asoiaf secrets

House Reed, Lord of Greywater Watch, Sworn to Stark. Rules the crannogmen, small men who live in swamps and marshes in the Neck. They share a deep connection to the Children of the Forest. There is no maester there, nor any knights or masters-at-arms.

“Their houses move, even the castles like Greywater Watch.”

anonymous asked:

One question why is their a large lack of large scale big knight orders like the knights templar knights hospitaler and Teutonic Knights even warhammer has the down with the reiksguard knights of the white wolf and knights of Moore so for example I think their would be say a knights of the golden lion and you should make up orders for all the kingdoms

Ok, well you’ve pushed me into it…

  • The Vale: The Brotherhood of Winged Knights, natch. Seven knights to honor the Seven. Chosen by a tourney of no less than 77 applicants to guard the King of the Mountain and Vale for seven years. To honor the memory of Artys Arryn’s victory, the Brotherhood have a custom of insisting that any Arryn who takes the field of battle must don an eighth set of the armor and livery of the Brotherhood, to ensure that his enemies cannot spy him out. And hey, let’s go nuts and say that the Winged Knights are especially feared for their horse-frightening harnesses. 
  • The Riverlands: The Order of the Trident. One of the more recent chivalric orders in Westeros, the Order of the Trident was founded by House Teague in order to bolster their hold on their newly-won kingdom. By their original charter, the knights of the Trident were charged with maintaining the peace on the “roads and rivers of our kingdom,” which led to the construction of many chapter houses at fords and other intersections where travelers could sleep protected - in more recent centuries following the fall of House Teague, many of these chapter houses were abandoned and later converted into inns. This charter also requires each member to maintain a shallow-drafted warship of no less than 10 oars a side, which may explain their ceremonial weapons. Notably, rather than implicitly stating it, only members of the Faith of the Seven are allowed to join, which is why no Blackwood has ever participated and why every single generation of Brackens have held membership (with no less than a dozen grand-masters among them). According to rumor, the Order may have been instrumental behind-the-scenes in many of the rebellions against those rulers who succeeded the Teagues to the crown of the Riverlands - which is probably false…
  • The Westerlands: The Grand and Most Puissant Order of the Golden Mane. Unlike most orders of chivalry in Westeros, the Order of the Golden Mane was primarily not a martial order - rather, the Order was established during the reign of King Norwin Lannister as a means of raising revenue, with membership dues being originally listed at 100 grains of pure gold annually. In exchange for their dues, members were granted knighthoods if they did not already have them, but also a number of privileges including the right to be tried only by the Order, the right to arbitration by the Order in all disputes between fellow members, and even the right to advise the king on “weighty matters.” During the rule of Tytos Lannister, these privileges were badly abused by dozens of social climbers, leading to the diminishment of the order’s prestige and an increase in public disorder, as many used the order’s immunity from normal criminal procedure as a shield against Casterly Rock itself. Shortly before the Reynes of Castamere, Tywin Lannister raised the membership fee to five times the member’s body-weight in gold, and then took advantage of a number of sudden vacancies to have the order declared extinct due to lack of quorum. 
  • The Reach: since the Order of the Green Hand is taken, let’s talk about the Lady Companions of the Blessed Maris. Given the Reach’s love affair with tourneys, pageants, dances, and other social occasions, someone has to do the organizing of the social calendar, otherwise the whole thing goes haywire and vendettas set up. Guided by an inner circle of noblewomen who can trace their descent to Maris the Maid, Rowan Goldenhair, or Ellyn Ever-Sweet (all women of acceptable moral purity, although of course the Gardener Queen was always given a position out of respect for Highgarden), the Lady Companions make sure that each seat of note is appropriately honored with fetes, that there are always enough tourneys to keep the knights occupied while ensuring decent attendance at each, and that enough mixed-gender events are held to ensure that the right young ladies meet the right young men. While the Green Hand may have perished on the field of battle, the work of the Lady Companions continue to this day, although there was much grumbling when a certain Tyrell claimed the Gardener Seat for her house on the grounds that Aegon had deeded Highgarden to them.
  • The Stormlands: The Ancient and Most Honorable Guild of Castlewrights. While the origins of the Guild are lost to legend and myth (some tales claim that the founders of the guild were the assistants of the mysterious Brandon who built the final castle of Storm’s End), the Stormlands takes the construction of castles more seriously than any other realm. To that end, the Durrandon kings gave (in addition to the honor of knighthood) this order the “responsibility for inspecting and maintaining the castles of my kingdom,” along with some fairly wide-ranging powers to commandeer labor and materials to make repairs when necessary for the defense of the realm. Over the centuries, the Guild turned into an order of knights who were experts both in the construction of castles and siegecraft. Many a seemingly desperate siege was won or lost due to the presence of a single Guildman using their authority to take over direction of assault or defense of the castle, especially in the Marches. Famously, the Guildmen take an oath never to allow themselves to be captured alive, lest they be tortured into revealing their occult wisdom. 
  • Dorne: The Knights of the Wells. If there is anything that unites the often fractious peoples of Dorne, it is their common love of horse-riding. Thus, to keep their people happy and distracted, the Martells have organized both hippodrome races and cross-country races for the better part of a thousand years. Recruited from among the ranks of the winners, the Knights of the Wells were trained in the arts of cartography by maesters from Sunspear, given the best sand steeds that the Martells can buy and, formally, charged with little more than accurately mapping the oft-foreboding terrain of Dorne. Informally, the Knights of the Wells were the Martells’ best spies and scouts, who use their superior knowledge of the land to guide the armies of Dorne and track the armies of her enemies, and many wars have been won (or lost) because of the bravery and cunning of these swordless knights. Membership in the Wells is a dangerous proposition, however - both in Aegon’s War and Daeron’s, the order saw casualties of more than nine in ten of their members, with the Targaryens frequently posting lavish bounties for their deaths. Indeed, it was a significant provision of Daeron II’s treaty that the Martells were forbidden from re-establishing the Knights of the Wells, although some claim the order continues in secret…

i think its funny how sansa told bran to hide under his blanket so “demons” couldn’t get him but when a “spirit” tries to scare them she goes running for the hills and it’s arya who throws down and scolds it for scaring baby bran lol

which makes me think of how after ned and the girls receive the news that bran is going to live sansa dreams of him smiling; probably a subconscience projection of the boy she remembers who was so lovable as well as a sign of her own happiness. but at winterfell bran wakes up changed. he’s definitely not smiling. he has lost the use of his legs. his hopes and dreams have been broken. 

and that quickly occurs to arya. she remembers how he wanted to be a knight of the kingsguard and is the one who asks what will happen to bran when he comes of age. she reminds their father of bran’s dreams of knighthood and he confirms that path is no longer an option. later in agot, arya wonders if bran is sad too. 

both show their idealistic vs pragmatic perspectives. sansa sees the good happy news but arya reflects more on what this will mean for brans future and how it will make him feel. arya has more reason to at this point too. while sansa is living out her fairy tale in kings landing arya wants to return home to be with her brothers. and she knows what it feels like to be uncertain of your fate
They Shall Have Stars
By Organization for Transformative Works

There is a tower deep in the Red Mountains that only blooms when lovers’ souls it finds.

AKA the result of me completely forgetting to sign up for the @alternatesongs​ challenge but stealing one of @valiantnedspreciouslittlegirl​’s prompts anyway.

ser-lorass  asked:

So we know your thoughts on R+L=J but what about R+L = J+M? They are the same age, she could be the third head (Though not what R planned). Her book description is similar to Arya, who we know looks the closest to Jon.

Hi ser-lorass! I’m responding to you, and to aplyflwynd, baasovlov, and staybadassmissjackson, who all sent in asks on this subject. I’m also addressing this answer to huffingtonpost/huffposttv, whose wonderful little article is the reason why I’ve received 4 asks on this subject in less than 36 hours.

The theory: R+L=J+M – that Jon Snow is not the son of Ned Stark and some unknown woman, but actually the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark… but Lyanna didn’t just have one child, she had twins! Jon and Meera Reed are twins, just like Luke and Leia!!! Oh my god, this changes everything!!!!!

The evidence: Looks.

HuffPo posted some pictures of Kit Harington and Ellie Kendrick, the actors who play Jon and Meera (respectively) on Game of Thrones, and says they look alike. Um, sure. Maybe they might, a little. (If you ignore bone structure, facial shape, eye shape, jaw shape, nose shape, lip shape, everything except for the fact they both have dark curly hair.) But the show is the show, and we can note that Arya and Jon are supposed to look extremely alike, as well as Ned and Jon, and yet… they don’t. Not to mention the fact that Bran and Rickon are supposed to all be auburn-haired and have the same face shape as Robb and Sansa and their mother Catelyn… and yet, on the show, they don’t. The show’s casting doesn’t prove anything, sorry.

But “Meera looks like Arya in the books”, you say! No, not really. Bran’s narrative says she reminds him of Arya. (So does one of the Children of the Forest, note.) And this is the reason why:

Jojen was so solemn that Old Nan called him “little grandfather,” but Meera reminded Bran of his sister Arya. She wasn’t scared to get dirty, and she could run and fight and throw as good as a boy.

A Clash of Kings, Bran IV

However, this is what Meera actually looks like:

As the newcomers walked the length of the hall, Bran saw that one was indeed a girl, though he would never have known it by her dress. She wore lambskin breeches soft with long use, and a sleeveless jerkin armored in bronze scales. Though near Robb’s age, she was slim as a boy, with long brown hair knotted behind her head and only the barest suggestion of breasts. A woven net hung from one slim hip, a long bronze knife from the other; under her arm she carried an old iron greathelm spotted with rust; a frog spear and round leathern shield were strapped to her back.
Her brother was several years younger and bore no weapons. All his garb was green, even to the leather of his boots, and when he came closer Bran saw that his eyes were the color of moss, though his teeth looked as white as anyone else’s. Both Reeds were slight of build, slender as swords and scarcely taller than Bran himself.

A Clash of Kings, Bran III

Meera Reed was sixteen, a woman grown, but she stood no higher than her brother. All the crannogmen were small, she told Bran once when he asked why she wasn’t taller. Brown-haired, green-eyed, and flat as a boy, she walked with a supple grace that Bran could only watch and envy.

A Storm of Swords, Bran I

Please note that not only is Meera very short for her age (barely taller than an 8-year-old boy), because she’s a crannogwoman, but she also looks much like her brother Jojen, with the same height, the same brown hair and green eyes. Funny, you’d think that if Meera were Rhaegar and Lyanna’s child, she should look like at least one of her parents. (They don’t have contacts in Westeros.)

Jon Snow, however:

Jon’s eyes were a grey so dark they seemed almost black… –A Game of Thrones, Bran I

[Ned] had a grim cast to his grey eyes this day… A Game of Thrones, Bran I

Arya had her father’s eyes, the grey eyes of the Starks. –A Dance with Dragons, Reek (Theon) II

[Arya] even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. A Game of Thrones, Sansa I

And her betrothed [Brandon] looked at her with the cool grey eyes of a Stark and promised to spare the boy who loved her. –A Clash of Kings, Catelyn VII

The evidence: Age

Shocker! Meera and Jon are the same age! (Both 16-17 years old as of ADWD, both born in 283 AC.) Well gosh oh golly oh wow, you got me there. But you have to pity poor Lyanna, because guess who else was born in 283:

No wonder Lyanna died in childbirth, having undecuplets is really hard on a woman. :(

The evidence: Themes. Oh, this one isn’t even worth talking about, but you remember Romulus and Remus, right? The founders of Rome? They were twins, nursed by a she-wolf! Surely that means Lyanna the Stark she-wolf had twins! And because Jon Snow and Meera Reed are just like Romulus and Remus! I greatly look forward to the scene where Jon and Meera build a city together and then he kills her. Truly, that will be some of GRRM’s finest writing.

But enough about this “evidence”. Let’s talk real proof.

One of the best run-downs of the evidence for Jon Snow’s parentage is here. It’s my favorite link for proof of R+L=J, because it lists all the quotes in the narrative that lead to this conclusion. (Although since it’s a pre-ADWD list, it doesn’t have some of the most recent evidence, but it’s still great.) If you follow the link, you’ll see some of the most significant quotes are from Ned Stark’s narrative. Notably, when Ned is speaking with Cersei, he does not list Jon as one of his children:

“You love your children, do you not?”
Robert had asked him the very same question, the morning of the melee. He gave her the same answer. “With all my heart.”
“No less do I love mine.”
Ned thought, If it came to that, the life of some child I did not know, against Robb and Sansa and Arya and Bran and Rickon, what would I do? Even more so, what would Catelyn do, if it were Jon’s life, against the children of her body? He did not know. He prayed he never would.

A Game of Thrones, Eddard XII

And when he’s in the dungeons, with his regrets:

The thought of Jon filled Ned with a sense of shame, and a sorrow too deep for words. If only he could see the boy again, sit and talk with him…

A Game of Thrones, Eddard XV

People who believe in the R+L=J theory feel that in this scene Ned is deeply regretting that he has never told Jon Snow the truth about his mother. How interesting, then, that it doesn’t include the line “And if only he could see Meera Reed, sit and talk with her…”

In fact, Ned never once thinks of Meera Reed at all. Take a look for yourself. He does think of Howland Reed a few times, but never about Howland’s children. You would think, if there were any truth to the idea that Lyanna had twins, and made Ned promise to keep her son safe and raise him as his bastard and never tell him about his parentage, but give her daughter away to be raised by someone else (because that makes sense), there’d be some part of Ned’s narrative that would lead to this conclusion. Something about Howland protecting the gift Ned had given him, perhaps. Anything. Any textual evidence of any kind.

Well, there isn’t any. Because this theory is crap, and entirely baseless, with nothing but the coincidence of age and two actors with brown curly hair. Oh, and an idea stolen from movie series that, y’know, is popular and had a heck of a twist that was not that much of a reveal because Leia is the only female character of any substance in the original trilogy… ahem… hey, that is something, isn’t it? If ASOIAF was really leading to some huge reveal about Meera being Jon’s sister, you’d think that Meera would be at least as important a character as Jon? But though I do love her, she really really isn’t; Meera’s a supporting character in Bran’s story, and that’s all. Meera is Howland Reed and his wife Jyana’s daughter, and Jojen’s sister, and that’s all.

(Oh, and Meera’s mother isn’t Ashara Dayne. And Jyana isn’t Lyanna. And Howland isn’t Arthur Dayne. And Howland isn’t the High Sparrow. And Wylla Manderly isn’t Jon’s real twin sister. And Dany isn’t Jon’s twin sister/Lyanna’s real secret child either. You know, this fandom has way too much time on its hands.)

Why ‘Tyrion Targaryen’ is neither logical nor desirable

I’d argue that this theory, were it true, would not just undermine the compelling nature of Tyrion’s story and greatly weaken its impact, but it would undermine much of the series itself.

Practically, Tyrion Targaryen Does Not Make Sense

1. Tyrion’s Appearance

Tyrion’s white-blond hair and mismatched eyes are regularly cited as signs of his secret dragon heritage, but when reading the text it becomes obvious that his appearance actually proves the opposite, and that the theorists are attempting to make 2+2 equal 7. Tommen, who is literally 100% Lannister, is also described as having white-blond hair. Furthermore, Targaryen hair is silver, not white-blond. Tyrion’s eyes are green and black, while people try and insist the black is really very dark purple to maintain he has a Targaryen ‘look’. Nope, GRRM says it’s black, it’s black. In short - there’s ample proof he’s a Lannister, and absolutely none he’s a Targaryen.

Then we have those who think Tyrion’s dwarfism and deformity came about thanks to a botched abortion after Joanna was raped…and those people clearly have no idea how abortions work or how genetics work. And those are the least problematic things about a suggestion in which ableism and ignorance are united in service to an illogical theory.

2. Only a Lannister can love the Rock, but not only a dragon can love a dragon

Tyrion’s held a deep interest in and passion for dragons since he was a little boy. This theory stops there, takes that fact at face value and runs with it, without bothering to examine the reasons behind Tyrion’s fascination with dragons. A combination of his physical limitations and his father considering him a deep source of shame meant that Tyrion was kept out of sight, and out of mind, and so reading became his primary activity. It was through reading that he discovered dragons, and it was his family’s abuse and his own loathing of what he was that made him want one of his own.

“Oh, yes. Even a stunted, twisted, ugly little boy can look down over the world when he’s seated on a dragon’s back.” Tyrion pushed the bearskin aside and climbed to his feet. “I used to start fires in the bowels of Casterly Rock and stare at the flames for hours, pretending they were dragonfire. Sometimes I’d imagine my father burning. At other times, my sister.” (Tyrion II, AGOT)

To a disabled, despised little boy desperate to escape a wretched existence, a dragon would have held immense appeal. He imagines using one to fly, so no one will mock or look down at him, and to put and end to the family members who abuse and torment him. Tyrion’s fascination with dragons is rooted in his childhood experiences, not in his blood; and if anything it’s meant to foreshadow his eventual role as a dragonrider, not hidden secret of birth.

3. The horrible A + J = T equation

By far the worst part of this theory for me - I’ve previously addressed how Joanna would never consensually sleep with Aerys, and how rape is also extremely improbable here, and here.

Thematically, Tyrion Targaryen Adds Nothing And Detracts An Awful Lot

1. It diminishes Tywin Lannister’s role in the story, and in Tyrion’s life

Essentially, if Tyrion is not Tywin’s son, the chapters in which they interact become so many wasted pages, because so much of Tyrion is tied up with being Tywin’s son. GRRM devotes a lot of time to this relationship, especially in ASOS, developing it in all its twisted glory, highlighting the parallels while drawing the sharp contrasts. The reason for this is clear - Tyrion’s life and very self has been shaped and defined by his father, it is by far the most important as well as the most toxic relationship he has, and there’s no narrative purpose whatsoever to undercut all this by removing the factor that makes this tragic and abusive relationship so compelling. It wouldn’t matter that Tyrion thought Tywin was his father, we as the readers would know better and our investment in the Tyrion/Tywin dynamic would drop off the charts. We’re supposed to have a mixed reaction to Tyrion’s murder of his father as well. While we might (and do) cheer Tywin’s death in itself for his many, many sins, and chuckle at the quip about him not shitting gold after all, Tyrion killing him is not supposed to be a moment of triumph - it is supposed to be gut-wrenching (no pun intended, Tywin) that a father-son relationship has come to this. It shuts the door on Tyrion ever getting approval or any sort of acknowledgement from his father, it denies him and us catharsis (as Tyrion swiftly finds out, any satisfaction he gained from killing Tywin is very short lived and the guilt, regardless of how much Tywin deserved it, will be lifelong). If we go back to this after finding out that Tyrion is not a kinslayer and did not murder his actual father, this scene, and Tyrion’s arc in ADWD loses virtually all of its power for us as readers. The enormity of the act is diluted to the point where it’s a simple act of righteous vengeance instead of a complicated act of kinslaying. That’s not GRRM’s style, as he likes his shades of grey, and this would make things very black and white.

What’s more, GRRM deliberately set Tywin up as an almost God-like figure for best part of the first three books and then proceeded (and will continue) to tear him, his image, and everything he worked for or cared about down. It’s fitting that as the defining representation of a profoundly oppressive, elitist ruling class and perpetrator of its worst atrocities, Tywin’s downfall is ultimately precipitated by his violent abuse of a commoner: his belief system, his brutal use of violence to end anything he perceives as a threat to him, his utter contempt for the smallfolk, his devotion solely to his own family’s continuing power and status at the expense of others, his ableism towards and mistreatment of Tyrion were all things GRRM fully intended to be proven wrong and ironically self-destructive in the end, and he uses what Tywin did to Tysha as the catalyst for this. He intends for Tywin to be proven wrong about everything and for everything he worked for to come crashing down, hard. So for Tyrion not to be his son would completely fly in the face of all that; it would vindicate Tywin, it would prove he was right to deny Tyrion Casterly Rock, it would justify his disowning him. GRRM is doing to Tywin what Doran Martell hoped to do - albeit stripping him of all he held dear after he killed him off - he is not going to throw him a juicy bone like this.  

A common claim in support of this theory is that it would be supremely ironic for the son most like Tywin to not actually be his son, but that wouldn’t actually be ironic at all, not when it would grant Tywin his bitterest wish; that he could deny that Tyrion is his. In this scenario, the last laugh is not on Tywin, it is on Tyrion. And there’s not exactly an irony deficiency here already either, as Tywin Lannister’s entire life ends up being a cosmic joke: his brand of short-term, swift brutality in reaction to his father’s abysmally weak rule ends up being infinitely more destructive to House Lannister in the long term, and the son he wished wasn’t his is actually him writ small. 

2. It would kneecap the Jon Snow reveal, and for what?

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde: to have one Secret Targaryen may be regarded as a good twist, to have two looks like carelessness. Adding another Secret Targaryen to the mix would feel like a cheap knock-off of Jon’s arc, and would go a long way to ruining the significance and poignancy of the Rhaegar + Lyanna = Jon reveal that’s been beautifully and clearly set up. No such care has been taken to prepare the reader to discover Tyrion is Aerys’ son - one line from Barristan Selmy in ADWD regarding Aerys taking liberties at Joanna’s bedding, five books in, is what almost single-handedly gave this theory wings- for the simple reason that he isn’t. The long-standing logic is that as Dany and Jon, both of whom have Targaryen blood, are the two heads, the third must also be a Targaryen (even though GRRM has come out and said the third head will not necessarily be a Targaryen). Nope. There is a clear narrative reason for Jon to be Rhaegar’s son, there is no reason at all for Tyrion to be Aerys’ son, and a great many reasons for him not to be.

Challenge Your-Shelf 2016 BPC

July 3 ● Water

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It’s always our self we find in the sea.

anonymous asked:

Do you think that Jon's parentage will be revealed to the rest of Westeros? I kinda think it doesn't matter if it's revealed to the rest of the world or not.

Hello anon!

Hope you are having a good day. Short answer No, it won’t because it won’t matter. Long answer….

“Tyrion Lannister had claimed that most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it, but Jon was done with denials. He was who he was; Jon Snow, bastard and oathbreaker, motherless, friendless, and damned. For the rest of his life –however long that might be– he would be condemned to be an outsider, the silent man standing in the shadows who dares not speak his true name.”

I always think of this quote when the topic of Jon’s true identity comes up. Fans are always talking about how GRRM is a trope buster but when it comes to the closest thing GRRM has to a “classic archetype hero” characters in his story (Jon Snow) too many believe that GRRM will play the trope straight. I personally don’t think so.

A large part of Jon’s arc is tied to his identity not only as a bastard but also as the son of Eddard Stark. Jon has emulated his father’s behavior, he does a lot of WWND (what would Ned do). It’s what has guided his moral compass throughout his life. To then find out that this man who he loves and admires is not actually his father will be earth-shattering, heartbreaking, and soul-crushing to him.

The irony of it all will be that he will still be a bastard but instead of Ned Stark’s bastard, he will be Rhaegar Targaryen’s bastard, a man who he does not know much about and all he knows about him is that he was the Crown Prince who kidnapped and raped his aunt. This will not be good news in any way, shape or form to Jon. Even if/when he finds out that his biological parents (Ned stark IS and will ALWAYS be Jon Snow’s father) loved each other it won’t change the fact that the man who he grew up loving and admiring was not his “real” father. Needless to say that if Jon finds out that his parents “made him” to help fulfill a prophecy, well, that’ll be icing on the cake of pain he’ll be feeling.

Regarding everyone knowing about this, why would Jon want that? I think he will feel ashamed, embarrassed, and completely distraught, why would he want to share that with anyone? He will have to deal with his personal pain ad come to terms with the man he is before wanting to share that information with anyone. And quite frankly if he ever shares it, it’ll be with the people he trust and loves the most not with the public at large. Additionally, there is no way for him to prove it, who would believe his tree-wizard brother?  And Howland Reed was there when Lyanna died, not when she got married, if she ever did. And of course then we get into the whole polygamy mess (there were only two Targaryen kings that practice polygamy, both were kings and both had dragons in order to impose these marriages, Rhaegar was neither was a king nor did he have dragons). It’s not something that’s easily believable and might cause him more problems than help him.

Besides, Jon didn’t (won’t) need a fancy last name in order to become king.

PS. Regarding Dany, I’m not sure how he would handle that with her but I think he would want to meet her and get to know her before dropping that bomb.

jeff22003  asked:

I was wondering if you or someone else in the ASOIAF community could answer something for me. If during the Aerys/Tywin era a whole new sewer system was built (that's how he installed the tunnel between the Tower of the Hand and Chataya's) then why does the city smell so bad? I mean beyond the whole corruption of the city has manifested physically thing.

I don’t think a new sewer system was built in King’s Landing when Tywin was Hand under Aerys? It’s possible that it was, but IIRC there’s nothing in any book that says so. TWOIAF says that Tywin “built new roads and repaired old ones”, but it doesn’t say a thing about him repairing sewer systems. I do believe Tywin had the tunnel to Chataya’s secretly built (though not from the Tower of the Hand, but from a stable three blocks away from the brothel), but that might have been through a roadworks project, not a sewer project.

Anyway, if there haven’t been any public works projects to repair and/or expand the sewers of King’s Landing in recent years, then this is all there is:

Great works to improve King’s Landing were also implemented—drains and sewers and wells, especially, for Barth believed that fresh water and the flushing away of offal and waste were important to a city’s health.

The World of Ice and Fire - The Targaryen Kings: Jaehaerys I

Which is all well and good, and I’m sure the King’s Landing sewers were amazing when King Jaehaerys and Septon Barth had them built. (c. 59-99 AC.) But these days, if a city of half a million people is being served by a 240-year-old unrepaired/unmanaged sewer system, then it’s no wonder that it stinks like a privy.

anonymous asked:

Tyrion is Lannister..But what about Cersei and Jaime? Wouldn't it be greatly ironic if Tyrion 'The Imp', who has been rejected all his life ('All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes') was Tywin's only trueborn child? Tywin murder could be parraleling with Aerys murder (both Tyrion and Jaime killing their fathers). Cersei also seem to be fascinated with the Targaryens, she had drawn a picture of herself flying on a dragon, and her personnality is always assimilated to a fire.

I can say with 100% certainty that Jaime and Cersei are not secret Targaryens, because the timeline of events given in TWOIAF thoroughly destroys this as a possibility:

263AC - Joanna and Tywin marry, the ‘liberties at the bedding’ happens. This Secret Targ theory is predicated on ‘liberties’ being rape. (Given Tywin was fully aware of the liberties being taken and while being immensely pissed, does not resign as Hand/try and kill Aerys, is a very clear indication it was not). Joanna leaves court pretty much immediately afterwards after being dismissed from Queen Rhaella’s service.

266AC - Jaime and Cersei are born at Casterly Rock. Aerys does not visit Casterly Rock until 267, a year after their birth, and Joanna has not been at court during this time. It is physically impossible for the twins to have been sired by Aerys.

Also, Cersei drawing herself and Rhaegar on a dragon indicates nothing for the same reason Tyrion’s fascination with dragons doesn’t, as @joannalannister pointed out in a note to my original post:

Just to add: Cersei also had fantasies of dragons as a child, in which she drew herself flying on a dragon with Rhaegar, “For dragons are fire made flesh, and fire is power.” In ASOIAF, dragons are a symbol of power for oppressed groups in general, not an indicator of secret ancestry.

And not every comparison to fire is a comparison to a Targaryen - Jaime thinks his sister is ‘all wildfire’ as a metaphor for her uncontrollable, passionate nature, lack of judgment and compulsion to destroy. Joffrey was explicitly described as “Aerys the Third” by Tyrion because his cruel, capricious behaviour resembled that of the Mad King, not because he secretly and accidentally does have his blood in his veins.

And no, this fails the “wouldn’t it be ironic” metric too. The irony inherent in Tywin’s relationship with all three of his children is already at Greek tragedy levels: Tywin wanted Jaime to be a knight, Cersei to be a queen and was convinced Tyrion, like Tytos, would bring House Lannister to ruin with his sexual escapades. Well, Jaime does become a knight…of the Kingsguard, a position that removes him as Tywin’s heir and ruins his father’s plans for him. Cersei does become a queen…and in that position will utterly destroy her father’s legacy. Tyrion is his father’s true son, the one who will save Westeros and (potentially) ensure there is a future for House Lannister…while it’s his precious golden twins’ sexual shenanigans which ends up greatly weakening House Lannister as well as the entire realm.

Thinking this situation needs more irony in the form of “they’re not actually his kids!!” is like looking at a beautifully baked and delicious cheesecake, deciding it’s not tasty enough and then pouring tomato ketchup all over it. There’s plenty of flavour there already, and what you think needs adding would only ruin it.