at 1 am in the morning yesterday


3/1/17 9:32 AM // studying physics and SAT stuff this morning in my second study space I arranged yesterday. It has absolutely nothing around it, just a table, and I have to carry the things I need from my study room. So far it’s proven to be effective for maximizing concentration, maybe you could try it :)

10 ways to attract positive energy

1. Love and accept yourself as you are right now. Start a list to remind yourself of all your wonderful qualities. Add to it every day.
Example: I am the most positive person I know.

2. Free yourself from past resentments and disappointments about who you were yesterday. Stop engaging in self-blame and guilt for past acts and omissions. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Revel in it. As Scrooge announced on Christmas morning, “I am not the man I was!”

3. Let go of any and all resentment you’re hanging onto about everyone and everything else. Stop looking for reasons to criticize and blame others for their acts and omissions. Let go of your desire to control others. The past is gone. It is what it is, and cannot be changed. Let it go.

4. Stop giving your power away. Use your time, energy, and vitality wisely. Every time you choose to focus on a negative, you are depleting your reserves rather than re-charging your batteries. Focus on circulating and re-circulating positive, life-affirming ideas.

5. Use creative visualization and your imagination to your advantage, not your detriment. Instead of picturing worst case scenarios, see things as you want them to be. Visualize yourself doing things in a state of perfect health.
Visualize ideal outcomes and happy endings, not dire consequences.

6. Do not speak of your illness, or dis-ease with others. The more attention you place on what you don’t want in your life, the more energy it absorbs. Remove your attention from your dis-ease. Put your focus and attention on the things in your life that make you feel good.
Starve your illness and dis-ease by refusing to dwell on them.

7. Love is the antidote to fear. If you appreciate the many blessings in your life, and express gratitude for anything and everything, you begin to flow in a healing bath (rather than languishing in toxins). Develop an attitude of gratitude by making a list of all the things you are grateful for, including increased health and vitality. Be grateful for the health and well-being coming your way.

8. Recognize that you have the power to heal yourself. That healing power flows from the thoughts you think. Allow positive thoughts to circulate, eliminating stress and boosting your immune system. There is no such thing as incurable. Miracles abound.

9. Be HAPPY. Appreciate this moment. Resist nothing. Love yourself and others. Be grateful for small blessings. Make happiness your number one priority. When you remain positive, you summon well-being, and vanquish illness and dis-ease. When we exist in a state of happiness, we boost our immune systems and allow our bodies to use energy reserves for healing.
10. Laugh! Laugh again! Watch funny movies and recall memories that make you laugh. Once you access the joy within, let it expand to fill your entire being, crowding out illness and dis-ease.

Deepest Darkest Secret

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Chapter 11. Simon.

I hear the shower running when I wake up. I frown, opening my eyes and turning to check the clock. Baz is rarely up before I am, but it sounds like he’s getting an early start this morning. Probably plotting something –

I bolt upright just as the sound of the shower cuts off. Everything from yesterday flashes through my head.

Right. Soulmates. Not plotting. He fell asleep in my bed, in my arms, after we’d kissed for hours. I bring a hand up to my lips, and they feel chapped and raw.

I close my eyes and fall back against the pillow, smiling. Everything is different now.

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HannibalCon RDC3 - day 1. Personal recap

So yesterday was the day that so many of us feverishly anticipated and dreaded :), the actual possibility of meeting Bryan Fuller, Hugh Dancy, Aaron Abrams, Scott Thompson, Demore Barnes and Ellen Muth! I mean. What -are- the chances?

I flew over Friday morning (having dreaded flying in that storm but it did die down that night, fortunately) with Alex and we made our way over to arrive at 10 am, to photos of other Fannibals on Twitter already, though the hotel was still very much empty. Good to take photographs :)

I got upgraded to the next room level (which is why I can now drink coffee while writing this at 5:30 am (thank goodness)). By afternoon the lobby was filling slowly, flowercrowns everywhere. A truly elevating atmosphere, because even though I’m not really a flowers and frilly stuff kind of gal, it just is incredible to watch. Btw the bloody flowercrown @idontfindyouthatinteresting made for me drew many compliments (thank you, again!)

Registration openend a bit early and people went queuing until the main ceremony started. Incredible, there were soooo many people there, so many beautiful cosplays already. @lovecrimecat came by and we distributed the flyers for @radiance-anthology flyers to those standing in line, managed to meet so many of those who signed up (yay), got little gifts in exchange from so many people (and everybody just gave me a second one when I asked so I could give them to Katrina who couldn’t come - so awesome of you guys, thank you again!). I met so many people ‘from’ Twitter and it’ so nice to recognize some from last time, to put name and face to the @s. *hugs at all*

Opening ceremony.
I have a gold ticket this year so I went up front and sat next to SpiceyScorpion, only to realize that -that- was way to much in front for my nerves …. *rolls eyes at self*. I went a few rows back and to the side, which was a good decision for later^^.
“They” came in a few minutes to late, we saw Aaron and Scott do shadow theatre behind the scenes and Sean called them out one after the other.

Demore seemed honestly happy to be there, addressing us with such kind words, upping the applause and calling backstage that that could not possibly be topped*fg*. Aaron came out and asked us to clap for Hugh because he was supposedly afraid he wouldn’t get any ^^^^^, Scott said something along these lines as well, I think. Both very funny. Ellen was there^^ and addressed us with a few kind ords and then Sean announced Bryan next and the room (not in any way quiet before) went -wild-. And Bryan…. Bryan went “crowdsurfing”. Meaning he ran through the aisles and high-fived us. You know that sitting to the side decision? Yeah….
What a moment, there’s lots of pictures in the Tag #HannibalCon, go and look, it was…. incredible. God bless. Anyway Hugh came out last, announced by Sean as one of the best british actors, and boy, that was applause^^. He seemed a bit overwhelmed with the energy there^^ and honestly, I can’t quite remember what he actually said but it was something along the lines that he was looking forward to a wonderful weekend.

They came out together after that and we held up the signs that @the-winnowing-wind distributed - “Fannibals Forever”…. They took videos and photos of us. Bryan posted some of it later. Incredible moment to have been part of. I’m even in Bryans video (yay^^ (and if you know where to look^^)).

The gold ticket holders went across the hall next, to a slightly smaller room with tables set up and we were seated by group/friends. And then we waited, because they got something to eat first…. (darn^^^). Colleen got out some booze and we talked a lot and proverbially bit our nails a lot *g*. When they finally got in they were sent to the various tables for 4-minute-meet-ups. Only the meet-ups didn’t stay at 4 minutes :P.

Demore was first and I was soooooo nervous. (The seat next to me was free btw, and so the -all- ended up sitting right next to me (*still screaming about that*. …. ) I shook my hands in the air in an effort to get rid of some of the energy and he put his hand on my shoulder asking me why I was nervous and I brabbled something unintelligible and shook my head. Very sweet. We talked a bit about his fight scene with Mads and that we would have liked to see more of him^^ and I told him I can’t wait to see him in American Gods and he rubbed my back when he left. *float*

Next was Scott, who brought his pizza and drank some mooneshine with us^^, played Tarot with us and was generally just this very kind and interesting person. I wasn’t -quite- that nervous anymore by then (thanks Demore (and Colleen for the prosecco)), meaning I actually talked a bit, though I can’t quite remember what^^.

Ellen was next and she was also very nice, we talked about the fact that her scenes are imho some of the most scary in Hannibal. She also wore some of the coolest jeans I’d ever seen^^.

Ok. Next? BRYAN. He saw the Will!Faun scarf of @flying-rotten we had put on the table cloth and chuckled that he knew who -we- are waiting for and that he couldn’t blame us^^. He asked us, if push came to shove, if we would prefer Will & Hannibal S4 or SotL. Our table was Hannigram, though there was apparently one that was 'done’ with it…. He told us about it a bit, much the same that Hugh has said before as well, that it would be an inversion of S1 etc. I…. hope that push does not come to shove, because he told us a bit about how much he loves the lyric of Thomas Harris books and I would really love for him to be able to fully lay out his vision. I hope he gets to do this (we have to continue to fight, guys!!!). He also told us, that Thomas Harris apparently writes a new book and he…. poked Martha to get the rights to it already, without quite knowing what it was about yet *g*.

I…. took all my courage then and showed him one of the Radiance-Flyers and explained a bit and we asked if he wanted to do a little something like a foreword for it. And guys - HE DOES! He asked when it would need to be done and I said May 1st and he looked at the flyer and indicated the twitter @ there and asked if he should send it there and I was like (you know this situation, where, once you start, your mouth kind of runs away with you?! At least mine did^^^) “Oh well, yes, or you know you follow me on twitter, you can just send it there if you want” and he looked at me (directly) and said “yes, I know.” Well, RIP me. I answered with a very intelligent “ah” if I recall correctly and ducked my head and then Romina and I emphasized that it would be awesome if he actually wants to do that and finds the time.

He asked us after what drew us to Hannibal, as he got feedback from a lot of the other young women (I thanked him for 'young’, you know, once you’re in it doesn’t matter anyhow *another eye roll at self*) and we said that its not only beauty and connection, but also intelligence. You have to think with Hannibal. He recommended 'Legion’ to us and asked if we’d seen it before and I said that some stuff hasn’t made it across the big pond yet. And then Bryan went and …. not ranted directly…. but expressed his lack of understanding of the fact that things take so long to be legal and why series were not streamed worldwide because people would just go and pirate it anyway -because- it was not available legally. He went and made a (imho) very fitting anology with the conservative stance on abortions in contrast to piracy, meaning just because it’s forbidden it doesn’t stop people from doing so, it just gets unsafer and illegal.
Oh and he took photos of our table and @dr3piecesuit s and another girls tattoo, because he loves them. :) And he told us that he brought something for Hugh to wear for the Cosplay contest. Can’t wait *g*
He was called away then, way past the 4 minutes^^ and …. he is such a precious human being?! Exuding so much warmth and honesty and exuberance. I feel honored that I got to sit there.

A propos honored… Hugh was next and there I was again - nervous. Awesome. *third eyeroll* He complimented Camilles Will!Faun, saying it was very beautiful and then laughing that that was maybe a bit weird^^, and then telling us about all the gifts he gets and that he keeps the little plush Wills, giving them to his son to play with, even the bloody ones….. *fg*.
The girl next to me (@OnTheVerger) talked to him about how much Adam means to her because she has Aspergers and then broke into tears and Hugh comforted and hugged her and it was sooo sweet. We showed him the Radiance flyers as well and he said “blood fueled embraces, indeed” *g*.
Bryan ran by then and left a bitten off Babybel for Hugh. IDK if Hugh bit off that piece or if Bryan did but it was hilarious^^.

Hugh had to leave then and Aaron came to our table last, I told him I backed him and he told us about the film he and Scott are in (Scott came by and set down next to him^^) and we talked about how much we would all want to see more of Hannibal. Oh and Scott said (before) that he was supposed to teach Clarice Starling - how awesome would team Sassy Science be doing that in SotL? Seriously?
Anyway, I remember I touched Aarons shoulder in the spur of the moment talking about -something- but I can’t remember what exactly and the panicking about that. ;))

I went to my room at 1:15am, got into bed by 2am and was wide awake again at 5:15 am.

What. a. rush.

PS: This is no photos because my cameras not that good - check the Hashtag on Twitter, there’s TONS of them ;). Already ;)


Yes, it’s Monday, and here we are. I will admit that the weekend was the worst, and I am glad it is over! I am not ashamed to admit when I saw the pic someone posted yesterday of a burning ship…I got pretty emotional about it. But, I am pretty dang strong, and stubborn. I am southern after all!

While I am still not a happy camper about all of the fuckery from the weekend, I am looking with a fresh set of eyes this morning. If you have not already done so, you must read @diggsydog post. It is 100% where I am today, and she says it all.

Someone posted yesterday that it has been ALL hearts and flowers from Sam and Cait since January 4th, and then BAM…we have experienced silence since the rugby game and the fist bump. If there is one thing we have learned about Sam….he has NEVER, EVER missed an opportunity to respond, praise, tease and engage with Cait….again EVER!!! The fact that he has not speaks volumes, and it is not because of MM. Cait lands at the Bafta’s and Sam turns up in Cali….and his “gone fishing ” response???? I can take that a multitude of ways when I look at it now. And then we have a LAX sighting of Sam…..another interesting tidbit. Why wouldn’t you be with your gf for all of the wedding festivities that started when the family arrived on Wednesday? I am side-eyeing here again!

Remember the pic with Graham, and Cait said she missed them both? And look at Grahams response…we toasted you, and your ears should have been burning because she was on their mind, and part of the convo. What a way to let someone know they are on their mind.

Next thing we know….the devil went down to Georgia, and whaddaya know….wedding time. You just don’t show up at a southern wedding, but we know that certain people are not going to pass up on an opportunity, and why are there no photos with Sam? Trust me, I have attended enough southern weddings to know pics pop up the minute the reception kicks off, and it’s no holes barred! And, the fact that Sam was tweeting at 11, 1 and then 8 the next morning tells me he did not hang with the festivities for too long, if at all.

As I said yesterday, I am taking everything at face value right now. Sometimes a chair is just a chair. On the off chance that Sam is in a relationship with this chick, then they have missed the opportunity to really put that out. And, these FB people who always seem to have a “heads up”….how do you supposed they are getting this info? And, I find it interesting that this wedding info was dropped two weeks ago by others (we did not take the bait), right after….drum roll please…..the rugby game and fist bump!! Someone shut Sam and Cait down, and I don’t think it was Sam and Cait…..period.

So to Diggy’s point, Sam let everyone know with that pic in front of the map, same as NC, and same as that non-captioned pic of him and Cait right before the Bafta’s. I am still pissed at them both for all of this fuckery, but my gut is telling me something else is at stake.

So, I have been rocked, rolled, battered, and beaten by this storm this weekend. And I am on the beach covered in salt, sand, seaweed, and a little crusty , but I just stood up. After I wish this gook off, I am thinking something smells fishy, and while I am not looking for last ditch excuses, something is off. It is our job to find out just what it is. I go back to the anon from Jess yesterday…it is not what it seems….that anon definitely got that right!

I am off to find my SamCait flag. I won’t give up on them yet, and until I see something different, they are still together, just as separated by the storm as we are! Happy Monday sweet shipsters!🎣⛅☉

Safe at Last (Part 6):

Here it is guys! the last section of this fan fiction! It’s been a great ride with y’all! Let me know your reactions to the twist and if any one has tried to mimic this scene before!

Since it’s my last time posting this fic, I’ll tag everyone from Part 5 at the end. But really quick SHOUT OUT to @theassassinsbooks I am SO sorry I didn’t post yesterday! Life got in the way and I was so upset because you were dying to read it lol.  

@heirofthebookstore @samaykay912 @adiposesherlock @bats-and-hawks @ojt64 @cchcutie @micmac21 @mynamestartswithaz @huntress-of-velaris @wtfsarahjmaas @acourtofcrowsandhallows @feysand17 thanks for all the comments and supports! Its so motivating! And without further ado…..


Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

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The Forgotten Birthday

🌹I wrote my first Sirius Black fic omg. I don’t think anyone will read this or the story, so idk why I write this part of the post but if you read this, please let me know somehow if you liked my writing, ugh I’m talking a lot.

Summary: It’s your birthday today and you notice that everyone forget about you, even your best friend Sirius doesn’t talk to you. You get sad and run away to the Forbidden Forest where later someone finds you and explains everything.

Words: 1117

You woke up in the morning when you heard a strange rumble. It was your stomach. You haven’t had dinner yesterday because of the Potions essay that you had to write. Your professor got angry with the class at the last lesson yesterday when nobody listened to him, so he decided to take revenge and give the hardest homework ever.

It wasn’t the first thing what you wanted to do on your birthay since it took until 1 AM to finish your essay.

Fortunately, now you have nothing to do than have a huge breakfast and enjoy your Saturday with your friends, Lily and the Marauders. But when you looked for your roommates there was nobody, Lily and the rest of the girls were gone.

“They already having breakfast.” – you calmed yourself and after get dressed you went to the Great Hall.

Your friends were at the Gryffindor’s table sitting next to each other, but something was wrong. Nobody looked at you just for one second. After that everyone continued their conversations, James was flirting with Lily as always, Remus and Sirius had an important discussion about the last Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and Peter quickly started to reading The Daily Prophet.

“Uhm… Good morning!” – you said with a confused look.

They hummed something like “Hi” or “G’morning”, but still didn’t look at you. After you decised to don’t care about their strange behaviour, you set down next to Peter and started eating. Few minutes later Lily and the four boys left you alone.

Did I do something bad? – you asked yourself but couldn’t remember anything wrong what you could do. Remus, Lily and you helped the rest of the Marauders yesterday with the Potions homework and after they finished it, everyone said “Good night!” to you and you stayed alone in the Gryffindor’s common room to finish your own essay.

You were upset and there was nothing what could cheer you up. You grabbed you favourite book and three packs of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans flavours and you went to your secret place in the Forbidden Forest that nobody knew except Sirius. You always went there if you wanted to be alone or together.

You were having a crush on Sirius since your 1st year in Hogwarts but you were too nerveless to told him your feelings. You became best friends and it was enough for you even it broke your heart that you couldn’t have more. You were always together and had fun even during classes. Once you turned Argus Filch’s cat Mrs. Norris purple which made everyone laugh except Filch. He told Professor McGonagall it was “the black haired prankster and the bookworm girl”, but there wasn’t any proof for judge you two.

Every time when Sirius flirted with another girls or had a date, you were extremely sad and couldn’t help but cried in your bed at night. Lily was the only one who knew your feelings and tried to comfort you.

But neither Lily or Sirius was there for you this time so you were left alone with all the sadness what you could have on your birthday. You have been in the Forbidden Forest for 3 hours when you heard a familiar voice near your location.

“(Y/N)” – Sirius shouted when he found you sitting on a tree. – “We have looked for you everywhere!” – he had a worried smile on his face.

“Well, it is not that interest in me that I got in the Great Hall during breakfast.” – you said with scorn in your voice.

“Yes, I know, it was a douche thing from us. But if you go with me, we will explain everything.”

You let a sign, jumped from the tree and followed your best friend. You didn’t talk to each other on the way back to the castle. The only thing what Sirius said was the password in front of the Fat Lady’s portrait.

“Explosive candle.” – Sirius said and the Fat Lady opened the portrait. – “After you!” – he let you enter the common room first.

The room was full of with Gryffindors including your closest friends, Lily, James, Remus and Peter. They were all smiling at you and started to singing the “Happy Birthday!” song. Your heart filled with happiness and you started to cry.

“I thought… I thought you were mad at me…” – you said after you wiped a tear on your face.

“How can we mad at you on your birthday?” – Lily laughed and hugged you. – Happy birthday, (Y/N)!”

“Thank you so much!” – you smiled back.

You had an amazing afternoon. Everyone was celebrating you and did everything to make your mood better. Remus apoligised you “just” twenty times for didn’t take you into consideration even if you told him the first time it’s okay and you don’t mad at him. James and Lily started a little fight which included that James ruffled her hair and Lily hit his shoulder weakly – everyone laughed on them because they know that James and Lily liked each other and they showed their feelings in that weird way like children do. And Peter and another Gryffindors started racing about who can eat more pieces of your gigantic birthday cake.

When the party was over and everyone went back to their rooms, you smiled at the boys and wanted to say good night when Sirius looked at you with a nervous smile.

“(Y/N), can we talk, please?” – he asked you. His body language was different while he walked in front of you and you saw that his hands were shaking.

“Uhm, yeah, of course.” – you answered and saw that Remus gave a slap on Sirius’ back and smiled at him.

“Get her, padfoot!” – James whispered and they left you alone.

“Get her what?” – you didn’t understand anything. What does Sirius want to get?

“Uhm…” – he started diplomatically. – “I…So… What I wanted to say…”

“Yes, go on, Sirius.” – you couldn’t help but laughed on him. – Cat got your tong…”

But before you could finish your sentence, Sirius cupped your face in his hands, pulled you close and pushed his lips againts yours. It took you a few seconds to realise what is just happened. Sirius kissed you! Like hell he did!

“I think I’m in love with you, (Y/N)” – he said gently when you two ended the kiss.

“I think I’m in love with you too, Sirius.” – you smiled at him still surprised but happier than you ever was.

You heard Lily’s “ooohh” and the boys’ “whoo” from the background but you didn’t care about them just laughed. Sirius looked deeply into your eyes:

“Happy birthday, darling.”

He pressed his lips againts yours with more passion and love, and this time you kissed him back.

Uh… wow. New song in the credits? It’s like… creepy atmospheric whale songs? The heck–

Right. Anyway. This episode was… okay, if a bit predictable. I’ve already forgotten the song, for what it’s worth.

I rate episode 111, Three Gems and a Baby, a 6/10.

And… I have some bad news. This is the only episode I am watching today. I have multiple reasons for this.

1: Yesterday, I blogged essentially five episodes, which exhausted me to hell and back.

2: This morning, I was glued to the toilet for three hours. Right now I feel like dying.

3: My parents have started to comment that I’m getting worn down by this daily liveblogging, so I guess it really must be affecting me in the long run

4: I feel like my analytic edge has dulled since around the middle of Season 3, and in my gut I feel I’ve been doing a bad job liveblogging.

So… Yeah. Sorry. I need to rest.

I’ll catch you with more Steven Universe… in a few days. For the sake of my health. I’ll come back when I’m at my prime. No less than that.

Three Good Things: Day 7

1. Left yesterday with only 8 on the list, had 13 coming in this morning. That’s not the good part. The good part is we discharged like 5 of them. So crossing my fingers we have a manageable list again in the morning.

2. I have my first med student! Thank god they gave them to us the second week and not the first. She didn’t really get to do much today but I’m excited to help make her first ever rotation a good one. Although what the hell am I supposed to teach someone who just took Step 1 two weeks ago?? Guarantee she knows more than me. 

3. All three of us roomies had a nice yoga session today after dinner and a walk. So glad I’m able to live with my best friends one last time before I head off next year. 

Bad Daddy

Ok so i had an idea for this Fic and just wanted to write it and get it out of my system help me god I have sined. It’s my first smuty phanfic please be gentle also my first language is French so probably a lot of typos. Anyway enjoy!

Warnings: very very smuty, daddy!kink, Dom/Sub, phil!top, Dan!powerbottom, Viagra (;p), dirty talk (my favorite), swearing (ofc), praise!kink, cockslut!Dan, baby boy!dan (he’s his normal self just called baby boy), pain!kink(?), slut!Dan, and that’s about it any other that you see?

Summary: Phil received Viagra for is birthday as a joke, but the next morning Dan as a little evil plan he will put to use, let’s just say it involve him drugging Phil’s coffee.

Usually Phil his the Dom but because of Viagra and all Dan takes control for a bit, but phil regain dominance at the end. It start with Dan’s POV then Phil’s then Dan again and after its a third person POV. Tell me if you want me to do their “next time” like it said in the end (sorry for the spoiler ;p) and what you would want me to put in the Fic like what kink or a prompt or something, also I will accept critics as long as they are to help me not say that I suck ok? Please be nice…

Dan’s POV

‘What is it ?’ I asked curious. It was phil’s birthday and phil was opening pj’s gift smiling, until he realized what was the gift, his smile fell. He looked dead serious into an incontrolably laughing pj. “Are you serious pj?! You really got me those thing for my birthday!” He said throwing the medicine bottle to pj, they were Viagra pills. “Oh come on Phil I was just playing mate. My real gift is at the end of the bag” he said chuckling while reaching for the bottle of Viagra that hit Chris rather than pj and put it on the table.
“Well that’s a better gift” phil chimed seeing the little dessert flavoured candles and getting them out. “thanks Pj now Phil will have an easier job of burning the house down!” I said sarcastically. I love phil very much (even if it was a secret for our friends), but I had to play the fireman every time we were about to go out somewhere and be sure phil didn’t let a candle burning, it was annoying.

Phil opened other gifts and was really happy Chris got him a house plant (a cactus of course), we then talk and laugh and pass the time until Pj said they should go and get some sleep since it was 1 am. Me and Phil said our goodbyes and went straight to Phil’s bed and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up early and went into the kitchen and prepared breakfast before making coffee, because every time I make it, it’s like phil as a radar and smell the fresh coffee and wakes up. I made waffles of course for my daddy’s birthday and wrote in chocolate sauce 'best Daddy in the world’. Then I started making the coffee by getting the grounded coffee beans in the cupboard but remembering we brought it into the lounge yesterday. I go into the lounge get the coffee beans and Im about to go back, but stop in my track. It’s too late, I saw it, my brain is already thinking of it. With an evil plan in mind, I takes the little bottle from the table and bring it to the kitchen. I serves two cups of coffee and in Phil’s cup put one of the pills. I know it’s wrong and Phil wouldn’t want that (or would he?), but I wants to be fucked senseless by Phil’s huge cock.

Just thinking about phil’s cock in my mouth made mine twitch. I almost trip on my way to the bedroom with Phil’s waffles and cups of coffee. The smell of fresh coffee woke a smiling Phil up of course and his smile grew wider when he saw what was written on the waffles. “I’m the best Daddy huh?” He was now smirking which made me blush and giggle I loved it when Phil was like that “yes” I said almost inaudibly. “Well your the best baby boy in the whole wide world Dan” he kissed me and went back to eating.

Usually I would whine when Phil wouldn’t pay more attention to me, but I know what’s coming so I just waits like a predator on its pray. Phil finishes and I offer to watch a movie and take a day in, Phil agrees and we go in the lounge and start a Buffy marathon, to please Phil.

Phil’s POV

We were about 10 minutes in the third episode when I felt it. At first I taught the pillow was in a weird shape and tried to move it but then I felt my cock throb and knew I was rock hard. I didn’t know how it happened the episodes weren’t arousing or anything and I wasn’t even that close to Dan. I didn’t even think anything sexual, I was kind of freaking out and my cheeks started to let it be known with a crimson colour appearing on them. Oh my god how am I getting out of this one, I can’t really ask Dan to suck me off right in the middle of a Buffy episode and for no apparent reason either. Maybe I could go to the loo and take care of it myself. I quickly get up and reach the door almost running earning a questioning look from Dan.

Dan’s POV

I see him getting hard, I see him getting embarrass, it turns me on just the taught of his huge and thick cock leaking pre come begging me to just touch it. I’m shaken out of my thoughts when I see Phil running for the door, why didn’t he just ask me to take care of his problem? I’m his baby boy, I’m supposed to take care of his cock it’s my job, a job that I enjoy very much. Seconds later I hear the bathroom door close, oh no he’s not taking care of this on his own I want my daddy’s cock in my mouth and up my ass. I run over to the bathroom and open the door seeing a very flustered Phil on the toilet pants and underwear at his ankles getting off with closed eyes moaning so loud he didn’t even hear me.
“Oh fuck it would be so much better if it was Dan” phil thought aloud “I’m here Daddy”
Phil’s eye shot open looking straight at me and stoping his hand, he was getting redder if that was even possible. “You’re being a bad Daddy, touching yourself without me’ I get closer to phil ’ if I’m not suppose to do it so can’t you” I’m now on my knees in front of Phil teasingly kissing his thighs getting closer and closer to his rock hard cock and like I thought he was leaking pre come. “But now that I’m here’ I said continuing my little speech ” let’s do something about it"
Without letting Phil interrupt me I start licking his slit making him throw his head back in pleasure, I wrap my lips around his head and start sucking only making him moan louder. I suddenly stop get up and walking towards the door making Phil whimper and whine “DAAAAN!” Pleaded Phil “why’d you stop”
“Phil I am not going to suck your wonderfully large cock on a toilet get your ass in my bedroom” Phil whined kicking of his pants and underwear and resume to follow me to my room he’s the one usually commanding not me, but right now he is in such a state he will do anything to get off. Phil lays on my bed, spread his leg while I rid myself of clothing and search for the lube and other toys we could use in my dresser. I turn back only to see Phil getting off once again “HEY! Did I tell you, you could touch yourself?”
“Then stop right now” I ordered
“What if I don’t?” Phil asked cheekily.
“I am going to punish you”
Phil chuckled continuing getting of “You punishing me, yeah right. You couldn’t even….” I shut Phil up by tying up his hands “what do you think you’re doing?” He asked
“Punishing you Daddy. You didn’t stop when I asked you to, now you can’t touch yourself” I get back to the dresser take a gag and put it on my nightstand “now if you can’t keep quiet Daddy, I’m going to have to put that on you, you can moan, beg and dirty talk but no more defying my dominance and talking back to me understood?” Phil nodded which is the only confirmation I needed. “Now Daddy, the safe word is Buffy and you tell me if you want to stop ok?”
“Yes, s-sir” Phil said hesitantly
“No keep calling me baby boy, I prefer it that way” I said smiling reasurdidly
“Sure baby boy I like it that way too” he smiled back “But please baby take care of my cock”
“But I need to stretch first” I said innocently, I know he was aching, but he disobeyed me and he needed to learn the lesson, also I wanted him to fuck me hard since this morning I couldn’t wait for it either. I took the bottle of cherry lube, put some on my fingers and started to warm it up so it wouldn’t be too cold and proceeded to massage my rim with my index making sure Phil was seeing all of it. I pushed the first digit in, not taking to long to insert a second one, gasping at the intrusion.
“Oh god! You’re so hot baby boy, I can’t wait to fuck that tight little hole” Phil was now bucking in thin air desesperatly searching for friction on his cock, I took my fingers out letting my hole clench on nothing. I straddle Phil’s lap and put my ass right above his length putting my hands on his hips making sure he wouldn’t buck right into me.
“You want me to ride you Daddy, huh? Want that tight little hole stretch around your huge cock tearing it open?”
“Yes! fuck Dan get on with it” My eyes widen and I slap Phil’s lap.
“I told you to call me baby boy and told you not to talk back… Now suck my dick if you want to get inside me… If you do a good enough job I’ll ride you… Now suck!” I ordered putting both of my knees on each side of his shoulder and placing my cock on his mouth. He didn’t took long and wrapped his mouth around my head and sucked stoping once in a while to lick my slit, I knitted my hand in his beautiful black locks of hair and shoved him further down my length I looked down making sure he was ok and he looked straight back with lustful eyes praying me to fuck his mouth, so I did.

I stopped when I felt a knot form into my stomach. “Now are you gonna be a good Daddy and let me ride you the way I want?” I asked looking deep in is wonderful blue eyes. “Yes!” Phil screamed “yes baby boy!” He was at my mercy, but I wanted to tease him more, I liked the power dominating gave me so I straddle Phil’s hips once again and rubbed my ass on his length, Phil was shuddering and whimpering at the so very little friction “please…” He whispered breathlessly.
“You’re gonna have to beg better than this if you want me to ride you Daddy”

3rd person POV

Dan knew Phil would make him pay by edging him and make him beg even more once this was all done and Phil would be back to his Dominant self, but to tell the truth he couldn’t wait to be punish back. And Phil knew all he could do, to finally have release from his aching hard cock, was to beg his baby boy who was being an ass right now, but an ass he wanted to fuck so badly
“Fuck! Please Baby boy, please ride me,… I know you like my huge cock in your tight ass tearing it open,…. fucking you deep into your hole pounding your sweet spot every time making you come hard! Please baby!”
Dan sinked himself right onto Phil’s huge cock loving the burning sensation the stretch gave him, leaving Phil crying out in pleasure. Dan was bouncing on Phil, bottoming out and hitting his prostate every time. “FUCK YES DADDY! You like when I bounce on your huge throbbing dick like the filthy cockslut I am,… Am I being good for you Daddy? Is your baby boy ridding you good? Making you want to come?”
“Yes Baby you’re so good, let me touch you ” Phil pleaded wanting to fuck Dan deep into the mattress and gain back his dominance.
“Of course Daddy” replied Dan to tired to keep up his dominant side and untied Phil’s arm then throw the tie away. Phil then placed his hand on Dan’s hips and flip them over, Dan yelped in surprise but started moaning “Daddy!” Louder and louder letting Phil know he could fuck him hard. Phil thrusted harder and faster into Dan praising him “you’re so good baby boy taking my huge cock like the dirty slut you are. Who’s slut are you?"Phil asked while kissing Dan’s neck and leaving a mark.
"Yours D-daddy! Yours, and only yours!"Dan cried out in pleasure he was getting closer and closer to cumming. "D-daddy… I-I’m close..” Dan warned
“Me too baby, do you want Daddy to come on your beautiful face?’ Phil asked nipping at Dan’s earlobe 'Do you want your Daddy to fuck your mouth like you did before? You wanna taste Daddy’s come MY little cockslut?” And it’s all it took to push Dan over the edge and come all over his and his Daddy’s stomach clenching around Phil’s cock and screaming in pleasure. Phil helped him ride out his orgasm his thrust getting sloppier.

“Fuck my mouth Daddy! Fuck your baby boy’s mouth and come on my slutty face Daddy!” Phil pulled out and got off the bed standing, Dan kneel in front of him and took Phil’s dick into his mouth. Phil took hold of Dan’s hair and pushed him slowly further down his length until Dan’s nose was touching Phil’s groin. He hold the position, Dan swallowing around phil and moaned. Phil then pulled out to let Dan breathe and buck right back into Dan’s mouth fucking it hard. He fucked it harder then usual, but Dan loved it and couldn’t wait to taste Phil’s wonderful come, Phil moaned loudly letting Dan know he was close. He pulled out and started pumping his length rapidly looking at his baby boy’s face, mouth open, tongue out waiting for his huge load to spat on his face. Dan looked at him with lust filled eyes and Phil came undone spurting white ribbons of come on Dan’s face. Dan licked all the come off his face and collect it with his finger to taste it.
“Mmmhm Daddy’s come is so good and warm” he then sucked Phil and made sure none was left and swallowed it all.

Phil then fell on the bed tired from the amazing sex they just had, Dan cuddling up to him and putting his duvet on them. The Viagra had worn off and Phil was finally back to normal, but he couldn’t help wonder why he got so hard all of the sudden for no reason. “Dan?”
“Yeah?"Dan answered sleepily
"I don’t know why I got hard and I was kind of freaking out and kind of still am. What if it happens in public? We couldn’t take care of it like we just did” Dan chuckled which made Phil frown “Dan I’m being serious there was no reason I got hard I wasn’t even thinking about you”
“Well I’m glad you think about me when you get hard, but I wouldn’t worry as to why you were hard"Dan giggle when phil gave him a questioning look "don’t hate me, but…I put one of the Viagra pills in your coffee’ Dan looked down full of guilt when Phil’s furious eyes looked at him "I’m sorry Daddy, I just wanted to see what it would be like to be the dominating one” Dan softly said pouting, Phil’s eyes soften when he saw Dan’s sad face. “Oh baby it’s alright you could of just tell me you wanted to try… I quite enjoyed you making me beg… But please don’t tell me you think I need those pills to please you” now it was Phil who was sad, he was always afraid he couldn’t keep up with Dan’s stamina, he was older then his baby boy.
“Oh no Daddy! You please me enough, I just knew you would be begging for me to touch you if you were and… and I quite enjoyed it too, I would like to alternate if you want Daddy?”
“Of course baby and I’m glad I can please you, now let’s cuddle ok?”
“Ok, Daddy… I love you phil"Dan replied sleepily
"I love you too, Dan” Phil said before they both drifted to sleep already dreaming of their next time.

BTS reactions: You tell them your father is coming over in 1 hour.

Originally posted by baebsaes


“Y/N what are you doing?” he asked  after noticing that you where cleaning.

“I am just cleaning a little. I don`t want my dad to think we are dirty.” you answered while choosing a nice table cloth.

“Oh ok” there was a moment of silence. It took a little time for him to process what you just said. He jumped of the couch. “WHAT?…Your dad? When? Now?”

You stopped and turned to him. “Yes. I tolled you yesterday morning.”

“No you did not.”

“Yes I did.”

“No you did….oh….OH” You sighted. “Do you remember now?”

“Do we have enough food? I am going to make something now.”

He grabbed all the utensils and pans he needed. “When is he coming?”

“In a hour or 2.” You moved from his way. The boy was flying around the kitchen like a episode from  “ Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner”

“Ok I have time to make a gourmet meal”

Originally posted by pdmin

Yoongi / Suga

“Oppa get up.” You lightly pushed his shoulder to try and wake him up. Suga moved a little which showed you you was almost awake.

“What time is it?” He asked with closed eyes 

“10am. Now get up and put something that is not a pajama ok?” You put some clothes on your side of the bed so he could dress him self. Suga sat on the bed looked at the clothes you put on the bed then at you. “What is the problem with my pajama?”

“Oppa you are dressed like a green dinosaur. I don`t think my dad will approve of me dating a prehistoric animal.” You opened the door to your bedroom.

Suga was still half asleep. He was looking at his pajama. “But your dad doesn`t know how i look like.”

“Oh don`t worry he will fined out in 30min or so.”after answering you left the room.

“What? Baby wait ! Is he coming?” he jumped out the comfort of the bed, grabbed the clothes and ran after you yelling…”Wait!!!”

Originally posted by taestylips

Namjoon / Rap Monster 

You where making breakfast when your got a message. 

“Oppa can you read out loud the text for me?”

“Of course jagya.”he picked up your phone and slowly entered your password.

“Who is it from?” you asked.

“It is from your dad. He asks if he can come 1 hour early because he will have some work at the time you chose .”

“Tell him that it is ok.” you put the two dishes on the table. “Come lets eat.”

Rapmon got up and sat on the table with you. 

20min later

( look at the gif) “AH!” he gasped 

“Are you ok oppa? Did you choke on something? Do you want water?” you poured a glass of water for him.

“Your father is coming today?!”

“Yes didn`t you read the text to me?”

“I just got what it meant. Don`t worry jagya i will make the best first impression”

“I know you will. Now eat your breakfast so we can clean the dishes before he rings the bell.” 

Originally posted by j-ngk--k

Hoseok / J-Hope

You just got up from bed and where washing and getting ready for another day. Today was special for you your dad was finally coming to meat your beloved boyfriend. 

“Jagya which shirt should I put on? Last time I think your mom liked the green one.”

“Oppa today dad is coming because mom has some work that she couldn`t ignore.” The most randomest silence echoed in the apartment. “Oppa?”you looked from the bathroom. He was staring at a wall. 

“So  what you mean is not your mom but DAD is coming today?”


He started screaming and running around the rooms. He even flew 5 times by the bathroom door.

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Park Jimin

“Jagya, jagya, jagya, jagya” he was calling you from the balcony  

“Yes oppa?”

“Is it today?”

“What?”you asked joining him.

“Is your dad coming today?”

“Yes he is.” when he heard those words he started jumping and smiling like 4 year old child when you give him candy.

“Jagya jagya i should i act? Should i be cute oh oh I can be serious too. Look look.” ( look at gif ) 

“You look really serious oppa. You are an awesome actor.” you said half sarcastically. You patted his head and gave him a little kiss. He was just like kid but you liked that about him.

Originally posted by eggstate

Taehyung / V

“Your dad is coming right?”

“How did you know?” you were shocked how did he really know.

“Your mom called you but you were taking a shower so i picked up the phone and she tolled me.” 

“So mom tolled you hu?” you smirked 


“Did she tell you when?” you crossed your arms at him

“No but i will make him love me from the first time i promise”

“Well you have 15min to think of a strategy.” you giggled 

“WHAT 15. Ok ok. But i think I have a rally good weapon on my side.”

“Oh really and what if you by chance make him angry?”

“No one can get angry for long at this smile (gif)”

“ You are right i give up.”you hugged this big ball of joy.

Originally posted by spongecakechimchim


You were putting a couple of beautiful flowers in a vase.

“Do you like them?” someone asked you 

“I really do Jungkook. Thank you. I think that dad will like them too.”

He hugged you tightly from the back and placed his head on your shoulder.

“Are you going to send him a photo?”

“No” you answered arranging  them a little.

He crooked his head “Then how?”

“He is coming today oppa.” 

Jungkook lifted his head which was carrying a puzzled look. “You like coming here?”


“When? Now?But I am not ready yet. Will he like me?”

You turned to face him. “Of course he will who wouldn`t.”

Hope you like it guys. If you want to request something go ahead. Feedback will be very warmly welcomed. ;) 

3 uploaded with permission 

Chapter 1(part 1):New Places, New Faces

 Amelie’s POV 

 I got woken up around 6:30 am, by the blonde from yesterday.“Good Morning! I brought you your  schedule, and some clothes you can borrow!"She says happily. I nod groggily. She helpsz me out of bed and shoves me the clothes."I can only hope we’re the same bra size."She smiles. I walk into the small bathroom in the medbay. I shut the door and lock it. I dress in the clothes she gave me. She gave me a short high waist black skirt, a tight purple t-shirt, a clean pair of deep blue, underwear, a matching bra to top it off, and a pair of black flats. All surprisingly fit comfortably. My hair is down, so I’ll have to ask her for a hair tie. Overall I look pretty good, even if I look like a blueberry.  I walk out to see her talking with a guy. He has dark chocolate skin, and curly hair. He wears a black hoodie, black jeans, and black converse."May I have a hair tie?"I requested."Of course!"She chuckled. She pulled one off her wrist and handed it to me."Thanks…uhm"I mumbled the last part not knowing what her name is."Oh my, I never told you my name! I’m Angela!"Angela quipped out. I nod in acknowledgement to her statement. I look over at the guy that was in the room."Oh yeah, that’s Gabri-"She was cut off by the guy."I can introduce my self. I’m Gabriel Reyes, and I’ll be one of your guides here."He let out what I believe to be a growl at the last part."Oh okay. I’m Amelie Lacoix."I introduce myself. I held out my hand for him to shake and he takes it giving it light shake. Then someone bursts through the door."Sorry I’m late, I had to fix my hair."The guy grins. He wore a grey shirt, blue jeans, and the most revolting lime Nike sneakers. His accent was French, and I wonder how one of my own be a thing like that."Uh…Bonjour, I’m Amelie…"I introduce myself, sticking my hand out for him to shake."Ahhh, Bonjour je'ampelle Gerard."he introduces himself in French and takes my hand lightly in his own, planting a kiss on it. I make a face of disgust and pull my hand away rather quickly."Vas te faire encule , la con dégoûtant."I spit out venom at him. That was the 1st most disgusting thing that’s ever happened to me, what a creep."Oh, mon cher. Vous me aimez assez tôt."He chided, those words sent the unpleasant kind of shivers down my spine. The tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife."Oooooookay then. I have to head out, you two play nice. I don’t want to hear about Amelie being harassed during a fight."Angela chirps uncomfortably and struts out. 


The two boys and I are walking silently to homeroom, I feel eyes on me everywhere I go. Gabriel leads me up to the teacher, who is the monkey from before."Oh, Mr. Reyes. How can I help you?"The monkey asks."Hey Mr. Winston. The new chica, is here and we need to know where she sits."Gabriel explains."She sits next Jamison."Mr. Winston replies."Aw, guess we won’t be sitting together mon amour."Gerard winks. I just roll my eyes."Luckily you’ll be sitting at my table."Gabriel added. I nod and follow Gabriel to a table in the back. Two boys are sitting there already. One lanky looking one with spiky blonde hair and punky type outfit on, and across from him is fluffy boy with white hair in an undercut that’s pulled back in a ponytail in a sweater with a pig on it. Gabriel sits down next to fluffy, and I sit down next to spiky."Good'ay mate! I’m Jamison Fawkes, but you can just call me Jamie. The big guy right there is my boyfriend Mako Rutledge!"Spiky or Jamie boasts in an introduction."I’m Amelie."I mutter."Pleased to meet ya! So Amelie, who ya gonna sit with at lunch? Gabi, Mako, and I have this great place outside we hang out at during lunch, you should sit with us, cause you seem cool! So who’s your host? Is it Gabi? Has he shown you your dorm? Have you gotten a dormie-"Jamison’s rambling ended when Gabriel told him to shut up."I think I’ll take you up on that offer of sitting with you at lunch."I mused, this Jamison is pretty entertaining."Or. You can sit with me!"A voice butted in next to me. I internally groan, I see everyone at our table’s moods go down."What do you Retard?"I snarled."The names Gerard, mon amour~! And what I want is you! Why hang out with the imbeciles when you can hang out with moi?"He was determined set me off."I think she got your name right the first time."Mako butted in quietly."What did you say fatty?"Gerard teases. I furrow my brows. This man has a complete lack of human respect. I looked at Mako who was looking down at his thumbs. Jamie looked like he was about to explode. Before Jamie could say something, I took this opportunity."If I have lunch with you, will you leave them alone?"I even cringed at my offer, but I can’t stand bullies. Gerard had slimy little smirk that made me want to punch him so hard in the dick."Oui I’ll leave them alone. See you later,mon amour!” He sang as he walked away.“You didn’t just…"Gabriel looked at me wide eyed."I can’t stand people who act like that, but if he’s bullying people I’ll stop it at any cost."I stated."Sheila, your putting yourself through hell for Mako…CONSIDER US BEST FRIENDS!"Jamie yelled hugging me. I let out a small giggle. 


I’ve done my first 4 periods and now it’s lunch. I’m following Retard to the lunchroom. I get in line and get my food. I get a salad with bleu cheese dressing, apple slices, and chocolate milk. When I get to the cashier, I pull out my schedule to be scanned, but Retard beats me to it and pays for it."I could’ve bought it myself."I huff."I don’t get a merci?"He asks as I follow him to a table in the middle of the room. He sits down and unfortunately I sit next to him. I look around the table and see the rest of them are boys."Wow Gee, I didn’t know you liked blueberries that much!"One laughs. The others start to snicker."Hey now, she’s my girlfriend. So don’t be mean."He chuckled. My eyebrows crease, and my eye starts to twitch."G-Girlfriend?"I seethe. He places his dirty paw on my thigh and leans over and whispers in my ear."We wouldn’t want anything unfortunate to happen to your friends, right? Oh what a tragedy it would be if their new friend betrayed them."Gerard hisses. I nod, and start picking at my food. Glad I didn’t pay for it myself."Yeah, her skin is from a rare condition. It’s pretty boring."Gerard discussed. Him and his friends were chatting away while I was quiet and played with my food."Isn’t that right babe?"Gerard asks."Hm?"I hum in confusion. He sighed, and smack my arm quite hard, if I didn’t know better his dead body would have been on the table in 3 seconds."We asked you a question, dumbass. What’s your talent?"Gerard scoffed."I’m skilled in ballet, and combat…"I mumbled."So that means your flexible?"One of them catcalls."Why don’t you come over here and see?"I grin. He walks over and I stand up in front of him I grab my chocolate milk and pour it on his head.  He grabs my salad and dumps dressing and all on top of me, soon enough the entire tables in a food fight.

 Anyways, this leads other tables to join, I pick up a sandwich and throw it at the cheerleader who just threw a bowl of spaghetti at me when it hits someone who recognize to be the vice-principal. The room turns deathly silent as some turkey from the sandwich slides off her face."Who threw it."She asked. As someone who owns up to everything, I’ll have to own up to this one."Me."I admit in a solemn tone. She stomps over to me and grabs my arm and drags me out to the hallway."I want a story now. Tell me the truth and your punishment wont get worse."She ordered, I nod."I was sitting with Gerard and they asked me what my talents were, and I told them ballet and combat. One of them proceeded to catcall me and as out of anger I poured chocolate milk on his head and accidentally started a food fight."I described the whole scene."You are off the hook. Go to your dorm and clean up."She decides after a minute."Merci-beaucoup madame, but why?"I inquired."Boys will act like dogs, if they do not learn their lesson they will never learn at all."She concludes our chat. I head to my dorm, I was shown my dorm before school. My roommate is a brit named Lena. Angela had some clothing she bought online brought to my room, so I wouldn’t go naked for the time between now and when I go shopping.


 I’ve been hanging in my dorm with Lena, after going to my last to classes. She grabs her guitar and walks out saying she’s gonna go play in the courtyard and get some fresh air. I nod, and return to my book that I need to catch up on for English. 

 A/N:Sorry everything is so run on. I just had a blast of inspiration today and sat myself down and wrote for about an hour or two. I’ll try and post chapters often. My motto is "Don’t release a chapter until you’ve started the next, or else you’ll lose interest, ideas, and time and you’ll get hella lazy.” So I hope you all are liking the story! Cause I love writing this! Thanks for the love!




Chapter 1(part 2):

Monday complete! Woke up at 4:30am to teach grit, attack and core at my fitness club! Then quickly got ready and raced to uni 🏃 picked up 2 slices of vegan cake from @cardamompodbrickworks On the way home because it’s my mums birthday!!! Then went to the gym for my own workout 💪💪 now I am ready for a good nights sleep (hopefully, still not feeling 100% 😷😩) and another busy day tomorrow! This was overnight oats made with 1 cup of oats, 1 tbsp chia seeds and a couple drops of caramel stevia drops covered with almond milk and stirred all together and soaked overnight. In the morning I topped with fruit and granola! Lunch was leftovers from yesterday’s lunch! Now I’m off to dinner for my mums birthday 🎉🎉 hope you all had a great start to your week! Xx


The Leftovers season 3 is beyond good

I just marathoned it yesterday and this morning and am now caught up. It’s definitely in my Top 10 series I’ve ever seen, it’s so compelling. It took me a little while to get into it when I started season 1, but if you give it a chance it’s truly worth it. Wow.

rae is sick, day 10?

sorry i wasn’t online much yesterday.

yesterday morning was so good and as the day progressed i got worse. now i feel as bad as i did a week ago. going back to the doctor’s office tomorrow (today as its 1:56 AM) to figure out what in the heckin heck is goin on.


Yesterday was good:) snacked quite a bit throughout the day and still hit my calorie goal. Definitely motivated by my new wardrobe and also SV (down 24!!!) I am loving my new sleep schedule bed @ 10:30 and up at 6:30! So much better than 2-3am-10-11am 😑😑 

 It’s only been a few days, so who knows if this feeling will last but I have a sense of belonging here. I don’t feel thrown or like my whole life is in chaos from the change. I like it here in south Miami a lot so far :) 

 I am a bit lonely, my two roommates have not moved in yet so it’s just me for at least a few more days. I dropped my parents off at the airport yesterday morning. I know a few people in the department, maybe I should bug them to take me somewhere cool :p I would like to make 1 friend today. We will see! I may also just read forever or go to the beach or something.


shot w cruz yesterday started setting up at like 9/10-ish in the morn and didn’t get done breaking it all down until like 1:30 AM oh my godddd like over 14 hours? it’s really gonna be crazy i’m so excited to c how it turns out


🐿 Got LOTS of questions and concerns from everyone about the baby squirrel we found yesterday (named Fairy Jerry by Nikolai) … so I will answer them here.
1. I found him while I was walking my brothers dog and he was alone next to a fence. His eyes were completely closed.

2. It started to rain and nobody was going to be around to sit and watch for him to see if the momma came back.. and we didn’t want to see him pass away or get taken by another animal in the area 🦅while we were gone - so we made the decision to take him.

3. No, not as a pet. I am dropping him off this morning at a proper wildlife animal rescue near me - they were all closed yesterday for the holiday.

4. He had no distended belly - which is great. We gave him pedialyte first to hydrate just in case. An hour or so later we gave him the proper formula (the nutritionally closest formula to squirrels breast milk) … and he ate happily every 2-3 hours.. we used a small syringe so as not to aspirate him.

5. To everyone who suggested we keep him as a pet - this hurts my heart 💔 Animals like squirrels, foxes, monkeys and other “exotic pets” are NOT meant to be kept as pets. They are sold for big 💲so that humans can benefit from them (as if they are a product!) and they are not only physically confused but mentally confused as well. They are not domesticated like dogs 🐶 and cats 🐱 - they end up dying pre maturely due to chronic anxiety, depression, malnourishment and neglect… would you move to the wild ALONE spur of the moment? Would you thrive and feel at home and comfortable? No. You would feel lost and scared and brutally uncomfortable. These animals don’t feel good inside of a humans home.
Yes, this squirrel is so cute that I cry every time I feed him 😭 but he is not mine and he belongs outside with other squirrels doin his squirrely thing!


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