astrology

The Signs Texting
  • Starts a conversation then never replies: Sagittarius, Libra
  • Takes like 5 years to text back: Capricorn, Aries, Aquarius
  • Reads your message but forgets to reply: Taurus, Pisces, Cancer, Leo
  • Starts a conversation and tries to make it last: Virgo, Gemini, Scorpio
what each sign reminds me of :-)
  • aries:band t-shirts, messy journals, fast food restaurants, fireworks, high school, playing fetch with a puppy, the song 'I miss you' by blink 182, smeared makeup, long car rides, thunderstorms, deleted messages, man buns
  • taurus:finishing homework at 3am, mid-day naps, blank sketchbooks, new shoes, the winning point of a game, smores, roses, breezy march days, camping trips, streams, watching horror movies
  • gemini:the song 'the city' by the 1975, long road trips in the desert, music festivals, graffiti, candy hearts, a child at Disneyland, mom jeans, big bathtubs, hot air balloons, dandelions, food courts, lip gloss
  • cancer:sitting on a lookout in the dark, large blankets, hotel hallways, long distance phone calls, group pictures, the song 'baby blue eyes' by rocket to the moon, acoustic guitars, iced coffee, Valentine's Day, sweater paws, pink lips, sunrises
  • leo:ferris wheels, prom night, gold eyeshadow, stacks of unread books, bass in a song, holding hands in hospitals, the beach, the smell of mint, sephora, 12am, taylor swift, black skinny jeans
  • virgo:nude lipstick, the song 'flawless' by the nbhd, thanksgiving meals, messy handwriting, finding really good lighting for a selfie, cologne, footprints in the sand, wine, the clacking of a typewriter, silk robes, the view from a penthouse, YouTube
  • libra:tall grass, airports, green eyes, one night stands, blushing, umbrellas and rainboots, solid colored sweaters, fire alarms, sleepy voices, the smell of musk, freckles, vans shoes
  • scorpio:blank grey gloomy skies, slush on the road after it snows, cold summer nights, the song 'lua' by bright eyes, morning grass, Sunday morning coffee, holding hands, dyed hair, acoustic versions of songs, tiny giggles, sleepy kittens, thunder at night
  • sagittarius:empty movie theaters, crowded buses, flicks of birds, chalkboards, getting tickets to a concert, taxis, city mornings, meaningless promises, damp forest floors, perfume, street lights, black hair
  • capricorn:black dresses, apartments, phone calls with your mother, hot tea, secret admirers, stacks of notebooks, 'i miss you's, traffic, alarm clocks, soft waves, varsity jackets, tally marks
  • aquarius:lakes at sunrise, crackling campfires, the smell of clean sheets, attracting strangers, unused paint, the song 'tesselate' by alt-j, shooting stars, empty libraries, bad jokes, flannels, mountains, holes in walls
  • pisces:fairy lights, the song 'breezeblocks' by alt-j, blue summer skies, tiny pink blossoms, golden retriever puppies, bunnies, new albums, blowing kisses, walking in a creek, photographic memories, peaches, pastel colors
The signs in a gang

Leaders: Aries,Capricorn

The ones in charge of ‘‘cleaning’‘ : Aquarius,Virgo,Capricorn

The cutie pies who are dangerous asf: Pisces,Cancer

The ones in charge of the weapons: Scorpio,Taurus

The sexy gang girlfriends: Libra,Sagittarius,Leo

The ones who always have to clean the image of the gang: Gemini,Pisces,Leo

The ones who still go to school: Virgo,Capricorn,Libra

The ones who always start the gang wars because of bad temper: Capricorn,Scorpio

The one who ends the wars: Pisces

The parents of the gang: Taurus,Cancer,Virgo

The ones who throw the drug parties and bring the money in: Aquarius,Sagittarius and sometimes Capricorn

(requested by anon!)

.p

The signs doing the ouija board

“Hahah omg flip the table or some shit”: Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius, Gemini, Leo

 "Please bE FUCKING CAREFUL YOU GUYS REMEMBER TO SAY GOODBYE WHEN YOU FINISH I DONT WANT ANOTHER HAUNTED HOUSE INCIDENT": Capricorn, Virgo, Sagittarius  

“Do you need help getting to the light? Do you want to chill and be my ghost buddie? Cause I’m cool with either one..”: Pisces, Cancer, Taurus, Libra

aesthetics for the signs

Aries: halter tops, messy buns, late night walks, warm rain and thunder, moss on the edge of a pond, white marble statues
Taurus: white converse high tops, blue eyes, cute socks, long straight hair, red lipstick, sweet fruit
Gemini: oversized sweaters, running in the rain, nike pros, French Bulldogs, gossip girl, nose rings
Cancer: beach hair, peach nail polish, flash tattoos, driving through the forest with the windows down, antique tea sets, neon sweatshirts
Leo: short stories, cold coffee, bright pink tennis shoes, matte lipstick, cats, face stickers
Virgo: road trips, graphic tees, poetry books, walking in the moonlight, horror movies, floppy hats
Libra: succulents, wedges, freshly baked cookies, sparkling water, white dresses, lavender tea
Scorpio: just washed laundry, cute little dogs, floral scented perfume, blueberry scones, fireflies, holding hands
Sagittarius: freshly cut grass, netflix and coffee, Birkenstocks, snow days, graphic tote bags, Ray bans
Capricorn: vintage tee shirts, long books, white sheets, midnight phone calls, good morning texts, new running shoes
Aquarius: cute cafes, shawls, heart shaped sunglasses, fruit smoothies, art museums, light pink lipstick
Pisces: ripped jeans, band tee shirts, bath and body works candles, heart shaped pizzas, clear blue skies, cemetery statues

What the signs are REALLY thinking

Aries: I wonder if the government know about my pornhub searches.

Taurus: I hope the family of that spider I killed last night don’t know where I live.

Gemini: I’m glad I am no longer the hated member of the zodiac and I look forward to watching my air sign brethren burn with great delight.

Cancer: I wonder if next door’s cat ever thinks about me.

Leo: I support me.

Virgo: The next person to leave my bedroom door open will be suing me for aggravated assault.

Libra: I wonder if Obama has any kinks.

Scorpio: Birds don’t have vaginas and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Sagittarius: I’ve lost control of my life.

Capricorn: If knowledge is power how are so many stupid people on my TV.

Aquarius: Memes will only get me so far in life. But what more do I have to give?

Pisces: If only I’d thought of that insult yesterday when I was arguing with Sandra instead in bed 14 hours later.

How the Zodiac Signs Handle Rejection

How Aries handles rejection: Not very well…. at all! They almost refuse to be rejected.

How Taurus handles rejection: Does a lot behind the scenes to avoid it. They can push rejection under the rug when it happens.

How Gemini handles rejection: Just thinks the person who rejected them is a jerk or feels that the organization is missing out!

How Cancer handles rejection: Could get butt-hurt or might take a while to get over the rejection.                    

How Leo handles rejection: They can go from being outraged to being sulky over rejection.

How Virgo handles rejection: They can beat themselves up and over think the reasons why they were rejected.

How Libra handles rejection: They get super self-conscious and starts doubting themselves.

How Scorpio handles rejection: They can get mad and will either take their anger out on the organization/person or try to prove them wrong.         

How Sagittarius handles rejection: They can be shocked but then builds a bridge and gets over it.

How Capricorn handles rejection: Beats themselves up and can go to great lengths to prove themselves.

How Aquarius handles rejection: Rejection is one of their greatest fears, so that fear comes to life! They can feel hurt and/or anxiety.

How Pisces handles rejection: Becomes sad and angry but knows how to move on.

Weird Places The Signs Want To Have Sex
  • Aries:Under the bleechers
  • Taurus:On the teachers desk
  • Gemini:In a video game scene
  • Cancer:Their parent's bed
  • Leo:On the stage in their old high school auditorium
  • Virgo:In the back of their fucking prius
  • Libra:In the storage room
  • Scorpio:In an old cobblestone alley
  • Sagittarius:Under a bridge, against one of the pilliars
  • Capricorn:On their bosses desk. (Ps, thats not glue on your chair).
  • Aquarius:In an abandoned building
  • Pisces:Nothing will fulfill these guy's fantasies
NEW Gemini’s Do’s and Don’ts

Don’ts

  • Don’t talk about them behind their back. Your typical Gemini would prefer for you to tell them, directly.
  • Do not be fake. If you say you’re going to be down for your Gemini, be down. If not, let them know from the beginning.
  • Do not pretend. A Gemini wouldn’t want to meet you this day, and a different you the next.
  • Don’t be a boring someone. Know how to be open and willing to do and try new things. 
  • Don’t be so serious. A Gemini can’t stand when someone has to be serious about every little detail when it comes to life. Be free!

Do’s

  • Be open-minded, be someone who’s able to view different situations from different perspectives and not just with negative thought.
  • Be a leader. Be unique. Do not try to be like everyone else. It sucks, a lot, trust me.
  • Be adventurous and willing to explore new things in life. Doing the same thing everyday gets boring!
  • Know how to have fun. A Gemini wouldn’t want someone who promotes and delivers boredom. It’s an nightmare.
  • Be free. Don’t limit yourself from doing the things you want to do because someone else told you otherwise!
Horoscope - July 31 2015

Aries Horoscope

(Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You want to shout your opinions from the rooftop today as the Aquarius Full Moon lights up your 11th House of Networking. But you’re not too concerned about what anyone else thinks now because you’re sure that your perspective is the right one. Although your plan might work out just fine, your words still could sound more aggressive than you actually feel. Garner support by toning down your message and acknowledging the validity of alternate approaches. Create an environment where everyone can be a winner, not just you.

Taurus Horoscope

(Apr 20 – May 20)

Your unwavering commitment to accomplish your work prompts you to do things your own unique way. The Aquarius Full Moon wires your 10th House of Career, driving you to succeed at any cost. Your ambition is admirable, but you can be so resistant to change that your closest friends wonder why you are sabotaging your own possible success. Unfortunately, your plans may be jeopardized without the cooperation of your allies. Blind optimism could prevent you from seeing things objectively, so be open to the advice others have to offer.

Gemini Horoscope

(May 21 – Jun 20)

Your original approach to your job demonstrates your cleverness, but it might also end up making more work. Today’s Aquarius Full Moon emphasizes your 9th House of Big Ideas, inspiring you to dream about all the amazing possibilities ahead, rather than concentrating on the present moment. Thankfully, your goals are attainable if you proceed with caution and stick to the basics. Keep things simple and don’t look back.

Cancer Horoscope

(Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Negotiations can be tricky business today, especially if you’re worried about getting your fair share of the pie. The Aquarius Full Moon overwhelms your 8th House of Shared Resources with brilliant ideas, triggering issues around jointly held possessions or investments. People may appeal to your egalitarian values, urging you to lessen your demands. But you want to be an equal partner now, instead of playing a subservient role. Don’t just say yes to make someone else feel better while your self-esteem suffers unnecessarily. Standing up for your rights earns you the respect you deserve.

Leo Horoscope

(Jul 23 – Aug 22)

A powerful opportunity to heal your heart can be a gift from the cosmos today if you’re experiencing difficulties in the love department. The Aquarius Full Moon illuminates your 7th House of Others, possibly reactivating an unresolved relationship issue. Meanwhile, romantic Venus returns to linger in your sign for the next two months, stirring up feelings for an old friend or lover. Fortunately, re-framing a past relationship in a new light alters your perspective and frees you to be more fully alive in every moment.

Virgo Horoscope

(Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You may be so preoccupied with your thoughts that you don’t recognize the emotional warmth waiting to embrace you with open arms. The conceptual Aquarius Full Moon falls in your 6th House of Details, encouraging you to lean on your analytical skills to solve a current problem. Although you might believe you’re listening carefully, you won’t pick up other people’s messages unless they arrive on your exact frequency. Opening your mind to new channels of communication today can teach you a very valuable lesson about connecting with your heart.

Libra Horoscope

(Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Your creativity shines while the Aquarius Full Moon sparkles in your 5th House of Self-Expression. You could put on a brilliant performance if you don’t try to control every part of the process. A smart strategy is to have a variety of projects to keep you busy while you’re hoping for inspiration to strike. Be ready to ride a creative wave if it comes along, but don’t be disappointed if nothing extraordinary happens today. As Tom Petty sings, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

Scorpio Horoscope

(Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Something could suddenly snap today as the Aquarius Full Moon activates your 4th House of Domestic Conditions while opposing the showy Leo Sun in your 10th House of Public Status. Your resolve to restore balance to your life should alleviate any emotional upset but downplaying your feelings isn’t the answer. Instead of pitting your personal responsibilities against your professional commitments, find ways to support one with the other. Ultimately, creating stability on the home front gives you a firm foundation on which to build your success.

Sagittarius Horoscope

(Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You are aware that your wanderlust makes it difficult to follow through on existing commitments these days. The free-thinking Aquarius Full Moon excites your 3rd House of Distractions, reactivating a familiar theme of intellectual restlessness. Although you might be frustrated by current circumstantial limitations, you can still improve your situation by acknowledging your adventurous desires while simultaneously juggling your copious responsibilities. Managing your time creatively is the key to your success.

Capricorn Horoscope

(Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Your current financial condition may seem rather unstable today while the erratic Aquarius Full Moon stresses your 2nd House of Money. Maybe you discover your cash on hand is less than anticipated or, perhaps, your bills are greater than previously calculated. Either way, don’t avoid a fiscal issue that pops up now, because addressing it rationally is much wiser than putting it off – even if you don’t have a complete solution yet. Taking a small step in the right direction may be enough to set you on a path that eventually leads to a final answer.

Aquarius Horoscope

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Sweeping changes are necessary to get your life back on track now. However, the Full Moon’s presence in your sign brings unexpected events that require you to adapt to other people’s schedules, anyway. It takes courage to be flexible now instead of rigidly sticking to an old agenda that no longer works. Although this might be an exercise in cooperation, don’t lose yourself in the process. It may seem as if others are getting the better end of the deal, but in reality you’re the one who stands to gain the most by opening your heart.

Pisces Horoscope

(Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You would rather pursue a more meaningful path in life but dramatic events at work demand an increasing amount of your undivided attention. Your friends and colleagues might not even notice that you’re struggling now that the Aquarius Full Moon shines in your 12th House of Invisibility. But there’s no escape from your routine or your responsibilities. The answer is to integrate a more spiritual approach into everything you do.

Source : Rick Levine

Read more about your horoscope here

cake

gives you the last piece of cake: cancer, virgo, aquarius, sagittarius

takes the last piece of cake: scorpio, taurus, aries, gemini,

just splits the damn piece in half: libra, capricorn, pisces, leo

First things first, I don’t want to be forgotten: Aries; Gemini; Leo; Virgo; Sagittarius; Aquarius

Even worse, I don’t want to be alone: Taurus; Cancer; Libra; Scorpio; Capricorn; Pisces