I've officially seen it all
Context: So I started a new campaign with some friends, and one of the players made a character named Scruffy, who’s literally just a janitor, with Talent sets for stealth, using his mop as a weapon, and sassing opponents. The party gets sent to an allied country to help take care of a Hive threat, and during their free time before heading out, they find an arena called the Prison of Elders. Scruffy decides to enter, and faces off against a career gladiator.
Scruffy (OOC): Alright, I’m going to spend a Fate Chip and activate MM-HMM at the Ultimate level. I call four. *rolls 1d6 and gets a 4* He takes -2 to all stats he has points in.
Me (GM): *exasperated sigh* alright, you successfully MM-HMM him. This twelve-foot Eliksni beast seems to shrink by half a foot. What else are you doing?
Scruffy (OOC): I’m charging at him, and rolling Fitness to get as close as possible.
Me: You make it about 50 feet, and that’s your turn. The gladiator also charges forwards and is now right in front of you. He’s trying to shove his shotgun in your belly. Roll Initiative.
Scruffy (OOC): I notice… I got a crit to dodge.
Me: Not only do you successfully dodge, you plant your mop in the metal floor and pole-dance to avoid the shotgun blast. He is very confused. Your turn.
Scruffy (OOC): I’m smacking him with my mop. *rolls* HOLY SHIT THAT’S A TRUE CRIT!
He then shows me his dice, he indeed gets a true crit.
Me: Fucking okay, let me paint this word picture in everyone’s heads. These two come out on either side of the arena. They bow, and then Scruffy MM-HMMs at his opponent and charges forward. The gladiator also charges forward and tries to shove his shotgun in Scruffy’s belly, but Scruffy plops down his mop in the metal floor and pole-dances on it, making the shotgun blast miss. Scruffy then gets off his mop, brings it around in a hammer-swing and smacks this poor gladiator upside the head so hard that his helmet shatters and he hits the ground dead. This gladiator had a 5 armor and 35 HP, and you literally did exactly enough damage to one-tap him in less than 10 seconds. I need to fucking retire I’m so done right now.
Scruffy: I know better than to bring a knife to a gunfight. That’s why I bring my mop.