Lord of the Rings as History of Japan quotes
- Elrond: and you shall be the fellowship of the ring, who's mission statement is to try not to take over the world.
- Faramir: the assault on Osgiliath has been downgraded to a fuckton Did I say downgraded I meant upgraded
- Witch King of Angmar: open Minas Tirith stop having it be closed
- Aragorn: knock knock, it's Aragorn. With huge boats.
- Gandalf (to Saruman): can you maybe chill?
- Saruman (to Gandalf): how about YOU chill?
- Battle of the Pelennor fields: Gondor is kind of scared of Mordor. You'll never guess who's also kind of scared of Mordor. Rohan. So Gondor and Rohan make an alliance together so they can be "a little less scared of Mordor"
- Sauron: I am interested in taking over the world and I was wondering if you could be my friend.