asinine text posts

what if: a site that is just lists and lists and links to scripts for for every single social interaction that you should be able to perform but can’t actually

asking for extensions! scheduling appointments! making small talk–okay maybe not that last one, if you use a script for small talk you will probably end up sounding like a douchebag

explaining tim lincecum’s tragic freefall, fanfiction-style:

  • alien puberty
  • alien heat (“for two and a half years?” are you kidding, says ink, have you never been in fandom or are you just asking that to seem smart)
  • is some sort of higher being; mortal form slowly breaking down in preparation for his return
  • cursed by some sort of God Council from On High, because, against all edicts, he fell in love
  • cursed by the los angeles dodgers, who naturally have ties to dangerous criminals in the magical underworld
  • being slowly possessed by demons. he is their Chosen One, the one who will open their gateway to the mortal world. they will devour him slowly and painfully, with lots of excruciatingly described hallucinations, until there is nothing left, and then they will come for us. [booming announcer voice] only twenty-five men can stop them
  • they said they’d leave everything on the field for one another. now, when the stakes are at their highest, can they live up to that promise
  • … look okay i just have this mental image of gregor blanco or someone frantically scrambling for the shotgun in the back of bum’s pickup while tim lincecum writhes on the ground with black mist pouring out of his mouth
  • in the darkest timeline, buster posey never recovered from his ankle injury. tim lincecum made a desperate bargain to prevent that timeline from coming to pass, and has carried the burden alone ever since
  • soulbonding.
  • soulbonding to buster posey
  • soulbonding to hector sanchez
  • soulbonding to barry zi–okay, you know what, you get the point
  • in the end, all pitchers are like rose brides.

i like. pairings where the people involved clearly LIKE one another and are happy together and like. make one another happy?? i like to have pathos and conflict and a sense of sweep, of import in my ships but like. hmm. i remember a conversation on tumblr about elementary and how different and positive its portrayal of relationships was even though there's lots of interpersonal conflict in elementary, it’s all about relationships, and i think there is a palpable difference between someone writing a story about imperfect people navigating how to relate to one another and someone writing a story about people continually trying not to fuck up their own relationships, and that difference is palpable in the telling.

ao3 is not “fandom”

AO3 IS NOT “FANDOM”

AO3 IS NOT

FUCKING

“FANDOM”

ao3 is a limited cross-section of the past four or so years of fic production, skewed heavily toward so-called “western media fandom,” primarily reflecting its tastes, trends, and practices, not remotely representative of fandom as a whole

which is to say

before you start pontificating about that one godforsaken popular pairings survey perhaps you should consider that your bubble is not nearly as big as you think it is

LADYSTUCK EMERGENCY PINCH-HITS

please signal boost this? these are all due at midnight CST the 9th but i can give you part or all of the 10th if you are absolutely sure you will be able to finish

Pinch Hit #31 (Serkets in all incarnations, Meenah/Aranea or Meenah/Vriska, Scourgecest, Jane)

Pinch Hit #32 (Kanaya/various, including VrisKan and Maryamcest; Rose/Vriska)

Pinch Hit #33 (Rose & Roxy, alpha girls+Calliope, Scourge)

ETA2– ALL COVERED for the moment, thank you!

my father earnestly and sincerely believes that eventually the technological revolution and its ensuing widening of the class gap will precipitate actual revolution and eventually lead to a robot communist utopia where all the jobs are taken care of by machines and we are free to pursue whatever activities we like at our leisure

this is, so far, the only vision of communism that incites in me an emotion other than disquieting skepticism and i don’t know what that says about me

So as some of you may know, we recently switched internet providers. As a result, our wireless is now … well, slow. So slow. “I type a message on Skype and it takes five seconds to send” slow. My brother, who just turned seventeen and who loves Youtube videos, MMOs, and god knows what else, was obviously not going to stand for this for long. His solution: he ran an Ethernet cable from the new modem to his usual spot in our study.

More specifically, he ran a hundred-foot Ethernet cable from the back corner of our house, up the entertainment center, onto the second floor of the house, and into the study on the literal other end of the house.

That’s right. This cable now spans the entire length of our house, front to back.

PS: I asked him how much the cable cost. He said $25.

I’m considering it.