Avengers x reader
Warnings: heavy mentions of sexual abuse. some fluff at the end.
Disclaimer: I know many fic writers do not write things like this and I myself would not normally write something like this. However, this was written for me by me to help not only wrap my mind around what I have experienced in the relationship I was just in, but to also make me feel as if I’m not alone and I have people to lean on (which I do not in real life because my now ex-boyfriend made me give them all up.)
All credit goes to Marvel.
She sat on the edge of her bed, knees pressed to her chest as she stared out at the night sky from her window. The moonlight did little to illuminate her room, the darkness masking Steve’s shadow as he stood in her doorway. He watched her, waiting. He knew this was wrong, but he didn’t believe that she was keeping it together as well as she claimed to. Her shoulders raised in what looked like a sob, and as Steve was getting ready to rush into action and console her, she let out a long breath, dropping her head back and lolling it around in a stretch. Steve pressed his lips together in a firm line, before exiting the room, quietly closing the door on his way out.
Y/N bit her lip to remain as silent as possible until she was sure Steve was out of ear-shot. That’s the thing about him- when he’s not on a mission, when their lives weren’t on the line, he wasn’t stealthy. At all. The dark might have masked the shadow, but his reflection in the window was still visible.
Sighing, which she seemed to be doing a lot of lately, she crawled into bed, Bucky’s sweatpants and a t-shirt he had brought home for her after a simple mission covered her body, but she still felt uncomfortably exposed, even after tucking the blankets as close to her body as possible. She checked her phone, hoping to see at least one text message from an old friend, but nothing. She shoved it off the bed and it hit the ground with a loud thud. Burying her head in her pillow, she tried a million different things to distract her of what he had done to her and her life, but no dice. He was all she could think about.
She felt betrayed. She felt violated. She felt hurt. But most of all, she felt dirty. It seemed like all she had been doing lately was taking showers, hoping that somehow it would wash away the mental scars she had been harboring.
While she was happy and proud of herself for getting out of the relationship, she wished she had gotten out of it before this happened. Or in this case, before the past 6 months happened. She itched at her skin when her skin crawled at the thought of him touching her again.
She nearly jumped out of bed at the overwhelming thoughts and began pacing around her room quickly, as if she was looking for something. Her hands went up to her ears and she could feel a scream coming on and she bit the insides of her cheeks to suppress it. She dropped to the floor, bent over with her face to the ground as she willed the memories to die off. Her whole body felt the pain of the thoughts radiating through her.
Sniffling, she pushed herself off the ground and onto her feet, wrapping her blanket tightly around her. She walked out into the hall where all of her team’s bedroom doors were. 10 doors, 5 on the left, 5 on the right. On the left was Bruce’s, yours, Nat’s, Clint’s, and Bucky’s. The right was Steve’s, Sam’s, Thor’s, Tony’s, and Wanda’s.
Y/N knew that her team had opened up an “open-door” policy where she could come in any time of any night if she couldn’t sleep. Usually, she’d sleep with Bucky or Wanda. But tonight, she felt so lost in her own thoughts that she couldn’t even decide that. She looked sadly at each door, tears forming in her eyes out of pure exhaustion. It was only one in the morning, an early night for the Avengers, but tonight, they were all snug in bed, sleeping blissfully, and Y/N envied them. Not being able to decide and certainly not wanting to go back to her room, she plopped onto the hallway floor in between Nat and Clint’s doors.
Using the fluffed up corner of her blanket as a pillow and the rest of it to keep her warm, she forced herself to close her eyes and slowly but surely drift off to sleep.
30 minutes later found Sam and Bucky walking back from an evening sparring session, laughing quietly to each other as they entered the living hall. Sam was the first one to stop when he saw Y/N sleeping, her back pressed as close to the wall as possible and using a portion of her blanket as a pillow. Bucky stopped second and they looked at each other, knowing what this was about. He went to approach her, but Sam reached his hand out, putting it against Bucky’s chest to stop him from getting closer. “I think she’s saying something.” Bucky gave Sam a look and pushed his hand off, slowly getting closer until he was kneeling next to her. He leaned in closer and as soon as he heard the words rolling loosely off her lips, he sat back, looking at Sam with a look that said it all.
Sam followed Bucky, and he felt his heart break. She was repeating, “ruined” like a broken record. Bucky pursed his lips together and put his arms out, ready to grab her and take her back to bed with him, but Sam stopped him.
“I have a better idea.”
The next morning, Y/N quickly felt all the bones in her body hating her for sleeping on the floor before she had even opened her eyes. She turned to roll over and face the wall when she heard snoring coming from next to her head. She peeked one eye open, confused.
And that was when she saw it.
Each and every Avenger, including Vision, were positioned like a Tetris board beside her. Each in their own sleeping bag and pajamas.