assless-chaps

This Valentines Day
  • Whether you're spending it longing
  • Fisherman: Would you stop putting chocolates in the ocean? You're probably poisoning the dolphins!
  • Angelica: I DONT CARE HE NEEDS TO KNOW I REMEMBERED HIM
  • Laughing
  • Laurens: Okay, way way mon amay Jeh mapple Lafayette?
  • Lafayette: *chokes on drink*
  • Working
  • Mulligan: If someone asks me to sew one more pair of god damn assless chaps for another "valentines day surprise" I'm swear to god
  • Traveling
  • Madison: Sir you smell like you haven't showered in weeks
  • Jefferson: I know isn't France great
  • Or even mourning
  • Burr: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you...
  • Just remember th-
  • *cough*
  • Just reme-
  • *cough*
  • What is that loud coughing nois-
  • Peggy: AND PEGGY!
  • Oh, right! Ahem
  • Or even being forgotten
  • Peggy: Finally thank y- heYWAITASEC-
  • JUST remember that no matter how you're spending your Valentine's Day
  • Eliza: *opens door to Alexander with a half eaten box of chocolate*
  • You're always loved
  • Hamilton: Mmrph?
  • Eliza: *sigh* I love you too honey
  • ~<3

A regular tumblr user, coming across the tcc: om,,g,,, g-guys, I found, ,,, rhe,,serial kil ller,, fandom, ,, they’re all,, murders and school sh,,,ooters

The TCC: lol look at this pic I made of Eric Harris in assless chaps

The signs as things my friends as the signs have said
  • Aries: When the nut so good you come back to life.
  • Taurus: Anyways, we're doing horrible this season. So you're all uninvited from coming to my games.
  • Gemini: You guys can come and visit me. My stage name is Red Velvet. I'm the one wearing the assless chaps.
  • Cancer: Hell no. The only green I eat is green beans. Fuck off. Sometimes peas...
  • Leo: You wanna call yourself a freak but you wont eat ass?
  • Virgo: I'm making dinner that could feed a whole family. But it's just my fat ass.
  • Libra: I have licked a butthole before and I am not ashamed
  • Scorpio: So, I'm underneath this trailer, in the dirt, cheering Mr. Bear on while he's fighting this opossum... trying to defend me.
  • Sagittarius: I'd sop that boy up with a biscuit... bounce a quarter off that butt...
  • Capricorn: You see, I have this thing where I fucking hate myself but I think I'm better than everybody else.
  • Aquarius: And that's when my brain went, ding ding ding I hate her!
  • Pisces: Once you guys try dill dip you're gonna forget about daddies.
  • Genji: Brother, you need to control your anger.
  • Hanzo: No. Actually, in complete and total spite of you, I'm going to harness my rage into everything I do for the rest of my life.
  • McCree: Holy shit, maybe you should calm down a bit Hun you may explo-
  • Hanzo: FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR ASSLESS CHAPS, WESTERN MAN!
  • Lucio: Huh, he did explode!
  • Hanzo: Shut up Dancing Frog Bitch!
  • Lucio: Ah my feelings!
Have Mercy || Klaroline

There’s a wedding to plan, and Caroline’s a little too preoccupied to enjoy her wifely duties - and Klaus is not impressed. This is a gift for Angie (@thetourguidebarbie) and inspired in part by this popular photoset and by @paigemarie007. Smut warning for the Klaroline Arbor Day Smutfest event!


Snuggling deeper into Enzo’s shoulder, Caroline had to fight hard to keep her concentration on the television.

“You’re thinking too loud, gorgeous,” he teased, pinching her elbow. “I’m surprised they don’t hear you from the Chopped kitchen - don’t distract them lest they forget to add the jalapeno candy.”

She nudged him hard. “Shut up, it’s your fault,” she accused.

Enzo sighed and pulled her closer. “I said I was sorry for springing it on you, but you would have been angrier if I waited even a day after receiving the assignment.” Hardly his first deployment with the Air Force, he knew it spiked his best friend’s stress level every time. At least this one would only be for a year. “We still have a week before I have to be on base.”

“Pretty sure Kol has dibs once he gets back,” she muttered. Thinking of how hard Kol took his last deployment, though, Caroline softened. “How’d he take the news?”

“The same as he always does.” Enzo gave a sad smile. “He promised to bring home plenty of work samples to get his year’s worth now.”

Considering Kol was a pharmaceutical rep with a certain blue pill as his top seller, Caroline could fill in the blanks. Allergic to feelings, Kol was one to drown actual emotion with more superficial fun and sex. Hell, it was how he and Enzo started their torrid love affair back in college; the whole ‘friends with benefits’ concept was super convenient for their freshman year as roommates.

After almost ten years together, though, Caroline knew Kol loved Enzo more than anything. His nonchalant attitude would dissipate as soon as Enzo left. “Well,” she sighed heavily, “have fun, then. But I’m planning your going away party, and nudity will not be allowed.”

“About that, gorgeous-”

“Nope!” Caroline threw up a stern finger. “Kol is still on probation for those assless chaps at your birthday.”

“That was three years ago.”

“Exactly.”

Chuckling, Enzo reached for her hands before they could get to her phone and her lists. “Aside from that totally unfair position on clothing policies,” he joked, “Kol and I actually had a different party in mind.”

Caroline blinked as Enzo patiently waited for the realization to set in. “Oh my god,” she gasped. “Oh my god!” Wrapping him in a hug, she gave an excited squeal until a horrifying thought struck.

“Kol can NOT wear assless chaps at your wedding.”

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