Thirteen Kinds of Hope by Lemony Snicket

There are, also, thirteen types of hope, also described here chronologically:

1) “I hope that my alarm clock went off accidentally in the middle of the night and so it’s not dawn.”

2) “I hope that the quiet camaraderie of breakfast extends throughout the planet.”

3) “I hope that this newspaper is kidding.”

4) “I hope that I look busy to anyone invested in my busyness.”

5) “I hope that I manage not to say what is on my mind whilst speaking with this professional associate.”

6) “I hope that clock is playing a trick on me.”

7) “I hope that the talk at cocktail time is imaginative and hilarious.”

8) “I hope cauliflower is not involved overmuch.”

9) “I hope someone else is doing the dishes.”

10) “I hope that this book improves.”

11) “I hope that noise was nothing.”

12) “I hope that the most obvious and embarrassing interpretation of this dream is off-base in some way I have not yet determined.”

13) There is a thirteenth type of hope, difficult to describe, which occurs outside the confines of the clock – the only one which matters.


Dearest children, since we’ve been abroad we have missed you all so much. Certain events have compelled us to extend our travels. One day, when you’re older, you will learn all about the people we have befriended and the dangers we have faced. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey. We hope to have you back in our arms soon, darlings, but in case this letter arrives before our return, know that we love you. It fills us with pride to know that no matter what happens in this life, that you three will take care of each other, with kindness and bravery and selflessness, as you always have. And remember one thing, my darlings, and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family. And you are home.

“Aren’t raspberries delicious? They were my favorite berry when I was your age.” -The Bad Beginning: Part Two from A Series of Unfortunate Events 

Count Olaf’s Storebought “Homemade” Raspberry Cupcakes

Cake Ingredients

  • 3/8 of a stick of butter (softened) 
  • 1 ½ cups of granulated sugar
  • 1 1/3 cups of flour
  • ¾ cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
  • ¼ tablespoon baking soda
  • 2 tablespoons baking powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon of salt
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup of milk

Cake Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350˚ F. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the sugar and butter. Stir in the two eggs. 
  2. Sift, a word which here means pour through a strainer with the intent of removing clumps, the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl, alternating with adding the milk. 
  3. Line a cupcake sheet with 12 wrappers, then pour the batter evenly between the cups. Bake for 17-19 minutes. Let cool before decorating. 

Frosting Ingredients

  • 6 oz of raspberries
  • 6 oz of cream cheese 
  • 5/8 of a stick of butter (softened)
  • 4 cups of powdered sugar

Vexing Frosting Directions

  1. Set aside 12 of the prettiest raspberries for decorating later on. 
  2. Macerate, a word which here means ‘puree’, a word which here means ‘reduce to a pulp’, the remainder of the raspberries. 
  3. Add the softened butter and mix well. Mix in the cream cheese and powdered sugar. 
  4. If frosting is too liquid, put it on a stove and reduce, or add more powdered sugar. If too thick, add a splash of milk. 
  5. Decorate cupcakes as shown below. 

Feels like this episode kicked off the final piece of the campaign because of how the structure of it changed…

it feels like how at the end of a series, the status quo gets flipped. like how in the last Harry Potter, they’re not at Hogwarts and they’re criminals, and in the last several Animorphs books, their identities are known and the Yeerks can morph too, or how in the last ASOUE book there’s no disguises and no quirky new guardian or place to live, just the kids and Count Olaf on an island. Or how in the final Pendragon book, all the Travelers can shapeshift and are functionally immortal, and the flumes break.

It’s a normal narrative thing, to set up the normal structure of the series and then leave it at the final moment, but it still makes me really uneasy. I like my characters to be the way they always were, doing the things they always do. I like the structure of ‘be assigned relic recovery by the director, go reclaim it (helped or hindered by the locals), return it and have it be destroyed. Red robes are bad, Bureau is good.’ I know it’s necessary for all plots to deviate from their formula, but like…. it still scares me to go into the unknown like this.

Also, I don’t want them to forget Kravitz :(


Anyone who knew Violet well could tell she was thinking hard, because her long hair was tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. Violet had a real knack for inventing and building strange devices, so her brain was often filled with images of pulleys, levers, and gears, and she never wanted to be distracted by something as trivial as her hair.