too busy doing the coolkid thing?? i hope not, because this is an important day!! so stop that and get your feathery butt over here. i know it’s a lot of fun flying around, but you sort of need to be grounded for something like this. ok, not really, but it would be pretty sweet if you are, because this gift doesn’t know how to fly unless i do the windy thing on it but that might break what’s inside!!
… then again, i guess it’d be safe in your hands if you’re already reading this letter. but anyway!! we are moving on before we fixate on john egbert’s failure, ok? anyway. (i have been saying anyway a lot today hopy shit.) anyway!!! i just wanted to say…
your feathery butt stinks. :B
and happy birthday!!!!
i know i was such a huge ass to you back then, and i’m still really sorry about that. but you know you’re my best bro, right? alternate timelines be damned, i don’t even care. i already told you before, but you got us through some really tough times. we seriously couldn’t have done it without you.
so… this gift sort of doubles up as a birthday present and a thank you gift. hopefully you’ll like it. be sure to flip through the pages to see a bonus surprise! :B even though you’d probably tell me to stop wasting film after you see it–oops.
i said too much already.
ok, i am stopping there.
happy birthday again, dave!! i hope you have a blast on your special day!
What’s in store for Dave is not one, but two presents: a camera and a photo album. John knows that Dave has probably handled way better equipment than this, but nothing beats a vintage classic! And like the letter said, if Dave happens to flip through the album’s pages, he’ll find something meant just for him.
Whoa. Looks like it already has pictures, but who the heck takes pictures of written messages?? Obviously John Egbert does. Let’s take a look at what they say.
What follows that ridiculous picture-letter is an equally ridiculous (and hilariously bad) camwhoring session as brought to you by the one and only John Egbert. You’re going to have to use your imagination for this one, because his roleplayer can’t draw for crap. The faces he made at the camera range from DERPTASTIC to TOTALLY LAME, but at least it looks like he’s having fun. There’s even one where he’s posing beside a pretty crappy but lifesize drawing of Davesprite, while wearing shades and acting all coolkid-like.
But the last one might be the picture that stands out the most.
It’s just John again (obviously), but he’s holding up a sign–the same one from earlier. His smile here is brighter than the ones he’s wearing in all the other pictures, so he hopes it’s enough to deliver the message home. If not, at least he has a sign that sums it up pretty well:
Here’s to another good one.