ask-for-advise

anonymous asked:

Hello. When would you consider a behaviour abusive?

Depends on what kind of abuse it is. If you think it’s physical abuse, it’s at any point when they are physically hurting you, at all. If they might not know that it hurts, and you tell them it hurts and they don’t stop, it’s abuse. It doesn’t matter if it was used as punishment, no punishment for anything should be physical pain.
If it’s emotional abuse, I’m not good at defining boundaries for it, if advise asking justemotionalabusethings, but yelling at you is def abuse, insults are abusive, there’s other stuff and if I’m given a specific situation I could prolly determine it.
Sexual is just… If they touch you in spots you don’t want to be touched, especially if they touch you in sexual regions (and it’s not for some other purpose, like one girl helps me out with my titties all the time fitting them into my binder, and I used to get naked in front of my safety family all the time cuz we didn’t have the time or the space for all of us to change alone before school) or if they make explicit comments about you that don’t serve a purpose (“your dick is showing and were at a black tie event” is fine but “u have a cute butt” is gross for anyone to say if they aren’t a sexual partner)
Other types I’d need some specific examples of.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm really really sorry to bother you, but I kinda need help and you are always having so nice conversations with your followers so I thought I could maybe ask you for some advise because there really isn't anyone I can talk to this about. It's okay if you don't answer it kinda helps writing it all down anyway. But the thing is I may be pregnant, because my period is hella late and I'm actually on birth control but I don't know if I missed it once or not and the time I had sex was pretty ...

… spontaneous. I talked to this boy for a while and then we met at a party and boom and now we’re kinda together but not really together and I may be pregnant and I have a feeling that he won’t take it well. I’m only 17 and we talked about abortion and so in school and I was someone who always said I couldn’t kill my child but now I know I would do it just because this is such a terrifying thing. I can’t really talk to my friends since they are really against abortion and I dont knowwhattodo..

Wow stupid tumblr. I wrote a big response and it is gone ☹️ Anyway let’s try this again in a few mins

OKAY FIRST have you taken a test? The dollar tree sells a test for $1. Go in and buy five of them and take them all. I promise PROMISE that not knowing something like this will eat you alive inside. You must take a test before you do anything else.

That being said, being on BC is pretty solid and has a low failure rate. Did you miss any days? Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Are you at a healthy weight? Do you feel sick? All of these things can affect your period and the best way to know what is happening is to take a test. You can message me if you want to chat. I promise I am nice. My main blog here is @shewantsmeshesgotme

And you can also talk to me on KaKaotalk my ID is sobadnoona ❤️❤️
sexuality.

You could almost say I’ve been studying Laurens behaviour from 2012-16 in correlation with her sexuality. I’m finding it extremely difficult to see anything ‘questionable’ about her sexuality, other than her interactions with Camila. When I watch these interviews with the girls, Lauren touching or looking at the girls is clearly platonic. There’s nothing that even hints at anything within her sexuality through her behaviour with the girls. But with Camila, there’s something different. Those longing stares weren’t platonic, how they touched and interacted with each other, wasn’t platonic. The only part of Laurens behaviour that showed us she was also attracted to girls, could be seen through moments with Camila. There’s no doubt in my mind that C played a huge part in Laurens self-acceptance. In an interview a couple months back, Lauren spoke about her sexuality at #beautyconNYC: (3:10-)

Lauren saying “what are you looking at when you see that” is blatantly obvious to me. Camila. The only factor fans could use at the time when/if doubting Lauren’s sexuality was Camila. The interactions and behaviours that the two shared, fuelled the speculation and presumptions about not only Lauren’s sexuality, but Camila’s also. She mentioned when she was younger, she “wasn’t ready to accept it about herself”. Presuming she was questioning her sexuality in her mid/late teens, the only person around her whom she publicly showed attraction to via these little secret looks and touches was Camila. She didn’t show anything intense towards the other 5H girls as she did with Camila. You could tell her interactions with Dinah, Ally and Normani were purely platonic and even from early X-Factor interviews, Lauren was always extremely protective and admiring of Camila. She spoke about “not being ready” to come out so at the time she must have already had existing doubts about her sexuality. I wonder which girl caused her questioning? Fans labelled her before she even had a chance to accept and fully understand it herself. So this coincides perfectly with Camila’s Facebook live, where she’s asked for her advise on an LGBT relationship where the other half isn’t ready “to come out”. (12:40-13:50)

Watch Lauren’s interview first then watch Camila’s. Compare their descriptions and understandings of ‘coming out’ and note that they are EXACTLY the same. C fills in the gaps L missed out in her interview and vice versa. It all falls in place like a little puzzle. Their words are spoken parallel to each others. Aren’t they basically both explaining how they personally reacted during that specific time? You can tell both are speaking from experience. C’s “I’ve learned that” was a massive slip up on her behalf.  I mean the only way you learn something is if you study it, or it happens to you. Camila must be super invested in the LGBT+ community to be able to articulate a response as intricate as the one she gave in this particular interview. There’s no doubt that each individual played some sort of role in the acceptance of each other’s sexualities, whatever those may be. 

Remember though: “All you can do is just love them”.

I wonder who did the loving in this scenario? Was it Camila? Was she loving Lauren as they both finally understood and accepted their feelings towards one and other? Is C’s Hurting the struggle in which she/Lauren were unable to view their sexualities in a positive light after the pressure of shipping and criticism from labels and PR teams? Is the Healing her coming to terms with herself and starting to gradually share to fans a huge part of her that is ‘forbidden’? Is the Loving the final ‘fuck it’, C accepting and being proud of being who she is? I wonder how many more “she” pronouns will pop up in the album. 

Everything is a process, sit tight.

anonymous asked:

Mick, just ask Donald for advise, he's Daisy's boyfriend, right? ;)

*sniff-sniff* something smells like a roast duck

anonymous asked:

If you were to advise young girls on what to look out for in guys, what would some of the things be?

typically my advice is to stay away from men for as long as possible. Odds are that the majority you run into, will hinder your growth. So my advice is to look out for men, rather than look for anything in them.

Cultivate your self-esteem, your passions, become financially independent.

Cultivating self-esteem: i can’t stress this enough, it must be there before you go near men. Most men will damage your self-esteem. It doesn’t even have to be deliberate on their part. It can be something like them not responding to your communication needs and you will turn that inwards, and see that as reflecting your self-worth.

My advice to brown girls is typically the same as well. To build those things first. But then i guess, reluctantly, I do advise them to date. Because they will often be discouraged from dating. And in my experience, no woman from our cultures has managed to get away with not being paired to a man without breaking ties, no matter her initial reluctance. And your parents pickings will definitely be far worse, in that the aim of parents choosing for you (whether anyone admits it or not) is to continue patriarchal control over you.

So coming to what to look for in men:

1) look for how he reacts when you disagree with him. This is the biggest thing imo. Does he get irritated. Does he budge. If he does budge is it reluctant “I guess you’re right”. Do things seem to always be followed by a but. What you want is someone who is impressed and admires you. Not someone who is annoyed that you know better or more, because that would mean he wants to maintain himself above you. Also, men can admire you for being intelligent or opinionated but still manage to reduce you for it: either objectify you or infantilize you. E.g., aw its so cute she knows a lot. OR it’s hot that she knows a lot. Avoid  both. 

2) is the conversation conducive: it’s more than if he is just listening to you and can regurgitate what you’ve told him about yourself. Does the convo have a flow. Do you get to say what you want. Does he hear you out, ask questions, show interest.. or is he just waiting for an entry point in the convo where he can insert himself in order to relate to you. Because the first one feels wholesome whereas the latter, while okay, will make you feel empty in the long run. 
(and i personally like it when i have said what I want, and the guy still stays quiet on the topic until I ask him so ‘what about you’. I like it when they are quiet and don’t speak unless instructed.. this applies for any men in my life not just dating  lmao but anyway)

3) look for how he talks about other women.. what it is that he talks about when he talks about women. Look at how he looks at other women. Ask him about the women he has been attracted to and how he became attracted to them/what about them he liked. Ask this for real women. Ask this about fictional women. Always be mindful of whether he is objectifying women or not. If he is objectifying women, he’s not capable of real love so forget it. How to know whether he is objectifying women or not? Ask yourself if you or any women you have known would become attracted to a man in the same way/same scenario that he is describing to you.

4) Porn, dominance & attraction: this one is by far the hardest for me to describe. It does go in with #3, about how they talk about women. You can ask the guy about his current porn use, age at first exposure. What he thinks about and gets off to lol. But I have found that they give it away in their verbal language and body language. Like the example of the guy I talked about who I had asked who he was attracted to/ if he ever found someone sexually attractive that he did not find emotionally attractive. And he mentioned his boss and then told me how he did fantasize about her, then goes “you know when you wanna put someone in their place….. oh you don’t know??” If a guy “falls for you” real fast, to me that is an indication of him having objectified you. Love takes getting to know. If he seems to have a “type”, i am personally weary of those men. Any type at all. A body type, even a personality type. Because they still manage to reduce women into categories. You cannot and should not fall in love with a category!

5) how he makes you feel about yourself: related to the above. It’s his responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. I have stated elsewhere that I believe, that unless a woman has clinical type self-esteem issues, the average woman’s self-esteem issues in a relationship actually stem from their male partner’s failures. Their male partner is either objectifying other women which comes across subtly in conversations or the way they behave. So if you are not feeling good about yourself while you are with him, you’re not crazy. He is shit. 

6) age old how he treats others: how does he treat people in the service industry. Does he get annoyed when his food at the restaurant takes longer. Life is a game of patience, and he won’t live if he doesn’t have any.

7) sense of responsibility: does he pick up after others. Not just himself. But others. This is observed. But also you can tell from the stories he tells you. What does he do for others? It’s the kind of thing where eg., the house phone rings, who has to go for it or else it goes unanswered? Would he put the dishes in the sink or leave them around for someone else to pick up?

8) what is he telling you about himself: related to above.. When we tell stories, we all want something taken away from them about ourselves. What is he trying to get across? Most men’s stories are about a display of power and dominance, rather than having been helpful. Take notice!

9) How he relates to other men and things deemed feminine: does he have a lot of guy friends (these men are a lost cause lmao). If he tries to distance himself from anything that is related to women, stay away from that man. E.g., he doesn’t watch click flicks… or  watches them cos they are good to watch when you don’t want to think so much. Also relating to #3, you can also check that from how he views female characters in movies, TV shows and books. If he sees their perspective or not. I remember one guy told me that robot girl from ex-machina was crazy, and that’s all he had to say, and i wanted to bash his head in cos of how dumb his thoughts on the movie were….. If he can’t see from the female perspective in shows and books where it is literally spelled out, he lacks emotional depth and empathy. 

I can’t think of more. Over the years I have mentioned quite a few as I came across! But I haven’t interacted much with men as of late so it’s not so fresh anymore. Just look for any display of dominance and dehumanization, both in words and in actions. I do have an advice tag

A cat person - Sirius Black x Reader

Request: DAMN I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS! Can I request a Sirius x reader where he finds her as animagus (cat) and become super close and always tries to take her to his room and class and everywhere but like.. she can’t and one day decides to tell him?❤️❤️ 

Yayyy!
Warnings: Um, I don’t really know. My English, not that great?
Image and Gif aren’t mine. Credits to their original owners.
Masterlist

You had finally achieved the transformation.

You had tried for months, followed every step. Of course, nobody knew. You, however,  had guessed that McGonagall was an exception.
You had to keep a leaf of a Mandrake in your mouth for an entire month and you could honestly say that it sucked. You weren’t able to speak or eat properly and even the last person that you talked to was worried that something was wrong. Lily had even insisted for you to visit Madam Pomfrey. But you managed to escape that. She would know instantly.
Another bummer was that you couldn’t choose your animagus form. If you could, you would very much like to be a lion or a tiger or even a cat. You knew that your form would represent your personality and you liked to think that you, just like a cat, can show all the affection in the world if someone had earned it but was independent and very well self-sufficient. And it was cute.
You had read that your animagus form and your Patronus could be the same. There was an exception, though. Your Patronus could change- so it would represent the soul of your significant other. You didn’t know your Patronus yet but you were quite positive that it would reveal your long-time crush on a certain raven-haired, gray-eyed boy. The crush was formed the very moment you laid eyes on him. But you were not that great when it came to actions. You just sat back while he slept with everyone. Literally everyone. But you didn’t do anything. What could you do anyways?
 So, here you were. Your first transformation.
You felt dizzy-like you had been drinking for a while. Kind of light headed. You looked down. Paws? Small paws? You wanted to squeal in happiness and excitement but all you managed to do was meow.
“Aren’t you adorable?”. Wait. What? You stopped walking because two strong hands picked you up, gently. You wanted to tell them to put you back down that instant but again, you just meowed.
He laughed. Oh, no. You knew that sound. You knew that laugh. Just your luck.
“Fiesty. But adorable” he continued, slightly petting your head, his slender fingers going through your fur. You purred before you could stop yourself. You must have been tiny for him to carry you in his palms.
“How did you end up here, alone?” he asked you and you felt the urge to facepalm. You moved your paws in a way that revealed your annoyance. He smiled and you felt yourself melting under his touch. But why was he outside that late?
“You need a name, don’t you?” he said softly. Not that you didn’t like him being there or that you were complaining. You leaned your head to his fingers. That was all it took. His smile dropped.
“Care to listen?” he simply asked you, his voice strained of happiness. You meowed. He remained still for a moment. You nudged him with your head.
“I have to be in my dorm and you are coming with me”. Was he insane? He was talking to a cat. Did he expect an answer? He chuckled.

His friends were fast asleep and you felt really bad for him. He truly needed someone to listen. He plopped down onto his bed, softly placing you onto his lap. You nuzzled him and purred, rubbing your head against his stomach. He was petting you like it was calming him down.
“Alright, tiger. Here is the deal…”Tiger? Really, tiger? He started telling you about his life and his family and even you wouldn’t call those people family; how he was treated and how he reacted. Eventually, he admitted that he wasn’t carefree and that it hurt him when he was disowned because after all, he was their son, their blood and you saw how hard it was for him. He tried to play it off but you just gave him a sympathetic look and bit his fingers playfully. What did I just do?
You spent all night with him-in your animagus form, of course. At some point he fell asleep, his hands still petting you. You felt torn. You wanted to stay but you had to -
To hell with it.
You carefully moved near his head, curled up in a furry ball and fell asleep. You wanted to show him that someone did care.


That had been going on about a month now. You were staying all night with him and once he got out of the room for breakfast you’d run like hellfire was coming your way. Just to make it in time. The last couple of days though, he had tried to carry you to class with him. Something that was impossible. You would miss the class and all of the professors would know that you were an illegal animagus. Neither were things you were looking forward to.
He, however, had managed to do it yesterday.

You were extremely uncomfortable. You hadn’t managed to stop him from carrying you to McGonagall’s class.Out of all of your professors, it had to be the other cat animagus. You knew she knew the moment she saw you. She smiled to herself.
“Mr. Black what on earth are you carrying?” she questioned him but her voice wasn’t stiff. She actually enjoyed it.
“My cat. Meet Tiger. Tiger, meet Minnie” he proudly introduced you. You were thankful that animals don’t blush.
“Your..cat?” she raised an eyebrow in question. Sirius grinned like a mad man.
“I adopted her” he answered, thinking that Minnie would be proud. And she was. But for a different reason. She just gave him a pointed look and walked away.
“I am not sure you want that kind of relationship with her” she whispered under her breath but you heard it.

You walked into his room. A cat. A cat walked into his room. You had to remind yourself a couple of times that all he ever saw was a cat.
You had learned that he was an animagus too- a black dog, which was the biggest irony in the world- as well as Remus’ secret. Not that you didn’t suspect it earlier. His words came as a confirmation.
He was already inside, looking kind of mad.
“You sneaky little Tiger” he said in a mocking way, pointing you-the cat. You furrowed your eyebrows, wait-not yours per say. You waltzed all the way to him, jumped on his bed and made yourself comfortable on his lap. You gave him a puzzled look or at least that was what you were aiming for. You meowed in protest when he removed you from his lap and almost scratched him.
“You haven’t let me impress her! She is never around when you are. Let me take you to her. PLEASE” he exclaimed with a funny look on his face. Oh, no. He wanted to use you to impress a girl?
You abruptly yet gracefully landed on the floor, making your way out. You really wanted to be alone for a second.
“Wait. No! Don’t go, Tiger” he said and a moment later you found yourself halting. He sounded… broken.
“She is never gonna like me. I mean-ugh!”. You weren’t sure if you should scream because ‘she’ wasn’t you or because he was hurt. But you did value his happiness a bit more than yours, so when he picked you up and petted you, you let him.
“Sure-most girls just throw themselves at me but she is not like that. She is this angelic-like creature; she is radiating. The sun doesn’t stand a chance. Her smile… oh, Tiger… her smile” he trailed off. He had that stupid grin on his face.        He looked cute. You would never have guessed that he could fall so much in love. She was one of the luckiest people on earth to have him swept off his feet- and she didn’t even know. He caressed your small head with affection. Something that you could only gain while in this form.
“I wish I could ask her on a date. Even her name is perfect. Have you ever heard a name so… Y/N. I mean it’s flowing like water- Tiger? Tiger!?”. You had lost your balance and fell down to the floor. Then, before you could think what had just happened, three idiots walked in.
“Still in love with Tiger?” James teased him but petted you while giving you a sweet smile. You, however, could only think of his previous words. Did he really say your name? Like you were that ‘she’?
“No, Prongs. That’s Y/N” Peter said, laughing and you knew that if you weren’t already on the floor you would have fallen.
“Man up and ask her out, Pads” Remus advised him. Bless your soul, Moony!
You run out of their room and made a beeline to yours. You could really use a moment.
 Once you were safely inside your dorm, you changed back to your human self! Finally.
You decided to skip tonight’s meeting and actually leave him a bit alone.
He actually liked you. He liked you. You kept repeating that to yourself but it didn’t seem any less impressive. You thought that you must have done something really good to deserve it.

 You were sitting in the Great Hall, eating breakfast and cheerfully participating in the conversation that your friends had started. Something about boys. Oh, you thought about boys, alright. One in particular.
 You noticed the group walking in and sitting down next to you. James, of course, sat next to his Lily-flower. You chuckled.
 You could tell that he was staring at you and you felt your heart skip several beats. With all the courage you had muster to find for a second, you turned towards him, smiled brightly. He was taken aback. Your smile only grew bigger.
“Good morning Sirius” you said kindly and very amused.
“H-Hi!” he stuttered out. You held back the urge to chuckle. The great Sirius Black. Everyone’s attention was on you.
“I would love to go out with you” you said nonchalantly while you poured some milk into your coffee. You could hear the gasps coming from everyone. Literally everyone. You looked at him like nothing had happened. He was choking on his breath.
“How- Wha-Uh?” he breathed out completely bewildered.
“A little cat told me” you said, sending him a wink. His eyes almost popped out. You laughed. He was so dense.
“You’re an animagus!” he whispered-yelled, causing you to shush him.
“What can I say.? For a dog, you are quite the cat person” you mocked him, continuing your breakfast, but not before you reached and pecked his cheek.
Little did you know, he was left breathless, bright red and smiling like he had won the lottery. Because in his mind, he had.

Travis wants to introduce a trans character to TAZ. He is asking for trans people to advise him.
  • [Excerpt from the episode “From Gaston Rossdale to Learning Through Kindness” from the podcast “Interrobang with Travis and Tybee”]
  • - Beginning 31: 41 -
  • Travis: “We’re about to wrap up our main storyline, from the last two and a half years. And we’re gonna start some new storylines. And we have had, I think an appropriate amount, of audience interest in introducing like some trans characters, some gender nonbinary characters, some characters in which gender is not necessarily the focus [of their stories], you get it.”
  • Tybee: “Yes.”
  • Travis: “I have honestly been wondering, because I want to get it right. What is the right way to introduce a trans character, without having to blatantly say, like: ‘You’re looking at a character that was born a man, but now identifies as a woman.’ Like how do you- I want to correctly introduce a character. I want to do it right. I don’t want to just do it to like check off a box, you know what I mean? I really think not only do I want representation, I also want interesting characters. I want characters that aren’t just, like, the most default character I can think of, but I also don’t want to do it just to pander. I don’t want to do it just to say that I did it. I want to do it right, and I don’t know what that is. So I need help. I need people to give me input on what is the right way to introduce a trans character, and make it clear to the audience that it is a trans character without being pander-y.”
  • Tybee: “Yes. Ok. I hope that our listeners will help you out with that.”
  • Travis: “Thank you, it’s just a thing I’ve been thinking about a lot-”
  • Tybee: “Where can they send that information?”
  • Travis: “I mean you can tweet it at me but [I’m on hiatus from Twitter]. You can email me travis@maximumfun.org or travismcelroy.com has a 'contact’ button if you wanna do that.”
  • Tybee: “Cool. Um, I… I thought about adding to the conversation but I think I will allow for that to be answered by our trans friends and fans-”
  • Travis: “You know actually, I would rather if we’re gonna do it, let’s talk about it on the Facebook [Interrobang group, not page] so that we can get a lot of different inputs on it. Because here’s the thing, I also recognize that any individual person can’t give me the whole scope answer; they can tell me through their experiences and where they’re at and what they want to see. But at the end of the day, I want to value independent opinions - but also an overarching opinion. Because I want to make people feel like they are represented as possible and not just an individual, so I’d rather it be an open conversation in a Facebook group. So, Interrobang [group] on Facebook.”
  • - End 34: 50 -

anonymous asked:

Part1) of my rant: Dany not listening to Tyrion's counsel anymore and favouring Jon's because of her feelings is such a bad thing; Ok it makes her more wreckless for his well-being, but Jon has had a positive impact on Dany from day 1, because in comparison to listening to Tyrion's advice which in the past has helped to do the right thing too, they have always been just vocal, whereas here is man Jon Snow who practices what he preaches and shows a good example to her and everyone around him all

Part II of my rant:) Furthermore, Dany has seen and witnessed that Jon Snow is a man of honour and lives by a high moral code. These qualiteshave not only made her fall in love with him but have set an example for her that she’s starting to. Compared to when she first arrived in 7X01, she’s become more humble, more reasonable and more grounded, because what she sees in Jon. Subconsciously she’s trying to model herself into the leader he is.

One of my least favourite things about this fandom is, glorifying Jon & undermining Dany, comparing them is like comparing someone running a startup & a Fortune 500 company. The Night’s Watch had less than 100 people to lead when Dany was the Queen of multiple large cities in Essos, the Slaver’s Bay. Even now, he needs her because she was able to inspire a force much larger to follow her. Jon is a good leader, agreed and he has a good influence on her and I’ll get to why but let’s not go as far as to say that she’s subconsciously trying to fit into his mould. 

If you read only the parts about Dany’s arc in S04 & 5 my meta covering their mirroring character arcs until they met, you’ll notice that Dany was doing very well as a leader (Season 3 & 4A) when she was pretty assertive in making her advisers known that they are only there to advise her. Upon discovering the return of slavery in the region, she began undermining herself and started relying heavily on her advisers, which led to her downfall. 

The best example of ‘what sounds smarter but being a blunder’ is when she sends Daario to kill the leading slave masters in Yunkai and Jorah talks her out of it. The leading slave master of Yunkai, the city of embezzlers, warned her when she first got there that they have powerful friends who would help them destroy her movement of abolishing slavery. With the information we have now, it’s easy to piece together that the Iron Bank was working with the city of embezzlers for creating the Sons of Harpy, to destabilise her regime. 

The only good advise Tyrion ever gave Dany was to kill only the two main leaders of the slave masters by tricking them into discussing terms of surrender during the siege on Meereen end of Season 6. 

Now that the opposing side is his own family, Tyrion’s crisis of allegiance is impacting his counsel and he has started treating Dany like an angry child he needs to control. Every single plan he suggested this season was a failure if you analyse them all and he doesn’t even understand the motivations behind her actions anymore. 

Why Jon is good for her? A psychologist I once knew, told me that when people come to you for advise, never tell them what to do but help them come to their own conclusions. And that’s what Jon does, every time she asks him for advise or he finds her undermining herself, he helps her find faith in herself and her own capabilities. Two good examples is the the fight on the beach in 7x04 & their dragon pit talk. 

That’s why Jon’s influence is better for her than Tyrion’s off lately because he doesn’t wish to control her or tell her what to do but, but he lays out his thoughts, helps her see what he sees in her & pushes her to make her own decisions using the information he presented.

Percy Meets Magnus
  • Annabeth shows up at Percy’s apartment with Sam, Magnus, Alex, Blitz, and Hearth
  • Annabeth drives there with her dad
  • She’s really annoyed when Magnus tells her they got there in a few seconds by taking a short cut through the world tree
  • “Come on, Magnus, I was in a car for FOUR HOURS! You could’ve mentioned a shortcut!”
  • Percy answers the door and says something like “I can’t go one month without some kind of apocalypse!”
  • They all come in and Sally makes snacks
  • Sam does most of the explaining about the Norse gods
  • Percy isn’t surprised
  • “Do you think the monsters can tell what kind of demigod you are just leave you alone if your not part of their world? Or do we just appear like regular mortals to them? I’ve never been attacked by Norse monster… at least, not that I know of.”
  • They all become really curious about it and spend several minutes discussing
  • Alex finally brings them back on task and they ask Percy for advise on sailing
  • The first thing he says is “Don’t drown”
  • Alex asks if he’ll be coming with them
  • Percy says he’s not since his main goal is to survive long enough to get past high school
  • Magnus says he already failed there
  • He then has to explain that he and Alex are dead
  • After that they discuss actually strategy and figure out the best plan for them to sail safely
  • After they leave Percy asks Annabeth “I wonder what’ll be next.”
Headcanon

How would the Ragnarssons react if they saw there wife being jealous?

Originally posted by alexander--ludwig

Björn Ironside

  • Him placing you on point, you should believe in him, trust him
  • You would probably start to yell at him
  • Him not giving a shit in public
  • Seeing you jealous gives him that certain grinn on his face, he knows you are protective over him, love him
  • But when he has you alone how he would grab a hold of your face and look you straight in the eyes
  • “You’re my wife, I respect you, admire you, love you, I would never hurt you.” “I know.” “So why are you still looking like this at me?” You would smile
  • Him loving you to fight over it, at least you are fierce like that
  • “She is looking at you again.” “And? Am I looking?” That would silence you on the subject

Originally posted by imdancingintherain07

Ubbe Ragnarsson

  • Him giving an explanation for it
  • Him reassuring you he would never cheat on you
  • Him avoiding the person you were jealous about, or at least get you in the conversation every time again
  • Him begging you to not be jealour, or angry, or both
  • “Did you take a look at her?” “Way to often.” “What do you see?” “That she looks to you way too much Ubbe.” “Wrong answer. That she isn’t half that pretty as you are.”
  • Him kissing you so you would forget
  • Him sneaking you to one of your favorite spot afterwards
  • “I love you.” “I should be jealous more often, you never told me that as much as now”

Originally posted by valyavalkyrie

Hvitserk Ragnarsson

  • Him finding it cute to see you jealous
  • Him taunting you over it while wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you closer
  • Him apologizing for making you jealous, in all kind of funny ways
  • “You did it before.” “Yes, but I wasn’t married, do I need to prove my love?”
  • And he would stroke his fingers underneath you shirt, or pulling your dress up while giving you a promising look
  • Him making it up with sex, every time again
  • You probably slap him somewhere along the way, because he isn’t taking you serious
  • “You wanna play a game?” “What game Hvitserk?” “Make me jealous.”

Originally posted by bonniebirdsgifcentre

Sigurd Snake in the Eye

  • Him feeling guilty for making you jealous
  • Him not knowing how to approach you
  • Him changing looks with you way to often
  • “What was she doing here?” “Nothing …” “Sigurd!” “She was helping me giving advice, for a surprise.” “Ooh …”
  • Him being socially akward for a time
  • Him cuddling you with you at night, resting his head on your shoulder while promising he would never make you jealous again
  • Him asking his brothers for advise
  • “Please don’t act like this.” “I’m not acting.” “I’m beggin you Y/n.” “I like to see you beg.” You smiled, playing him all along

Originally posted by dangerousvikings

Ivar The Boneless

  • He would drag whoever you are jealous of before you so you could judge there is nothing to be jealous about
  • “Don’t I give you enough, don’t I satisfy you enough?” “Yes but,” “What are you complaining about then. Get inside and I will show you some things to be jealous about.”
  • He loves to see you jealous, gazing you with that smug grin on his face
  • You not wanting to sleep with him again
  • Him wishing you good luck with that
  • Him claiming you every time you are around the one your jealous about, laying his hand on your knee, squeezing your thight, whispering
  • Him sushing you silence, pointing out that he is more jealous of the men around you then the other way around
  • “By the gods, I love to see you jealous.” “Not funny Ivar.” “For me it is.”
S/O never had a boyfriend before

#relatable

17 years without one and still going strong!

Jin

You blushed as Jin leaned in for a kiss and back away slightly. “What’s wrong? do you not like me back?” His face filled with worry over the possibility and you laughed nervously. 

“N-no. I just,I’ve never had a boyfriend or been kissed or anything.This is all kinda new to me” You looked down and blushed. 

Jin laughed and lifted your chin up to face him. “We’ll just take this slow then. I promise, I’ll be the best first boyfriend ever.” With that, he linked your hands together and kissed them softly. 

Originally posted by bwiseoks


Suga 

Suga was the best first boyfriend you ever had. He was gentle, kind, and didn’t try to rush the relationship at all. Plus, he had just gotten the approval of both you dad and your brother.

You were cuddling on the couch when you looked up at him, studying his features. He noticed and tilted his head questionly. “What’s up?”

“Thank you.” he looked at you oddly, not understanding what you meant. “You’re just an amazingly wonderful first boyfriend. I thought you should know.” He smiled and kissed your forehead before returning his attention back to the movie. All seemed right in the world, and you both couldn’t help but smile.

Originally posted by mal7j


J-Hope

It was single’s night at the bar and you figured you might as well go. Maybe you’d finally find the one and live happily ever after. Sadly, as the night wore on, it seemed you were wrong.

“Hi there? Anyone sitting here?” some guys asks. You shake your head and let him sit.”I’m Hobi.” he said, giving you a smile.

“Nice to meet you.You here for single’s night?” He shakes his head yes and you begin talking. The night wears on and as you both leave, he gives you his number. “You should know that you’ll be my first boyfriend if this goes anywhere.”

Hobi just smiled and nodded his head. “You’ll be my first girlfriend.”

Originally posted by btsumari


Rap Monster

Rap Monster was greedy for you after he got home from a show. With the other boys out, he decided to make his move. He kiss you gently at first, but it quickly came heated. Soon, clothes were off and you were on the bed. 

Before anything could happen you took a deep breath. “Wait.” Rap Monster looks down at you with a confused look.

“You okay? Did I do something wrong?” he asked, searching your eyes for an answer.

“No. It’s just. Your my first boyfriend and this is my first time coming this far.I just don’t know if I’m ready.” you say, tears forming in your eyes. You felt bad for stopping so close, but Rap Monster just laughs. 

“Don’t worry. We’ll wait till you’re ready. I promise.” He hands you back your clothes and kisses you forehead before getting dressed again. “How about a movie?”

Originally posted by namjoonsgurl


Jimin

When you told Jimin about not dating before, he straight up laughed. HE thought you were kidding. You HAD to be kidding. The look on your face told him otherwise.

“Well then, I’ll be the perfect prince. You need to know what a good boyfriend is like.” for a good boyfriend, he sure did set the bar high. Sweet kisses, cuddles, movies, making you laugh, he did everything right. 

“I’m glad I chose you as my first boyfriend jimin-ah.” you said one day watching a movie. Jimin just smiled and blushed as he covered his face. 

“I’m glad too.”

Originally posted by wellhell0therenicetomeetyou


V

V kept dropping hint that he wanted to take your relationship further. Sadly, you understood none of them. One night, he sighed and flopped onto the bed. “Whats wrong?”

“Do you not understand what I’ve been trying to do?” he asked, looking up at you. “I mean, I’ve tried every trick in the book. Didn’t your other boyfriends try this too?

“Tae, I’ve been single all my life. I’ve never had another boyfriend.” you explain, laughing at the look on his face. You lay down next to him and kiss his nose.”Now, tell me exactly what you’ve been trying to do.”

Originally posted by taehyungieluv


Jungkook

Jungkook was getting worried. You seemed so distant from what he thought y’all should be. He asked the other members for advise, and they all told him that he should talk to you, so he planned just that.

You came into the room and sat down on the couch next to him, frowning as he turned the movie off. “Do you actually like me? I mean, it just seems so awkward and distant between us. Is something wrong?”

You blush and hide your face.”I just haven’t had a boyfriend before. I’m not sure how this all works out.” Jungkook just laughs and takes your hand in his.

“Well, at least I know. Awkward together?”

“Akward together.”

Originally posted by bottomkookie

The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy

Title: The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy
Author: magpie_fngrl // @cat-wolfe
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 37,600  
Summary: “Instead of laughing about it, Harry, you could use this experience to educate Malfoy in Muggle culture.”
“I have no wish to educate Malfoy in anything,” Harry said, although the thought of unleashing a confused and annoyed Malfoy in Muggle London sounded quite entertaining.
Or the one where Zacharias Smith writes a tell-all and Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are assigned community service in Muggle London.

This story, let me tell you, is fantastic!

Zacharias Smith has written a tell-all book about Dumbledore’s Army, and in it suggests that Harry and Draco, well, he suggests that Harry and Draco had have the hots for each other for ever. Draco is Most Displeased. So much that he leaves his sort of self-imposed insolation and goes looking for Zach and punches him in the face, basically.

Auror Harry is called to sort the public disorder but ends up punching Zach himself as well. And that’s how both Harry and Draco end up assigned in community service in Muggle London. It’s glorious! At first Draco is all stand-offish, you know, but they have to be there for three months so eventually they start talking (oh my god, Harry asks for advise on breaking up with someone he’s causally seeing, you see) and soon Draco discovers Cosmopolitan and Coca Cola and he loves it, and they start going out, to the cinema and—well, you should just read it because it’s fucking brilliant. :D 

ladiekatie  asked:

I see and love your american assassin/sterek au list. but consider... American Assassin!Stiles and Everybody Wants Some!Derek. Stiles the super high tense military man, who has worked his whole life in the field and doesn't know what a real home is and Derek the super chill frat boy that never really grew out of it plays softball with his coworkers but takes it way too seriously. They meet while Stiles has an unusual break and decides to go home to see his parents graves. and Stiles is (1/?)

Stiles is walking through town seeing how little it’s changed since the last time that he was here, probably like 5 years before. And Somehow he runs into Derek and maybe they were friends in kindergarten before Stiles was shipped off to who knows where after his parents died. And their such juxtapositions that they hate each other? like Stiles was so fun loving and happy as a kid and now he has a murder-y vibe about him, and derek had so much potential to be a professional ball player (2/?)

but he blew his knee in college and his career is over. so now he just bums around, he’s got a part time job a few places, but he isn’t very good at one thing or another. They fucking hate each other. and somehow, they keep bumping into each other. and some-fucking-how they are at the same restaurant at the same table together, and they’re both nervous because this is not a date, nope. IT’S NOT A DATE OKAY?!?! but Derek manages to make Stiles crack a smile, and maybe seeing Stiles so taken (3/?)

care of by his job makes Derek want something more from his life of living paycheck to paycheck. Soooo, Derek starts feeling Stiles out, asking for career advise and maybe taking the jobs he has now more seriously? while Stiles hasn’t felt so light talking to someone in years, and he keeps trying to find ways to talk to Derek because he makes him feel /happy/. And then SOMEHOW they end up on a real date. and that date goes all the way to Derek’s apartment. *Wiggles eyebrows* (4/?)

Stiles break gets extended, and they spend more and more time together. Stiles realizes he’s falling for Derek a little bit? and Derek realizes that despite his broody demeanor, he can really see him and stiles being something long term. And Stiles is called into go to work, and he takes off without really telling Derek. Derek doesn’t know what he does, he wouldn’t understand, and Stiles really has to get away from him because he can’t fall in love. He isn’t enough for anyone, especially (5/?)

Derek. So he leaves… and he tries not to look back, but he dreams about Derek at night. Both sexy and not sexy dreams. He even dreams about them having a fucking house together with dog and a little girl. like. fuck he’s in deep. and it affects his mission. when he finishes, his bosses are like “this isn’t you stilinski” and he’s like “no, not anymore. I’m out.” and after some yelling and threats to and from stiles, he leaves. He goes home and tries to find Derek but he can’t find him. (6/?)

He goes around to all the shops he works at and they all tell him he skipped town a few days ago. after getting his number, he tries to call, but derek won’t answer and stiles starts to worry that someone found out who he was to stiles and kidnapped him. So Stiles uses his army/assassin contacts to find him. He’s in San Diego. so Stiles goes to san diego and is tracking derek onto UCSD campus and bursts into a lecture hall to find… derek… in class??? (7/?)

Derek is super embarrassed and sends Stiles to his apartment with promise they’ll talk after class. So Stiles goes, and when Derek comes back they talk. Turns out Stiles leaving lit a fire under derek’s but to be better. because he thought Stiles left becuase he was such a deadbeat. and then Derek asks “Why did you bust into my lecture hall with a gun?” and that’s when Stiles tells derek what he does… did. love confessions ensue. happily ever after ensues after that. (8/?)

Once Derek graduates, and once Stiles finds a job he can do (ptsd makes it hard to find a job) they buy a house, get a dog. a few years later, Derek is teaching at BHHS, and is the baseball coach. He takes himself more seriously than he ever has. they adopt a little girl. Stiles hasn’t touched a gun in years, and he can sit in a room without being on high alert. He can relax. EVERYTHING IS SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS. (9/9)

KATIE I WOULD READ 100K OF THIS JFC.

ALL THE STEREK AUS. I love it. I was reading them as each message came in just like… YES WHAT’S NEXT.

Originally posted by maruminn

hello appblr world!! I recently graduated high school (c/o 2015), and I will be attending Duke University in the fall, hoping to pursue a double major in English and Political Science with a minor in either Psychology or Neuroscience :’) 

applying to colleges was one of the most stressful experiences of my life, so I really want to help out anyone who is now currently feeling those tidal waves of anxiety and panic. my intention is to help and hopefully alleviate any nerves about applying to college (in America)

the summer before my senior year, every time I read the word ‘college’, my heart rate spiked & I started internally freaking out. for me, the whole process was super overwhelming, and my distaste for the education system (specifically, the american education system) quadrupled. I remember feeling incredibly confused and alone because I didn’t know where to start, so here is a lil guide thingy!!! 

THE SUMMER BEFORE SENIOR YEAR: 

  • make sure and finish all your summer assignments – I know that college applications are a strong focus, but get what you’re supposed to do out of the way first + you will feel less overwhelmed and more productive
  • start making a list of colleges that you want to apply for – my best suggestion is to categorize them into safety schools, match schools, and reach schools
    • ref: generally people look at a school’s admitted profile (on the school website) and compare stats, which means gpa, rank, test scores, etc. if you can, it’s also helpful to read into their supplementary essay prompts and examples to give you a general idea of what a college is looking for (ex. UChicago is notoriously known for their quirky supplementary essay prompts; famous past prompts include: Find X, Where’s Waldo?, Why are you here?, What’s so odd about odd numbers?) 
  • do lots of research on schools you’re interested in – ok now I know that reading these long paragraphs on school websites can get really tiring, so try watching some youtube videos or looking the school up on reddit, and be sure to talk to current students to get a first-hand account
    • look at location, diversity, the programs offered in relation to what you’re interested in, size, public vs private institutions, sports, social scene, political affiliations, financial aid offered, study abroad, etc)
  • try and figure out a general field of what you’re interested in – you do NOT need to know what you want to major in, but when you’re applying for colleges, you will most likely need to select an intended major; if not, you will apply as undeclared, which has its advantages and disadvantages!! but even with an intended major, most colleges don’t make you officially select a major until sophomore, sometimes even junior year, so it is okay to not know what you wanna do when you’re 16/17/18!!! but explore and reflect and try and figure out a general field of what you’re interested in. do NOT use your grades as a sole factor in deciding; if you are good at math and have really high grades, that does not necessarily mean that you should be a math major - pursue your passions!! if you know that you like writing and reading, then consider a major in english or literature. if you think you’d like to work with computer software, then consider a major in computer science or computer engineering. ALSO know that there are so many potential majors + even the option to create your own at some universities!! and also know that many people change majors, and that is totally ok :) 
  • in august, common app will open, which is what many colleges use for the application process. certain schools will have specific websites themselves (i.e. MIT, University of California schools, etc) – if you make an account BEFORE august, it will be deleted by then, so be careful!! now, when you make ur account, you can add schools and you can look at their supplements and stuff. be sure and note deadlines!! 

DURING SENIOR YEAR: 

  • keep up with your school work – senioritis is REAL AND ALIVE, my friends. you will think it’s really bad first semester, but then it just explodes into a frenzy of apathy and indifference second semester + you basically don’t care about anything; this is normal, but still try and focus. colleges can rescind their acceptances, altho it’s not likely unless you suddenly fail everything, but overall, it’s just important to still try
  • keep good relations with your teachers (both current teachers and past teachers) & decide on which to ask for a rec – for many schools, they will require at least one teacher recommendation, so you must decide between which teachers you wanna ask. I would advise picking the teachers you’ve always had good relations with, and in a subject where you’re really passionate about learning the material. when asking, be respectful of deadlines (aka don’t ask them to write you a rec two days before the deadline. they are people too), and be sure and say thank you. if you can, make them a card or make/buy them a little gift; I promise you, they’ll appreciate it!! 
    • if the school you’re applying to requires multiple teacher recs: many people advise asking teachers of different subjects to emphasize your well-roundedness – you can do that or you can ask teachers of one subject that you’re really interested in; weigh your options and politely ask. asking teachers can be really scary sometimes, especially if you’re very shy, but they’re there to help you and it’ll all work out :)
  • write a common app essay (if applicable) – common app has 4 prompts that you can choose from, and then you’ll submit that to all the colleges ur applying to thru common app. this is very important. if you’re not a good writer, do not fret!! most of the time, the subject of these essays are very personal. a lot of people write about some trying time in their lives, but plenty of other people write creatively about something small, but important. remember that essays are a way for admission directors to get to know the real you :’) that sounds super cliche, but keep in mind that you are more than ur gpa and ur sat/act score. prove that to them by writing about something you care about
    • if you are ok with it (and it’s totally ok to not be ok with it), ask someone you trust to read over it and edit it. a lot of people ask their language arts teachers just bc they’ll help with grammar and structure, but asking other trusted adults and peers will be helpful too!! keep in mind the potential of bias from parents + friends though 
    • you will most likely write your common app essay multiple times. you will have lots of drafts & it can be really stressful, but patience. you will be so happy when you finally finish 
  • finalize your college list and start writing supplementary essays – many colleges will have supplementary parts to the application on top of common app. this can range from totally separate essays to lil short-answer questions, so be prepared and give yourself plenty of time to write!! just as with your common app essay, getting feedback can be super helpful
    • also remember that many colleges accept arts supplements (this range depends on the college, but I’ve seen colleges accept writing, dance, music, visual art, etc) & these fall under a different deadline, usually. if you want to submit in an art supplement, you may have to submit in your essays and everything earlier 
    • OH ALSO some colleges will have an early decision or early application deadline – this is basically an earlier deadline for ur app in exchange for an earlier decision. be careful on the difference between EA and ED!!! ED is BINDING, which means that if you get in, you have to go (you can get out of it for financial reasons tho), and EA is NONBINDING, which means that even if you get in, you can decide to go to another school
  • submit in your transcript and any test scores you need – different schools have different policies, but most fall under either the SAT + SAT 2 scores OR ACT + writing scores; I would suggest contacting the counseling office asap, but be super nice!! counselors are there to help you through this process, but it can be really overwhelming for them too
    • pay close attention to whether or not ur college requires a counseling rec or not
  • double check everything for small details – some colleges accept peer recs, but sometimes they don’t publicize that detail very much so just be observant! same with priority deadlines for interviews; you may have to submit in your app earlier if you want priority for an interview
  • accept ur interview opportunities – meet with an alumni or go on campus if you can and give an interview!! they’re really helpful sometimes bc it provides the school with a look into who you are as a person, not just as a student. also, from my experience, the alumni are super nice and really interested + it’s nice to just talk and nerd out about the school you like :’) 
  • submit ur apps (hehehe of course!) 
  • apply for scholarships – this is something that I wish I had taken more seriously, but really, college is expensive and scholarships can make all the difference. talk to your counselors if you don’t know where to start & literally just google for them!! be careful you are eligible for the ones you’re interested in and make sure you submit everything in by the deadline too 

AFTER SUBMITTING YOUR APPLICATIONS:

  • distract yourself like crazy – the wait is horrible and the anticipation is killer, if you’re anything like me at least. hang out with your friends and just enjoy your senior year!! this is the last of high school & i promise you that as much as you may hate it (if you do hate it), you will feel bittersweet by the end of the year. so make memories and make the best out of the time you have left in high school 
  • check your email – colleges oftentimes send you emails if they need you to send them anything more, or they’ll update you about things. they’ll usually also email you with where you need to go to check your decision
  • don’t let the senioritis take over ur soul 

RECEIVING YOUR DECISIONS: 

  • acceptances – YAY CONGRATULATIONS!!! be proud of yourself and know that you deserve it 100000%, wholeheartedly. they did not make a mistake, and you ARE that amazing. celebrate your accomplishment, but also be humble. it’s likely that you have a friend that either got waitlisted or denied, so be careful what you say 
  • rejections – i’m sorry, my dear!! but you are not meant to be at that school, and that is okay. even if it is your dream school. this does not reflect ur self-worth & this def does not mean that you aren’t good enough. this simply means you aren’t a good fit for the school!! most people have to deal with rejections, so take some time for yourself. eat some comfort food and watch some tv. read a book if that relaxes you. take a bath with lots of bubbles. do whatever is necessary to cleanse yourself of any negative thoughts you may have, and then realize that you can accomplish SO much wherever you end up!! UR A BRILLIANT SHINING STAR & I HAVE FAITH IN YOU :’)
  • waitlisted – being waitlisted (or deferred during EA/ED, which basically pushed you back to the regular decision time) sucks so much bc you just want to know; take a deep breath and consider all your options. make backup plans. if you’re really interested in the school, email them and tell them that!! make sure if you want to be on the waitlist, that you notify them of that (usually via mail or online somehow). if you don’t wanna be on the waitlist, make sure you take yourself off so you give everyone else a better chance :) 
  • weigh your options through careful, careful consideration – there are so many factors that may come into play when finally deciding on which college to go to
    • money is usually a huge factor, and sometimes you won’t be able to go to a great school even though you got in bc it’s too expensive. but do not be sad about this. give yourself time to feel sad, but don’t let it dictate your life!! you need to stay logical and rational. think long-term. sit down with your guardians and discuss the option of taking out loans and so forth. if you’re planning on pursuing grad school afterwards, you need to keep that in the picture as well 
    • talk to current-students and compare important things – if you’re really big on community service, ask the current students at different schools how it is there. this applies for everything!! first-hand accounts are incredibly helpful. you can also consider emailing professors of departments you’re interested in for a more professional and academic perspective 
    • look into their programs and try and avoid putting too much emphasis on rankings - be specific and read up on the department that you’re interested and compare them with different schools. don’t blindly let an overall ranking mislead you!! (i.e. Duke is ranked higher overall than Georgia Tech, but Georgia Tech is ranked MUCH higher in many of its engineering programs) 
    • talk to people – talk to your parents. talk to your counselors, your teachers, your peers. basically everyone is talking about college your senior year, so take advantage of it. talk with other people and get second, third, fourth, fifth opinions. expand your mind and consider everything!! 

senior year is this giant conglomeration of sweat and tears and happiness and anger and jealous and confusion, so do not worry if you are feeling overwhelmed!! it is normal, and i promise that everyone has felt scared about the future at some point. but with that, be confident in yourself. you’re absolutely lovely + you will go far in life!! 

ok 1) I apologize for how absurdly long this post is and 2) I am here to help if ANYONE has ANY questions about anything!! literally I would love giving advice, so feel free to msg me anytime (my main account is @naiveety though, so whichever works) 

ALSO if anyone is interested in Duke, please please please come to me & I will help!!!

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE APPLYING TO COLLEGE & MAY YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL, BRILLIANT FUTURE :’) 

"HANNAH FUCKED CLAY'S LIFE AND OF EVERYONE ON THE TAPES"

Okay. I just want to say what i think about this. I’ve seeing a lot of people hating on hannah because she “ ruined clay’s and Alex, Zach, etc…lifes.”

Clay didn’t deserve to be on the tapes but he MUST be because as Hannah said was her story and if she was going to tell it Clay couldn’t stay outside.
Tony did not deserve the burden that Hannah left him but I also understand Hannah a lot and because she did the things she did. 
Also, we have only some of the reasons. Not all. For which Hannah killed herself, because the list said more.
Besides that, is true that Clay suffered a lot and if Hannah had been clearer with him surely she would have saved.
But Hannah was very hurted and got tired of asking for help from the wrong people and Clay really liked her so I understand why she felt afraid and was embarrassed to tell Clay what was wrong. (Removing the fact that she thought it was only going to ruin him, I think it went beyond that)
She didn’t want to lose him but she losed him anyway because he ended up going.

The point here is not Hannah.
Unfortunately, the point here is Clay. And Tony. And all who could do something but did not.
The point of the story is that, it makes everyone stand up and think ‘I should have listened, I should have said this, I should have insisted’
When Tony said he ignored the tapes until half an hour later because he thought Hannah was a bit dramatic. When Clay got scared and left the room because he did not know how to react. All those are things that they know were wrong. They could have changed everything from having been a bit braver or not to have judged.
So I’m not judging Hannah or thinking that she was wrong for put Clay in the tapes, Clay already suffered from panic and anxiety before the tapes.
This just hit him more and did all that because he suffered those things and Hannah didn’t knew but still, Clay needed to know the truth.
And Tony told to him this several times.
If Clay did not listen to the tapes, there would be no story.
Besides, was needed that clay to be brave to make everyone recognize their mistakes and do justice. If Hannah never made the tapes, what happened to her was going to keep happening.
And that’s what the show want to teach and that’s what Clay tries to prevent.

Yesterday I read that a girl put “I hate Hannah because of her Clay’s going to spend his whole life trying to save everyone”
I think not just Clay, everyone on the tapes are going to think twice before doing things and I think that’s not bad.
Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes people prefer to ignore things to do something because it’s very painful to face it or take justice. But sometimes ignoring it is worse. And that’s what Clay learns. That it is necessary to speak when one has to speak and do something, that one has to be courageous.
That’s why Clay also continues passing the tapes at the end to Porter because everyone needs to take responsibility for what they did. ( also that jessica asked him for do it) And if you can not live with it, you try to live to repair it. And If what you did has no way of being fixed you have to live with it in the way you can.
But you can’t live like nothing if you made someone kill himself.
No matter how few intentions you had or how little you did compared to others, you did it, and anyway, none of those who did Hannah things had good intentions.
Not even Zach.
Just Clay.
That’s why, although for clay it was very painful to listen to the tapes and this almost did killed himself ( i cried a lot in that part) I think he had to listen to them and it’s like Tony said “you’re not God, you can’t stop everything”
Clay only feels guilty because he couldn’t save Hannah but none of they could, they all failed even if Clay loved her.
Tony is very sensible about what he said to Clay, because he needed to know about the tapes but he also had to know that he should not be there, that he didn’t do anything wrong, and that he was the only reason Hannah could have had to stay.
But I think guilt sometimes causes people to react.
And even if to Alex made him kill himself, if the tapes did not exist they would all have continued to live their lives quiet while Hannah killed herself.
And Bryce and all those who fucked up his life would never stop hurting others.
What is being said behind the scenes “if Bryce or any of them don’t get a cost for what they did, they will keep doing it over and over again.”
So I think everything had to be in that way. If Clay wasn’t on the tapes, nothing would have happened and no one would have done justice. Jessica would have believed Justin just as long as who knows and when she knew, she would not have the courage to talk about it or face anyone. Justin would never have considered the things he did or would never have had to tell Jessica the truth or face Bryce and break their false friendship. Bryce would never have confessed and would continue raping girls because no one of who are in the tapes faced bryce. They just left it that way. They kept their mouths shut for their own protection.
The only one who did something is Clay. And Alex would have continued to do things to be part of the bryce group and the idiots. Alex would have continued to do lists or who knows other things.
Marcus would have continued to play girls whenever he felt like it.
(And although many believe that zach is innocent and what he did was minimal or not important, I do not think so) maybe what Zach did was minimal compared to others in the tapes. But it matters. In the end, everything matters.
As hannah said is a snowball that is getting bigger.
So Zach stole the only source of happiness that Hannah had at that time (besides he being very childish making this lmao) and not only that, Hannah wrote to him a letter telling him how much she was suffering and that she needed those compliments.
And Zach ignored the letter. Maybe he did not throw it. Maybe he saved it. A point for Zach.
But he ignored her. He did not do anything. And sometimes don’t do anything is worse than doing it. That’s what the series is all about.
Maybe Zach was scared but I refuse to have compassion on him and minimize what he did, because minimizing what Zach did would be minimize the pain of hannah, and I think we’ve all learned that’s a BIG mistake. Minimizing the pain of others is not good. Zach might have a good heart … or not.
I’ve seen the series already three times and I could not help think: why do y'all overlook the scenes where Zach is a bully? LITERALLY. Zach laughs and encourages Bryce to send the picture of hannah from Justin’s phone, Zach makes obscene gestures along with marcus and the others to Hannah in the hallways after Alex’s list, Zach pushes Clay down the hallway and mocks on him. Zach stoled clay’s bike with Alex and Justin. ZACH AS THE OTHERS KEEP SILENCE ON A RAPIST. Zach continued to be friends with this rapist. Was Zach scared to help Hannah? But not scared enough to bullied others?
Maybe Zach wanted to be a marine biologist and maybe he’s allergic to strawberries. But I’m not interested. Because Zach is no different from the rest. And if Clay had not scratched his car, and if he had not faced Zach, maybe Zach would have done worse things in the future, he would have never felt guilty at all.
If Hannah did not make the tapes or did not include Clay in them, maybe Mr. Porter would never know the truth and ignore other people asking for help or advised them wrong again, and Hannah’s story would be repeated.
Maybe Courtney would continue to pretend to be friends with everyone and use people to cover her homosexuality. And Tyler would continue to spy on people and stalking people through his windows and would continue to take photos and violating the privacy of others if Clay had not faced him and the tapes did not exist, because he would never understand what hannah felt if clay did not make him feels it too.
And Ryan would continue stealing things that do not belong to him and leaving others in ridicule for his own arrogance.
And Clay would never know that it is better to say things when you should and when you have the opportunity because you could save a life.
And nobody would know the importance of what they did and said. And sheri would continue to do bad things and leave them that way that could lead to the death of more people and not just Jeff. And there would be more than one Jeff.
The only one different on the tapes is Clay. So clay had to be in the tapes because otherwise, they would all have continued to live and who knows if the tapes had kept going, maybe Bryce would have burned them and no one would ever know the truth more than they. And maybe he would have even looked for Tony to get rid of the copies or who knows.
Because not even Tony was encouraged to do something when he knew the whole truth Even Tony did not know what to do, just Clay.  
Because it’s easy to stand up and say “Hannah is a bitch she ruined everyone’s life with the tapes”
But what about her life? Who would pay anything for ruined Hannah’s life?
Were all the others supposed to keep living peacefully because Hannah was dramatic and crazy according to them? No.
 Hannah and Clay are the ones who didn’t deserve so much pain throughout history. Then maybe a little bit Alex and Jessica.
But everyone else deserved to be on the tapes and deserved to take responsibility for what they did. And I think Hannah was not dramatic. That’s all. Thank you if you read this mess until the end.

2

Guys! But like, p Chris heard Eva tell Vilde that they should ask for advice to someone who knows more than them, and then he asks Jonas, who clearly knows Eva better than he does.
I can picture P Chris going crazy about not knowing what to do to change Eva’s mind about them being together and then him suddenly remembering what she said, so he immediately asks For advise!

happy-hummer  asked:

Hey Taime! :-) As an INTP, how can I learn to focus my energy into one subject to master it? I have so many interests that I don't linger much on them.

Related questions (@mr-entj style because it’s awesome):

  • How can an INTP be more mindful? I set goals for myself to be more productive, then I’m playing my whole day off. Or I can be very forgetful of procedures and names. Not very mindful of me. 😛
  • I know you get a lot of asks, but I figured that this might be a problem with other INTPs as well. I really love music and I’m going into music performance (I play the flute), it’s what I want to make into a career. The only problem is that a lot of what I’d be doing/am doing right now involves lots of meticulous detail work that can drain me really quickly. I have a hard time motivating myself to get up and do it, but it is essential to making things work. Any tips? Thanks!
  • Hey, I’ve read that many INTP’s are usually interested in a lot of things and get bored of them kinda fast. But I can’t even seem to find one thing that I’m not too lazy to do, not to mention a lot of things. I go home and just sit at the computer. I dislike drawing, crafting, etc. because It really gets on my nerves and I’m terrible at it. I don’t really have any hobbies. Have you ever had a period in your life when you were like that too? if yes, then what did you do to change it?
  • Hello! First of all, I adore your blog. Secondly, do you have some kind of advice for an INTP who wants to survive High School with great grades to satisfy her own ambitions? I’m having some problems because of laziness and procrastination
  • And a truckload of similar asks.

Mastery, Motivation, Productivity, Finding Your Interests—An INTP Perspective

I want to write this as an INTP who got at least decent at these things out of my own volition. Most advice, books, speakers on these topics are very Te and/or SJ-focused. Some of them are very helpful, but a lot of them do not work well for me.

How to be better at anything:

1. Observe yourself like a hawk.

The goal is to recognize what’s effective for you. This will be different for everyone. You must set a goal to step out of the moment and truly be mindful of yourself, instead of going through the flow of your daily life. Otherwise, you will not pick up habits and mindset that you’re accustomed to.

For me, I came to realize that I’m much more productive/motivated when:

  • I have multiple projects to switch between when I’m bored or exhausted my ideas for the current one. This is why being an entrepreneur works really well for me. And even when I work in a company, I’d ask my boss for 3-4 projects to do at the same time and demonstrated that I can do this.
  • I’m ridiculously easily distracted by my own thoughts while working (blame the Ne). I found out that it subsided when a something other than music is playing in the background so that I can “focus” my distraction (music doesn’t work somehow). At first, I used to watch game playthroughs because I’m a nerd, but I made a switch to educational videos and audio books half a year ago. Now I spend at least 5 hours/day learning new things while working and not getting distracted. Win-win-win.
  • My workstation isn’t in my bedroom. I’d get sleepy and distracted ridiculously easy.
  • I’m either by myself or in a space where no one would directly interact with me, e.g. library or coworking space.
  • I tell people who are important to me about my goals and keep them updated on the progress. I’m much more motivated to hold myself accountable because I don’t want someone I respect to think of me as flaky.
  • I tend to procrastinate if I wake up early. If I’m up at 11am, I’d go “oh shit it’s already late, I must get started right away” instead of thinking “there’s still so much time…I could make breakfast, go get coffee, etc.” It’s a very common advice to get up earlier to be more productive. I know I won’t be able to fool myself because I’d always rationalize my way out of it. My optimal work hours have been from 11am-3am with breaks in between.
  • I get in the zone easily when I start, but it’s a huge hurdle to get myself to start. And therefore, the point above does help.
  • I can’t do things on a schedule (e.g. at 10AM I will start working on task A and finish by 12PM, then eat lunch, then at 1PM I will start task B). Some people excel at this, mind you, but I’d lose motivation faster than I can start. What works for me is listing the deadlines, which could be in days or weeks, then switch around tasks/projects as I like.

My full list would easily go over a hundred items. Recognize your own. As I mentioned, this list will be different for everyone.

An important note: it’s not shameful to admit that you need external validation. I know that I wouldn’t have gotten this blog going if I didn’t get this much support and interests from you guys. I probably wouldn’t have been drawing so much either if I didn’t get compliments from friends irl and online. I knew this about myself and intentionally put my work out there to get encouragement, which I received. And in turns, I also learn how to listen to criticism in the process.


2. When you have multiple interests, pick something and get good at it.

Choose one to develop at the moment, or 2-3, if you need to switch like me. You don’t have to abandon other interests. You will have time to develop them later on. But for now, just pick something, anything. Roll a dice if you must.

I’m an advocate of the “T-shaped skills” concept—you can be a generalist in many things, but you must master at least one. While you’re trying to master that one thing, there’s no harm in trying out a bunch of other skills.

When people see that you’re very good at one thing, they tend to believe that you’re capable of being good at other things (sometimes even unrelated things). More opportunities will be offered to you if people recognize that you’re good at one thing.

For example, I’m a good UX designer and I’m somewhat known in the startup community in my city. I’ve been invited by tech event organizers to speak, even though I was shite at public speaking, they insisted that I try. I’ve been asked to advise on the business side of startups and asked to design logos, even when I told them that I’m no expert in these things. They’d insist that they want my opinions anyway because they saw the way I work and think through design.


3. If you aren’t interested in anything, try a lot of things.

Get yourself out there and try new things. Maybe you haven’t found what you really click with yet. Try a bunch of local classes and workshops, volunteer, learn about possibilities of things you can do.

You might already be interested in something, but society tells you that it’s not considered a hobby or a job. You love learning about any topics and could read Wikipedia for hours? That is a hobby. You might even want to get a job in research. You love playing games? Maybe you want to create one yourself and make it a really enjoyable experience because you know games so well. Or maybe you could make a build guide for your favorite RPG on youtube, and learn some digital marketing to get your channel more popular. There are more ways to do things than what people think is “acceptable”

Think of how you can spin things you like into something productive and sustainable. From examples above, playing games in itself won’t do much for you. But if you create a useful gaming guide for other people, coupled with some SEO skills, you can turn the hobby you love into a career you love. 


4. If you don’t know your goals, follow your mentors.

You probably already have people you admire in many areas of your life, whether it’s because of their career success, their skill expertise, their wisdom, or certain qualities they possess. List things you admire about these people. What kind of things make you want to be like them? Once you have this list, it can be your goal.

If you really don’t have anyone you admire, start looking for them. They don’t have to be people you know irl. They can be anyone from a celebrity, an inventor who’s long dead, someone in your family, or even a fictional character. You don’t have to like everything about that person for them to be your mentor. You just need aim for specific qualities that you admire in them.

In the beginning, study your mentors intensely and copy them. Once you’re proficient, adapt their techniques to your personality. I’ve been trying to improve my public speaking skill. There’s an older INTJ guy whose speaking style I think is very captivating. To learn from him, I watched at least 50 videos of him speaking in public to study his mannerism, his tone of voice, how he structured his scripts, where he added pauses—specific things contributing to his speaking style that captivates attention. Then, I’d try to use specific techniques I learn from him when I taught the university class, even the same phrases and analogies he used because of their clarity. After the 5-6 class, I started to get a hang of it and was able to adapt “his” style that I emulated to become more of my own, adding my own twists and personality into the way I talk.


5. Mastery takes grit—practice v.s. practice smart.

Many people say “I don’t like anything because I’m not good at anything.” Well, here’s some good news for you:

Talent is overrated. No one, I repeat, no one, is automatically good at anything. Maybe you have a natural inclination that gives you an advantage, e.g. you were born with a physique suitable to be a runner and you happen to like running. You might have a competitive advantage as a runner, but there’s absolutely no way you’d become good at running without years of training.

When you see other people and think they’re “talented,” you’re seeing the results of years of practice. What they don’t show you is the grind, the long hours, the years of crappy results but sticking with it.

That’s not to say, if you keep at it, you’ll get better. Repetition alone doesn’t work. You must practice smart. I also believe in the 80/20 rule. 20% of the things you normally do get you 80% of the results. If you’re trying to get better at playing piano, would playing your favorite song from start to finish repeatedly make you any better?

No.

You must target your weak points and attack it. Maybe your left little finger is weak and you can’t get the pressure you want. Do some Hanon exercises that focus on the little finger. Maybe you mess up a trill in a specific section half the time. Single out that section and practice it—don’t just play the whole song from start to finish.

I recommend watching Josh Kaufman talks about how it only takes 20 hours to become decent at something if you practice smart:

https://youtu.be/5MgBikgcWnY

6. Mastery takes sacrifice.

Everyone has the same amount of hours in a day. It’s up to you to choose what you do with your hours. It’s impossible to do everything and be everything in our lifetime, so choose wisely. It’s better that you proactively choose for yourself than let life choose for you, otherwise, you’ll look back in 10 years and hate where your life is heading.

Here are some examples from my experience:

  • I sacrifice going out with friends for working on my own company. I have friends who go out 2-3 times a week, and it’d have been fun if I go with them but that would mean much less time for things I want to accomplish. Instead, I actively set up a hangout session with this group once a month and truly spend quality time together talking or playing board games, rather than joining their usual bar-hopping routine.
  • I sacrifice job stability and consistent income for personal growth. I worked at a tech company and a design agency before, and both of them still want me back (I’m still in touch with former bosses from both), and it’d have been a nice and easy life to do what I love and have stability. But I know that I’d never be satisfied if I don’t try to make something out on my own from scratch.
  • I sacrifice comfort for opportunities. I’m a true introvert. I could stay in my apartment for a month straight, not talk to anyone, and be perfectly comfortable. But I’ve come to realize that I need to go out, make friends and connections so that I can find more opportunities to advance my career goals. It’s still difficult for me now, but I know to push myself to do it. Each time I see an event invitation, my first thought would be “urg, I need to wear pants, and put makeup, and take the subway full of people…” But now I know how important it is to make connections, going to events that are relevant to my goals usually win.
  • I sacrifice some friends for friends who push me to grow. There are many people I like and whom like me, but some of those people only want to hang out and talk about other friends’ lives, TV series, or complain about work. It makes a huge difference in my life to spend time with friends who love discussing big ideas, business opportunities, self-improvement, and learning. And I’d rather spend time with the latter than the former, even though I could get along with both groups.

7. Aim to create more than you consume.

Most people only consume—watch, read, listen, play music other people wrote, use contents that other people created. It’s easy to do this, and you can even learn a lot from consuming, but you won’t grow nearly as much as creating something.

Put something out into the world that’s not junk, e.g. not your selfies, photos of your pet, a rant blog, negative comments on other people’s contents.

Think of what you can contribute, and do it. If you’re reading my blog, you probably like MBTI. You could write an explanation post of your own, compile resources for people to learn from, or write about other aspects of personality psychology. You could even become MBTI certified and teach people irl. I see so many MBTI blogs where half of the content is telling other people that they’re mistyped and stupid. What use is that to yourself and other people?

Realistically, it’s extremely difficult to create more than you consume since you’d be sacrificing convenience and efficiency (i.e. you wouldn’t want to build your own phone from scratch instead of buying one), but you get what I mean when I say aim to create more.


8. Be proactive.

Don’t wait for people to feed knowledge and skills to you. We’re lucky to live in the digital age where pretty much everything can be searched in a few seconds—do it. Don’t wait to be taught in school, and don’t wait for answers.

I get so many asks about basic things that can be easily googled or search on my blog. I do not have time to answer every question I get, especially on things I wrote about before. I wonder if these people go ahead and google it themselves, or do they wait forever and never end up learning because they didn’t get a reply.

If you want to get better at something, be proactive in seeking knowledge. If you already have the skills to use the internet, you can learn and become anything you want.

-eilamona

[ My MBTI Merch ]

p.s. If there’s anything on this topic I still haven’t covered in this post or other posts I wrote before (search or look at my elaborate index), you can ask.

Awkward Admissions

Request: Hi , is it ok if you can do a gil imagine where the reader starts to avoid him bc she’s scared that he doesn’t like her bc she’s the daughter of Dr.Facilier (everyone is scared of him) but they end up together in the end? Please and thank you.

Warnings: None

Words: 1,013

A/N: I’m sorry if this isn’t that great, I think it turned out super cute though! I have to start getting ready for work but I wanted to get this finished up so the end might be a little rushed. I really hope that you like it though! 

It all started because of some stupid project for your Unnatural Biology class. You used to not give the dorky son of Gaston a second thought. But no, your father just had to make him your partner. At first, you didn’t think much of it, that was until you noticed Gil’s mannerisms changing when you were around him. He seemed fidgety, he wouldn’t look at you when he was talking to you, his answers were short and often curt.

This change saddened you because you have developed quite the crush on him; while you would never admit it to anyone or even to yourself. You thought the feelings would go away once the project was finished, but you found yourself looking to avoid the big loaf any chance you could.

“I don’t get it!” You exclaimed to your best friend, running your hands through your long hair which you had down. “He’s an idiot, why do I want to spend time with him?” You asked as you paced your bedroom, and your best friend, Ginny, laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Because you’re the idiot here. You like him.” Ginny told you as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder. “I can talk to him if you want.” She offered, smiling as she looked at you, just wanting you to be happy for once and she could tell this would do the trick, frowning in confusion when you shook your head.

“No…he doesn’t like me. I can tell he’s afraid of me. He’s never really been very talkative with me…I’ll get over it. I’ll just have to avoid him.” You decided, standing strong and then sighing. “Wanna get something to eat?” You asked, wanting to get your mind off the handsome idiot.

Over with Gil and the others, Gil was having a very similar conversation with Harry and Uma, Gil pacing the width of the ship as he talked. “I can’t do it, I can’t talk to her. She doesn’t like me, that much is obvious! She does everything she can to get away from me, she even had her seat moved so it’s further away from me in Unnatural Biology…what did I do wrong?” Gil pondered, frowning when he sat on the floor of the ship, and Harry sighed, patting his shoulder.

“You didn’t do anything, Gil. I think you should just talk to her if this is bothering you so much you should ask her what’s up.” Harry advised as he looked at his friend, sitting down next to him and looking at him. “Besides, I think it’s the opposite. I think she likes you, and she’s just too afraid to show it.”

Gil scoffed and rolled his eyes, not saying anything in response to Harry for a few minutes. “Do you really think so?” He asked finally, looking at his best friend and then sighing when he nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line. “If I come talk to her…will you come with me?” Gil asked, Gil never quite having been as smooth with the ladies as his father had been, so he needed the encouragement.

Harry laughed at Gil’s request, but nodded and stood up. “Aye, let’s go get your girl,” Harry said, silently hoping that he hadn’t been wrong. He didn’t want to get Gil’s hopes up and be wrong.

After searching for a good couple hours, Gil was about to give up when they happened to see you walking down the street, and Gil felt his heart race. “I can’t,” Gil said, starting to turn around and frowning when Harry called after the beautiful daughter of Dr. Facilier. “[Y/N] GIL WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!” Harry yelled, then he smirked when Gil glared. “Sorry, matey.” He said unapologetically.

Hearing that, part of you wanted to turn tail and run. But part of you wanted to go over there like the confident person you were and face your fears. But mostly you wanted to run, even though you didn’t. Instead, you raised an eyebrow at the voice, turning around and seeing the two boys arguing with each other silently, going over to them and giving a giggle. “Yes?” You asked, raising an eyebrow when Gil froze. “Is he okay?” You asked Harry, and Harry rolled his eyes.

“Gil, either you tell her or I do. And it won’t be near as sweet when I tell her.” Harry threatened, which peaked your interest.

“Tell me what?”

Gil gave a sigh as he continued to glare at Harry, his expression softening as he looked at you. Gil rubbed his neck awkwardly, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to think of what to say. Finally, he gave a frustrated sigh and gently grabbed your arm to pull you to the side, his soft brown eyes looking into yours.

“[Y/N]… I…” He trailed off, sighing as he looked over at Harry, then he turned his attention back to you. “I think you’re really pretty, and I want to know…do you like me? Wait no, I like you. Wait, no…yeah, do you like me? Because I mean, it seems like you don’t but Harry thinks that you do and I just don’t know.” Gil said, beginning to ramble on, which was honestly the most adorable thing in the world.

You began to laugh as he talked, which made him slowly stop talking after you calmed your laughter down, you felt your face heat up as you tried to think of how to word your own emotions.

Finally, you just decided to go simple. You were never good at expressing your emotions, why start now?

“Yes, you big loaf. I like you. Maybe too much…you mean you don’t hate me?” You asked him curiously, watching as a look of shock appeared on his face.

“Why would I hate you?”

“Well, I mean my dad…”

“Your dad isn’t you. Like I’m not my dad…go out with me?” Gil asked nervously, rubbing his arm awkwardly, to which you smiled and nodded.

“Just say when.”