ask-dave-egbert

3

EB: i’m apparently really good at not freezing.

TG: its not my fault you lived up in jack frosts asshole

EB: haha ew.

EB: maybe you’re just being a total wimp because your tiny baby texan body can’t handle anything below forty degrees.

First of all, ANON WHY ARE YOU SO NICE TO ME?? I’m assuming you are the same person since you message me a lot everyday, feel free to come off anon if you feel comfortable with it, I  feel obliged to thank you personally!!

To answer your ask, that’s impossible to choose one!! It changes every hour for me. I guess I have a soft spot for horror themes though? So at this particular hour, I’m feeling Horrorterror!Dave x John 

7

DAY 3: Confession or First Date

im a day late but !! not sure what this is,, might be a silent confession or something  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2

just two guys being dudes,,

7

JOHN: as for fighting, lately we’ve been tangoing with the dastardly midnight crew! 
JOHN: they’re not super tough, just relatively annoying. gang wars and shit.
JOHN: though, i have heard this super juicy rumor about crockercorp actually being evil! the batterwitch controlling the world under the guise of a sweet woman making shitty boxed baked goods.
JOHN: it’s a whole conspiracy i tell you!
DAVE: john no
DAVE: weve talked about this shit man–yeah crockercorp is evil but its like
DAVE: evil in the way disney is
DAVE: im pretty sure theyre more interested in makin a quick buck than they are in evil totalitarian world domination
DAVE: you feelin me here??
JOHN: no, i’m not feelin’ you here! they’re totally evil. end of story.
JOHN: also i’m known as the hammer and dave’s the knight!
JOHN: so chivalrous! 
DAVE: damn skippy

4

DAVE: yo man its getting pretty late i should probably get goin

JOHN: don’t you want to watch another movie or something?
JOHN: i could– i could make some popcorn up if you want.
JOHN or we could maybe walk to the gas station down the street and snag some more snacks??
DAVE: uh

DAVE: as much as id love to i really gotta bounce
JOHN: wait–

John and Dave are OFFLINE!