ask a professional comedian

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Ask a Professional Comedian: Kristen Schaal

The amazing Kristen Schaal’s new stand-up special Live at The Fillmore premieres on Comedy Central this Monday night at 12am/11c, but first she’ll be answering your questions right here on our Tumblr.

You can start submitting questions to our Ask box now, but make sure you mention they’re for Kristen. Then, check back here tomorrow at 4pm EST / 1pm PST when she’ll be answering them live.

In the meantime, click here for a clip from Live at The Fillmore.

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Ask a Professional Comedian: Joe DeRosa and Pete Holmes

Tomorrow is going to be wall-to-wall comedian Q&As around here!

In addition to the already announced Ask a Professional Comedian with Erik Griffin, we’ve got Joe DeRosa, whose Half Hour premieres tomorrow night at 12:30a/11:30c, and Pete Holmes, whose new special, Nice Try, The Devil, premieres Sunday night at 11/10c.

Submit your questions here, but please let us know if they’re for Erik, Joe or Pete.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Ben Kronberg

Anonymous asked you:
What’s your favorite breakfast food?

I love Eggs Benedict or a croissant breakfast sammy.

Anonymous asked you:
I’ve been doing comedy for 2 years and never got approached by an agent or a manager, but I’ve headlined a major club before. What the hell is wrong with me?

I have an agent that doesn’t get me gigs. What the hell is wrong with me?

Anonymous asked you:
For Ben Kronberg: Is everyone a little bit racist?

Everyone is a liar. 

Anonymous asked you:
For Ben, if you weren’t doing stand-up what do you think you’d do?

Sitting down.

Anonymous asked you:
From your first open mic until now how long did it take you to get where you can fully support yourself without a day job?

8 years.

Anonymous asked you:
For Ben: where’s your favorite place to perform?

New York City.

Anonymous asked you:
how did you get started doing stand-up?

I started as a musician but wasn’t that good so I made my songs funny etc. etc. 

Anonymous asked you:
ben do you ever tweet jokes that you do on stage or vice versa?

Yes. All the time. Why would I not?

Anonymous asked you:
hi ben, what would your last meal be? A cheeseburger. Anonymous asked you:
Who is your favorite comedian right now? Me.

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That’ll do it for this installment of Ask a Professional Comedian. A sincere thanks to Ben Kronberg for taking questions and to all of you who sent them in.

The Half Hour: Ben Kronberg premieres tonight at 12:30a/11:30c, right after The Half Hour: Andy Haynes.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Baron Vaughn

Anonymous asked you:
Question for Baron V: Do you remember the first joke you wrote or the first one you did on stage??

First joke I wrote on stage is different than the first joke I wrote. Usually you write them offstage and then go on stage. What’s that? My specificity is obnoxious? Okay then. I wrote jokes long before I performed them. First joke I wrote was probably some gurgles followed by me shitting myself. My parents laughed. 

Anonymous asked you:
Hey Baron, got any stories from the set of Arrested Development?

Jeffrey Tambor is THE NICEST MAN EVER. Treated me as an equal even though I had 3 lines. Speaking of 3, my scenes kept getting pushed back, but because I was on the call sheet I got 3 days of pay. Thanks unions! Mitch Hurwitz also reminds me of my good friend Myq Kaplan.

Anonymous asked you:
Baron: What’s the best advice you ever got from another comic?

“You need to think about how your act reveals your morality.” That was Rick Overton.

“Moment I stopped caring about bombing is when I started to get good.” That was Patrice O'Neal.

Anonymous asked you:
Baron, what’s the worst you ever bombed???

Some one-nighter in Jersey. I was supposed to MC and do 10 at the top and because I was doing so poorly I stepped into a time warp and ended up rambling for 30 minutes trying to get ONE laugh. Luckily the other comics were pros and recovered the show from my misery.

Anonymous asked you:
baron vaughn: what would you be doing if your weren’t a comedian?

I’d be the coolest middle school substitute teacher the state of Idaho has ever seen.

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That’s all for this edition of Ask a Professional Comedian. A big thanks to Baron Vaughn and everyone who sent in questions!

Don’t miss The Half Hour: Baron Vaughn tonight at 12am/11c, followed by The Half Hour: Sean Patton.

UPDATE (2/22, 5pm EST): Thanks to everyone who sent in questions!

UPDATE (2/22, 2:14pm EST): Our Ask a Professional Comedian with Nathan Fielder is happening right now! Click here to follow along and click here to submit your own questions and insults for Nathan.

Ask/Hurt a Professional Comedian: Nathan Fielder

Nathan Fielder is coming to Comedy Central February 28 as the star of our new reality series, Nathan For You, and this Friday he’ll be taking your questions. But for this installment of Ask a Professional Comedian, there’s a twist.

In addition to questions, you can also send insults to Nathan via our Ask box. As we mentioned last week, if you manage to actually hurt Nathan’s feelings, he will PayPal you $50!

Start submitting your questions and insults now (be sure to mention they’re for Nathan) and check back here Friday for Nathan’s responses. In the meantime, you can watch the full premiere episode of Nathan For You here.

(Pictured: Me, the Beastie Boys and The Robot when the Beasties did Chappelle for the aborted 3rd season.)

Anonymous asked you:
The rumors were u and Dave chappelle had a falling out. Is this true and if so are u guys good now?

We had a massive public falling out. But we’re cool now. Ultimately we were friends for a reason. We just agree to disagree about a few things.

williamharrah asked you:
Is there a way to figure out what jokes translate better either for stand up or sketch comedy?

There’s no way to know, other than logistic…like, can I explain this in a funny way and play all the parts myself? Then it could work for stand-up. If not, it’s probably better as a sketch. And then some ideas just stink for both.

hatingsince87 asked you:
Not sure if it’s been explained yet but how exactly did The Champs Podcast come together? It’s consistently one of the most hilarious podcasts out there today. Thanks for all the laughs. #StayFuxinWitTheChamps PS: Maybe get Chappelle on there?

I did Rogan’s podcast and he said that doing it was the best thing he ever did for his career in terms of getting people to come see him do stand-up. I did a show with Douggpound, thought he was funny and Moshe was working at the Comedy Store a lot and I thought he was funny too and had a somewhat similar experience to me in terms of black dudes, so we went with the all black guest angle. Chappelle listened to the Questlove episode and really liked it, so maybe. But Dave’s a bit behind in terms of stuff like that. He doesn’t see the point of doing a podcast. Doesn’t understand that for someone like me, it can be very good exposure. He’s had about as much exposure as a human being can have.

Anonymous asked you:
On stage, how do you mentally approach capturing audience attention without the audience mentally boxing you into your previous work?

I don’t really think about my previous work too much in terms of doing stand-up. Either they were fans of Chappelle’s Show and they’re predisposed to like me or in some rare instances, they read somewhere Dave was mad at me and they’re predisposed to not like me. It’s way more the former than the latter.

But I don’t consciously try to write stuff that Chappelle fans will like. The show contained a lot of my interests and POV anyhow, and they really haven’t changed. I would assume i’ll spend my whole life talking about race, girls, politics and culture. That’s what both my stand-up and Chappelle’s Show boiled down to because that’s what I’m compelled to talk about. As is Dave. It’s why we were friends and partners in the first place.

Anonymous asked you:
When can we expect more skits, you are obviously one of the best. The Hoochie Chiropractor was gold.

Thanks. I’m working on some stuff. Stay tuned.

-Neal Brennan

Submit your questions for Neal Brennan here. Neal Brennan: The Half Hour premieres Friday at 11:30/10:30c.

(Pictured: Me, Giraldo and Chappelle in 1997ish)

Anonymous asked you:
Ur twitter is awesome, do u worry ur wasting stand up material on us fucks? I’m a lowly open mic comic and even I worry about that. cheers @lesterdiamond28

Call me old fashioned, but I don’t see any audience seeing my comedy as “fucks.” Also, I can still do it in my stand-up if I did it on twitter. In fact, I have a few jokes in my act now that started as tweets. Even if you have a lot of followers, only a handful of people see each tweet, so it’s not that big a deal, you fuck.

askkneesockssan asked you:
Neal: What was your biggest arguing point during your time working with Mr. Chappelle, if you two had any at all? He always painted your relationship rather well.

The biggest arguing points were more about logistics: him being late all the time or procrastinating to the point of danger. Also, he went to Africa there at the end. That was a pretty big arguing point. Matter of fact, we didn’t even talk for a few years after that, it was such a big arguing point.

Anonymous asked you:
Ever Meet the late comedian Greg Giraldo?

I knew Greg from the time he did open mics. Gonna find a picture from the time we was all young…hold on.

-Neal Brennan

Submit your questions for Neal Brennan here. Neal Brennan: The Half Hour premieres Friday at 11:30/10:30c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Joe Rogan

Before Joe Rogan’s new stand-up special “Live from the Tabernacle" premieres Friday night at 12a/11c, he’ll be answering your questions right here on our tumblr. 

Submit your questions to our Ask Us Anything box (be sure to mention they’re for Joe), then check back here for Joe’s answers tomorrow morning at 11:30 EST. You can even ask them anonymously, like you’re in a middle school health class. 

In the meantime, click here for a preview of "Live from the Tabernacle.”

Ask a Professional Comedian: Walter Latham and Michael Blackson

Walter Latham is the man behind The Original Kings of Comedy and the Queens of Comedy, and this Sunday night at 12:30am/11:30c he’s bringing Comedy After Dark to Comedy Central.

But first, Walter and Comedy After Dark headliner Michael Blackson will be answering your questions tomorrow right here on Tumblr.

You can start submitting questions now, but be sure to specify if they’re for Walter or Michael.

In the meantime, click the gif for a clip from Comedy After Dark.

Anonymous asked you:
Nikki Glaser, who are your comedy idols?

Amy Schumer, Dave Attell, Julia Louis Dreyfus 

Anonymous asked you:
Question for Nikki: What’s the weirdest place you ever did stand-up?

Two years into stand-up, I was booked to perform at a “Women in Cable” conference. I was so nervous that I got drunk on champagne and was “highly inappropriate for the event”. 

Anonymous asked you:
Nikki Glaser, which musician would you most like to see try stand-up?

Definitely none. 

Anonymous asked you:
Nikki Glaser: is there a bit that another comedian does that you wish was yours?

All the time. I envy the way Jim Gaffigan can dissect a subject so thoroughly until there are no more jokes on that subject left. 

Anonymous asked you:
Nikki, when and why did you decide to get into comedy?

My freshman year of college, people kept telling me I should be a comedian. I had never considered it before. So I started watching more of it. Then I discovered Sarah Silverman and Wendy Liebman, and I wanted IN. I did one show and called my dad right after and told him “I want to quit school and be a comedian.” I knew right away. Now I’m not so sure.

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Thanks so much to Nikki Glaser for participating today and to all of you who submitted questions!

Don’t forget to watch The Half Hour: Nikki Glaser, tonight at 12:30am/11:30c after The Half Hour: Dan Soder.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Steve Rannazzisi

Steve Rannazzisi’s new stand-up special “Manchild” premieres Saturday night at 12a/11c, but tomorrow morning, he’s going to be answering your questions here on our Tumblr.

Submit your questions to our Ask box now, and be sure to mention they’re for Steve.

Meanwhile, click here for an uncensored clip from “Manchild.”

Anonymous asked you:
Dan, when is your birthday?

Why you trying to steal my identity? It’s June 24th 1983

Anonymous asked you:
Dan, what type of girl are you going to marry

Hopefully a girl with a great sense of humor, who is a good person, and also isn’t bad to look at. I’m a big fan of brunettes. But honestly, I have no idea who I’ll end up with.

Anonymous asked you:
For Dan Soder: is there any bit that you didn’t get to do for your special?

There was one bit about children being born now that I didn’t get to do. So now I’ll just try to make it better and get it on something else.

Anonymous asked you:
Dan, Which comedian would you call to bail you out of jail?

If I were in jail I would call, in order, Nate Bargatze, Joe List, then Bobby Kelly. I would just be afraid Bobby would scold me for whatever dumb thing I did to land in jail.

Anonymous asked you:
question for Dan Soder: If you weren’t doing stand-up, what would you be doing?

If I weren’t doing stand up I would probably be living in Denver doing something, what that is I have no idea. More then likely I’d be working in radio, I did it before stand up and it was a lot of fun.

- - -

Dan Soder’s Half Hour special airs tonight at midnight/11c, but right now he’s answering your questions. Submit them here.

jasontodd-needshelp asked you:
Hey, Nathan, did any of the businesses you “helped” show any gratitude?? Also, if you could install anyone to be next Pope, who would you go with (i think they may need help choosing one)?

I helped a taxi company that really liked my idea. Also a funeral home owner gives me a gift after I force her to give me one. That counts, right?

Anonymous asked you:
Did you really eat poo flavored yogurt? How come some people say poo and some people say poop?

I did try the poo yogurt. It did not taste good. 

I don’t know why some people say poo and others say poop. I’ve always said poo for poo and pee for pee. As opposed to poop and peep. 

Anonymous asked you:
Hey, what’s the deal with Canada anyway?

Come on, dude. 

Anonymous asked you:
Whats yr advice for an aspiring comedy reality TV star??

That’s a terrible aspiration. But if I had to give advice I’d say just walk around Los Angeles being really dumb and maybe someone will give you a show. 

schmelliott asked you:
You were on the “…Has A Van Show”? Please defy the odds and stay on for more than a season. I beliebe in you.

Thanks man, I’ll try my best. 

Anonymous asked you:
Which insult has come the closest to hurting your feelings?

There was one guy who called my twitter challenge pathetic. I forget the exact words he used… it didn’t hurt me but it seemed like that was in the right direction. But now so many people have tried something like that so I’m numb to it. 

- - -

That’s it for this installment of Ask/Hurt a Professional Comedian. Many thanks to Nathan Fielder for participating and to all of you who sent in questions and insults.

If you want to keep trying to hurt Nathan’s feelings, head over to twitter and tweet your insults to @NathanFielder with the hashtag #HurtNathan. If you hurt his feelings for real, he’ll PayPal you $50!

Don’t forget, Nathan For You premieres Thursday at 10:30/9:30c after the series premiere of The Ben Show, but you can watch the full episode  online now!

Ask a Professional Comedian: Pete Holmes

isaidgoodpeacock asked you:
For Petey (can I call you Petey? Sorry,) I mean Mr. Holmes: Is there a way I can have brunch with you? No? Can I make it for you then? How do you like your eggs? -Emily (one of your tumblr sister-wives)

Yes. If you ever see me at brunch with Chelsea, please rescue me from her unending onslaught of hilarious insults. I much prefer the company of a gaggle of Tumblr sister wives, and she hates when fans say hello to me because she can see how much I love it. So yes.

midnitelite asked you:
For Pete: How do you think your comedy style has changed between this special and your last CD?

Hopefully it’s still all coming from a silly, fun place, but the content has evolved and matured because my life has evolved and matured. So there’s topics covered in NTTD that just weren’t in my life when I recorded Impregnated With Wonder. This special was written while I was single for the first time in my life, so dealing with the challenges of that (and the joys of that – I don’t think I could’ve performed a joke like “I hate my girlfriend’s friends” if I had a girlfriend, you know? Unless she was reaaaaaaally understanding and drunk most of the time) – the topics are a little deeper I suppose (coping with being alone, trying to learn how to impress women by acting like Gosling), but it’s still coming from the perspective of a lumbering goofus.

Anonymous asked you:
For Pete: Are you aware of the sisterwives coalition you have on Tumblr? We are a proud lot. And we love you.

Would you think less of me if I said that I was very much aware of you guys and that it makes me happy? I hope not. Who doesn’t like to be loved on? :)

casanovajones asked you:
This is for good ole Petey Pants: Pubic hair: shaved, trimmed or jungle?

Trim that shit! It’s not just for ladies anymore. Fellas, you can’t have six-inch Tim-Burton-Sleepy-Hollow-tree-limb pubes jetting out all willy nilly if you except anyone to enjoy their time in the bone zone. You don’t have to go to a spa or anything. Just sciss that shiz. Or a small, controlled fire, if you’re a badass.

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That’s going to do it for our third and final Q&A of the day. A big sincere thanks to Pete Holmes for doing this and to everyone out there who sent in questions.

Pete Holmes: Nice Try, The Devil premieres Sunday at 11/10c.

Ask a Professional Comedian: Chris D'Elia

Chris D'Elia’s brand new stand-up special White Male. Black Comic. premieres tomorrow night at midnight/11c. But first he’ll be answering fan questions here on our Tumblr.

Submit your questions to our Ask box (be sure to mention they’re for Chris), then look for Chris’s answers tomorrow.

In the meantime, click here for a clip from White Male. Black Comic.