Conversation prompt #4
Requested by @m-alycin “You forgot me…” “It was an accident”
Post IWTB drabble
I was halfway home when I realised. Realised why I had been plagued with a niggling feeling ever since exiting the grocery store that there was something I had forgotten. Mentally I had re-run the list of things I needed to pick up from town, checking and double checking before I finally just shrugged it off as being the product of a week of twelve hour nights at the hospital where I was the primary physician on call. Twelve hour shifts that had, more often than not, morphed into fourteen before I was able to drag myself home and collapse into bed after forcing down the breakfast Mulder insisted I eat to at least replenish some of the energy I was expending on a nightly basis.
He would then wake me up a couple of hours before I needed to be back at work, to give me time to shower and to give him time to force feed me some more.
It is a pattern that has repeated often during the five years or so since we finally deemed it safe enough to stop running, to find a way to exist in the constricted universe we had found ourselves in. It’s fair to say though that the transition was easier for me than it was for Mulder because as much as we both hated our transient lifestyle, at least back then he had a sense of purpose - to keep running; to keep us safe. That purpose was pretty much bled from him the moment we stopped and no matter how much we tried to dress it up, the house and grounds for Mulder became just another prison from which there was no escape.
It was just too much of a risk for him to be seen and so, during the hours of daylight he remained indoors, venturing out only when darkness had fallen to cloak the surrounding area, to take a run, to breathe in the fresh air or just to lay back in the long grasses that surrounded the farmhouse and find solace in the stars that twinkled to infinity above him.
Sometimes I would join him, but mostly I would simply allow him this time, to clear his mind and to feel, just for an hour or two that he was free. This complex man with his incredible mind who had been reduced to a common fugitive, denied a fair trial and forced to put on hold everything he had fought for over the previous decade to live a strange kind of half life where his old adage of trust no one took on a whole new level of terrifying; and despite everything I had sacrificed, there was never a moment where I regretted my decision to be with him because so much had been lost to me already that to lose him too was simply unimaginable.