samsteve + "our friends half-heartedly set us up on a blind date and we sorta dislike each other. but we wanna get them back so we unite by pretending we're dating now" OTHERWISE KNOWN AS REVENGE FAKE!DATING (my two favorite concepts together--revenge and fake!dating)
IM SCREAMING OMFG
- bucky and natasha are convinced sam and steve are gonna click. like, 100%. “you’re gonna love him. hot. buff. really funny.” except, they completely DO NOT. steve thinks sam is too smug for his own good, and sam is irked bc he thinks steve is super fake. their group coffee outing kind of ends in a really heated argument about the state of politics overseas. bucky apologizes profusely to steve, who’s just mad that buck even thought he would like a guy like that–“how long have you known me, dude? what the fuck?” and sam complains to nat that “he’s the fakest guy i’ve ever met and i know SEVERAL models. why the fuck did you even give me his number, nat?” and she just kind of grimaces apologetically.
- EXCEPT NOW THEY BOTH HAVE EACH OTHERS NUMBERS AND ARE PETTY AS FUCK! so that night, because sam is still irked, he texts steve: “doubt u will be in2 this but what if we got ur friend bucky + natasha back 4 today” and steve almost immediately texts back “fuck yeah dude” and they determine that they’ll pretend to date and then have a DRAMATIC BREAK UP to make them feel bad for trying to interfere w/their personal lives. they schedule another ~group outing~ for that saturday. (the two of them get SO EXCITED when sam and steve tell them they’re trying the whole “dating” thing out. SO excited. it’s a little unnerving.)
- they get to the coffee shop early and determine their course of action. “so we’re gonna–we’re gonna hold hands, right? or like, sit next to each other.” “yeah, yeah. maybe be a little touchy. i don’t give a fuck as long as we don’t have to stick our tongues down each others’ throats for them.” “you’re not an exhibitionist, huh? no fun.” “don’t ruin this before it starts, rogers.” bucky and natasha get there a few minutes after, and steve squeezes next to sam so that they’re touching at almost every point. it would be fine if steve wasn’t so damn warm, because sam is starting to relax into the touch a little and it’s not–that’s not how this was supposed to go.
- they go out to dinner one night, the four of them, and while bucky and natasha go up to order their drinks from the bar, sam settles into his chair a little more. “hey. d’you think we should, like, hang out more?” steve raises an eyebrow at him. “what, like we like each other?” sam snorts and shakes his head. “nah, man, like–we should have pictures of us being together outside of just hanging out with these two. y’know?” steve pauses. “i mean, if you’re cool with it, that is.” after another beat of silence: “you’re right, wilson. what’re you doing tomorrow night?” the two of them look up as bucky and nat’s voices start to filter through the crowd, and sam grins, shakes his head. “hanging out with my boyfriend, i guess.” steve laughs and grabs his hand for show as their friends sit down opposite them.
- omf….they make dinner together at steve’s place (something simple, since neither of them want to put the effort in to make the other like them that much) and make sure to take a few pictures together. they actually…have fun? sam is surprised that steve makes him laugh this much. steve finds that he likes listening to sam talk and be genuine. they stay up late chit-chatting. sam falls asleep on his couch. steve doesn’t say anything, but drapes a blanket over him before heading to bed with a light feeling in his chest.
- they’ve kissed before–planned, of course, to let buck and nat know that things are going “well”–but the first time they kiss unplanned, it’s steve that initiates it. they’re casually grabbing coffee, as they usually do monday afternoons, and sam says something snarky to bucky. steve laughs so hard he almost falls off his chair, and sam keeps him steady so he doesn’t hit the floor. “careful, babe,” he says, rolling his eyes a little at steve, and steve grins quietly, nods, and then kisses him softly. (sam kisses back.) when they part, nat wolf-whistles a little, and steve’s face is BRIGHT red. sam realizes–shit. he might actually like steve.