I’m a Jamaican girl of African/Chinese descent living in China, and let me tell you… I’ve been on the receiving end of a host of irritating comments from people back home (In JA). “Do you eat dog?”, “So… is your vagina diagonal (apparently bc I’m mixed, not fully Chinese)?”, “Yeah you’re definitely Asian, you have no ass”, “Oh it’s a black people thing, you wouldn’t understand…”
Now, back home most Chinese people are very very united, the families know each other and get together for important holidays or smaller activities like badminton games etc. My family was never a part of that, since my dad, though Chinese, is Rastafarian and my mom is Black. I was also very aware of the fact that I looked rather different from fully-Chinese families. And while at school I was being called “Chiney gyal” and made to feel like I wasn’t a regular Jamaican, at home I was being taught NOTHING about that side of myself. As I got older I began to deny my Chinese heritage, if only to get people to shut up about it. A small part of me was also disappointed that I wasn’t actually connected to those roots, and decided to deny them altogether.
Anyhow, last year I moved to China to start university. I was kinda excited to come here, thinking maybe I would fit in a little better than I did back home. Boy, was I ever WRONG. Most foreigners who’ve been to China know, the locals STARE at you incessantly, like you’re some kind of zoo animal. Most are fascinated by anyone who looks so different, since their population is mostly Han people, or so I’ve read, but some of them really look down on anyone with darker skin. Anyways, I basically get called African here, I don’t even bother telling the few English speakers I’ve come across that I’m actually Jamaican and half-Chinese (funny how I wanted to clarify this time around, huh?).
As it turns out, I probably won’t be fully accepted anywhere. But realising this has made me decide that it doesn’t make me an incomplete person and that what I really need is to accept myself. It took me a while, but I’m glad I have. It’s not easy to erase the insecurities I’ve harboured over the years, but little by little I’m working on it.
I don’t need other people assigning stereotypical characteristics to me, nor do I need validation from others to decide what race I do or do not belong to. I am both Chinese and Black and I will never deny any part of my heritage just to fit in again.
Its Asian Face Appreciation Day. I’m Filipino and Chinese. Wasssup. Born and Raised in the U.S, first generation of naturalized american citizen in my family (and the only one so far). I like make up, unnatural hair color, and bands/artists that make me feel unwillingly pretentious. I’m grey-ace and polysexual/polyromantic. I may like you if you aren’t a butt. Also I should be coming out with an LP soon so if I do that successfully pls give it a listen. I’m asian. Appreciate me.
While I was teaching English in Taiwan one of my students came up to me and told me I was too dark. Literally translated she told me that I was too black. I was crushed - not because she did not approve of my skin - but because she had been conditioned to think that whiter is better.
And that, my friends, is not true.
All over Asia there are billboards for face whitening creams and double eyelid surgery. Where are my dark female leads in entertainment? Where are my south east Asian politicians in historically white places? You best believe we’re here and coming up fast so better not be surprised when your boss/president/idol looks a little like us!
Happy Asian Face Appreciation Day - and never apologize for who you are. <3
Bi, sex worker, mixed Thai + white. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out where I belong across multiple marginalized communities, and I’m still working on it. But it’s so much better once you learn to be unapologetic about who you are. All my other angry Asian girls, you’re gorgeous and strong and wonderful. Keep rockin and don’t let anyone give you shit.
There were some white people looking at me weird on the subway and I’m pretty sure it was cause my lipstick threw them off. I texted my friend saying, “I think I’m scaring the white people.” Her reply? “Slay the white people.”