asylum seekers

FACTS: it’s 1,250 not thousands. LEGITIMATE REFUGEES not illegal OR immigrants. Fuck Trump. Fuck Trump and his outright misinformation. Fuck his dehumanising propaganda, fuck his sheer man-child tempered lack of diplomacy, fuck every goddamn piece of shit word that spews from the anus located where his mouth should be.

I’d say burn in hell but as I’m not religious I’ll go for the real world equivalent and say burn in a detention centre. Let’s put him in one and leave him there indefinitely.

Naomi Klein on Q&A discussing Australia’s horrific treatment of refugees by locking them in concentration camp style facilities, such as Manus Island and Nauru, leading to countless acts of suicide and self harm (by both adults and even young children) just to escape the torment experienced in these camps. Shame on the Australian government and shame on their prime minister Malcolm Turnbull.

If you're an Australian horrified by Donald Trump, what are you doing about our backyard?

The House of Reps has passed the Life Time Ban on Visas Bill. This bill will seek to bar anyone who attempted to seek asylum in Australia by boat after July 2013 from ever being granted a visa to even visit Australia. The government is doing this to score points with One Nation in exchange for their support on future legislation.

The measure is cruel, unnecessary, and could have all manner of unintended consequences. Imagine a young person brought by a parent seeking to join their other parent whom has been granted refugee status and is already in Australia – the child could never even visit their parent here for the rest of their life.

The UN has already said that the proposed ban appears to breach Article 31 of the Refugee Convention (which prohibits refugees being penalised for seeking protection in an irregular manner.) Are we the sort of country that does things like this?

This measure cannot pass without the votes of the cross bench. Please email or call them, particularly if you are resident in their state and they are your representative.

* … (03) 9820 2222
* … (03) 6431 2233
* … (08) 8232 1144
* … (08) 8232 0220
* … (02) 9719 1078
* … (08) 8212 1409

nothing irks me more than when people say “Australia is my country, go back to yours” when our Australian FUCKN ANTHEM literally says “For those who’ve come across the seas, we’ve boundless plains to share; with courage let us all combine, to Advance Australia Fair”

Don’t consider yourself a ‘true’ Australian if you can’t even open your arms to refugees and asylum seekers CYA

Dutton will determine who’s a legitimate asylum seeker by throwing them in the Murray River.

If they survive, they’ll be sent back to their war torn homelands to become the civilian casualties they were always meant to be. If they perish, at least they’ll have gone to God knowing they were an 100% bonafide refugee who died for the good of the nation.

It’s Malcolm Turnbull, helping his buddy Mr Potato Hea- I’m sorry, Peter Dutton, stomp the hell out of some of the most vulnerable people on the planet: asylum seekers. Good thing we have Team Turnbull to stop people from drowning at sea though, I mean, what’s an offshore gulag or two amongst friends.

woah. The Australian Government is gonna pay 1,905 Manus detainees $100M+ (so about $52K+ each) to settle a “they illegally treated us like crap” court case. I don’t wanna take away from the extraordinary victory this is for the detainees and lawyers who worked hard for this. But for the Aussie government? This is a price they’ll happily pay to keep doing what they’re doing. The plan: spend billions on detention torture and add a $100m or two to the tab whenever torture victims manage to scrounge together a lawsuit in response. This is barely a speedbump for these Stalin policies.

Tony Abbott and Peter Dutton have condemned the government’s $70m compensation for 1,905 refugees on Manus Island in a class action case.

“It’s unfair, it makes us look like we’re at fault here” said Dutton. “We don’t control the overseas persecution and conflict that is causing people to flee here for safety that we refuse to provide. I’m just doing my job as Minister of Needless Torture and Immigration.”

“Shhhh, that’s your secret title,” Liberal back bencher and self appointed Minister of Whinging, Tony Abbott whispered harshly. “We only use that in the party room - not in public.”

The record pay out has been met with welcome by human rights activists and legal advocates and tortured wails from Tony Abbott.

“We hates the payout,” Abbott hissed through his lizard mouth. “It burns us. We are allergic to human rights.” He shuddered in physical pain before retreating back into the shadows. “I’m coming out in hives! My skin will be ruined for weeks because of this!”


Behind them lay the makeshift campgrounds where they had spent months living rough, waiting for the right moment to climb the six-metre, razorwire fence lying between them and their dream of making it to Europe. In front of them lay an immaculately groomed golf course complete with white-clad golfers teeing off.

The two radically different realities, just metres apart, was what greeted a dozen or so migrants caught on the triple fence that marks the border between Spain’s north African enclave of Melilla and Morocco on Wednesday. After 200 had tried to scale the fence, Spain’s interior ministry said 20 people had made it to the enclave and another 70 remained perched on top of the fence for several hours.

team australians who hate peter dutton

Also people who aren’t in Australia but have a spare five minutes. Guys - this one is urgent. There’s a pregnant refugee on Nauru who is in a lot of trouble. She’s nearly 36 weeks along and her baby is in the wrong position for delivery - feet first. She also has a large tumour (it’s benign) against her uterus. Doctors need to manually rotate the baby (for which you need a hospital with an operating theatre on standby) or perform a caesarean (for which you need a hospital with an operating theatre).

Nauru does not have the facilities to do this. The infant mortality rate in Nauru is 30 in 1000 (Australia’s is 3 in 1000) and this woman’s chances, and her baby’s, are not looking good. Aussie doctors believe only experienced obstetricians with neonatal facilities are capable of performing the birth and being on site to treat complications. It’s insanely hard to get a visa to visit Nauru, and as mentioned above, Nauru doesn’t have the facilities regardless.

She needs to come here. So. Here’s what you need to do for her to have a chance of coming to Australia and getting the help she needs.


Minister for Immigration and Border Protection Peter Dutton and Assistant Minister for Immigration and Border Protection Alex Hawke.

Dutton’s emails are - AND

Hawke’s email is

Just something short and sweet, you know the drill - edit this email to your liking if you don’t know what to say.

Dear Minister [DUTTON/HAWKE],

My name is [YOUR NAME] and I am from [YOUR STATE]. Recently I was made aware of the plight of a pregnant refugee on Nauru. Both her baby, and her life are endangered due to the baby’s breech position. There are not enough adequate facilities or medical staff on Nauru to assist with what may be a very difficult delivery.

Please bring this woman to Australia so she can give birth and recover in safety.

I await your reply regarding this urgent issue as soon as possible.

Thank you,



Usually we’d wait till next week to start ringing, but time is of the essence here. After sending the email, you need to ring Dutton’s Canberra office on (02) 6277 7860, and Hawke’s Canberra office on (02) 6277 4430.  

If you live in Dutton’s electorate (Queenslanders in Dickson) or Hawke’s electorate (New South Welshies in Mitchell) also ring (07) 3205 9977 or (02) 9899 7211 respectively.

If you’re nervous about what to say, the above email can also be worked as a script to the people on the other end. Insist on the call being logged and someone following up with you on the issue. 

It’s two days after Australia Day, and after swanning about welcoming new citizens and claiming that we’re open for all those who’ve come across the sea, a woman may die despite being less than four hours flight from the health care she so desperately need. Email and call these ministers now.

The Government plans on giving Peter Dutton powers to overrule appeal tribunal decisions and deny people citizenship.

“This is for the best interest of national security,” Dutton said, sitting upon his gilded throne. “I can already deny people visas. I can already deny them safety and refugee. I deny refugees medical care. I deny them sufficient food and water. I deny knowledge of the terrible things that happen on Manus Island. Why stop there?”

“My wife asks “Peter, please. We haven’t gone out to a nice restaurant since you got the position of Immigration Minister. Can we go out? Just once?” and I deny her even that. She hasn’t even gone to McDonalds in years.”

“Denying people things is my kink. My wife and I don’t have sex, she just asks me if I could help her carry the groceries and I say “no” in fits of ecstasy.”

“I won’t help you. Mmm, I’m not going to move an inch off this - hnng - couch.” He writhed. “You can expect nothing from me” he let out a breathy whisper.

team australians who hate donald trump

Squad. Gang. Team. Got the shivers and the shudders and the shakes after the election of President Toupee? My Aussie mates, it’s time we channelled that fear and frustration into something at home.

Peter Dutton, Human Brussel Sprout and Minister for Immigration, floated a plan that would leave asylum seekers banned from ever entering Australia. Dutton’s idea is that this will be backdated to people who had tried entering from July 2013. This is a massive dickhead move, and despite Labor and the Greens voting against it, the bill has passed through the Lower House and into the Senate.

That is fucked. We’re going to email all the crossbench Senators who may oppose this bill, and so hold the balance of power, and let them know that this is not on. 

So what we’re going to do is email all these people a nice little note letting them know that this law is appalling and unaustralian. Only email the Senators for your state, because in theory you’ll be voting for them again in three or six years.

This bill cannot pass. It flouts international law and common decency. Let’s do this.


  • Senator David Leyonhjelm (Liberal Democrats) + (02) 6277 3054


  • Senator Derryn Hinch (Derryn Hinch’s Justice Party) - + (03) 9820 2222


  • You guys need to consider some minor parties. 


  • Senator Stirling Griff (Nick Xenophon Team) - + (08) 8212 1409
  • Senator Skye Kakoschke-Moore (Nick Xenophon Team) - + (08) 8232 0220
  • Senator Nick Xenophon (Nick Xenophon Team) - + (08) 8232 1144


  • Senator Jacqui Lambie (Jacqui Lambie Network) - + (03) 6431 2233


  • Senator the Honourable Nigel Scullion (Country Liberal Party) - + (08) 8948 3555


  • You guys really don’t like minor parties, do you. Hope you’re feeling better, Scotty Ludlam.


  • Oh yeah you only have two senators suck it.

A sample message you can send -


My name is [YOUR NAME] and I live in [YOUR TOWN] in [YOUR STATE]. Recently I heard that Peter Dutton’s proposal to ban asylum seekers from ever settling or visiting Australia passed the Lower House.

The contents of this bill appall me and many of my friends and family. I feel it is a horrifying, unaustralian idea. If you support this bill you can be sure you will never receive my support as a voter ever again.

Please do not vote in favour of permanently banning asylum seekers from ever settling in Australia.

Thank you,


Keep it short, sharp and simple. Write your own email if that’s easier for you - the more voices they hear, the better. Go on and do some good in the world. It takes five minutes to send an email - I sent one last week to the Labor MP Shane Neumann, the Shadow Minister for Immigration, who replied and confirmed that Labor would not be supporting the bill. Send an email now. Call them on Monday morning. 

It’s that easy.