assless-chaps

First a confession. I sometimes like to look at pictures of ladies in various stages of undress and at times even like to see them in full congress with a flush faced shudder of pleasure. Yes friends, I’m speaking of internet porn. But lately… Oh darkness and loss has thrust itself upon me! You see, I am a man fast approaching 40 years of age and many of the ladies in porn are literally young enough to be my offspring. Oh cruel interwebs!

 Fear not, dear gentle reader, I assure you that I am sound enough of mind and will that I can suspend my silly conscience objections whilst the animus of my amorous delight doth soil the sight of the gods. But I must confess, that the tickling trickling nickering twitch of time does seem to be slowly eating away at the venerable smorgasbord of giggling delights that is my dear and wonderful friend, pornography.

Perhaps I am just growing up and the feisty lust of emotional stunted oversexed starlets no longer allow me the depth and breadth I need for a pleasurable swim. Perhaps nature is slowly cutting off the raging torrent of libido and now I long for authenticity and intimacy more so than assless chaps* and hollers of “Oh yeah, fuck my pussy!”

Oh, what cruel madness be this!?

*Yes, I am aware that all chaps are assless and this term is a double negative or triple positive or whatever… but the term is far too glorious to shun on the mere grounds of reason and logic.

So I’m reading the third book of the Dark Knight Returns (by Frank Miller) and…there’s this villain who’s a nazi mutant thing and she literally wears assless chaps and has swastikas painted on her asscheeks. She also has them painted on her boobs.

Oh, and that old oatmeal-textured lady over there? That’s Batman…in… “disguise”.

Comic books are weird