asked by my wife

roxiehartt  asked:

there was also a dude who impersonated an MI5 agent and he very apparently took his titles from james bond, because his IT company was in trouble and he didnt want to lose his boat. and then he just. kept going with it

oh my god

this guy is my hero

did you ever hear about the guy who just. he just really hated the nazis. he was this italian guy i think? and he really wanted to spy for the allies but like?? no one would listen to him. so he just went to the fascists instead and was like “hey i’ll spy for you” but really he just fuckin trolled them and gave them fake info to fuck with them. and eventually MI6 hires him like “damn dude you actually are pretty good at this” and he was like “yea no shit i tried to tell ya” and he made up a bunch of fake identities to screw up axis plans and make them think they were being targeted by some sort of deep cover black ops hit team

anyway yea he’s kinda my hero bc he single handedly fucked with a good amount of axis higher ups out of pure fuckin spite and if that ain’t a damn mood 

kickingpixies  asked:

My boss has FINALLY got some new employees. It's a small business, but there were literally four of us, including him to cover all the shifts before, that's 2 fryers and 2 servers and we're open 7 days a week. I'm a server and I only do Monday and Tuesday, so when I've had to take days off, my boss has had to literally ask his wife to cover for me. It's been crazy stressful for everyone and he only started hiring because I'm quitting soon.

True Story: At the dinner table my wife asked me which sized batteries the camp lantern took. I said “they take “Ds”. Then I said “yeah baby you need the “D”. My wife not understanding internet humor had no idea what I was going on about and so she said: “I heard you I need the “D”, to which, I, perpetual adolescent that I am, laughed hysterically. My daughter Ann stood up, tossed her napkin down, gave me a look of disgust and said: “boys are gross”. 

As I stood at the bathroom door (waiting for it to be serviced) in the middle of the Sunset Boulevard cast party, I watched a very happy, relaxed and drunk Glenn kissing everyone and enjoying the end of her epic run of Sunset. It was pretty glorious, I’m glad I could experience it myself so many times and with my faves, my wife and Chrystal.

And Glo bought a round of drinks for the cast because my wife is wonderful, and asked for it to be anonymous but the owner of the bar is the sweetest woman alive and had to tell the cast, who then so generously came up to where we were seated and thanked her for it. And then the owner brought my wife over to meet her fave again (Fred Johansen who played Max) and spoke to Glenn too.

It was just a fantastic night in New York City. Home again tomorrow. A whirlwind trip but totally worth it.

sevensity  asked:

Hey wife you should promo me *whispers* also I'm sorry I'll start writing again soon I promise

why would i want to do that

kiDDING OKAY Y’ALL SHOULD CHECK OUT MY WIFE @sevensity AND LIKE BOTHER HER TO START WRITING AGAIN 

that way i can write my requests and not feel bad about them being lATE RIP ~Admin 404

8

modern disney aesthetic
↳ aladdin

anonymous asked:

You are my favorite mystic messenger artist and I am lowkey obsessed with your Jaehee fanart. I was wondering if you could do a long haired Jaehee with a messy bun? I am thinking of buying a commission of this but I don't have the money at the moment

well i liked it anyway (♡´౪`♡) also i really love her christmas outfit

Incorrect Quote #15
  • Rhysand: Come on. I didn't drink that much last night.
  • Mor: You were flirting with Feyre.
  • Rhysand: So what? She's my wife.
  • Mor: You asked her if she was single...
  • Mor: And started crying when she said she wasn't.
why my chem teacher is the most dad™ teacher and all-around coolest ever

- spent 5 minutes one day complaining about the transition effects and lame fonts on the old chem teacher’s lecture slides

- had us take a survey the first day of school in which he included a question about being stuck on a desert island with justin bieber

- while teaching us nomenclature conventions for alkanes, pointed at “pent-” and said “obviously you show know some of these already; if you’re a satanist you probably know what a pentagram is,” opened a discussion of temple of satan vs. satanic temple, and said he’d be interested in joining the satanic temple one day 

- a lecture slide on calorimetry included a picture of a bomb calorimeter, which he explained in depth, then held up a styrofoam cup and said “here’s a public school calorimeter”

- someone asked a question about when electronegativity becomes polar, so he pulled up a spectrum running from non-polar to ionic and said “it’s a spectrum. like gender. you know how some people think a person is a girl even if they say they’re a guy and vice versa? there are still non-polar bonds with high electronegativity and people think they should be polar but just because they have a certain electronegativity doesn’t mean they’re polar. pls be understanding of ur covalent kids.” 

- uses a yardstick instead of a pointer

- waves said yardstick around frequently, mostly for no reason. 

- once said (ironically) that he saw less and less bullying in classrooms now and that was a bit disappointing even though it was good. added that “if i had to suffer then you all do too” in a bitter tone of voice. when a english teacher walked in and asked him why he was waving the yardstick around he said it was because he was reminiscing on the bullying days.

- couple of us asked if we should get a new periodic table to take the test with since we’d written all over ours. he said no because if we’re smart enough to think ahead and cheat then we deserve the a.

- actually has a degree in philosophy. he’s so fucking nerdy

- he bikes to school everyday and then carries his bike up two flights of stairs to his classroom

- sometimes during tests he pulls a bagel and peanut butter out of his desk and eats them while watching us silently

- this one time we walked into class and he’d shaved off his half-beard into a mustache and when we asked why he said “i’m not a huge fan of it but my wife likes it so i do it for her” 

- used the trump supporter kid’s logic against him without explicitly expressing his political views so no one can actually get him fired

- complains to our class about how much he hates us

- explained catalytic converters to us once, then pointed at me with the yardstick and said “barrett you’re gonna love this because it involves carbon monoxide and like, suffocating yourself”

- i started crying once in class and he literally refused to give me the test because he didn’t think it would be fair to make me test while having an anxiety attack so he sent me into the lab and closed the classroom door and let me ugly cry. i kept begging him to let me take the test tho so he sighed and said “im ur dad right now not ur teacher please don’t take the test just light some incense and listen to some reggae or something and chill”

- i used pig’s blood in my chem internal assessment and when i asked him where i could store it overnight he shrugged and was like “i guess put it in the fridge in the teacher’s lounge and i’ll just tell people not to drink your blood”

- he knows our class so well it’s a little scary. predicts exactly what’s going to happen in certain circumstances with like 100% accuracy

- this one girl in my class didn’t finish her homework but we submit in through pictures on google classroom so she sent in a picture of her dog and he accepted it and gave it 10/10

5

Ewan McGregor on getting older: 

“I don’t feel it – you never do. I still want to kick around on BMX bikes! I have to ask my wife: ‘Do I look like a cock, or is this all right, the way I’m dressed?’ Because you don’t want to be ‘that guy’, but you also don’t want to listen to that voice either. I want to wear skinny jeans when I’m in my 70s. Why not? Who cares?

Happy 46th Birthday, Ewan!