why I am so passionate about ways to raise. My combined lack of understanding and internalized shame mixed with an unsupportive government made it extremely difficult for me to connect the dots.

For years, I didnt want to. My state, and everyone in my life wanted me to be female. I did not. I never was. But if it wasn’t causing me physical harm, then most of the time, I never saw the point. It wasnt until I realized the suffering of my mental health that I decided to do anything. It was something that took me nearly 20 years to even begin to understand. I am still learning to this day not only about gender, but about myself. And often, I still forget this construct even exists at all. My mind sees everyone as simply humans. It hardly, if at all goes beyond that. But when it does, I am reminded all over again, how difficult it is for myself, and others, to be accepted and respected in this world.

I hope that I can continue to learn, and become more aware as I grow into a more authentic self. And I hope that I can help others who may struggle to even see gender at all, but still feel like something is extremely different about them. To be unable to place source of so much pain an self hate is the worst feeling I have ever experienced. And I never want anyone else to go through that alone again.

-Joshua