an incomplete list of lines in aftg that will always fuck me up
“Did you know I’ve never been skiing?”
“I told her what would happen if she raised her hand again. She had no right to look so surprised.”
“His father. Your coach.”
“Who said ‘please’ that made you hate the word so much?” “I did.” / “I was seven,” Andrew said. “I believed him.”
“If it means losing you, then no.”
“Go on, tell me again how I’m too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly affection and love. Tell me this is natural.”
“Good,” Neil said quietly. “So now you understand why Andrew killed your mother.”
“Do you honestly think that if I wanted to kill someone, whether it was myself or someone else, that I would fail so spectacularly at it so many times?”
“Neil,” Wymack said, “between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”
“I’m tired of being nothing.”
“Would it kill you to let something in?” “It almost did last time.”
“Neil? Are you all right?” Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. “No. No, I’m not.”
“Thank you,” he finally said. He couldn’t say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust,
the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. “You were
“Everything I needed, you already gave me. You let me stay.”
“You are a Fox,” Andrew said, like it was that simple, and maybe it was.
“Wait, he chose Neil over you? That sounds a little serious for a fling, don’t you–” Nicky glanced at Neil’s blank face and faltered. “News to you too, huh?”
“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.”
“I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.”
“Stay,” Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.
This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go.