BROCADE: You are a very grand lady. You are of royal blood, whether or not you know it. It is obvious in your regal bearing and your masterful wearing of brocade, that most monarchical of textiles. Brocade makes even velvet look like a commoner. It turns its nose up at taffeta and gives tweed the finger. Brocade is the grandest fabric on the grandest block. So when you see it, think not of sofas or suburban wallpaper. Think instead of world domination, throne rooms, boar-hunting, popes, aspic, tapestries, sceptres, inbreeding and your own undeniable majesty. You can wear brocade. And you should.
— strangely uplifting advice from Tatler’s fashion pages