Waiting is one of life’s hardships. It is hard enough to wait for chocolate cream pie while burnt roast beef is still on your plate. It is plenty difficult to wait for Halloween when the tedious month of September is still ahead of you. But to wait for one’s adopted uncle to come home while a greedy and violent man is upstairs was one of the worst waits the Baudelaires had ever experienced.
“My name is Lemony Snicket and it is my duty to tell you their tale. No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire, but just like that, the Baudelaire children became the Baudelaire orphans." -A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004)
The movie you are about to see is extremely unpleasant. If you wish to see a film about a happy little elf, I’m sure there is still plenty of seating in theatre number two. However, if you like stories about clever and reasonably attractive orphans, suspicious fires, carnivorous leeches, Italian food and secret organizations, then stay, as I retrace each and every one of the Baudelaire children’s woeful steps. My name is Lemony Snicket, and it is my sad duty to document this tale.
Today, Barry Sonnenfeld, whom I believe is the producer of A Series Of Unfortunate Events (both the film and series) posted a photo of Neil and Cobie together. This indicates that he knows Cobie personally, which means that she COULD very well be chosen to play Esme Squalor in the next season of ASOUE. For this, and until future events reveal otherwise, I will proceed to feel very sanguine- a word which here means “incredibly hopeful that Barry won’t miss his opportunity to cast her in literally a perfect role.”
“At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.”