After the game, Dave asks Roxy to void him up some apple juice. 

“Just don’t think about pee while you do it,” John adds.

Roxy freezes; how do you not think about piss after someone says something like that. She thinks her hardest about apple juice, fearful that other thoughts will slip in. A bottle appears, full of yellow liquid. 

Roxy and Dave stare at it with trepidation. 

“Goddamn it John,” Dave says

strilondes & co stupid s’mores post

Karkat: his marshmallow is engulfed in flames. dave keeps telling him to take it out. this only makes him more stubborn. shut up I’m doing this my own way. he has created charcoal. it is disgusting. he’ll eat it anyway because dave will make fun of him if he doesnt. dave makes fun of him for eating it. he cannot win

Dave: he keeps making his marshmallow touch other marshmallows. except karkat’s because it is on fire. everyone regards this with benign amusement except john who keeps telling him to knock it off you damn doofus you are going to knock them off into the fire. challenge accepted. they are passive aggressively trying to knock each other’s marshmallows into the fire. in an inexplicable turn of events roxy wins. they didn’t even realize she was trying. dave blames john. john blames dave. roxy feels bad and makes them both perfect s’mores after. they accept this, begrudgingly. roxy sits between them. she puts her arms around the both of them. leans forward and innocently asks if there are any other challengers. no one accepts

Dirk: perfectly roasts his marshmallow. burns his hands pulling it off the stick. pretends that this didnt happen. is annoyed by how it is impossible to eat a smore without getting marshmallow shit all over his face. no one look at me. fuck, everyone is looking. rose is raising her eyebrows at him. jake is grinning at him. just eat it. come on

Jake: bets karkat he can eat more of them than he can. they lose track of who is winning somewhere around number nine. karkat accuses him of cheating b/c hes breaking off the graham cracker pieces outside the lines so his are smaller. jake calls him a whiny soft gut wiggler. karkat mashes a half melted marshmallow into jakes hair. they eat six more each and then bond over a mutual inability to endure even a whiff of the scent of marshmallow or chocolate without gagging for months thereafter

Rose: likes her marshmallows slightly burnt. makes fun of dave for barely toasting his. dave scoffs at her. you just like ur marshmallows the way you like your soul, black and shriveled. rose grins. why thank u dave. youre so sweet. she makes aggressive eye contact as she consumes half the smore in one bite. graham cracker and marshmallow go everywhere. god damn smores and their notorious structural instability. dave and roxy snort when they laugh. rose wipes her face with a paper napkin, balls it up and throws it at them. at least my marshmallows are warm inside. yours are cold & nasty and that’s the facts

Kanaya: doesnt super get it b/c lets face it sweets are kind of ???? when you’re a vampire who constantly craves the coppery taste of questionable liquid sustenance. she eats four anyway because it seems to be The Thing. It’s actually not the worst thing in the world. she slowly collects all the dark chocolate. these are mine. jane asks where tf the dark chocolate bars all went. kanaya looks up, a half melted marshmallow speared on her fangs, sucking the melty fluff out of the middle. it was definitely not me, she says, around a mouthful. uh. yes of course not, jane agrees. she sits back down. her eyes are v. wide. no one questions it again. kanaya privately delights at her good fortune. her story is rock solid and no one suspects her at all and now all these delicious bitter bars are hers and also half rose’s because she’s pretty sure that’s how human marriage works ?? ? ..?

Roxy: puts 7 marshmallows on a stick and creates a toasted gradient. eats the marshmallows directly off the stick. dirk informs her the noises shes making as she does this are borderline obscene. please stop. roxy makes aggressive eye contact as she eats the next one in line like a fuckin marshmallow corncob. dirk throws a marshmallow bag at her. roxy asks him if the marshmallow stick hes using has any relation to the one lodged up his ass. jake chokes on his 14th smore. jane apologizes on their behalf to everyone else present. roxy queues another 7 marshmallows, smirking

Callie: collects one (1) smore from everyone b/c she wants to try out everyones styles. she compliments them all effusively but secretly likes jane’s the best. she cant believe shes finally found this, a sweet that she can also roast mercilessly over an open flame. truly these are gods gift to cherubs. she eats them steadily with no sign of stopping. ppl begin to notice. they become concerned. they are running out of marshmallows. callie. callie we had like ten times as many bags as any reasonable group of people could ever hope to go through in one sitting. what is happening. callie waves them off. she’s still crunching away. she is Content

Annoying Interruptions [Eggsy Unwin Imagine - Request].

A/N: Hello lovelies, here’s a Eggsy Unwin imagine, based off this anon: 

  • Eggsy imagine, please? You both are sexually frustrated because Merlin and Harry is always interrupting.  

Pairing: Eggsy x Reader.

Part Two. 

Warnings: Uh, there’s nothing explicit, but there is some content that is sexual in nature, nothing detailed. If that’s not your thing, please don’t read and to be sure, please, please, only read if you’re an adult

Rating: M, just to make sure, because I’m paranoid! 

Disclaimer: Nope, I don’t own anyone. All the characters go to their respective owners/creators. 

P.S.:Thank you for requesting and I hope this is all right! :) I’ve checked this over for mistakes and whatnot, but if any have managed to slip through, please forgive me.

Living the life of a spy was a tough business. Dealing with terrorists and plots to destroy the world, was something you had to deal with on many of your missions. You weren’t complaining, but when you actually found some spare time to relax, you’d like to be able to do that freely. If you weren’t on a mission, then you were training, or helping new recruits train and if not doing any of those things, you were busy filing through paperwork and briefing for upcoming missions, or debriefing for past ones. It constantly felt like you were doing something, so when you got back to your room after an exhausting day, you collapsed on your bed, just wanting to fall asleep.

Your boyfriend, Eggsy Unwin, had other ideas. He waltzed into your room unannounced, a breezy, carefree smile on his bright face, his light green-blue eyes sparkling in the evening light.

Keep reading


Went so well with each other. 🖤

You looked at yourself in the mirror, taken aback by how you’d finally managed to get here. Marrying your best friend was all you’d ever wanted, and Eggsy made everything so easy, there weren’t any nerves, this was what you both wanted and you were getting impatient now.
“How long?” You ask Roxy, your bridesmaid.
“Just 10 more minutes!” She smiles excitedly, “I’m going to check on Eggsy, make sure he’s not leaving everything to the last minute.”
“Good idea! Thank you, Rox. You’re the best,” you say as she slips out of the room. You turn back to the mirror and sigh happily, then start pacing the room a little, trying to make time go faster. There’s a knock at your door and you call out to ask who it is, but there’s no answer, so you open it carefully, aware that this place is full of Kingsman agents, including yourself, and you never know who might have found out about the wedding today. No one’s there, but as you look down you spot a bunch of flowers, so pick them up and take them inside. You place them on the table and smile, then lean in to take a sniff of the floral scent. That’s when you see it, a second too late, a small device inside one of the flowers that goes off as you lean into them, emitting a gas that knocks you out cold.

“Where is she? Rox, where the fuck is she?! This ain’t a fuckin’ joke!” Eggsy shouts, barging past Roxy into the room you’d just been in.
“I… I don’t know Eggs, she was here 5 minutes ago, honest!” She says, eyes going wide and looking for anything that could indicate what happened to you.
“Get Merlin!” Eggsy shouts, rooting through your bag, looking for your phone and purse. Roxy runs out of the room to get Merlin and they rush back to your room.
“What’s the situation?” Merlin asks calmly.
“She’s gone! She’s fuckin’ gone Merlin!” Eggsy shouts through tears.
“Anything here that can help us?” He asks.
“Her phone’s gone, money’s still here…”
“They weren’t here before,” Roxy interrupts, looking at the flowers. Eggsy is first across the room and spots the small device hidden in the flowers.
“She’s been taken,” he says, showing Merlin what he found.
“I’ll be right back,” Merlin says, going off to get his laptop.
“She’s never been in the field, I thought she was safe behind her computer. Now on our wedding day she’s been taken, I can’t believe it,” Eggsy says sadly, running his hands through his hair in annoyance.
“We’ll get her back,” Roxy comforts, “I promise.” Suddenly, Eggsy’s phone rings and he scrambles in his pocket to get it.
“It’s (Y/N)!” He says, fumbling to answer it, “(Y/N), where are you? Are you okay?”
“Gary, I’m sorry, I… I can’t… can’t go through with this,” you say between sobs.
“I love you, we can make this work,” Eggsy replies, putting you on loud speaker for Roxy to hear.
“We can’t… Gary, I love you too, but… I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Gary,” you cry, then the phone goes dead.
“It’s fuckin’ him,” Eggsy seethes, realising it’s your ex boyfriend, who was mentally and physically abusive towards you. For so many nights Eggsy held you as you cried from your nightmares of him, only recently settling down and able to sleep through the night without one.
“How do you know?” Roxy asks.
“She called me Gary. When does anyone call me Gary?”
“Good point. Lets find Merlin,” she replies, heading out of the door. Merlin’s set up in the reception room, having told everyone waiting that normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
“Merlin, it’s him,” Eggsy says, holding his phone up, “she rang and called me Gary. Remember when I told you about him? The fuckin’ piece of shit. Have you got the phone trace?”
“Oh I remember, Eggs. Nasty man. Right, I’ve got it, she’s in a barn the next farm over as far as I can see,” he explains. Eggsy and Roxy look at each, nod, and grab their weapons, heading outside and across the fields to the farm next to the Manor House estate you’d chosen for your wedding. As they approach the barn, the sounds of an engine running emanate from it. Roxy takes the back, Eggsy takes the front entrance, both bursting through the doors at the same time. Eggsy looks inside the car that’s running to find you knocked out in the front seat, blood dripping from your head, hands tied in front of you. He immediately climbs in beside you, not checking his surroundings, then tilts your head up to look at him.
“(Y/N), babe, please open your eyes, baby, please. We’ve gotta get married. You ain’t getting out of it this easy,” he says, trying to make a joke as tears escape his eyes at the sight of you. Slowly, your eyes open, just enough to see your ex behind Eggsy, pointing what you assume to be a gun at his head, although you can’t be sure through your blurry vision. You reach your hands up to Eggsy’s jacket, knowing where he kept a spare gun, reaching slowly inside to get it, then mouthing ‘duck’ to him. He does as you say and dives down, head hitting your lap as you fire the gun above him. Eggsy immediately gets up after your arms slump down and your head rolls back as you faint. He looks down on the ground outside of the car and sees the body, then turns his attention back to you, opening the door on your side and running round to get you out and untie you.
“Rox! I’ve got her!” Eggsy shouts, Roxy running to your side to help. Merlin appears with your in-house medical team and they see to your injuries as Eggsy and Roxy stand next to Merlin.
“Well done guys,” he says, a small smile appearing on his face.
“It was her, it was all her,” Eggsy says, his eyes not leaving your body as the team check you over. Merlin and Roxy deal with the body and clean up as Eggsy stays rooted to the spot, then he sees you being sat up and talking to the paramedics. They leave soon after, you sat on the floor in your now dirty wedding dress, cuts to your face and rope burns to your wrists, drinking a bottle of water.
“So, fancy getting married?” Eggsy says as he slides over to you on his knees, wrapping his arms around you and bringing your body into his protectively.
“Yes please,” you chuckle. He helps you up and you all head back to the venue, Roxy helps you apply layers of make up to hide the cuts on your face and ties cute ribbon bows around your wrists to cover up the rope marks, then the ceremony finally begins.
“Fuck,” Eggsy exhales as he sees you coming up the aisle towards him.
“Keep your language in check, Eggsy, her parents are right there,” Merlin advises, nodding towards your parents sitting in the front row. Eggsy nods and smiles at Merlin as you reach them, Eggsy taking your hand when you stop next to him.
“You look amazing,” he whispers in your ear. Luckily Roxy found you a replacement dress, you had no idea how but she was a life saver.
“So do you,” you whisper back. You say your vows and finally it’s the moment you’d both been waiting for.
“And now you may kiss the bride.”
Eggsy looks at you, that cheeky smile you’d fell in love with years ago plastered across his face as he finally got to show everyone in the room how much loved you. He leans you back, then goes in for the kiss as you squeal and throw your arms around his neck, trying not to lose your balance. He helps you up afterwards and you finally walk back down the aisle as husband and wife.
“You okay?” He asks, concerned, as you step out of the room and into the quiet corridor.
“I’m fantastic,” you smile, his fingers interlinked with yours.
“I mean, really, are you okay babe? Don’t forget I know what’s hiding under that make up, are you feeling alright?”
“I’m in pain, but I’m with you, so I couldn’t care less,” you say, looking up at his worried face. He looks down at your hands and peeks underneath the ribbon neatly tied on your wrist, kissing the mark underneath it and covering it back up again.
“I’ll never let anything happen to you ever again,” he sighs, placing a hand softly on your cheek and bringing you towards him, kissing you passionately. You lean back after a while as you feel wetness on your cheek and you see a small tear falling down his face.
“Hey, stop that. Look at me, I’m fine!” You reassure him, resting your forehead on his and wiping the tears away.
“What did he do to you, (Y/N)?”
“Now is not the time for this Eggsy. Please, lets just enjoy the rest of our wedding day and be around the friends and family we love,” you smile sadly, knowing this would play on his mind.
“Will you tell me?”
“I will, darling, just not today,” you whisper, kissing him and throwing both your arms around his neck to pull him down to you. He grabs your waist tightly and even when you lean back, doesn’t let go of you until you unhook his hands from behind you and interlink your fingers again to walk into the reception room.

Hiveswap Ask Game
  • Joey: are you good at solving puzzles?
  • Jude: do you believe in aliens? The supernatural? Cryptids?
  • Xefros: are you a naturally nervous person?
  • Dammek: describe your style/aesthetic!
  • Trizza: post a selfie!
  • Cridea: what is your favorite meme(s)?
  • Pa: what is your family like?
  • A. Claire: are you artistic?
  • Roxy The Babysitter: how many siblings do you have?
  • Byers: have you ever been betrayed before?
  • Frohike: what is your most prized possession?
  • Langly: has somebody let you down recently?
  • Zoosmell: what's your favorite food?
  • Cornibuster: what was one of your worst injuries?
  • Tesseract: how many pets do you have? If any, what are their names?
  • D Cell Batteries: what has been some of/the hardest obstacles you've overcome (mentally, physically, spiritually, etc)
  • Clarissa Explains It All: what are your favorite 90's TV shows/cartoons?
  • Rustblood: have you ever been bullied/mistreated/discriminated against?
  • Half-Harley Manor: describe your childhood bedroom!
  • Prongle: Favorite social media site?
  • Hive: do you like to keep your bedroom messy or tidy?
  • Portal: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
  • Snakes: what's your favorite cryptid/monster/mythical creature?
  • Cherubs: do you think Lord English is back on his old shit in this fucking game?
  • Outglut: where would you like to live someday?
  • Heirloom: do you have a special family heirloom?
BTS Reaction to Their Girlfriend’s Touchy Habit

(A/N): To be honest, if I was in a relationship, I’d probably do this all the time x’D. Especially if it was them. Touching Jiminnies abs though. 🌚 Thank you so much for requesting, anon! <33

Kim Seokjin-

He had been standing in the dorms, talking to Jungkook when he felt small hands travel up the hem of his shirt and run up his back. I think Jin would take this habit of yours as just another way you show him you love him, which is exactly what it was. He wouldn’t mind as much as some of the other members, depending on where you two were. He didn’t mind it most places, unless the two of you were in public. If you two were in public he’d probably hold your hands when you went to habitually slid them under his shirt. 

*Kissed the knuckles of your hands softly* “ Not right now, jagiya. There are a lot of other people around~. “

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Min Yoongi-

I really don’t see this boy being a big fan of your habit. I don’t think he’d really understand why you had to put your hands under his shirt or sleeve to touch him. What was wrong with just touching him directly? Though, I feel like if he really loves you, he’d put up with it. He’d sigh or give you a face every time he’d feel your cold touch against his milky skin, but he’d do nothing about it and be quick to brush it off and go back to what ever he was doing at the current time.

*Looks at you, giving you a weird face* “ I don’t understand you, babe. “

Originally posted by jeonbase

Jung Hoseok- 

Hobi would love it. It would make him feel so warm and loved. Not to mention the fact that he would find it absolutely adorable. When he felt you hands slide against his skin directly he’d turn to you and grin, brightly. “ You’re so cute, angel!~ “ he’d chirp often, following it with a sweet, caring peck on the lips. It’d be like your way of hugging or holding hands in public, something special you did to him to show your love and he adored it.

*You slid your hand under his sleeve when he was holding you, gently rubbing the skin. * “ Why are you so cute, (y/n)?!~ “ *He would kiss your cheek*

Originally posted by nycbtslover

Kim Namjoon-

If I were you, I’d find away to retain your habit when it came to this boy. When ever your hands would slick up under his shirt, he would immediately take it as a sexual suggestion. Who could blame him? His adorable baby was touching his skin directly in such a loving way. If you were at home or alone, this would probably end up in a heated make out session and sex. But, if you were in public, he would probably clear his throat in some way of warning you what you were doing to him.

*You two had been cuddling all day, watching movies and eating snacks. That was until your hand ran up his stomach, underneath his baggy sweater. He’d look at you and grin.* “ Do you really want to start this right now, baby girl? “

Originally posted by namjoonsgurl

Park Jimin-

Shy shy shy. Every time you push you hand against his skin, underneath his clothing would leave this cutie a blushing mess. When you first did it, he might pull away and look at you, in shock, but as he realized it was more of a habit for you, I think he would like it. He would become embarrassed, but would smile, feeling your love in the simple gesture. 

*You hug him from behind, running your hands up over his toned stomach. He would blush and giggle a little.* “ Ah, you scared me jagi. “

Originally posted by yoonmin

Kim Taehyung-

This little squish would LOVE it. I feel like he’d have a very similar habit. His would be a little less often and bold since he wouldn’t want people to see your skin or think he was pervert, but I feel like he’d be the type to run his hand up your shirt and rub your back when the two of you are cuddling, or to lift your shirt up a little and wrap his arms around the exposed skin. Touching you and your skin, I feel, would be a relaxing thing to him, a promise to stay each other’s forever.

*You were talking to a friend you hadn’t seen in a while when you felt your shirt lift up a little and warm arms wrap around your waist, overlapping the skin. You’d stop talking and look up at him.* “ Don’t mind me, baby. Just keep talking. “ *He nuzzled into your hair as you continued the conversation.*

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Jeon Jungshook Jungkook-

I think that this not so innocent bun would be another person to not really like your habit. I feel that if you tried to put your hand up his shirt he would jump and look at you in shock. “ What are you doing jagiya?” he’d ask, blinking. He might let you put your hand up his sleeve, but I feel like that still make him a little bit uncomfortable.

*You slid you hand up his shirt and he stops talking mid-sentence to stare at you in shock* ‘ I don’t know Hyung I- “ *his eyes snap to you* 

Originally posted by askmeifimadalek

Want a Reaction of Your Own?
Request in My Ask Box. ;)

-Admin Roxy

Eggsy Unwin Imagine - "Not Your Moneypenny"

Title: Not Your Moneypenny (as in, like, ‘not your babe’. Ha!)

Pairing: Eggsy x Reader (but not Reader x Eggsy bc he’s dumb)

Summary: Eggsy and Roxy are called into Merlin’s office, which they’ve never been to. In front of his office, his attractive secretary (Y/N) (Y/L/N), was there to sign them into Merlin’s office. After sarcastic insults from Merlin, Eggsy learns that you are actually Merlin’s assistant, and a lot more experienced than Eggsy. 

Original Request:

A/N: Tell me if you want a part 2^^


“Have you ever been called to Merlin’s office?” Roxy asked, her voice laced with worry. Eggsy stole a quick glance at her from the corner of his glasses to see her still fidgeting with the edges of her suit.

“I didn’t even know he had an office.” Eggsy confessed, walking through the walls of the Kingsman headquarters, repeating the directions Merlin gave him in his head.

“Do you think we’re in trouble?” Roxy’s fidgeting was becoming more and more manic by the second.

“Stop that!” Eggsy hissed, slapping away one of Roxy’s hand. She gave him a sheepish look. “And no, you’re not in trouble. I, on the other hand…”

“What did you do this time, Eggsy?” Roxy sighed, giving him a side eye.

“Nothing harmful, I promise!” he raised his hands in defense. She gave him another look. “I may or may not have let JB piss in one of the recruit initiates’ room.”

“Oh, my God,” Roxy tried to hold in her laughs. “You’re such an arse!” she slapped him playfully.

“Ow! Roxy, you’ll wrinkle my suit!” Eggsy giggled like a little girl as he tried to slap away Roxy’s hands.

Ehemm,” a woman cleared her throat behind a tall table at the end of the hallway. Without realizing it, Eggsy and Roxy had arrived at the door to Merlin’s office.

They shared a nervous look before advancing towards the table. Both of them held in a gasp once they saw that it was a pretty young woman staring expectantly at them. Eggsy wanted to gasp because of how beautiful you were, and Roxy because of the fact that there was another woman in this place. So this is where they had been hiding, she thought.

“I didn’t know Merlin had an attractive secretary. Say, how do you suppose I get one?” Eggsy raised an eyebrow slyly at you. Roxy had to resist the urge not to roll her eyes aggressively.

“Not with that weak attempt of a pick up line, that’s for sure.” you raised your eyebrow back at him without lifting your eyes from the computer you were typing things into.

Eggsy’s eyes widened and Roxy snorted in an attempt to cover her cackles.

“Ouch,” Eggsy faked a wince, not ready to back down. “Come on now, don’t be like that.” he pouted, his green eyes already working it’s magic through a puppy dog stare.

“Is Merlin expecting you?” you asked in a bored, flat voice, still not lifting your eyes from the screen as you looked through Merlin’s schedule. Truth be told, you knew who he was; Merlin already briefed you earlier that morning. He even warned about his womanizing, over confident, coy attitude that he might bring up the second he sees your face. You were fully prepared for this situation.

“Yes, he is. It’s probably under—uhh,Lancelot, and Galahad.” Roxy stepped in, pushing away Eggsy away slightly. “And I do apologize for my colleague’s behavior.”

Eggsy gave Roxy a childish glare, but what he wasn’t prepared for was the way you looked up from under your lashes at Roxy, a small smile on your lips. You were breathtaking, that’s for sure; pretty hair that sat in a neat braid, soft lips, long lashes, sharp eyes, and tinted cheeks. You looked like the kind of woman that everyone would chase to hook up with, but you couldn’t because you were too busy kicking ass.

“At least one of you lives by ‘Manners Makketh Man’, or in this case, woman.” you smirked at the girl, still choosing to ignore the guy.

Eggsy looked bewildered. This was probably the first time a girl chose someone else over him, and another girl at that. “Wha-“

“Merlin will see you now.” you cut him off with the sound of your keyboard clicking as you pressed enter on Merlin’s schedule, looking him deadly in the eye.

At first, the guy’s eyes became huge in shock, but slowly the smirk you heard in his voice returned to his face. You had to admit, he was hot; dark blueish-green eyes, cheekbones more structured than your life, jawline that could cut you, dirty blonde hair groomed neatly to the side. But anything that happened at Kingsman was strictly business, you’ve told yourself that since day one.

Instantly, Merlin’s door opened and the three of you could hear his heavily accented voice.

“Come in.”

“There you go,” you gestured to the door, standing from your chair. “I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N), by the way.” you held out your hand to the girl.

She gave you a cheeky smile as she took your hand. “Rox-“

“Lancelot.” you gave her a small wink.

“Yeah,” she suppressed a giggle from her mistake.

The guy looked completely frustrated as he tried to move ‘Rox’ away as gently as possible, hand already outstretched for you to take. “And I’m-“  

“Galahad.” you nodded, leaving his hand hanging. “I’m not that much of a bimbo secretary.”

‘Rox’s eyes widened as she let out a laugh, dragging a shocked ‘Galahad’ into Merlin’s office by the collar of his shirt, ignoring his protests.

“Yes, come in. By the time you reach me, ten people will already be dead.” Merlin rolled his eyes from his chair in the edge of the room, facing all of the different screens he had. His office was just as Roxy and Eggsy suspected; modern, technology filled, clean cut, and not a single pen out of place.

“We were just having a chat with Miss Moneypenny outside,” Eggsy huffed, straightening his collar that Roxy messed up.

“As in the secretary from James Bond?” Merlin raised an eyebrow, turning his chair to face the two agents.

“Yes?” Eggsy said, unsure.

“You bloody idiot.” Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “(Y/N)’s not my secretary, she’s my assistant. My secretary is out for the day.”

“What difference does it make?” Eggsy suppressed the need to roll his eyes.

“You’re more daft than I thought, Galahad.” Merlin gave him a look. “She’s my assistant; as in, she’s properly trained and has done a lot more field agent work than you have. She’s your senior. She could’ve killed you before you even tried to wink at her, but she chose not to. Don’t exactly know why, seeing as with the way you talked to her, I would have had your head already.”

“Nice.” Roxy gave him a taunting look. Eggsy gulped nervously.

“Right then,” Merlin rose from his chair. “Your next mission will be breaking and entering into one of the world’s tightest museums. A man named Quincy Norman-“

“That’s a shit name.” Eggsy interrupted Merlin with a whisper, causing Roxy to punch his shoulder. Merlin gave him a death glare, causing Eggsy to give a sheepish smile in return. “Sorry, continue,”

“Last Wednesday, Quincy Norman tried to break in and steal one of the world’s most prized sculptures. The owner of the museum, Jack Gallagher, is incredibly worried and so yesterday morning,” Merlin clicked a few keys on the keyboard, causing multiple images to appear. “He installed a bunch of new security alarms, not to mention a double in the amount of security guards. We suspect that Norman will strike again during tomorrow’s event; a Gala held by the owner’s daughter, Rose Gallagher. Important young people from all over the world are invited. Your job is to go undercover as Ella, Ashton, and Tricia Morgan; the three teenage children of Andrew Morgan, the owner of a successful oil company.”

“Oh, I am so excited to be with a bunch of prissy rich teenagers.” Roxy’s lip tightened sarcastically.

You were a prissy rich teenager two years ago,” Eggsy gave her a look. “Wait,” he turned to Merlin. “You said three names?”

“Yes, (Y/N)—” Merlin eyed Eggsy. “—will be joining you. If I may say, she’s probably as good as I am with hacking skills. You’ll need her to break into their security system. The rest, you two may discuss with her for strategies.”

“Oh, shit.” Eggsy muttered under his breath. Roxy smirked at him.

“You are dismissed.” Merlin nodded as if to conclude their conversation. Eggsy and Roxy nodded back, turning to leave Merlin’s office. “Oh, and Eggsy?”

“Yes?” Eggsy turned back around.

“May I suggest apologizing to (Y/N) before you go on this mission?” Merlin taunted.

“Screw you, Merlin.” Eggsy huffed childishly, stomping out of his office with a giggling Roxy trailing behind him.

Having my baby

Pairing: Eggsy x reader

request: Please do one with eggsy and y/n having a kingsman baby?! 

word count: 567

warnings: swearing??

Yourself and Eggsy were yet to get married, so when two lines appeared on the stick in your hands you were kinda happy but very freaked out. Eggsy would be a great father, you already knew that from how he looked after his sister but it wasn’t clear that Eggsy wanted a child, well not yet anyway.

“What does it say?” Roxy said, leaning on the bathroom door frame. You turned around and bit your lip.

“Positive” you sighed, “It’s positive. I’m pregnant” the words felt so strange rolling off your tongue, you honestly didn’t think you would be pregnant at this age.

“Oh, y/n. A-are you happy, shocked or..?” Roxy asked you as you leant against the sink.

“I’m…I’m not sure” you said, “I’m kinda happy but i’m also lowkey freaking out??”

“That’s normal” Roxy said with a small smile, “I’m sure Eggsy will be thrilled, honestly”

“You think?” you asked her, looking up from the stick in your hands to her. She gave you a look of ‘y/n, when have i ever been wrong?’ causing you to laugh a little. “Thanks, rox” you said.

-  Time skip  -

Later on that evening you were laying on your sofa, watching TV whilst Eggsy had a shower after a long mission.

“y/n babe?” Eggsy yelled.

“Yeah?” you yelled back.

“Come up here for sec” Eggsy replied, you huffed and got on the sofa. As you made your way upstairs to the bathroom, you realised that you had accidentally left the pregnancy test in the sink which made your race to Eggsy. Eggsy stood in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. In his hand was the stick.

“Shit…Eggsy urm, I-”

“You’re pregnant?” Eggsy asked, you bit your lip and nodded. “When were you plannin’ on telling me?” you shrugged.

“I-..urm, when the time was right?? I don’t know, I guess I was kinda freaked and didn’t know what to do. Roxy said that you’d be okay with having a baby but then i was thinking we’re too young?? And like, we are nowhere near getting engaged and I-” Eggsy cut of your rambling with a laugh. You looked at him to see he had a cheeky smile on his face.

“y/n, you idiot, of course i’m happy about havin’ a baby!” Eggsy said, “I’m actually so fucking happy right now!” You broke into a smile, despite the tears that had somehow made their way down your face. “Why are you crying?” he laughed.

“I dont know!” you said as Eggsy engulfed you in a big hug, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

After a few seconds, Eggsy pulled back and kept his arm around your shoulder whilst he pressed a loving kiss to your lips. The kiss lasted longer than expected as you found yourself pulling apart for air. Eggsy leant his forehead against yours, smiling at you.

“I fuckin’ love you, y/n” Eggsy said causing you to smile.

“I love you, too” you said, pecking Eggsy’s lips.

“y/n, why are you still fuckin’ crying?” Eggsy laughed as he pulled away from you.

“I don’t know” you laughed. Eggsy quickly pecked your lips and walked into the bathroom shutting the door to have a shower; you did a little dance of happiness and squealed, before wiping the tears of happiness away.


TW: swearing, mentions of past sexual encounter 

‘I fucked’ Eggsy said falling on the chair in front of Roxy and Merlin. 

What did you do this time?’ Roxy asked wiping her glasses. She brought them up and examined closely before returning to her task. 

It’s about the princess’ Eggsy groaned ‘I fucked’ 

‘Oh I’ve seen’ Merlin sighed.

What?’ Eggsy sat up straight.

The glasses’ Merlin didn’t even look at him too occupied with the computer in front of him ‘They work the certain way. Thank God I could disconnect’ 

Eggsy opened his mouth trying to say something but when he heard Roxy’s giggle he just cleared his throat and loosened his tie. The blush that at first appeared on his cheeks went down his neck. ‘It’s not what I mean. It’s about Y/N’ 

‘I hope you took off your glasses then. We don’t need to scar our Merlin anymore’ Roxy smiled putting her own spectacles on her nose and winking when she caught her friends gaze. 

For fucks sake that’s not what it is about!’ Eggsy tried again. ‘Y/N found out about my….’ he moved his hand around looking for a word. ‘political meeting’ 

Roxy scoffed. ‘I’m sure you were deep in the topic’ she smirked tapping her fingers on the table.‘From all sides’ 

With well prepared oral presentation’ Merlin added moving to another screen to cheek all the data. 

Okay hahaha’ Eggsy stood up taking his glasses off ‘Very fuckin funny. I’m out so you two can be thirsty together’ he turned around and started moving towards metal door at the end of the room.

Oh calm down!’ Roxy laughed. ‘What’s wrong?’ 

Eggsy’s step faltered and he slowly leaned against the nearest wall. ‘Y/N found out about it’ 

‘So what? You two aren’t a thing’ Roxy said slowly raising an eyebrow ‘And as I recall you didn’t want to be’ she bit her lip waiting for her friend’s answer. 

Young agent turned around to face her, his shoulder’s dropping. ‘Yeah…it was bullshit wasn’t it?’ 

‘I know’ Roxy gave him a half-smile. ‘It wasn’t that hard to notice’ 

Eggsy looked down at his shoes smiling a little bit. Oh it wan’t hard to notice at all. Everyone was pretty aware about the feelings that might have blossomed between you too. And if it wasn’t enough Eggsy being constantly a bad flirt or tong-tied when you were near or a silly smile crossing his features at every mention of your name didn’t help to hide his crush on you very well. The man himself was pretty much aware of it. 

He played a little bit with his shoes until Merlin asked him to continue. 

Unwin took a deep breath before straightening his posture. ‘And she thinks that it is a thing now. That me and the princess are a thing’ he put his back against the wall. ‘Especially now that Tilde invited me to her country’  

‘And you didn’t want it to go this far’ Roxy chimed in.

I didn’t want it to go anywhere at all….I just…when we beat up Valentine I was this hero and I was pretty amazing and truly remarkable….I mean like really! Anyway…’ he stopped upon seeing his friends’ faces ‘I was high on adrenaline and she was pretty and a freaking princess. I was just dumb…’

‘That’s what happens when you don’t think with your brain but with your little friend over there’ Roxy nodded putting her legs on the table in front of her. ‘Let me guess - Y/N decided to put a stop on your little flirting and wished you all the best with the princess’

‘Yeah pretty much’ Eggsy sighed ‘Tilde called when I was talking with Y/N so she heard how much her parents want to meet me and stuff’

‘Oh dear’ Merlin leaned in his chair. ‘Lost situation’

‘Thanks Merlin’ the agent glared at the older man ‘Is there a way to fix it?’ 

‘Maybe just talk with her? Why people don’t talk?!’ Roxy raised her hands up. ‘It’s not like it’s hard’ 

‘And what am I gonna say hmm?’ Eggsy laughed humorlessly ‘Oh hi Y/N I know that we’ve had this thing not really a thing but something going on and then you found out I slept with someone else and I am probably in relationship with her but hey! Let’s forget that’s ever happened and come back to our flirting for the next years. Good plan? Yeah thanks’ he huffed out the air. 

So maybe it’s a time to finally do something with this “something” you’ve got’ Merlin said tapping with his fingers on his computer desk. 

No…I don’t think…Y/N doesn’t….’ Eggsy started.

Damn it!’ Roxy hit her palms on the table’You’re always a smart-ass but the moment you need to do something to be with a woman you love you turn into a coward!’

‘Woah! WOAH!’ Eggsy shouted backing away from Lancelot. ‘I’m not in love with Y/N!’

Both Merlin and Roxy groaned. 

For fuck’s sake’ Merlin whispered taking off his classes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Are you even serious?!’ Roxy brushed her hair with her fingers. ‘Okay…I’m not getting into this just stop this bullshit and we can move on’ 

‘Denial will not help your situation Galahad’ the other man in the room added. 

I….’ Eggsy tried to say something.

Shut up. Stop lying to us and yourself’ Roxy interrupted quickly ‘You wooed a princess the moment she laid her eyes on you. A princess! What makes Y/N different?’ 

Eggsy took a deep breath ‘It’s Y/N’ 

‘Wow…’ Roxy rolled her eyes.

No! It’s just Y/N. It’s that simple. She’s just her…. And she’s good and amazing and smart and kind. She likes those stupid spy novels and leaves them for me to read so later we can laugh at them together. She hums songs from old musicals when she sees me after I told her how much I like them. She always fixes my tie before missions and wipes my glasses on her shirts. She always waits until I come back from wherever the hell you guys sent me and it’s so…great to have someone who cares that much. It’s so effortless to be with her. You don’t have to talk nor do anything really. Even JB doesn’t want to leave her side’ he chuckled. 

Eggsy looked at his friends scratching the back of his head. ‘That’s why it’s different’ 

Roxy smiled at him nodding. ‘Not in love my ass’ 

Eggsy gently rolled her eyes turing sideways to hide a small blush that dusted his cheeks. 

Wanna know a secret?’ Roxy added. Unwin looked at her with raised eyebrow. 

Y/N loves you too’ the girl laughed ‘Don’t blew it over some princess. As you said yourself - it’s Y/N’ 

Roxy’s laughter echoed on the corridor when the doors leading to the room they were in opened and Eggsy left in hurry. 

gif 1 gif 2