assorted goods

How To Pun Your Way Past A Dragon

(This one actually happened back when 3.5 was the Next Big Thing™, so I don’t remember all of the specifics.  The party was an assortment of good-aligned characters, and a young copper dragon stopped us from passing along the road it had decided to camp out on unless we either paid him a token fee or told him a joke he didn’t know.  After dissuading the ranger from trying to pick a fight with him, we decide to go ahead and pay up since all parties involved good aligned.  …Except for my barbarian.)

Barbarian:  I could tell you the one about the broken dagger, but there’s no point to it.

Dragon:  *Long steady stare, after the DM needed a couple seconds to work out the pun.*

Barbarian:  The one about the crossbow might be worth a shot…

(The whole party groans, IC and OOC.  The dragon and DM both facepalm and just point down the road.)

college boyfriend!joshua

Originally posted by yoondexd

a/n: special thanks to @choco-seventeen for giving me the idea of barista!josh which ended up being the best idea ever,,, get rdy to die yall

  • here it is, our long awaited gentleman of seventeen!! requested by this darling~
  • i’ve never written anything for josh (which is appalling) and seeing as he’s now,,, like a bias,, i mean i kinda have to don’t i
  • i’m going to pretend that a straight week of searching for joshua scenarios did not help encourage this

Keep reading

Seventeen: First Kiss.

Request: Also take your time but .. eventually .. could you also do first kiss with Seventeen .. LOL. But you can separate it by units if it makes it easier :) 💕❤️ I LOVE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY~ 

(Gifs aren’t mine, credit to the rightful owners).

~Vocal Unit. 

Jeonghan:  

“Y/N-ah! Come to the kitchen!” Jeonghan screamed the second he heard you step foot in his dorm. You laughed as you pulled off your jacket and shoes. 

“Hurry up!” he yelled. 

“I’m coming calm down,” you yelled back with a laugh as you shook your head. You ran to kitchen to see the table covered with an assortment of baked goods. Jeonghan looked up at you with a proud smile (gif). 

“Happy one month anniversary Y/N!” 

“Oh my God, you’re so cheesy,” you laughed as you made your way over and hugged your boyfriend. 

“I wanted to something special to celebrate the fact that all my efforts eventually paid off,” he laughed and you slapped his arm playfully.  

According to Jeonghan, he had a crush on you for months before you even paid attention to him. Although, it is true that it took a while for you to actually admit you had feelings for him.  

“Earth to Y/N,” Jeonghan said as he waved his hand in front of your face. You turned back towards him, only to have a cupcake shoved towards your mouth. Jeonghan burst out laughing at your horrified expression. 

“Why!” you laughed as you reached up to wipe the icing away. Jeonghan pulled your hand down and entwined his fingers with yours. He took a deep breath and replaced his nervous expression with a smirk. 

“I’ll get it off,” he said and leaned in. Your eyes widened but quickly fluttered shut when his lips met yours. 

A first kiss with Jeonghan would be playful and sweet. It might happen really early on or after a couple of months, depending on whenever the right moment is. Jeonghan seems like someone who would want it to happen naturally. His hands would either be holding yours or be on/around your waist. It’d be playful and sweet, the kind of kiss that has the both of you giggling afterwards.

Joshua:  

You looked out the window of the coffee shop, your head resting on your hand. You glanced at your watch and sighed loudly. Joshua was nearly an hour late and hadn’t contacted you to give you any explanation. 

“Ten more minutes and if he’s not here, I’m leaving,” you muttered angrily to yourself. You were staring at the melting ice in Joshua’s drink when you saw something move in the corner of your eye. You glanced at the window to see Joshua waving at you from the other side (gif). You raised an eyebrow and huffed as he quickly made his way into the coffee shop and over to your table. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. Really, I am. Woozi asked me to come in for a quick recording session that ended up taking longer than expected,” he blurted, looking genuinely upset about the whole thing and you immediately softened. 

“It’s okay, at least you came,” you replied quietly with a shrug. He sat down and reached across the table to take your hand. 

“Thank you for waiting,” he said and you could tell he was sincere. 

*** 

Hours had passed and the two of you didn’t notice until the cafe owner came over to your table to tell you that it was closing time. You glanced at your watch in surprise and saw that it was indeed midnight. 

“Josh, we’ve been here for 4 hours!” you exclaimed and he laughed. 

“We should probably get going,” he said and you nodded in agreement. After putting jackets and paying, the two of you stepped outside. 

“It’s late so I’ll walk you home,” Joshua announced as he started walking in the direction of your house. You were too tired at this stage to protest, so you followed him without complaint. 

Eventually, you reached your house. You rummaged in your pockets to find your key, slid it into the lock then looked back at Joshua. 

“I had a good time, even though you were late,” you teased and that guilty look of Joshua’s from earlier returned. 

“I’m still really sorry about that.” 

“Josh I’m only teasing. Seriously, it’s okay,” you said with a smile before saying your goodbye and turning back to your door. 

“Where’s my hug?” Joshua asked. You laughed as you turned around and allowed him to wrap you in his arms. You stayed like that for a couple minutes then Joshua pulled away. He had a thoughtful look in his eyes as he looked at you. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly and you couldn’t help but smile softly at his politeness. You nodded in response and leaned in closer to him. He gave you a small nervous smile then gently pressed his lips to yours.  

Joshua Hong is a gentleman, so I highly doubt the kiss would happen in the first month. He’d want to take things slow to make sure your comfortable around him first. He would plan the kiss and it would probably take place after a really cute date. His hands would either be cupping your face, on your waist or you’d be wrapped in his arms. It’d be a gentle and sweet kiss. Joshua seems like the type to try put as much of his feelings for you as he can into the first kiss, making it a very memorable one.

Jihoon: 

“And this is G,” Jihoon said as he re-arranged your fingers on the guitar. 

“Okay, now strum.” You strummed hesitantly and he nodded at you encouragingly. 

“Now play all the chords together,” he instructed then sat back in his chair. You nodded in reply then did what he said. Your eyebrows knitted together and you pursed your lips in concentration. A small fond smile found its way to Jihoon’s lips as he watched you. His thoughts faded into daydreaming about what it’d be like to write a song with you and then he’d have a good excuse to mention you during acceptance speeches and- 

“Jihoon!” 

“What?” he questioned as he snapped out of his trance. 

“You were staring at me again!” you exclaimed, your cheeks tinted a light pink. He merely blinked in surprise, then smiled when he noticed your blush (gif). 

“Sorry,” he mumbled and pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands (sweater-paws Jihoon is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen). You let out a short embarrassed laugh and shook your head. 

“Anyway, am I doing this right?” you asked as you attempted to position your fingers to make the chord. 

“No, your index finger doesn’t go there,” he corrected. 

“Then where?” 

“Here,” he said as he leaned towards you and moved your finger to the right place. His eyes flickered from your hand to your lips and not very subtly. 

“You gonna kiss me or just stare at my lips all day?” you teased. Jihoon blushed then moved his hand from yours to cup your cheek. He licked his lips as he leaned in, kissing you sweetly. 

The kiss would happen when it happens, but I doubt it would happen early on. It wouldn’t be planned or well thought out but that isn’t a bad thing. It just means it would happen naturally. He’d either have his hands on your waist or would cup your cheek. It’d be a very sweet kiss.

Seokmin: 

“I can’t believe you beat me!” you groaned as you and your boyfriend Seokmin left the arcade. 

“Aw Jagi, it’s not my fault I’m this talented,” Seokmin replied with a cheeky grin. You glared at him and huffed as you kept walking. He ran up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. 

“Y/N-ah! Don’t be mad!” he whined as you two waddled along the pavement. 

“Seokmin, you’re restricting my movement. Please let go of me,” you said. You bit your lip to prevent yourself from smiling at his cute pouty face. He huffed and released you but not for long. Seokmin grabbed you by the shoulders, turning you to face him. 

“Y/N! You can’t be mad at me. I’m your adorable boyfriend Lee Seokmin!” he exclaimed loudly as he did aegyo with his signature sunshine smile (gif). Try as you might, you just couldn’t resist that smile. 

“Ugh fine you’re forgiven,” you said. You mentally cursed yourself for giving in so easily. 

“Good because I’d have hated if you were mad while I did this,” he replied. You gave him a confused look as he closed the small distance between you two. 

“Do wha-” Before you could finish your sentence, Seokmin had his hands on your waist and his lips were on yours. 

The kiss would happen early on in the relationship. Seokmin might be hyper but he’s also a pretty chill guy so I don’t think he’d have it extensively planned out but he’d have an idea off when he’d want to kiss you. It’d be a sweet kiss, the kind that you both smile into.

Seungkwan: 

“Guys, can’t you shut up?” Seungkwan yelled in annoyance at his members. 

“Boo Seungkwan! Where are your manners? Why are you yelling at your hyungs?” Jeonghan yelled back from the other room. Seungkwan sighed as he flopped backwards onto his bed. 

“Sorry,” he replied. 

“Seungkwan, it’s fine,” you said. 

“No it’s not! We haven’t seen each other properly in ages and I want to be able to talk to you but SOMEBODY’S BEING TOO LOUD!” 

“Boo Seungkwan don’t you raise your voice at me!” Jeonghan yelled in reply. 

“Right,” Seungkwan said as he stood up, “Let’s go.” 

“Go where?” 

“You’ll see,” he replied with a slightly creepy smile. You gave him a weird look but stood up regardless. You two hurriedly put on shoes and jackets then left the dorm. Seungkwan’s hand slipped into yours as he moved to walk a bit ahead of you. 

*** 

“Seungkwan are we walking to Jeju?” you whined after you two had been walking for a while. He laughed loudly and shook his head. 

“We’re nearly there I promise Y/N,” he said. You just let him drag you behind him as he walked. A little while later you were by a river. Seungkwan turned to you with a smile as he stepped backwards towards the railing (gif). He let go of your hand as he turned to the railing and leaned on it, with you doing the same. It was quiet for a minute or two and your mind wandered off. 

“Seungkwan?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Why haven’t we kissed yet?” you thought aloud and he looked you, shook. 

“W-wh-what? Y-you can’t just..just say things like that!” he complained. You raised your eyebrows and smirked at his flustered state. 

“Well? Are you gonna answer my question?” 

Seungkwan took a deep and very dramatic breath then faced you. He took your face in his hands then placed a sweet kiss on your lips. You smiled as he pulled away. 

“Now was that so hard?” you teased. 

It’s unlikely that Seungkwan has much experience in this area because he spent his teenage years in the practice room, so he’d be quite hesitant to kiss you. He might need a bit of a push from either you or his members but he’d probably prefer to be the one to kiss you first. He’d either cup your face or have his hands on your waist. It’s be a simple first kiss, short and sweet.

4

😊

gurguliare replied to your post: Give me a Tolkien subject (an action or situation or event, a…

  wait sorry no i meant fen of serech               

Ooooh!:

1. I like to think orcs had Legends about it, because of how the Fen of Serech is like, orc slaughter central actually!

2. First the whole Celegorm cornered-and-slaughtered-them-there thing…the part about Morgoth being caught off-guard by how strong the elves were against him makes me imagine this whole encounter really imprinted hard with orcs as a story about how terrifying the elves from over the sea were

3. Then like, there’s the orcs who cornered Finrod and who are almost successful in totally killing one of the most powerful elf kings, but suddenly a ton of Beorian soldiers bust in outta nowhere to rescue him and kill everybody, you literally just cannot catch a break in the Fen no matter how good your chances are if you are an orc, apparently

4. Then like, these orcs are just relaxing and chatting after a hard day’s work and like, all of Beren leaps out of nowhere like some kind of bogeyman, murders a guy, steals a severed hand, and then vanishes into nothing, and if these orcs weren’t already leery about camping out on this super unlucky death-filled place top of 5 billion orc skeletons they probably are now

5. Also Hurin & Huor & the Hadorians kill so many orcs there that the orcs dam the river with all their corpses? And then Hurin does HIS thing with the ax and just…it’s great! I wonder if like…the orc hands that kept clinging on to him after their owners’ death also kept clinging on afterwards because they didn’t want to be stuck in The Fen…with all the others who died…

6. I like to think it was also super haunted, especially by the feär of the early orcs who were killed by Celegorm’s company, who were probably in large part tortured elves who hadn’t been bred out of recognition over dozens of generations but who probably refused the summons to Mandos…also like, marshlands shift around a lot, and there are probably so many bones and objects of all kinds under there and periodically emerging…

7. I love especially how it’s like, sort of a bit of a microcosm of a light in darkness, a breath of beauty and hope amid horror and ugliness…fens are usually ugly places even in general, and Serech even more so because of being the site of so much warfare, and the weight of all of the things listed above is an even bigger psychological burden, and yet here is where multiple little desperate deeds of bravery and defiance and love take place, here is where Huor makes his prophecy…

8. I think the Fen was like…prime Historical Preservation material because in a fen…stuff sinks, up to a certain point, and then stays there? It probably would never get studied as it deserved but…lowest layer: a ton of very elvish orc skeletons. Next layer: everything left behind by Barahir’s from the men who died rescuing Finrod. Next layer: loads of Hadorian skeletons and severed heads some with bits of blond hair still attached, and the skeletons of the 5 billion orcs that the Hadorians killed in the Nirnaeth….I really hope that during the War of Wrath before everything sank, it like….got drained and then dried and then cracked in half by all the earth-moving violence of the tainted lands crumbling in on themselves, and someone  ran across it and got to pick around and see and understand like, this cross-section of multiple wars of Beleriand and the tangent-points of so many great stories especially for the Edain - here Huor prophecied Eärendil! Here Hurin stood crying Aurë Entuluva! Here Beren took the Ring of Barahir! Here Finrod swore his oath of loyalty to Barahir unto death! It is the very reverse of what it means to orcs. I think it would be a common imagery motif in Edain literature and poetry in later ages.

When it Happened.

Here’s my second request! I hope enjoy

(also shoutout to @masochisticlion for helpin ya gurl edit and coming up with the title im useless w/o you abigail)

Request: EmbryxReader where the reader is his imprint but she already has a boyfriend


The sound of the floor creaking under my heavy steps made an echo through the hall as I attempted to sneak my way through the dark house; my head snapping back towards my mother’s bedroom in fear that she had heard me. I held my breath, waiting for her to emerge from her room, pissed off at how late I was coming home; again. I stood there frozen for what felt like hours, but was really less than thirty seconds, before releasing my breath and tip-toeing to my room. I fell face first onto the bed I outgrew last fall after the transformation, turning to my alarm clock and seeing it was just past three in the morning. I groaned and planted my face into the pillow, falling asleep instantly.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'd love to see your top 5 volleyball teams on Haikyuu :)

…I can’t believe I’ve never done this top 5??? OH MY GOD.

1. Karasuno. Yes, of course, always. There are many teams you could like in Haikyuu, but only one is able to steal your heart, and for me, as cliché as it sounds, it’s Karasuno. I’m emotionally invested in every single one of them. Narita and Kinoshita who are finally gaining some spotlight, Ennoshita who is just the most important person, Suga who’s so strong and yet so delicate, Asahi with his crystal glass heart, Daichi simply god bless him, Tanaka who’s the best senpai a kouhai could ever ask for, Noya and his selfless yet fierce heart, Yams who grew so much, Tsukki whom I’m incredibly proud of, Kageyama who’s finally home, and Hinata. My sweet, sunshine son Hinata. I really don’t have words for how much I love them, but I do, I do, I do. 

Originally posted by god-decim

2. Aoba Johsai. Every time I think about my cactuses, my heart squeezes a little. They are one of the best teams in Haikyuu, they tried their ultimate best but never succeeded. They deserved to see the lights of the Nationals more than anyone else, I’m so sad they never did. Bitterness aside, I adore them because they gifted us not only with spectacular plays but with an incredible amount of dorks moments too. We’d never be ready to let Oikawa&co go, wouldn’t we? 

Originally posted by honeynutobios

3. Fukurodani. Ah, the owls. We didn’t saw much of them but I already love them regardless. This surely is influenced by the fact that their captain is my favorite character, but they are just impossible not to love. They are strong, absolutely extra (KONOHA MY BOY) and salty (and cheeky) as hell. Also, they have my favorite jersey of all the show, which surely is a plus. Fukurodani for the win!!!

Originally posted by globby0414

4. Shiratorizawa. I have to admit I was somewhat prejudiced before I knew them better. I thought they were the classic powerhouse school made of perfectly detached boys. I’ve never been so happy to be wrong. After all, the Siratorizawa boys are nothing but…teens, like all the others. And what a good assortment they are. After 30 chapters and 10 episodes I learned to love each one of them, and I treasure all the lessons and the heartbreaks and the laughs they gave me. I’m glad they had so much focus because they deserved all of it. 

Originally posted by stargazing--tooru

5. Nekoma. I like the kitties even if I have to admit I’m not particularly fond of them. Nevertheless, I love Kuroo, Kenma, Yaku and Lev a lot of course, I’m always happy to see them and I’m looking forward to the battle of the trash heap a lot!

Originally posted by shokugekis

- bonus: honorable mention for my iron boys GO GO LET’S GO LET’S GO DATEKO, seeing them is always a pleasure!

Originally posted by k-ishibe

Thank you for your message!

Ask me my top 5 things!

trashbb  asked:

YOU SAVE BEES, BLESS YOU

LISTEN I LOVE MY FUZZY FRIENDS OKAY

Look at them all busy on our lemon tree:

The last one flew right into my face, the precious idiot. Protect them.

Pizza Sandwiches

I’ve adapted these from a camp recipe, which are by design super easy and require very little. They’re basically grilled cheeses but with pizza sauce.

Ingredients:
x Some kind of bread- I usually use whatever’s in my bread box. Heels are good for this!
x Butter- for greasing. You can also use a small amount of vegetable oil, or I guess some people use mayonaise. I usually just stick with butter.
x Pizza sauce- They’re like two bucks, near the spaghetti sauce. But it’s different from spaghetti sauce!
x Mozzerella cheese - For that creamy goodness.
x Assorted toppings- Maybe some other kind of cheeses? Or pepperoni? If you’re like me and love pineapple pizza, make sure you drain the pineapple really well so it doesn’t sog up the whole sandwich.

Instructions:
1. Throw the bread in the toaster, or something else that will help crisp it up. You only want it just very lightly browned so it can stand up to the liquid of the sauce.
2. You can either use a griddle or a large pan, but heat up a little bit of butter, somewhere around medium heat.
3. Put down one slice of bread, and add toppings! Be sparing with your sauce- you can always dip it in more while you’re eating your sandwich.
4. Add the other slice of bread on top, buttered if necessary.
5. Let sit long enough that it sticks together, then flip over. I usually press mine with a spatula.
6. Remove from heat and slice in half diagonally!

3

I have shared my Scooby-Doo Pop Funkos with you before but I have yet to share by other Scooby Funkos aside from stock internet photos! Pictured here are my main five Funkos, my limited edition Creeper and Scooby-Dum Funkos, my flocked blue, magenta, and lime Scooby Funkos and my limited edition Scooby-Doo Pop tee!

In the Pop collection I am now only missing the normal flocked Scooby. But I have a pretty good assortment of the rare ones and I love it! :)

How to reduce your waste in 20 steps:

  1. Buy less stuff
  2. Recycle
  3. Compost
  4. Try to make as little food waste as possible
  5. Shop 2nd hand
  6. Buy things that last longer
  7. Repair what is broken
  8. Say hello to package free food!
  9. Reuse bags, it could be old plastic bags laying around, just try not to bring new ones home (preferably use canvas bags)
  10. Drink tap water
  11. Bring a water bottle
  12. (If you’re into take away coffee:) Bring your own reusable coffee cup
  13. Use a menstrual cup instead of tampons and such
  14. Buy unpackaged hard soap instead of liquid soap that comes in plastic bottles
  15. Skip fast fashion always
  16. DIY!
  17. Use what you’ve got
  18. Find your package free “safe places”, this could be at the farmers market, a shop nearby that has a good assortment of unpackaged stuff, and yeah, places or people with positive attitude about zero waste
  19. Say no to single-use products and yes to reusable items
  20. Be thoughtful about what you consume 
How To Adult on a Budget: Kitchen Edition

I wish someone would have told me these things when I was younger to save me a lot of time, money, and frustrating mistakes so here you go kids:

- when you’re putting together your first kitchen on a tight budget, certain quality items are way more important. good basics will get you through most day-to-day cooking and last basically forever, whereas nice matching plates are cute but no less functional than mismatched stuff from goodwill. (also, overstock stores are a GREAT way to get good basics cheap because who gives a shit about damaged packaging or out of season colors when it comes to stuff like this? rich people maybe idk)

Keep reading

a number of reasons why you should watch Black Sails

- now is the perfect time to binge-watch seasons 1-3 because 4 (which is the last one) will be out soon

- listen who DOESN’T want to know the backstory of Long John Silver?

- PiRATEs?!?

- lesbians? yes. dead lesbians? nope.

- you REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE SECRET SURROUNDING CAPTAIN FLINT

- AND MIRANDA BARLOW

- BAMF characters. all of them.

- everything serves the plot??? even the sex scenes??? i mean where else would you find that??

- you REALLY want to find out who Thomas Hamilton is. believe me.

- “well, we could make this a straight blood fest” “how about we don’t?” “yeah sure Jim good plan”

- assorted relatable quotes: 1. “that was dark” 2. “There’s no we, we stopped being a thing of any relevance about an hour ago.” 3. “no shit” 4. “fuck”, in all its various forms´

- “My truest love, know no shame” *sobs*

feel free to add

anonymous asked:

Hey! I was just wondering if you know of any decent stick and poke kits? Preferably with multiple needles as my friends and I are thinking of getting some. Or even just good ink? Or inspiration? Or anything, haha. Thank you!

I actually don’t buy kits; it’s much more efficient to buy ink and needles elsewhere(I typically get them off of amazon now)

This is the ink I’ve been using lately, it might be my favorite that I’ve used
http://a.co/71sSoRZ

As for needles, it doesn’t quite matter what brand you buy as long as they’re pre-sterilized and come in blister packs.  

I purchased these needles most recently, since they have a good assortment of sizes; you may not need this(standard size I use for stick and poke is 5RL or 8RL, for tiny ones 3RL, for  shading I prefer a 7RS)
http://a.co/ixmkkNI

You should also buy ink cups so that you don’t contaminate the ink before putting it into your skin
http://a.co/fqnaPw1


Tips
The biggest tip I can give you is to keep everything clean.  When I tattoo myself, I wipe away the excess ink between passes with a papertowel and 91% Isopropyl Rubbing Alcohol. (But be sure not to wipe until you have one full pass completed, as you don’t want to accidentally wipe away your stencil while you still need it)

Be sure to use a stencil; whether you draw it directly onto the skin yourself or use stencil paper-make sure you have something to follow(never freehand/no-stencil a tattoo, the way you have to stretch the skin to get a good poke will distort your image unless you have lines to follow)

If you’re doing a tattoo in a place that’s easy to stretch/doesn’t require a lot of stretching, it can be helpful to apply a thin coat of vaseline to the tattoo after each wiping.  This helps the ink keep from creating a mess-overall I think it makes for finer linework.  However, if you try it on a difficult to stretch area(like the back on the thigh…) you run the risk of making the area too slippery to get a good stretch on; for this reason, I tend to do my first pass without vaseline, so that my design is in my skin, and I’m free to completely wipe away the vaseline if I think it’s doing more harm than good in that location.
(If you use vaseline, make sure you buy a new fresh container of it to avoid contaminating your tattoo.  I use crafting popsicle sticks to scoop out a glob if it for each tattoo)

Finally, I cannot stress enough the importance of aftercare.
Stick and Poke may seem significantly more relaxed than a professional tattoo, but it is a tattoo none the less; you need to keep your healing tattoo cared for just as you would any professional piece.  Make sure to clean it often with antibacterial handsoap(I like Dial Gold) and once it’s dry apply a healing ointment(I prefer Tattoo Goo, but I’ve also used clear A&D with good results)
If you can, clean it and reapply ointment whenever it feels like the ointment has fully dried.

I hope you have a great tattooing experience!