at least get the guy right

What has been your worst "nice guy" experience?

So, possibly one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the “women want him, men want to *be* him” stuff in old movies? Well I’m a man and by *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway!

I’m having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a date. It is.. not going well. Guy was being rather creepy and making some pretty inappropriate comments, the girl doesn’t look at all comfortable.

The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly, my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says “well, least I know you can swallow right?”. Loudly.

Girl goes red and tells him that isn’t appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a “shoo” type motion and says “oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway”.

I missed her exact reply as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what was being said - fuck no, fuck off, fuck this. He responded with “sweetheart I picked you up, I know where you live”. She lost the colour in her face and said nothing.

No. No. Fuck no. I’m one of those “get involved” type of people and there is no way I’m sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m 23, fighting fit and happy to put that motherfucker through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway.

I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says “Easy.. I’ve got this one son”. Absolute, total confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my current plan amounted to “stab him in the neck” and I’m already thinking maybe that’s not the best idea, I sit down.

He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn’t have any colour in his face.

Cop: “So, I’m quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when I distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?”

Guy: “I, ah, well, um, you see..”

Cop: “That’s what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I’m deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up.”

Guy: “oh no well that…”

Cop: “But that would disrupt everyone’s dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, because I wouldn’t want you running off on me, then you go see one of the staff here and settle your bill.. the full bill now, this young lady shouldn’t go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I’ll leave it up to you.”

Guy: “No no! That’s perfectly fine!” \*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter\*

Cop: \*while writing down the guys details\* “Sorry about that miss, I hope I’m not intruding it just seemed like you could use some help. Oh and don’t worry, if you want to pursue this further I’ll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we can definitely take this further.”

Girl: “No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here”.

Cop: \*shifts from hardarse cop to comforting father figure in about half a second\* “Well I’m here with my daughter, she’s about your age, perhaps you’d like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you’d like, unless you’d prefer to call someone else?”

Girl: “Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much!”

\*guy returns, so does the hardarse cop\*

Guy: “Uh so, I’ve paid the bill, if I could have my ID back..”.

Cop: “There you go.. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don’t go near or contact this young lady ever again.”

Guy: “Yes yes of course, I’m so sorry!”

The guy pretty much fled the restaurant, the girl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap.

It was hands down the best way I have ever seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero.

dorks-in-fiction  asked:

So Anti is afraid of being abandoned, right? At least, that's what I picked up from the previous chapters of "Say Goodbye." I wonder how Mare could play around with that fear...

(I love those moments where I’m reminded that you guys are just as evil to these characters as I am. With that said *rubs hands together evilly* let’s get down to business!)

Anti is in the dark. He’s not sure how he got here or even where here is, but he is sure that the tingle running up and down his spine means that he’s in trouble. He wanders around a bit, feeling with outstretched hands for any obstacles or walls, but he never finds any.

It’s as if he’s dropped out of reality into an endless void of darkness. Had he done anything to annoy Dark recently? No, not that he could recall… He should probably fix that as soon as he gets out of here. If he gets out of here.

He glitches around for a while, trying to find the boundaries, but he never reaches any. It’s then that he hears the voices. Sean’s first.

“You cause so much trouble.”

Then Signe’s. “We were better off without you.”

They trade places, overlap, intertwine. “You’re dangerous. You don’t belong with us. We’d rather you just leave.”

Anti tries to plug his ears, but it’s inside his head. Their voices together, shutting him out and making him feel worthless. “We’re done dealing with you, Anti. We just want it to stop.”

And then their voices fade, and Anti has never felt a void in his heart so gaping and jagged, needing to be filled desperately. “No, come back!” He should know that it’s not them. This is something messing with his mind, but… but right now he’s not trying to see sense. Anti just wants them to come back.

“They don’t want you, Anti. They’re done being nice and putting up with you.” This is a new voice, one that Anti doesn’t know, the voice of a young man. “They’re never coming back. They left you here. With me.”

Anti starts running, this way and that way, but he can’t find a wall. No walls, no doors, no lights, no way out. He trips over something then and falls to the floor. On his hands and knees he crawls over to it, a body. His hands explore carefully a t-shirt, jeans, messy hair, and a cap. Chase. But he’s cold.

Anti scuttles backwards and runs into another body. Soft, cotton scrubs and a mask over his mouth. Cold, only there’s something sticky and warm, and it’s all over Anti’s hands. It’s blood, and it’s in his mouth and nose and under his fingernails. He can’t get away from it.

He did this, didn’t he? Finally broke, finally killed them. And now, now he’s alone. Truly and irreversibly alone.

Anti ducks his head between his knees, hands and arms hiding himself even in the darkness. Suppressed, ignored, unpredictable. Unlovable.

Anti can’t breathe, can’t move. He’s so struck with remorse that even when the darkness dissipates, he does nothing. Natemare looms over him, tilts his head to the side, and raises both eyebrows. “Well, that was easy. You know, everyone says that you and Dark are so tough, so scary, but you’re just scared.” Mare shrugs and starts to walk away.

“You’re not even worth my time.”

Shadows of Valentia Top 10 – #8 Clive: Only Human

“I wish I could stand by my choices, unwavering. I have always done what I thought to be right, even when my heart disagreed. But now I must face cold reality.”

Honestly I could go full tl;dr over why Clive is the flawed hero FE narratives need– as glamorous senior knight guys of considerable renown go, he’s pretty much the Leif of the group, but just because he ain’t Seth doesn’t mean he’s not an excellent character. But in-game he’s mostly talked about the same way someone like Seth gets talked about, and Seth single-handedly saves the day at least three times before the FE8 route split and the most Clive can do is to muster a dignified retreat and then look for someone competent to lead the Deliverance, so I understand the reaction he gets. 

Keep reading

Announcement

Hey guys, I’ve been making gemstones for my gemsonas lately and since I’ve been enjoying it, I’ve decided I wanna do some for the blog. And since we’ve had at least one ask before that was asking about gemstones, I feel like people would maybe want some designs.

However! I don’t want to make it unfun for me to have to make a bunch of gemstones every time I answer asks until I get tired of it. So Mod Tourmaline suggested I limit when I do it. Right now, I’m going to do a test run to see if people want this, and to see if I get burned out by it. So I’m going to open the requests on August 1st to August 2nd (starting at 12 PM PST on the 1st, and ending at 12 AM PST on the 2nd.) I also don’t want to get flooded, so I’m going to limit myself to 15 gemstones, and the slots will be first come, first serve.
We will evaluate how well this goes, and how well I can handle this. And depend on how it goes, we may continue to do this in future. Additionally, the window of time we accept gems and amount of gems we’ll have slots for may change based on how it goes, as well.

In order to keep it neat and easier to keep track of it, I’m going to ask you all to use the submit box for this. And I also made a template that you can find here that will help me be able to make your gemstone as accurate as possible. I just ask you guys to be as descriptive as you can, so I know I’m getting as close to what you want as possible~

I hope this goes well, and that I can make satisfactory results~
- Mod Sapphire ❤

anonymous asked:

Hello for the advice thingy, I guess I'd like an outsiders opinion and advice? I'm 17, 18 in 2 months, and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, nothing. A lot of people at school think I'm gay bc of this and I'm not? I've had boys approach me they're just not right for me and bc of this I feel really unlovable, like do I not deserve love? Sorry for the word dump :/

Oh my gosh sweetie no!!!! I was in a very similar situation at that age too; the most boy experience I had was hugs from my platonic guy friends and I always felt like there was something wrong with me.  I kept seeing all my friends getting in relationships or at least having boys show interest in them and then there was me, who couldn’t relate.  It’s not a fun feeling!

I wish someone had told me sooner that there is absolutely no schedule for love.  There’s no official deadline or anything by which you should have kissed someone, should have a boyfriend, should have done this or that.  There’s that saying about how love has no age and there’s honestly a lot of truth to it because everyone has those experiences at different times and that’s okay!!  Also, being able to tell when guys aren’t right for you is a really really good thing.  I’m still really picky about who I show interest in, and it’s saved me the trouble of being in bad relationships or dating for convenience alone, which is something I’ve seen happen to a lot of my friends. 

Trust me when I say I know how frustrating it can be not to have kissed or dated anyone–I didn’t have my first kiss until after high school and even now at 21 I’ve still never had a boyfriend!  How you feel is totally understandable, but not having done those things does not mean you’re unworthy of them.  You are so deserving of love and what I always say to my friends (and to myself!!) is that one of these days, someone’s going to come along who will make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else <3 

Cait :)

advice hour!

sf79  asked:

What are you wanting to get out of this page?

Right now? I’m mostly using it as an excuse to express a side of myself (cigar man/bro) I never really have before, at least not to any meaningful extent. 💪🏼Secondary reasons? I like the attention, I’m a bit of an anxious/nerdy guy in real life, so showing off has been fun and good for my ego. Also, it’s been damn difficult to find other good looking guys closer to my age also into cigars. I figure instead of me looking for them, I can get them to come to me 😈

Can I just say like… I’m not American so I can’t really know what it’s like out there right now, but I am really proud of you guys. Like, Trump - a man known to have sexually assaulted multiple women - is elected, so the women of your country not only turn out in their millions but they inspire women around the world to do the same in solidarity. He preaches anti-intellectualism, so your scientists host database hacking and saving days to preserve data. He bans government agencies from speaking the truth, so they create rogue social media accounts that spread facts even at the risk of their jobs. He brings in racist immigration bans, causing chaos in airports and huge uncertainties in the lives of real, innocent people, so protesters swarm to the airports, lawyers work pro bono round the clock to get people into the country, and people mobilise to destroy him in the high court in a day.
I know this is awful and it sucks and it’s only been one freaking week, but you guys are doing amazing right now and I am so moved and so proud. It’s gonna be tough and everyone will have to pick their battles and just keep fighting and pushing, and this isn’t how it should be but at least we know there are people with the guts and the gumption to do what they can.
You guys are the sand in the gears.

Netflix Customer Service

Alright everyone! So I’ve just finished getting off a 20 minute call with customer service. The lady that took my call was the sweetest thing. What she said? They’ve been receiving calls like crazy about the cancellation of sense8 from left to right. She also told me there have been some angry callers, but please guys, if you want something done, please be kind, being angry isn’t going to help when you’re talking to these people. She also told me that EVERY SINGLE FEEDBACK THEY RECEIVE FROM US COUNTS AND THEY TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. As she also said that Netflix is probably the only company she knows that does this. I spoke to her about the possibility of there being at least a special or a movie so we may be able to get a good and decent finale. Everything that we tell these people is being typed down and sent to headquarters. I came to ask as well about the possibility of Netflix selling the show forward and she said she wouldn’t know about that and told me that they can possibly keep making money off of sense8 if it’s still there. Make sure you guys tell them that if they cancelled it because they weren’t getting enough views; I specifically said to her “if you’re going to cancel it because it’s not getting enough views, excuse my language, but advertise your shit”. Why keep making money from a show that’s been cancelled if you’re not getting views and you’re not willing to promote it. I live in New York City and the only time there was ever something concerning sense8 here was the season 2 premiere which was amazing. Please let them know what this show means to you as well. She told me that people have called her and told her that they’re cancelling their accounts and this is happening fast where people are unsubscribing. Everything we do for this show makes a difference. She told me to lets keep our heads up and stay on the lookout which I won’t say it’s essentially a good thing but we’re doing good. So keep up the good work everyone, lets keep doing this!

Anything is possible.

The customer service line is 1-866-579-7172
PLEASE MAKE SURE TO BE KIND!

6

timmy’s secret wish is the worst episode of fairly oddparents i have ever seen :’D - forget about chloe or sparky or season 10 - this is the one where it turns out that timmy is actually 60 years old and cheated his way into never having to let go of his fairies - which results in cosmo and wanda losing Poof.

Naturally, all of this ends with Timmy getting his fairies, Poof and his youth back, without any permanent consequences or punishment whatsoever.

i cannot believe this ;____;

Be My Boyfriend

[ao3]

“Dean, be my boyfriend!” Castiel hissed.

Dean’s attention was pulled away from Charlie (who snorted into her drink) when Castiel grabbed his arm.

“Uh,” Dean said, feeling like he was missing out on some vital information. Castiel’s wide eyes were a little too bright and his cheeks were flushed with pink, indicating that he was probably a little bit drunk, though that still didn’t help clear up the situation.

“Come here!” Castiel dragged Dean by the arm across the crowded room until they stood in front of a short brunette who Dean thought was named Meg. Castiel wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist and squeezed him to his side.

“I told you!” he told Meg triumphantly. “I have a boyfriend!”

Meg looked Dean up and down incredulously. “You’re dating Dean Winchester?”

Starting to catch on, Dean put a possessive arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Yeah, he is. Got a problem with that?”

Keep reading

Truth or Truth

Requested anonymously: A one shot where the reader has never been able to orgasm through masturbation. When Dean finds out, he offers to help.

Warning: smut, masturbation

Word Count: 2300

A/N: Hope you enjoy, anon! XOXO

“Truth or truth?” Dean asks, grinning a little sideways in that way that lets you know he’s just the right amount of drunk.

Truth or truth is the game you play when you’re both feeling a little wound up, needing to blow off some steam. You’re too old for stupid dares and too nervous for dares that might actually make you touch each other, so you settle for sticking to truths. It never amounts to anything, but you both enjoy the sexy words said in the dark as you lie together on one bed, a bottle being passed between you, like you have a life and a personality outside of monsters.

Keep reading

Kissing, Interrupted.

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Peter and the reader are getting pretty steamy and someone decides it’s the perfect time to interrupt. Talk about cockblock, amiright?

Warnings: language, kissing, fluff, Star Wars, makeout sesh (holla). (Let me know if I missed any).

Word Count: 1,479

A/N: For the amazing @literallyrozie812, thanks for the request! I hope this fic gives you guys all the Peter feels. Also, I apologize if it sucks ass lol. I’m not experienced in this part of writing, so bear with me as I slowly dig my way into it! Let’s hope I did at least a 4/10. Thanks for all the never ending support, guys! As always, feedback and constructive criticism is appreciated.


Being raised as a Stark definitely has its perks, but let’s not forget about the downsides.

For instance, not being able to try out the Iron Man suit because of one accidental mistake of you blowing one up. 

Hey, it happens… right?

Or not being able to join the team on missions because it’s “too intense” or “not safe.”

Like, hello? I’m an Avenger? I deserve to participate, Dad.

And don’t even get started on boys.

Oh, lord. If he knew about Peter and you, well, let’s just say Tony’s suit isn’t the only thing that would be blown up.

Keep reading

I don’t know how to title

So, this took me way longer than I thought. Oops. This is a prompt fic for @stephaniebithell 

I hope you like it. I’ve never actually written Voltron before. Or any kind of battle. So, go easy on me.


“WATCH OUT!” Keith’s voice cried out through the Blue Lion’s speakers. Checking his screens, Lance had to pull hard to the left, just barely missing the laser coming at him. The laser would have smashed into the cockpit if he hadn’t moved, and Lance let out a small huff of breath, relieved.

“That was a close call, Lance.” Shiro berated gently, “You need to be more careful, alright?”

Lance nodded before cracking a smile. “Come on, Shiro! Careful is my middle name!”

Hunk cut in, confusion evident in his voice, “I thought your middle name was Alejandro?”

Laughter echoed over the coms, and Lance pouted, whining, “Hunk, buddy! Who’s side are you on, man?”

Dodging another laser, Hunk replied, “The one where all of us get out of this alive? Does that count?” He dodged a few more lasers, firing a few shots of his own, panting slightly.

“Hunk’s got a point, guys,” Shiro reminded them. “Can the chatter, those lasers are still coming.” There was acknowledgement from all the other paladins, and Shiro sighed in relief. “Alright, here’s the plan. Lance, Hunk, you guys hang further back, try to pick them off from a distance. Stop anything that gets past us. Keith, Pidge, your lions are faster and smaller, I need you covering me. Take out the little guys. Black and I will target those turrets. Understood?” Confirmation came from the others, and everyone moved into position.

Everything went well for several minutes. Shiro had knocked out all but two of the turrets, and Lance and Hunk’s teamwork had destroyed at least a dozen big cruisers and battleships. Some of the larger ships had started to retreat, and Lance and Hunk targeted those as well. As one was coming up on Lance’s left, he saw Green, down and to his far right, with a small ion cannon pointed right at its flank. Making a split-second decision, Lance turned his lion and fired, taking out the ion cannon and saving Pidge. He started to turn back to his original position, but he was too late. Before he could react, a laser cut straight through his hull, sending poor Blue tumbling. Lance was strapped in, so he stayed in place, but as the others’ yells came over the com, a piece of debris slammed into the back of his head, and everything went black.


When Lance came to, the battle was over. Black was towing Blue down to the planet’s surface, where the castle and the planet’s inhabitants were waiting. As he came back to his senses, Lance began to hear the others.

“Lance! Kiddo, can you hear me?”

“Lance, buddy! Come on, tuagane, wake up, man!”

“Lance, you big doofus! Wake up!” (“Pidge!” “Sorry.”)

“LANCE! Lance, please! Dammit, Lance! Wake up! Talk to me!”

Finally, finally, Lance could move a little. “Ugh…. Keith?”

To Lance’s aching head, it was as though a full orchestra had exploded onto the coms.

“Alright, Lance! You’re okay!”

“You asshole! Don’t do that to me ever again, you hear me?!” (“Pidge! Language!”)

Hunk was now blubbering incoherently, Pidge was raging, and Keith was strangely silent. Just as the noise was getting to be too much, Shiro’s voice cut through the mayhem, muffling everything else like a blanket, “Lance. Are you okay? Can you answer me? You were out for a while, buddy. I need to know if you’re okay.”

Lance took several deep breaths, settling the nausea his headache was causing, before answering softly, “I-. I think I’m okay, guys. I have a killer headache, and I’m a little nauseous and light-headed, but I’m okay. Might have a concussion, though.” With that, most of his energy spent, he slumped back into his seat.

“Okay, Lance,” Shiro breathed. “Do you think you can stay awake for me for a few minutes? We’re almost back to the castle. I’m sure you’re really tired, but if you can put off sleeping for just a couple of minutes, I want Coran to check you over in person. They’ve already got a pod waiting and everything. Can you do that, kiddo?” Lance murmured an assent, and Shiro let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Alright, buddy. Thank you.”

Shiro looked at his monitors. The landing was coming up. “Alright, buddy, we’re right there. I’m going to put you down now, in 3 – 2 – 1.” With that, the blue lion was placed very gently on the ground next to the other three lions, which had already landed. Once Blue’s jaw opened, Hunk and Coran rushed inside, while Shiro landed Black. By the time Shiro had left the cockpit, Lance was out of his lion, and Allura was talking to the natives, Keith beside her.

Shiro went to Lance first. Looking Lance over, he glanced to Coran. “Coran, how is he? He was out for at least fifteen minutes.”

Coran smiled gently. “He’ll be just fine, number one. A few vargas in a pod and he’ll be good as new.”

“Thank you, Coran. Hunk, will you help him?”

“You don’t even have to ask.” With a small smile, Hunk pulled one of Lance’s arms over his shoulder and started moving towards the castle. Coran followed.

Now that he knew Lance was safe, Shiro could deal with the natives. Or, more accurately, deal with Keith, who looked to be one wrong word away from pulling out his bayard. As Shiro came closer to the group, he started to hear some of the conversation.

“-yes, you’ve said that the boy’s role is to be the blue paladin, but what else does he even do? What does he contribute? From what I saw, all he did was hang back for most of the fight, and make jokes for the rest of it!” Ah. Now he was starting to understand Keith’s murderous expression. Not to mention the low, continuous growl coming from Blue.

Allura cut him off. “It is not your place to question not just my choice of paladins, but the choices of the lions themselves. The blue lion chose Lance, and as such-“

“Princess Allura, I meant no disrespect, to you or the lions. I was simply concerned. Voltron is the universe’s only real hope of stopping the Galran Empire, and if its members are not efficient, perhaps-“

Shiro cut in, mouth a hard line, shoulders tense, as he stopped Keith from doing anything rash. “If you know about the joking, then you were listening to the coms. If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that I gave the order for the blue and yellow lions to hang back. Those two lions are larger, and therefore slower, but their weapons are strong. In this situation, they were much better suited for stopping the larger ships, and picking off stragglers. Lance especially works best at a distance. He’s the best shooter we have. Long-distance is his forte. Those assignments were the most efficient use of our resources.” The native was about to interrupt again, and Shiro bit out “On top of all of that, Lance was injured defending your planet. You would do well to remember that, and to show him the respect he deserves.”

When he was done, Shiro turned to Keith. Keith was still seething. “Shiro, did you hear what he was saying about Lance?”

“I heard him, Keith.”

“Lance could have died, Shiro! And that guy was treating him like a waste of space. Space garbage!”

“I know that, Keith.” Shiro’s voice was strained. He was angry, too, but there was nothing they could do.

“I’m gonna go back over there and teach that guy a lesson-“ Keith started to turn back around, bayard in hand, but was spun around by Shiro’s hand on his shoulder.

“You can’t attack the guy, Keith. He’s a diplomat. Let Allura handle it.”

“Can’t I just punch him in the face?” Keith pleaded.

“NO, Keith.”

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

“I said, NO, Keith.” Shiro spun to face him. “We can’t do anything. Allura can handle it. Now let’s go back to the castle. Lance will be healed in a few hours. I saw how anxious you were. I know you want to see him. And when he wakes up, I’m sure he’ll want to see you, too.” With that, Keith relaxed, sighing in defeat, and went on to the castle.

Shiro stood there for a moment, composing himself, before moving in the same direction. Before he got there, he heard one last parting shot. “You know,” the native drawled, excessively loud, “if the so-called blue paladin were a better pilot, he wouldn’t have been hurt in the first place-“

CRUNCH. Before anyone could move, Shiro snapped. He had rushed back, pulled back a fist, and slammed it straight into the obnoxious native’s nose. Without a word, Shiro wiped the blood off his hand onto the man’s shirt, and walked straight back into the castle. The look on that jerk’s face was definitely worth the difficulty Allura had negotiating an alliance several days later, and when Lance woke up, his laughter over the story gave Keith the brightest smile Shiro had seen on his face in years.


If you guys want me to write what happened in between when Lance was unconscious, let me know.

Falcon Punch, monk style

(Background:  The DM for this wanted us to bring our best Pathfinder characters for this campaign.  The party consisted of a kitsune fighter, an orc unchained rogue, a kobold celestial-bloodline sorcerer, a tiefling life-mystery oracle, and my half-elf monk.  After fighting our way up out of a dungeon we’d been trapped in — and pretty well depleting our resources in the process — the DM wants his wizard character, the recurring villain of the campaign, to mock us before we actually escape.  He does so from the other side of a fifty-foot-wide chasm with no visible bottom.)

Villain:  [Standard hammy villain monologue with over-the-top gloating and taunting]

Kitsune:  [Orc], will you shoot him to at least get him to shut up?

Orc:  Can’t.  Out of ammo.

Kobold:  Hey, don’t look at me, guys, all I’ve got left are cantrips.

Tiefling:  I can barely even see the other side.

Kitsune:  Grr.  I don’t wanna have to listen to this guy.  Does anyone have a ranged attack that can at least get his attention?

Me:  Not exactly, but…  How wide is that chasm, again?

Tiefling:  *Snickers, knowing my monk from another campaign.*  Uh-oh…

DM: Uh, fifty feet.

Me:  Okay, I spend my last point of ki for the bonus to jump and leap across.  This should be a surprise round, right?

DM:  (after nearly choking on drink) Um.  Okay, yeah, DC 50; I hope you have another character ready.  Roll acrobatics.

Me:  Don’t need to, the lowest I can roll is a 66 after the point of ki.

DM:  (almost spittakes, with the rest of the party either snickering or stunned to silence) Seriously!?

Me:  *Presents character sheet.*

DM:  *Takes a few minutes to verify the ludicrous number of bonuses.*  …Oh goddammit.  Yeah, I guess this is happening, roll to attack.

Me:  Stunning Fist, get ready for his fort save.  *Rolls 17 on the die.*  Uh…

DM:  (before I can math up bonuses) I hate you.  *Rolls a 4 on the fort save.*  So.  Much.  So yeah, he’s in mid-monologue and you launch yourself across a goddamn bottomless chasm and punch the squishy wizard in the face.  Roll damage.

Party:  *Laughing hysterically!*

Tiefling:  Falcon Puuunch!

(Cue the entire table, including the poor DM, completely losing it for the next few minutes.  I proceeded to flurry of blows the Big Bad’s right hand man into an unrecognizable pulp over the next two rounds while the party cheered me on.  I looted the body, threw him into the chasm, and then could just “take 10” to jump back across.  It was my only session in that campaign, unfortunately, but I’m told it took a few weeks for the DM to work out how to get around the damage I did to his plot.  I understand he now takes excessive precautions before letting his villains run off at the mouth, since a DC 50 acrobatics check is apparently not enough.  This isn’t the first campaign that particular monk has mangled the plot of, either, but it is the most spectacular instance, and the only time she almost wrecked a campaign during its first session.)

Rent-a-Boyfriend™

Words: 12k
Genre: Extreme fluff for all you bitter people out there (me being included)
Read the sequel drabble: here
Read more at Service Series 

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17TH OF MAY SPECIAL

THE GUYS: Dab, dab, dab, dab, dab, dab!!

[HEY BRISKEBY]

MUTASIM: Yes, we love…* Today, it’s the 18th of May, so we’re going to have a, boom, 17th of May special.

ELIAS: What are you doing?

MUTASIM: Bro..

ELIAS: You know this is my Youtube channel, right? And then you come with this 17th of May stuff..

MUTASIM: Look, look, look how tired this guy is and I’m like fresh.

MIKAEL: He has a bowtie.

MUTASIM: Bowtie! I got this, understand?

MIKAEL: [Singing]

ELIAS: But what’s the thing with the 17th of May? Why do we celebrate the 17th of May?

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So one thing i’ve noticed about Shiro that i totally and absolutely adore for several reasons (one of them being that it lines up with my hc that Shiro would be an epic Cedric Diggory type hufflepuff in an hp au) is that Shiro is not an OVERprotective type.

Lemme explain why this is good and how.

We know that Shiro is protective of those he loves, I’m not saying he isn’t protective (AHEM STEPPING IN FOR MATT) but what i am saying is that Shiro isn’t SO protective that he belittles the strength and abilities of the people he cares about; which is a trait too often glorified in heroes, especially concerning the male hero to the female. 

Exhibit A) S01E10. Allura says that she’s going with them to break into the space base and everyone’s looking at Shiro like “dude you can’t let the princess join us on a such a dangerous mission”

and Shiro’s just like “sure, why not?”

while everyone else reacts like this:

Obviously, because of genre expectations, we would expect Shiro to say something along the lines of “no way we can’t endanger the princess like that” so it comes as a bit of a surprise, a good one of course, when instead of insisting Allura can’t come that he has no issues with it. He doesn’t even look conflicted, he has no idea why Allura shouldn’t be allowed to come! That’s because our little cinnamon role knows what’s up and he understands that Allura is strong, capable woman. At the very least he knows that he has no good reason to assume otherwise (even though there’s some pretty funny scenes once they’re in the base and Allura doesn’t even know how to hold a gun). But you get my point.

To summarize Exhibit A: This scene is a VERY REFRESHING change from the standard “i must protect the princess, the princess is incapable of protecting herself, which means i’m the only one allowed to do dangerous things” narrative. Shiro does not judge a person’s adequacy based on unfounded preconceptions. This is a SUPER important quality in a leader. Also, this means he isn’t sexist. 

Exhibit B) S02E12. 

Keith offers to be the one to go into the ship to make sure what was supposed to be Thace’s job gets done. Kolivan says it’s a suicide mission and that he would never command anyone so inexperienced do it when Keith replies:

And of course Shiro, being the head of Voltron, is the next person who would have a say in this - who should be the one to talk Keith down. But he doesn’t. Instead he says this:

This demonstrates that Shiro, understanding who Keith is, knows that there is no stopping Keith which means the best thing for Shiro to do is make sure Keith gets to the ship safely. 

This is very similar to what he did with Allura. He doesn’t stop her from going on the mission, but insists he goes with her (i didn’t touch on that above but we know that happened).

So let’s just talk about what this means for a second. Shiro cares about Keith. We know he’s totally worried about Keith’s safety because he LITERALLY has to take a breath to COMPOSE HIMSELF before he says this. He does not want Keith to do this, he does not want anyone for that matter to be risking their lives. But this is war. I’m sure Shiro wishes for nothing more than to be able to trust that Thace will do his part. But Keith can’t rely on that, and Shiro knows that he can’t either. And they shouldn’t because they can’t be taking any chances with this fight.

So Shiro lets Keith do what Keith needs to do, what they all need Keith to do. Shiro chooses to trust Keith’s abilities, and doesn’t undermine Keith’s determination. This whole war is bigger than all of them! Keith is not just Shiro’s probably younger friend, Keith is a fellow paladin of Voltron. Keith is his equal, not some helpless child who needs to be kept out of harm’s way and given the least dangerous task because he has no right to be involved or because he doesn’t want Keith to get hurt. 

So Shiro says “I’ll give you cover.” Because Shiro protects those he cares about. And because he REALLY TRULY cares about Keith, and Allura, and everyone, he knows what they’re capable of. He trusts them. He doesn’t let his need to protect them belittle them. 

OVERALL: I just think this says so much about Shiro and the type of hero role he plays, especially as a leader it is so important that his protective side is not also oppressive. Shiro’s the kind of guy who would die WITH his friends, not just the classic FOR his friends. Shiro doesn’t undermine the people he loves like that, they’re all his equal, they are all capable human (or not human or half human) beings. 

If the people he loves wants to fight then they deserve to fight, that’s their right and not his decision to make. But he sure as hell doesn’t have to let them do it alone so he goes with them. He helps them however he can.

And quick flashback to the Matt situation. The only reason Shiro stepped in like that was because Matt clearly did not want to go into the ring. I think if for whatever reason Matt really wanted to fight that dude (maybe for his own revenge or something) Shiro wouldn’t have taken that away from him. But Matt was not ready, Matt was freaking out and Matt did not want to fight. So Shiro did it for him cuz THAT is the Shiro way.

(sorry this was probably way longer than necessary, I’m not very concise but I haven’t seen a post about this so i thought i’d try my hand at making one) 

You Deserve Punishment (M)

Description: You never wanted to see them again, you couldn’t bare facing them in the eyes. Not after what you witnessed. It would forever haunt you. Why? Because you discovered their dirty little secret; Park Jimin was the lover of Min Yoonji, who was actually a man.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader x Yoongi

Genre: Smut (M), angst, university!au

Word Count: 6,350

A/N: Extreme vulgar language use. Name calling, and heavy dom/sub undertones. There is also a lot of yaoi (boyxboy) action. Graphic descriptions of sex (oral, etc…) This is a mature read! You have been warned!

Originally posted by bellahasjams

Never in a million years, would you have expected to walk into a full 500 student lecture, only to easily spot the two people you never wanted to see again. There was a big lump held in your throat, as you quickly ducked your head down to find an empty seat. Unfortunately for you, the only empty seat you found was exactly a row behind these certain individuals. Trying to sit down as quietly as possible, you mentally screamed, You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Since when did they come here?!? How could I not have known?!?

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“A Secret That’s Worth It” Carl x Reader, Negan x Reader

Word Count: 9,670

Negan x Daughter Reader, Carl x Reader

Summary: You’re Negan’s teenage daughter and from the minute you saw Carl, he sparked your interest, leading to a relationship between you two.

Warnings: Language, fluff, angst, mentions of death, kinda smutty 

A/N: Does not follow the show exactly, I had to change up some things for the sake of the story, but I tried to make it as close as possible.


Originally posted by lets-letmeimagine-posts

Originally posted by lets-letmeimagine-posts


He was the first person you noticed when you stepped out of that RV.

He was wearing a flannel and a cowboy hat, and even with one of his eyes covered up and it being dark out, you could see how bright blue they were. You didn’t know his name, but you certainly were attracted to him.

Your father, Negan, had told you to stay inside the RV while he went out there and talked to them. He had told you that he was going to kill one of them and that he didn’t want you to see that, so you needed to stay away.

“Y/N, I do not want to see you out there. Your ass better stay in here, alright?” Negan had warned you. You didn’t listen. You had heard him talking to their group, and you got curious. All you wanted to do was see what they looked like, nothing more. You opened the door slightly and peeked your head out, making the attractive boy turn his head and look at you. They all did, but he was the only one you noticed.

“Dear daughter, did I not tell you to stay inside?” Negan bellowed. You knew he was trying to scare the group- that was his way of being a big, bad leader. He intimidates everyone. And by the look of everyone’s face, they were definitely afraid.

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