The dreams started again last night- they seem to flair up at random. The meds sent over do nothing- just make me tired and I can’t sleep. When I sleep he’s there. I’m not safe, even in dreams. I’m not safe. Delia’s stopped calling thank god. If I hear one more time that what happened was all just stress induced I’ll lose my mind too. It was real. I don’t care if she’s convinced Dad it was all some post-traumatic stress shit caused by work/school/ the roof falling in- I DON’T CARE what she says. It was real.. HE was real .and I’m not safe. Even now I’m out of that house I can’t settle. I feel eyes on me everywhere. I miss Barbara and Adam so much. Why didn’t they leave without saying goodbye? They could clear this up- get me help somehow. I can’t do this alone.
The dreams are getting worse. I start to drift off, but there’s always a weight on my chest, and I can’t breath. And then I see it’s that snake thing all over again, all curled around me and I can’t move or call for help. I’m alone and he’s killing me. Always laughing. Smiling and I’m so scared. I wake up so cold every time. Sometime..