assless-chaps

The signs as things my friends as the signs have said
  • Aries: When the nut so good you come back to life.
  • Taurus: Anyways, we're doing horrible this season. So you're all uninvited from coming to my games.
  • Gemini: You guys can come and visit me. My stage name is Red Velvet. I'm the one wearing the assless chaps.
  • Cancer: Hell no. The only green I eat is green beans. Fuck off. Sometimes peas...
  • Leo: You wanna call yourself a freak but you wont eat ass?
  • Virgo: I'm making dinner that could feed a whole family. But it's just my fat ass.
  • Libra: I have licked a butthole before and I am not ashamed
  • Scorpio: So, I'm underneath this trailer, in the dirt, cheering Mr. Bear on while he's fighting this opossum... trying to defend me.
  • Sagittarius: I'd sop that boy up with a biscuit... bounce a quarter off that butt...
  • Capricorn: You see, I have this thing where I fucking hate myself but I think I'm better than everybody else.
  • Aquarius: And that's when my brain went, ding ding ding I hate her!
  • Pisces: Once you guys try dill dip you're gonna forget about daddies.
This Valentines Day
  • Whether you're spending it longing
  • Fisherman: Would you stop putting chocolates in the ocean? You're probably poisoning the dolphins!
  • Angelica: I DONT CARE HE NEEDS TO KNOW I REMEMBERED HIM
  • Laughing
  • Laurens: Okay, way way mon amay Jeh mapple Lafayette?
  • Lafayette: *chokes on drink*
  • Working
  • Mulligan: If someone asks me to sew one more pair of god damn assless chaps for another "valentines day surprise" I'm swear to god
  • Traveling
  • Madison: Sir you smell like you haven't showered in weeks
  • Jefferson: I know isn't France great
  • Or even mourning
  • Burr: Dear Theodosia, what to say to you...
  • Just remember th-
  • *cough*
  • Just reme-
  • *cough*
  • What is that loud coughing nois-
  • Peggy: AND PEGGY!
  • Oh, right! Ahem
  • Or even being forgotten
  • Peggy: Finally thank y- heYWAITASEC-
  • JUST remember that no matter how you're spending your Valentine's Day
  • Eliza: *opens door to Alexander with a half eaten box of chocolate*
  • You're always loved
  • Hamilton: Mmrph?
  • Eliza: *sigh* I love you too honey
  • ~<3