ask rabastan

  • (in the common room, giving Rabastan a quiz from a Teen Girl magazine he "borrowed" from Andromeda)
  • Rodolphus: Your best friend borrows your lip gloss...(dramatic gasp) without asking!
  • Rabastan: (dramatic gasp)
  • Rodolphus: What do you do? A. Find a new best friend, B. Push her down a flight of stairs, or C....
  • Andromeda: What!? It doesn't say that!
  • Rodolphus: Well yeah, but I think it should definitely be an option!
  • Rabastan: I pick B....Down the stairs she goes!

“Hm?” Rabastan asked, looking up and instantly making a face when he realized what had been asked. “No, my phone’s broken again. Unfortunate collision with some cobblestones. Use your own.” 

kazbrekkerwrites  asked:

accio! dear rabastan, so my best friend went kinda psycho and killed this girl i was kinda into... what do i do?

CONUNDRUM MEME // Rabastan Lestrange

Ask for the character’s advice on something

Y’know I figured that was a uniquely me problem. You sure that’s what happened? The friend didn’t just get into a fight or something? Call this girl a bitch and come up with this story to impress you? If your convenient story is true then I’d figure out why your best friend decided to murder someone, since I’m positive the body’s not ‘gonna talk. They’re the only one you can help at this point, be a friend if you still want to see them that way. Don’t let them think you want them dead now–I mean cut them off. 

Wait –shit!  Did Rodolphus put you up to this to fuck with me?