ask karkat and egbert

Homestuck Smash Bros Headcanons

•Karkat would play dark sonic every single time because he’s black, spiky, and looks cool. He has no other reason. Karkat is not even good at this game, he loses first nearly every single time and it is entirely because he goes into the speedy ball and rolls off the stage immediately. He complains loudly every time this happens but refuses to play any other character.
•Dave aggressively mains as Zero Suit Samus, at first to be ironic because haha it’s a chick that looks like a Barbie, but he very quickly realizes that she’s a badass character and her whip is sick as fuck. He also targets Karkat almost exclusively just to hear him complain, Dave would be pretty good if he actually took it seriously though.
•Rose and Kanaya both play as Zelda, but Rose only plays as her usual form and Kanaya only plays as Sheik. Rose likes Zelda for her magical abilities, whereas Kanaya admires her for her impeccable fashion sense. It goes without saying that Rose makes her purple and Kanaya switches her to green.
•Jade plays as Olimar for no other reason than “he’s so cute!! And look at his little radish friends!!” But she completely demolishes in like, every single round. Everyone is tired of it. Olimar has no attacks how is she winning.
•John plays as (blue) Kirby because he loves dropping down on ppl as a brick or smashing them with that big ass hammer, mostly he goofs around with Dave to make a bunch of wackass stages that make it impossible to win in any conclusive way, including The Box™, a stage completely boxed in making it impossible to fly off once you get enough damage. They play for hours in one round, their damage is 999%, every hit sends them ricocheting from wall to wall endlessly.
•Additionally, when Jane plays she will fight John for the right to play blue Kirby because 1) he’s blue fuck you john and 2) his smash ball power is literally throwing all the other characters into a cooking pot if you think Jane will not bring it hard as hell you can eat my ass.
•Roxy plays as jigglypuff and makes it to the end of battles because she sustains literally zero damage. She spends all the time avoiding the fight by floating around in the air and singing her enemies to sleep if they get too close. Once it gets down to her and one other person tho she starts hitting buttons randomly and yelling and sitting on them while they’re playing just to do anything to keep them from winning.
•Callie doesn’t play very much, but when she does it as Toon Link because he’s small and green just like her!! And he looks like one of her drawings how cute!! Mostly though she’s perfectly content to just watch Roxy play and egg her on once she starts screeching.
•Dirk switches between Marth, bc of the swordplay, and Lucario, bc he’s a huge fucking furry. Both characters are actually really good and any game that has him, Dave, and Jade in it lasts literally forever because they’re all so good. Dirk gets v quiet while playing because he’s in The Zone.
•Jake is OK, but he’s far from on par w/ the others just because he’s not used to video games that have controllers as opposed to VR and obviously he would prefer good ol’ fashioned fisticuffs!! But when he does play it’s with Pit because of the annoying ass “hyahh!!” the character makes every time he attacks, “it shows he’s got real gumption!”
•Terezi plays as bright red yoshi and just keeps eating ppl. Just, swallowing them and putting them in eggs. She doesn’t do any fighting she just eats ppl and turns them into eggs, cackling the entire time and high-fiving Dave every time she lays another egg.
•SOLLUX IS NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY. every time they’re talking about smash and sollux walks in it goes DEAD SILENT. “Hey whatcha guys talking about” and whatever the first excuse is everyone is forced to go with it, Dave of course takes full advantage of this, “oh actually-” and if he finished the sentence before Karkat fucking tackles him then everyone is gonna have a bad time. But it’s because they all know Sollux will completely grasp the game within five seconds of just watching one round, crush everyone immediately and people actually enjoy when the rounds actually last longer than half a minute.

anonymous asked:

if dave and karkat were to get married how do you think that shit would go down

disgustingly emotional. the others have blackmail material for decades. john is in the front row making cute but snarky comments just loud enough to be overheard and then dramatically protesting when jade elbows him repeatedly. he only stops when jane grabs his ear and just. doesnt let go. oh but ofc shes still smiling, watching the ceremony. jake is in back recording the whole thing on his phone. dirk is the dj. just kidding roxy shoves him out of his chair and takes over immediately. kanaya is lowkey relieved she wont be the only troll to give in to the mysterious allure of human marriage after all. terezi and rose are snapping pictures and comparing/debating their usefuless wrt embarrassing the grooms later (terezis are all fuckin useless because she keeps licking the lens. its not her fault this shitty human technology cant capture her artistic merit) and callie is in the background wielding a familiar weapon, waiting for her chance to strike

anonymous asked:

So i know in SU certain fusions are more stable than others, like how Garnet is fused almost all the time whereas other fusions like Opal and Alexandrite can only stay fused for a few minutes. How long would davekat be able to stay fused?

anonymous asked:

Legendary. Abs. Deal with it.

These abs, you mean? Karkat plz. Just because John has a sizzling hot swimmer/superhero bod doesn’t mean you can just use him as your personal griddle wherever you go.

Idea was mine, execution was obviously the lovely and incredibly talented Jove-bluh. I know I’ve said it before, but I can’t get over Jove’s doodle style. It has a life all of its own, somewhere between just plain adorable and realism. I think it’s Jove’s wonderful shading that gives it such an elegant feel. Thank you, Jove!

-Sgt.

SPECIES-SWAPPED KIDS AND TROLLS

The trolls become humans and the humans become trolls! What sort of new lives could they be living now? Find out once you ask them (or not)!

KARKAT: CAN I TOUCH YOUR HORNS?

JOHN: touch me and you die.

——

The ask box has been completely wiped clear, ask these dummies some questions please!

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EXCUSE MY SHITTY TROLL AND HIS SHITTY TANGENTIAL RAPS. YOU GET USED TO THEM.

ahem

its called ALTERNIAN SLAM POETRY but hes right i do this all the time

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psst.. click the photos!!

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tawny-hero  asked:

Okay, so I went through about 50-something pages of your Homestuck tags and realized this: You had begun drawing out RMWT as fanart but then after awhile you ended up helping with the panels. Damn, how cool is that, becoming a fan then actually being able to help with the projects!? I guess I know the feeling because I got really exited when Raine had started talking with me. I ended up helping with some of her editing stuff for her fanfic (No Happily Ever Afters).

Thank you for going through my Homestuck tag and holy shit, you’re right, I have over 50 pages of HS stuff on my artblog. I hope you enjoyed going through them.

Yes, I did start out RMWT as a fellow reader and fanartist before being a panel artist and it’s HELLA AMAZING. senpai noticed me \;v;/ Thank you again to BR and Sgt for having me be a part of their fantastic story.

I totally get you. I nearly shit my pants when they started talking to me too. It was amazing

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((hey i really appreciate the ask, and your hc is super interesting, but im not that comfortable with drawing this sort of thing, so maybe next time you could ask a sickstuck blog instead. sorry :( i drew it this time b/c i dont have any other asks atm))