assless-chaps

A regular tumblr user, coming across the tcc: om,,g,,, g-guys, I found, ,,, rhe,,serial kil ller,, fandom, ,, they’re all,, murders and school sh,,,ooters

The TCC: lol look at this pic I made of Eric Harris in assless chaps

This Valentines Day
  • Whether you're spending it longing
  • Fisherman: Would you stop putting chocolates in the ocean? You're probably poisoning the dolphins!
  • Angelica: I DONT CARE HE NEEDS TO KNOW I REMEMBERED HIM
  • Laughing
  • Laurens: Okay, way way mon amay Jeh mapple Lafayette?
  • Lafayette: *chokes on drink*
  • Working
  • Mulligan: If someone asks me to sew one more pair of god damn assless chaps for another "valentines day surprise" I'm swear to god
  • Traveling
  • Madison: Sir you smell like you haven't showered in weeks
  • Jefferson: I know isn't France great
  • Or even mourning
  • Burr: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you...
  • Just remember th-
  • *cough*
  • Just reme-
  • *cough*
  • What is that loud coughing nois-
  • Peggy: AND PEGGY!
  • Oh, right! Ahem
  • Or even being forgotten
  • Peggy: Finally thank y- heYWAITASEC-
  • JUST remember that no matter how you're spending your Valentine's Day
  • Eliza: *opens door to Alexander with a half eaten box of chocolate*
  • You're always loved
  • Hamilton: Mmrph?
  • Eliza: *sigh* I love you too honey
  • ~<3
instagram

why is my brother like this

  • Genji: Brother, you need to control your anger.
  • Hanzo: No. Actually, in complete and total spite of you, I'm going to harness my rage into everything I do for the rest of my life.
  • McCree: Holy shit, maybe you should calm down a bit Hun you may explo-
  • Hanzo: FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR ASSLESS CHAPS, WESTERN MAN!
  • Lucio: Huh, he did explode!
  • Hanzo: Shut up Dancing Frog Bitch!
  • Lucio: Ah my feelings!
Have Mercy || Klaroline

There’s a wedding to plan, and Caroline’s a little too preoccupied to enjoy her wifely duties - and Klaus is not impressed. This is a gift for Angie (@thetourguidebarbie) and inspired in part by this popular photoset and by @paigemarie007. Smut warning for the Klaroline Arbor Day Smutfest event!


Snuggling deeper into Enzo’s shoulder, Caroline had to fight hard to keep her concentration on the television.

“You’re thinking too loud, gorgeous,” he teased, pinching her elbow. “I’m surprised they don’t hear you from the Chopped kitchen - don’t distract them lest they forget to add the jalapeno candy.”

She nudged him hard. “Shut up, it’s your fault,” she accused.

Enzo sighed and pulled her closer. “I said I was sorry for springing it on you, but you would have been angrier if I waited even a day after receiving the assignment.” Hardly his first deployment with the Air Force, he knew it spiked his best friend’s stress level every time. At least this one would only be for a year. “We still have a week before I have to be on base.”

“Pretty sure Kol has dibs once he gets back,” she muttered. Thinking of how hard Kol took his last deployment, though, Caroline softened. “How’d he take the news?”

“The same as he always does.” Enzo gave a sad smile. “He promised to bring home plenty of work samples to get his year’s worth now.”

Considering Kol was a pharmaceutical rep with a certain blue pill as his top seller, Caroline could fill in the blanks. Allergic to feelings, Kol was one to drown actual emotion with more superficial fun and sex. Hell, it was how he and Enzo started their torrid love affair back in college; the whole ‘friends with benefits’ concept was super convenient for their freshman year as roommates.

After almost ten years together, though, Caroline knew Kol loved Enzo more than anything. His nonchalant attitude would dissipate as soon as Enzo left. “Well,” she sighed heavily, “have fun, then. But I’m planning your going away party, and nudity will not be allowed.”

“About that, gorgeous-”

“Nope!” Caroline threw up a stern finger. “Kol is still on probation for those assless chaps at your birthday.”

“That was three years ago.”

“Exactly.”

Chuckling, Enzo reached for her hands before they could get to her phone and her lists. “Aside from that totally unfair position on clothing policies,” he joked, “Kol and I actually had a different party in mind.”

Caroline blinked as Enzo patiently waited for the realization to set in. “Oh my god,” she gasped. “Oh my god!” Wrapping him in a hug, she gave an excited squeal until a horrifying thought struck.

“Kol can NOT wear assless chaps at your wedding.”

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Every Ladynoir Fic Ever (for Bullysquadess)

Happy Birthday @bullysquadess ! Thanks to you I’ve been sucked into this fandom and achieved minor internet infamy. Please enjoy this finely roasted Ladynoir in honor of your name day.

Disclaimer: This is a work of parody aimed at overall fandom trends and not at any one author or story. None of this is meant as a personal attack on anyone; just a sporking of common Ladynoir fandom tropes.

Please enjoy.


The cerulean skies above Paris’ venerable and antediluvian streets gave way into a rich mauve tinged with the auburn hues of a dying day. On the streets below, Parisians came and went, unaware that the most romantic act in the history of the cosmos was being prepared not three stories above them.

“And we all say

“Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees”

Humming a jaunty cat-like song to himself (AN: get it? It’s because he’s a cat), Chat Noir went about lighting each of the two thousand one hundred and sixty two candles strewn about the rooftop; one for every hour he knew and loved the most wonderful, sublime, perfect, flawless, radiant, resplendent, exalted, magnificent, regal, truncular, and ethereal girl in all of Paris.

Nay, all the world!

Such was his love that he converted the rooftop retreat where they were to meet for their Nightly Evening Patrol into a lush, romantic scene out of Kenneth Branagh’s wettest Shakespearean dream. Laurels and ivy hung from every corner of the confused tenant’s roof. A record player played a suave Edith Pilaf song (AN: because they’re French) as celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck prepared a delightful evening meal for Paris’ greatest heroes- prime roasted rib, herbed potatoes, and garden salad for the Lady, and half-cup of Friskies “Friend-Zone” mix for the gent.

Chat may have spent upwards of eighteen thousand euro on his little surprise, but it was money well spent. After all, it was the three-week anniversary of the first time Ladybug accidentally spat on him when trying to dislodge a fabulous booger from her perfect nostrils! Such an occasion demanded splendor the likes of which Paris had never seen before. The rooftop scene before him made Versailles look like a dilapidated crack den full of sentient cockroaches, but still it wasn’t enough for his Lady, his partner, his love, his star, his treasure, his catnip (AN: get it? it’s because he’s like…a cat and stuff) his everything, his-

“Whats up ass clown?” Ladybug greeted, swinging onto the rooftop and shattering the intricate four thousand euro Ladybug ice sculpture centerpiece like it was Chat’s heart.

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