Highly requested, this is way long overdue. But I’m back and healthy and happy. Can’t wait to write more for you guys. Enjoy. 123 . Masterlist in my bio.
Chapter based on this quote: “How am I suppose to go back when I know you have already replaced me…”
I fucked up.
I left her.
I told her I didn’t love her, and steered her into the wrong guys arms.
It hurt my chest and made my lungs collapse picturing them in my head, in the same bed, Ashton hovering above her. The look on her face got me the most. Not even the fact that Ashton was close to cumming inside of her. Her eyes shot out of her head with visible veins showing through. Her shoulders tensed underneath Ashton’s arms, her collarbones becoming more prominent in fear. Her face began to show both colors of blue and red, from being embarrassed and from holding her breathe too long. It broke me, seeing her broken.
And now I stand, at 3 am outside the hotel building, with a lit cigarette in hand, and the cold wind creating dry patches and red marks on my face. The smoke blew seamlessly into the night time air, creating swirls for me to watch and keep my mind off of the situation. I took one too many puffs, one after the other, the swelling feeling in my throat becoming too much to take in, causing me to starting coughing loudly. The smoke scratched at my lungs each time I coughed, tears now forming in my eyes painfully. As my hand came up to my chest as a gesture, someone’s voice in front of me interrupted.
“You need some help?” It was calm. Raspy. Quiet. I immediately dropped my cigarette and stomped it out with my toes, then wiped my now red eyes. She was wearing a flannel that had the first two buttons undone, some baggy sweatpants, and her hair pulled into a truly messy bun. Not the cute ones most girls wore to give them the ‘natural’ look, but more of a bun where you couldn’t tell where strands ended or started, they all just stuck out everywhere ready to collapse. Her arms were crossed, and I looked straight into her eyes. They were droopy, with light bags forming underneath them. She had been crying, a lot I assumed from how red her cheeks were. But then again, maybe it was just the cold.
I gathered my strength and leaned back against the building, putting my hands deep into my pockets. “Not from you no.”
“Calum, don’t shut me out again. Please…let me talk…” She whispered with a cracking voice. She stepped forward coming closer to me, and my body’s first reaction was to back up even further against the wall, but no amount of energy I had could do that. I had to stand there defensively and stomach enough courage to hear her out.
“You fucked Ashton. You fucked my best friend. You fucked my roommate, my band mate. My brother.” I tried to stare anywhere else but directly in front me. Or else I’d get lost in those big orbs of light brown that captured my attention flawlessly. “You left me that day in my apartment, in nothing but my underwear, telling me that you didn’t love me. All you keep doing, is hurting me. You’re trying so hard to fight and fix us but Y/N…there was nothing else to fix. There was nothing there for us to mend and put back together. Like you said, all we are is fuck buddies.” I tried to push past her, but the sound of her pleading voice made me stop before I reached the hotel door.
“I’ll let you go.”
I turned around stunned, but it didn’t show on my face. I only ran a hand threw what little hair I had, in frustration. Hearing those words was even more painful than seeing her in pleasure that was caused by my best friend. Because this meant that Y/N and I were completely over. That there was no hope left for us. That we were utterly, and painfully, ruined.
“I didn’t come down here to win you back, or say I love you and kiss you and make everything better. That’s not realistic Calum.” I could tell it was breaking her to say these words to me. She wiped a few tears before speaking again. “I realized about an hour ago that we’re both messed up people with none of our shit figured out. If we did, then we’d be together right now. Not friends with benefits, not just someone we call to fuck and then leave. We’d be peacefully falling asleep together at night, and waking up to our morning breathes at 8 am.” I slightly scuffed at her comment. “I mean, shit it took me one month of pure heart break and loneliness without you to realize that I loved you, and you were perfectly happy and moved on. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you Calum. All you ever did was make me happy. Sure, it stings. It hurts. It really really fucking makes me sick. But when you love someone, you realize that their own needs come before your own.” She walked towards me slowly, reaching her hand down to intertwined with mine. I didn’t stop it, but only looked down at the ground, squeezing as hard as I could. This would be the last time I’d get to ever hold this hand, a hand I held for reassurance and guidance, for closeness and protection.
She softly smiled, but it was a sad one. She knew she was leaving me for good.
“I knew I was going to need to leave you sooner or later. I just always hoped that that wouldn’t be an option anymore. There’s was always a glimmer of hope in me that said we’d make it. That no matter what, we’d get through whatever we were going through. But I was wrong.” Her lip started quivering, built up hot tears dragging down her swollen cheeks. I clenched my fist to stop me from wiping them off of her face.
“This is what’s best Calum. No more sneaking around, no more running off to be with each other, no more intimacy. We both have someone waiting for us in this hotel, someone who could potentially be very good for us. I don’t want you wasting your time on me, when she deserves so much better from you.” She reached up to kiss my cheek softly. I bit my lip and looked the other direction as she pulled away. This was it. No going back, no do over’s.
“I love you Calum.” She whispered, and disconnected herself from me, pulling open the hotel doors and sliding in to get to the elevators. I didn’t watch her. Knowing me, I would’ve ran and grabbed her to stop her.
5 minutes later I walked into Ashton’s hotel room again, baby snores escaping his lips. I stood propped up on the bedroom door frame, watching admiringly. He heard the floor creak and lifted his head up slowly, his eyes struggling to open.
“Go back to bed big guy, I’m joining you.”
I walked into my hotel room with her quietly sitting on the bed flipping through TV channels. She gave me a small smile before turning her attention back on the screen. Clearly we’d be having a talk about this in a few hours, but right now all we cared about getting the most amount of sleep possible before being woken up to hit up the next venue.
I shrugged off my shirt before climbing into bed with her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. If I wrapped around her waist, it’d be too much of a familiar feeling.
Neither Y/N nor Calum felt completely comfortable and safe with the other person they were in bed with. Sadly, they were settling. That is…for now at least.
This was kind of a shit chapter for being back after weeks so I’m very sorry. Message or inbox me ideas you’d like to see if you guys would like a part 5!
a/n: this is really late and pretty short but i wrote this for @whyashton because it was her birthday on the 8th!!
Your grip on Ashton’s arm tightens as you approach the bar, trying not to squirm as you pass all of the women eyeing up Ashton like children in a toy store. You couldn’t blame them for staring, he looked drop-dead gorgeous tonight, but that didn’t stop you from feeling a hint of jealousy. Ashton glances down at you, noticing your slightly miffed look, and winks at you which immediately eases your nerves and causes you to loosen up a bit.
He orders a whiskey for himself and a glass of red wine for you, looking at you over the rim of his cup as he takes a sip of his drink. He watches you as you glance around the room, your eyes slightly narrowing when you see a few girls still ogling Ashton, and he can’t help but chuckle when you step slightly closer to him. He drags his fingers down your arm, goosebumps rising as you turn to look at him when he takes your hand in his. “Relax, baby, I’m not going anywhere,” Ashton mumbles as he brings your hand up to softly kiss the back of it.
You nod and take another sip of wine, the both of you quietly nursing your drinks together as the rest of the people at the wedding reception rush around you in a flurry of excitement and slight intoxication. You take this time to really look at Ashton, your eyes roaming all over him, from the black shirt and red velvet bowtie on his torso to the silver rings adorning his fingers as they curl around the glass. You could barely keep your hands off of him when he emerged from the bathroom earlier that night, his outfit almost causing the two of you to be late to the reception (although he blames that on you and the dress you chose to wear that night).
“My eyes are up here, sweetheart,” Ashton teases you as he tugs at your hand to bring you out of your reverie. You roll your eyes and place your hand on his chest to lightly shove him, your face heating up when he catches your hand just as you’re about to draw it away and keeps it over his heart. “Let’s go dance, baby,” he whispers excitedly, a crooked smile on his face as you shake your head but let him pull you towards the dance floor anyways.
He takes your hand in his, placing his other hand on your lower back as you place your other on his shoulder. The two of you dance along to the song, both of your hands taking his as the jazz song speeds up. A smile makes its way across your face as he sings along, gliding you across the floor with as much grace as he can muster in a crowded dance floor. As the two of you dance together, the moon decides to make an appearance through the clouds, its light shining right on you and making you look like even more of a goddess than you already do. And in that moment, when Ashton spins you back towards him with the moonlight glowing around you, he swears that he can see stars in your eyes.
Summary : your boyfriend Ashton is drunk and he and his friends think it’s funny to joke around until Ashton takes it to far and he tries to apologize.
Word count : 2091
Warnings : fighting, minimal cursing, fluff at the end.
A/N : I feel like this is really shitty writing, but then again all my writing is so yeah. But enjoy anyways. :))
Your boyfriend and your friends, Michael, Luke, and Calum finally had a day off from recording and talking to the press, so you all decided to go out clubbing. They had all ordered beers and shots, while you ordered a Margarita with extra tequila.
The guys joked around, making fun of each other and occasionally pointing out how hot some of the girls were. Ashton kept his arm wrapped around your waist the entire time, making sure that every man in the room knew you were his. You took a sip of your drink, listening in on their conversations.
“Dude, there is no way in hell that that girl over there would ever bang you.” Calum laughs as Michael had thought that a skinny, blonde in a tight pink dress would get with him. He frowned, putting his drink down and marching over to her. They talked for a few minutes before he came back with a napkin and smug look on his face.
“Ha, just got her number. Suck it Calum.” You chuckled at their childish behavior, but then again they were a bit tipsy and drunk.
“Wouldn’t you rather have Barbie over there suck it for you?” You laugh and Cal and Luke join you. He rolls his eyes and takes a long swig of his beer.
“Oh come on babe, you’re just jealous because you can’t wear a dress like that.” You nearly choke on your drink as you can’t even believe what your boyfriend had just said to you. You turn to him, stepping out of his grasp. Cal, Mikey, and Luke looked at the two of you, also stunned at Ashton’s words.
“Excuse you, but I am not jealous of a wanna be Barbie doll that has had plastic surgery to make herself look better than anyone else in any room.” Ashton raises an eyebrow. You shake your head, gathering your things in your purse and then fastening it on your shoulder. “You can go fuck her if you honestly think that she looks better in that dress. Don’t think about coming home, I don’t you want you back there.” You say. He reaches out for your hand but you look at him with a warning look and then walk away, going to hail a cab. Tears were gathering in your eyes and your tried to walk past all these people so they wouldn’t judge you. Once you got outside you looked back and forth, trying to find a cab.
“Y/N! I was joking baby, I didn’t mean that!” Ashton calls after you. You hear his shoes hitting the ground behind you and you try your best to ignore him. He takes hold of your arm, spinning you around so that you’re face to face. "Babe, I swear it was just a joke. I know you wouldn’t be jealous of her and I know you can loo so much better than her in a dress like that.“
"Then why the hell did you say that, Ash? Hmm? Got an excuse to make me think that you didn’t mean that?” He stares at you blankly, gulping and obviously trying to think of something to say. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “You have no fucking idea about how I felt while being in there. I felt so self conscious because I didn’t look nearly half as good as the girls in there. No I was not jealous, I was self conscious and depressed because I didn’t look like them…and you saying that I was jealous because I couldn’t pull off a dress like that? God that just made it worse.” You groaned.
He frowned, looking down, ashamed of himself and what he had said. He looked up, tears now filling his own eyes. That made your heart break, you’d never liked seeing him cry, even during a fight. “Baby I’m sorry, I really am, and I’m sorry that you don’t feel like you’re not pretty or sexy enough to be in a room with all those girls, but you are. God, you are so much better than all of those girls combined. You don’t need a tight dress to fir your body, you don’t need plastic surgery to make your boobs or butt look bigger, you don’t need a shit ton of make-up to make yourself look pretty because you are already gorgeous with out that stuff.” He wipes away your tears that you didn’t even know were falling down your cheeks. "Can I still come home with you? I don’t ever want to leave you alone, knowing that I made you this upset. I’ll do anything to make up for what I said, I swear.“
"Fine, but this doesn't mean I’m still not mad at you.” He nods. You two hail a cab, Ashton pays once you get back to your home. He tells you to wait in the car and rushes over to your door, opening it for you and helping you out. “Acting like a gentleman isn’t going to do jack squat, Irwin.” He freezes, but nods. You unlock the front door, kicking off your heals as quickly as possible. You sigh in relief, and walk up to your bedroom to shower and get rid of the stench of alcohol.
You undress, Ashton sitting quietly on the bed. You reach for the zipper on the back of the dress, but your arms don’t reach it quite enough. Ashton gets up, helping you pull down the zipper and get the dress off. You kick it onto the pile of dirty clothes and then walk into the bathroom. You wipe off your makeup and then turn on the water, waiting for it to get to the right temperature. You have no idea where Ash went, and quite frankly you didn’t give a damn about where he was. You washed you hair, face, and body then just sat on the tub floor to let the hot water rush over your body. Once the water ran cold you stepped out of the shower, your teeth chattering and your body shivering from how cold the bathroom was.
Ashton sat on the counter, holding a towel for you. “I just put in the dryer, so you’d have a warm towel when you were finished.” He hands it to you and you quickly wrap it around your shivering body. When you’re out of the shower Ashton takes his, but unfortunately for him it’s a cold shower since you had used up all the hot water. You dried your hair and body, humming softly to yourself.
You grabbed your laptop after putting on one of your- well Ashton’s t-shirts and then snuggled up under the covers. Ash walked out, a towel wrapped around his waist, his v-line showing perfectly. You removed your eyes from his torso, locking them back on your screen. Now was not the time to get aroused, you scolded yourself. He put on a pair of sweats and then dried his hair.
“Watcha lookin’ at, bug?” He asks, using one of your favorite nicknames.
“My schedule for the next week.” You say. He sighs, resting on his right arm, his eyes watching your every move. After a few minutes of him just starring at you, you finally ask, “What, Ashton? Why are you starring at me like that?”
He shrugs. “Just thinking about how stupid I was to say that you were jealous of that girl at the bar.” He sighs, rubbing your arm softly, causing goosebumps to litter your skin. You shut your laptop, pushing to the end of the bed.
“Yeah, that was pretty stupid.” You say, yawning slightly. He grabs the laptop, putting it under the bed and then shutting off the lamp and lights. He gets back under the covers, you turn on your side, your back facing him. He kisses the back of your head, mumbling an ‘I love you’ and 'I’m sorry’. You pull the covers further to your face and fall asleep peacefully.
You woke up the next morning to the smell of sausage, coffee, and pancakes. You walked downstairs, a blanket wrapped around your body. Ashton stood at the stove, flipping pancakes and getting breakfast together. You smile a little, knowing that he was trying his hardest to get you to forgive him for his foolish words.
He turns around, smiling softly at you. “Morning beautiful, I was just about to wake you up for breakfast.” He sets your plate of pancakes and sausage down first and then grabs all your favorite toppings and your coffee. You sit down, grabbing the syrup and pouring it over your food. Ashton sits next to you, doing the same to his own food. “You don’t have work today, do you?” You shake your head.
“Nope, my work week starts tomorrow.” He nods. “Why do you ask?” He shrugs.
“Just wondering, I’m gonna try to leave early so that we could have a movie night? We could watch any movie you wanted, that is if you wanted to.” He scratches the back of his neck nervously.
“Sure, I’ll probably just clean and get the laundry done today. I could go through the movies and see what we could watch.” He nods, a not being able to help the smile that moved it’s way across his face. The rest of the morning was nice, just the two of you getting ready without yelling at each other.
He slipped on his shoes and got up. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” You nod as you pull your hair into a bun. He kisses your head, his lips lingering for a minute.
“Love you.” He mumbles softly before walking out to the car.
You spent the day cleaning and going through movies. You had picked out a few MARVEL movies, The Princess Bride, and then a Disney movie. The front door to your home opened and Ashton walked in, holding a bag in his hand. He kicked off his shoes, setting them neatly by the front door, and then walking over to you.
“Hi Princess.” He kisses your cheek, setting the bag down on the table. He was clearly exhausted from his day of working with the idiots you both call friends.
“Are you sure you want have a movie night? We can just go to bed if you want, you look worn out.” He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around your waist softly.
“No, it’s okay. I said we were going to have a movie night, and that’s what we’re going to do.” You nodded smiling softly and kissing his cheek. You look at the bag and then back to him.
“What’s in the bag?” You ask, stepping away from him and going to get it from the table. He shrugs, slouching against the couch.
“Just some snacks, got your favorite too.” You smile as you pull out your favorite candy. Sitting down on the couch, you start the first movie that you had put in and stretch your legs out across Ash’s lap. He rubs your feet, kneading out the knots as you two started to watch the movie. You and him shared the candy, your eyes never leaving the screen and his eyes never leaving you.
Four movies later all the candy was gone, you were slowly falling asleep and Ashton was trying not to doze off. He waited until you were out cold on the couch, he shut off the tv and then carried you upstairs to your shared bed. He pulled the covers over your frame, and started to pull away from you, but you grabbed his hand and tugged him down next to you. A lazy smile stretched across his face as he pulled you into his chest, rubbing your back softly and humming a soft song.
“I forgive you, Ash.” You mumble, your eyes still closed. “I love you.” He kissed your forehead and you could feel the smile that wouldn’t leave his face.
“I love you too baby girl, and I promise I’ll never say anything like that ever again. I promise.” You smile lazily and the two of you fall asleep, living happily ever after.
Summary: When you fall, quite literally, into your long-time crush Ashton Irwin’s arms, things may change.
A/N: this is just a small piece I wrote a long time ago, and I’ll have to admit that it’s not very good… enjoy, I guess?
“He’s definitely starring at you, Y/N,” your best friend whispers. Of
course, you know who she’s talking about – he is the only guy you’ve had on
your mind for the last two years, after all.
“No he’s not. And keep your voice down,” you answer, shushing your
friend, who just shrugs with a smile on her lips that indicates she’s about to
something you’re not gonna like. However, when you realize what she’s up to,
it’s too late. She waits until Ashton’s not more than a meter away and then she
pushes you, literally, right into his arms. To say that the look on his face is
surprised is an understatement, and you are so embarrassed you can’t even get
yourself to look him in the eyes.
“I’m really sorry,” you mumble, trying to get away from his firm grip
around you that stopped you from hitting the ground. You feel the heat on your
cheeks and you absolutely hate yourself for being this obvious about your
attraction towards the curly haired boy.
He lets out a sweet chuckle and it isn’t until then you realize that
you’re not the only one with red cheeks. “Are you alright, beautiful?” he asks
with a low voice that makes the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. Did he
just call me beautiful or was I dreaming? You ask yourself, but the sparkle
in his eyes and his muscular arms around your body tells you that no, you’re
not dreaming. And for the first time in your life, reality is actually better
than your dreams.
“Ye-Yeah, I’m alright, thanks,” you stutter, completely lost in the eyes
that has been on your mind for so long. And they’re even more amazing from this
perspective than from across the hall. That’s the thing about him; unlike
everything else he just becomes more and more beautiful the closer you get.
“I can be really clumsy sometimes, sorry.” He laughs at your statement
and a warm feeling spreads around your body, because it’s finally you who is
the reason of behind the handsome smile on his lips.
He releases you from his grip and offers you his hand. “I’m
“I kno- I mean, I’m Y/N,” you say, your cheeks getting hotter
and hotter. He chuckles and lets go of your hand again.
“I guess I’ll se you around?” he asks, biting his lip. If you
didn’t know better you would assume he was nervous, but he can’t be, right? You
nod your head in agreement and a big smile appears on his lips before he turns
around, probably heading towards his next class. But he changes his mind and
suddenly his lips are resting at your cheeks a couple of seconds. “I’ll
call you,” he says and then he’s gone. And you have no idea how he’s gonna
get your number but for some reason you choose to believe that he’s telling the
truth - a popular guy like him usually gets it like he wants it, even if it’s
the school’s invisible girl’s number. And you are right: a couple of hours
later his number appears on your screen and little do you know that it’s gonna
keep doing that for a really long time.
They’re so cute….I’ve never wanted to be a dog so badly….just awwwwww
Anyway this is the next part to into your arms!! Hope you guys like it! Also combines the request for a make out session on the floor….so bam! haha ya..if you haven’t read the rest, go to my masterlist cuz im too lazy to add links rn…anywho enjoy!!
It had been a few months since you started
dating Luke. Everything was so intense. News of the two of you dating leaked
after a little over a month (MICHAEL!!) but you were okay with it. You and Luke
were pretty serious, spending every moment with each other, that is until he
went on tour…
That was the toughest thing you’ve ever been
through in any relationship, being apart like that. All the skyping, texts,
snaps, phone calls…none of it truly eased the pain of being apart from him. You
loved Luke, you realized that from the moment you laid eyes on him, and he
loved you too. You knew that now. This was why being away from him and not
being able to pull him close physically hurt you.
“Hey…just one more week babe…then I’ll
be right there” Luke said. You were currently having yet another skype
call, you from LA, him from some hotel room far away from you.
“I know Luke…I just miss you so
much…” You said, tears in your eyes.
“I miss you too Y/n…so much…but tour is
nearly over then I’m with you for the next couple months”
“I know…I just can’t wait to see you
“It’s getting late…you should get some
sleep. And babe, just hang on a few more days…”
“Goodnight. I love you” Luke said,
blowing you a kiss and giving you a wink.
“I love you too” You laughed. Then
you closed your laptop. Just one more week…
You were exhausted. Your shift ended late and
you wanted nothing more than just fall in bed and sleep for a year. Of course
there was no way that was happening. Your best friend of so many years you
couldn’t even remember decided tonight was Netflix night. The night where you
both binge watch all the shows you guys were currently watching. So now here
you were watching Sherlock at 3am. There was no way sleep deprivation was gonna
keep you away from Benedict Cumberbatch. (Lol that was the first show I thought
of, I love it tho…and him….) You both ended up passing out on the couch.
Although despite the fact you both had no obligations the next day, you both
routinely woke up early. Great.
“Ugh….we might as well get up”
Jennifer said, after laying on the couch for 20 minutes, refusing to get up
just as you were.
“Yeah…I know” You sighed.
“I call shower first!” Your best
friend screamed, jumping up and running towards the bathroom.
“Jen!!” You laughed, getting up.
You looked in the fridge for something to eat, and found nothing. Figures.
“Fine! But you have to go grocery shopping!”
You heard a groan in response. You took that
as a yes.
You made a list while she was showering. And
by the time you got out of the shower she was already gone. You cleaned up the
plates from last night, and too tired to do anything else you decided to just
lay there on the floor. You closed your eyes, grateful for the soft, fluffy rug
You laid there for awhile, and continued to
stay there despite the fact you heard the door open. You kept your eyes closed,
hoping if your bff thought you were asleep you could get out of putting the
groceries away. You felt someone sit
down next to you, and knew she was going to drag you up and make you help her.
“Fine Jen, I’ll help you, just let me
stay here for five more minutes. It’s your fault I’m so tired”
You heard a low chuckle, and felt someone
hovering over you, nuzzling your neck. Your eyes flew open to see Luke mere
centimeters away from you, his deep blue eyes looking at you with such love in
“Luke!” You breathed, surprised,
before kissing him. Hard. You ran your hands through his hair as you kissed
him. He put his arms on either side of your head so he could lay on top of you
without crushing you. You missed him so much, at this point you didn’t even
care you were making out on the floor. After all this time he was finally here
with you, and to think you thought you had to wait until….
“Wait…you’re not supposed to be here for
2 more days!! What…how?!”
“As soon as the last show ended I took
the next flight back to LA. I’m missing an interview today and some management
meeting but I couldn’t bare to be apart from you any longer…I missed you too
much” He said, leaning his forehead on yours.
“I missed you too” You smiled,
placing your hand on the side of his face. He looked even more exhausted then
you were, and he hadn’t shaved in awhile. Nevertheless he still smiled down on
you. Then he pressed his lips against yours. His lips kissed you hungrily,
desperate for more. His desire was intense, due to the time spent away from
each other. You kissed him back with the same urgency. You pulled his hair, as
he moved a hand down your body. He played with the end of your shirt, his
fingertips grazing your bare skin as he slowly pulled the fabric up. Then you
heard the front door to your apartment open.
“Y/n I couldn’t find any of those chips
we got last time. I’ll have to check again tomorrow.” Jennifer said, as she
closed the door. She turned around to see Luke still on top of you, both of you
with swollen lips and tangled hair. She barely lifted her eyebrows. “Hey
Luke glad you’re here! You can help bring in the rest of the groceries!”
She said, smiling.
“Jenn, great to see you too. And I’d
love to” Luke said, standing up. He held his hand out to you to help you
up as well. You couldn’t help but laugh, and felt your cheeks flush. Your best
friend just smiled at you and shook her head, pointing towards the door.
Not my best but ehhhh…next part will be better….hopefully…anywho requests always open, and thanks for reading!! -Lydia