askapus

2

Three facts I find most interesting… That’s a tough one. Hm.

I assume you’re asking for things that aren't related to being a platypus. I could certainly give you three interesting platypus facts. You could find those on Google, though. 

Well… Being an O.W.C.A. agent, I have a bit of an extended lifespan. I guess that’s interesting. Most platypodes don’t live very long - ten years, on average - but I’ve got a few decades on me. 

Oh, I know a lot of languages. THAT’S neat. I can’t… speak them, of course, but I can understand them. Really comes in handy. And… hm… I’ve got some pretty impressive technical know-how after so long spent with the boys and Heinz. 

There, three things. Oh, before I forget, thank you for the question. I really thought the first one would be about underwear or something.

2

I met my mother recently.

According to her file, she was one of the best agents the O.W.C.A. has ever had. She was a Wild operative and she handled multiple corporations and solo evildoers in her day. Do you want to know where she is right now?

She’s in the Retirement Wing, Cell 5P. A man-made habitat for your average platypus. No TV. No computer. No phone. 24/7 surveillance on everything she does. 

All because she hoped for more. Because she fought for her freedom.

We’re not anything more than what our files say. Species, breed, sex, age, and training level. And that’s all we can ever hope for. We’re animals in the most derogatory possible use of the word. 

Now then, who wants to ask about… I don’t know, my favorite color?