ask ufyh

Responding to a comment on another site

I don’t like to invade other Internet spaces to defend myself or UfYH when someone takes exception to the site, but I do like to address those criticisms. Like this one (I’m not identifying the source because I do not advocate invading other Internet spaces even in well-intentioned defense. I ask people to respect this space, and in turn I ask Team UfYH to respect other people’s spaces):

Well, I had hope, but…

I couldn’t help but notice that this blog is targeted at “single people and people without kids.” While she does talk a lot about depression, what do you do if:

You’re clinically depressed AND have health challenges and you have two special-needs kids (one bipolar, one autistic) that demand nearly all your time. And you are in the lifestyle so disdained by this blog, but your caring spouse has to work incredible hours to try to cover the ginormous medical bills you all incur?

And swearing prolifically at me is NOT going to mo[t]ivate me. If that were all it took, I would’ve had an immaculate house long ago.

So fuck them and the horse they rode in on. And I don’t say that lightly, either.

Point by point:

  • UfYH is not targeted at single people and people without kids; it’s acknowledging that they exist and that there’s a noticeable void in systems and support for those (and other) people. On the About page, this is the exact quote: “It [the realm of other housekeeping blogs] tends to ignore single people, or people without kids, or students, or people with pets, or people with roommates, or people with full-time jobs, or classes, or other shit going on. It assumes everyone is married with kids and one partner is around a lot of the time, and has a lot of time to devote to ‘housekeeping.’ Well, we don’t all live that life.” There are lots of married people and parents who follow UfYH.
  • I talk a lot about what to do if you’re depressed or chronically ill and have demands on your time. A lot. 20/10s. Do five minutes. Clear one surface. Put it away, not down. It’s all there.
  • I don’t disdain any lifestyle. I just acknowledge that there are a lot of different ones.
  • I don’t swear AT anyone. I use profanity, because that’s how I talk, but I don’t direct that language as a weapon toward people. I use it in the overall tone and voice of the blog.
  • As far as “fuck [me] and the horse [I] rode in on”? Everyone’s opinion is valid, and I know UfYH isn’t everyone’s cup of coffee, but swearing at me isn’t going to motivate me to make a better blog.

Keep reading

Blogkeeping: About “recommended blogs“:

I’m getting pretty frequent and angry asks about why UfYH shows up on people’s dashes as a recommended blog. I’m going to be 100% honest: I hate the recommended blog feature (and suggest a browser extension like New XKit to make it go away). If there were any way for me to opt out of being a recommended blog, I would do it in a heartbeat. I have no desire to invade people’s dashes uninvited.

Please know that the blogs that are showing up as part of that feature have nothing to do with it and would probably prefer their posts not be shared with random Tumblrs. (I’ve seen people’s selfies with just a few notes as recommended posts, and that doesn’t seem right to me.) I wish, just as much as you do, that you could just follow the blogs you’ve chosen to without posts you didn’t choose to see showing up on your dash.

ETA: It’s probably too much to hope that if any of my posts show up as “recommended,” it’s this one.

dirtywordplay-deactivated201605  asked:

We're about to gain a roommate, what cleaning routines should we establish to make this work best?

All sorts of stuff about roommates!

http://persephonemagazine.com/2014/05/ask-ufyh-roommate-negotiations/

http://www.xojane.com/relationships/what-to-do-when-you-live-with-a-slob

http://unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/post/20534295854/how-do-i-keep-the-place-clean-when-no-one-will-help

http://persephonemagazine.com/2013/09/ask-ufyh-roommate-sabotage/