ask-ma-chao

anonymous asked:

Where in the name of deus ex machina did that T-Rex come from?

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[OoC; FFFFFFF– OKAY, LADIES. Who quoted ‘Angry Beavers’ at me I love you let me birth you some e-babies forever. <3 If you don’t know what 'Angry Beavers’ is, abandon your current activity and hit up YouTube. Preferably anything with Muscular Beaver in it.]

anonymous asked:

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day in a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a pickle?

Is… is there a rough conversion chart for hens to monkeys and eggs to pickle seeds? And can half a hen lay an egg… and… does if matter if the leg is wooden and– Augh! This question, it is an attempt to break my mind, isn’t it!? You will not have the pleasure, math! For while I failed you, you were never as necessary in the fight for justice as creative writing and social studies!

(Where is Math Professor Ziming when you need him…)

fuckyeahlumeng-deactivated20120  asked:

Is it Walnut or is it Chestnut? And why isn't it white no matter what name it is?

Ah, horses, my favorite subject! There is a simple answer to that. You see, there is actually a Walnut and a Chestnut. They look very similar, but upon close inspection, Walnut has a very small dark speckle on it’s left hock and a better disposition. Perhaps next time I am tending to the horses I can point it out for you!

As for why it is not white, we own many horses. My favorite warhorse is indeed a brilliant white, but I make sure to treat every horse with great attention and care. I’ve noticed they get jealous if you favor just one for too long!

Does anyone know how to get blood out of silk?

Because somehow me undoing Lu Meng’s belt buckle became messy.

Also, I’d advise that no one uses the river for a while and that we increase the obviousness of the restroom signs! And mark them on every map! My helmet and long-term sense of smell may depend on it next Friday.

Quick question; Argh! Which one of you let Walnut drink!? Who has muddled my horse!? She’s leaning on me and rubbing my face.

anonymous asked:

Would you write a poem cmoparing your horse to that other Ma Chao's?

I would be happy to!


The Two Horses

Though they look like reflections

there is much that differs

One stands above

the other is a shadow

Walnut’s grace as she thunders

past her bulky sibling

Clear to all eyes

t'is the shadow who follows

Both are great, both are mighty

But the bespeckled one

is quick and brave

Her sibling is a brat

anonymous asked:

Is it better to have peanut brittle crumbs on your lips or flies in your eyes?

What– Flies in my eyes!? Having any insect there would be unpleasant, wouldn’t it!? Just thinking about it makes my eyes itch, and I cannot scratch them.

And what is peanut brittle? A food, I assume. Crumbs of even the most bitter food would be preferable.

What a strange question. [/rubs eyes furiously] Arghh!

thefabulousmachao-blog  asked:

Cloneqi! Why do you favor Walnut when Chestnut is so much better?

You and I have the same expertise in horses, so why is it you cannot see Walnut’s superiority? It’s is the name on our Voice Gallery menu! Walnuts are far tastier than chestnuts! It has the speckle on it’s hock! The speckle! It clearly sets it apart from it’s almost equal Chestnut!

That’s it, we shall settle this like true sons of the Ma clan. Horse race through the palace, now! The loser also admits the other is better dressed!

anonymous asked:

YOU FAIL AT JUSTICE.

How dare you! I am brimming with the very spirit of justice! I wield my spear in its name, I ride my horse into battle for its glory, and I every meal I eat is to guarantee I have the caloric intake necessary to uphold its honor on a daily basis! Prove to me that there is any other more devoted than I!