ashton playing guitar

ash playing guitar gives me heart palpitations

Concert Nerves Pt. 1 - Luke Hemmings

A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates guys but this second part is almost done, I just couldn’t make it one post, it would have been way too long, but it will have a second part very shortly. Thanks for all staying with me even though my updates are so frickin slow xxx


Hands shaking you grab your keys and bag hurrying to where your friend had parked out the front of your apartment. You were on your way to a concert you’d promised your friend you’d go to before knowing what band you were seeing and you were regretting having made such a rash decision. Tonight you were going to see 5 Seconds of Summer, and you were so nervous about seeing them live, despite knowing that while you would definitely be able to see Luke, the guy you’d dated for over two years and loved more than anyone else in the world, he wouldn’t be able to see you. 


It had been a little under a year since you’d broken things off with Luke, and he certainly didn’t know you were now living in London. You’d gotten a promotion in the weeks before you had broken up with him. You’d known that you couldn’t support Luke in the ways he needed if you took it, but you also knew you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t. You’d flown out to him on tour, broken up with him and then flown directly to London without telling him where you were going. He didn’t know about the promotion, you’d known he would try to make you stay and you had known that was not something you could do. Although you knew it was the right thing to do, the only thing you could do, you still hadn’t forgiven yourself for breaking your own heart, or for causing the pain you had seen in his eyes that day.


And so tonight instead of telling your friend why you didn’t want to go with her, explaining it all to her, you’d just agreed to go, your seats were in the wings so you knew you’d not be seen by Luke. You’d gotten her to drive you because you knew that after the concert was over you’d have to get incredibly drunk to handle the evening. 


‘Y/N! I’m so excited you’re coming, this is going to be great, I love these guys, I know we’ll be way older than most of the kids here but their music is just so good! How much do you know about them?’ She asks and you shake your head, ‘Not much, I mean I only really started listening to them when you asked me to go with you.’ You lie. She nods happy to fill you in. 'Well, the boys are all from Australia, the drummer’s name is Ashton, Michael plays guitar, Calum plays bass and Luke is the lead singer kind of and he also plays guitar.’ She pushes on telling you internet facts that only show some of who the boys are. They’d be like your family in the years you’d dated Luke, you knew almost everything about these boys. When you’d lost your boyfriend you’d lost a great group of friends too.

 
You pull up to the venue, snagging a park close enough which is somewhat incredible considering it’s only a half hour before the opening band is scheduled to begin. You don’t have to line up for entry, just get your tickets scanned and find your seats. They’re not excellent but they’re good enough. Your friend had booked them later and they were all that was left. You were so relieved.


Settling in you try and calm your nerves. It’s about fifteen minutes before the first band will open, and then another will follow before the boys come out. You’re beginning to freak out completely. This wasn’t a part of your plan. You’re coming to realise that you won’t be able to do this. Your hands start sweating and your head starts to feel light and you think there is a possibility you may faint before the show even starts. Hauling yourself out of the seat you grab your phone and purse. 'I’m just going to grab a bottle of water and step outside a second, get some air before it starts you know?’ You say to your friend slipping away into the crowd before she can object. 


Stepping into the night air, away from the crowds near an exit that’s as far away from the doors as you can get, you lean against the brick wall. Deep breathes in and out start to calm you. Until you realise you’ll have to do this, you can’t abandon y/f/n she’s been such a good friend since you moved here. It wouldn’t be fair. 


You’re panicking again and making gasping noises as you struggle to get air into your lungs. Luckily the doorways are almost empty and you can’t see or hear much of anyone from where you’re standing. You concentrate on calming yourself down again, lying to yourself, telling yourself you’re going to be fine, you won’t even be able to see him properly, that you’re over him, that you don’t cry about him still, all these months after you broke it off. You’re so immersed in your thoughts you don’t even hear the footsteps that slow to a stop in next to you. 


You startle a hand held to your chest. 'Wanna drag?’ The voice of none other than Calum Hood says offering a cigarette to you. You shake your head, the dark concealing you enough that you think he might not recognise you. 'What are you doing here?’ he asks and you shrug as clamly as you can, ‘Needed some air.’ You say. He exhales, the smoke rolling through the air. ‘No why are you here, in London.’ He asks calmly.

‘I live here.’ You say softly knowing that despite the darkness you’ve been found.

‘Figures, you never answered your fucking phone, you didn’t even say goodbye to the rest of us.’ He says anger seeping into his voice. You take a deep breath, closing your eyes, leaning your back against the cold bricks despite already shivering, ‘what did Luke say to you?’ you ask. He shakes his head turning to look at you, ‘he said you told him you didn’t love him anymore. You have a fucking man here or something, is that why you fucking broke his heart and never looked back?’ he asks brown eyes boring into you harshly.

‘Fuck you Calum, I took a job here, it was a massive promotion, I knew I couldn’t be the girl Luke needed me to be, I couldn’t support him like he needed, I didn’t want him spending his little free time flying across the world to see me. It wasn’t fair. Did you think I wanted to do that, did you really believe I didn’t love him anymore, I love him more than anything in the world. I broke his heart but I fucking broke my own to. Fuck you, give me a goddamn cigarette.’ You’re crying properly now, sobbing as you slap his bicep demanding a cigarette.

‘Jesus Y/N.’ he says folding you into his chest, ignoring your request for a cigarette, ‘I’m sorry, I was a dick, you didn’t deserve that, he’s been such a mess, I wanted to make you feel like he has, clearly you’ve felt just as bad. Come around the back, I’ll grab you something to drink, you can decide what you want to do with Luke, but he does love you and I know you still love him.’ He talks to you gently but sincerely, holding you close to him, rubbing circles on your back like he would a crying child.

Stepping back you nod, ‘Thanks Calum, I’ve missed you all, I can’t, I’ve got to go back to my friend, she dragged me here,’ you smile half-heartedly at him. ‘Alright, but if you change your mind we’re all here, and I need your number, I’m not letting you get away without keeping in touch.’ he hands you his phone and you put your number in it. He leans over kissing your forehead, ‘Take care Y/N.’ he says. You smile a little before turning away and making your way back to the entrance.

Taking your seat again next to your friend you smile, promising yourself you’ll try to make it through the whole concert. ‘You okay?’ she asks and you nod taking her hand in yours.

‘Thanks for being a great friend to me when I moved here.’ You say and she grins in reply ‘It’s been a pleasure Y/N. Let’s have some fun!’ she exclaims happily.

Just before the boys come on you go to the back of the venue, grabbing a beer for you and a mixer for your friend. You know you need the alcohol to get through seeing Luke despite Calum’s little talk. This will not be the first trip to the bar, you’re certain. But as the lights dim and the crowd begins to chant you find yourself chanting too.

I enjoy the fact that you can see how much he plays cause the paint has worn off in some places

OMG SO LAST NIGHT I FINALLY HAD A DREAM ABOUT 5SOS LIKE THEY WERE PLAYING THEIR INSTRUMENTS DURING A REHEARSAL ON STAGE AND I WAS HANGING AROUND WITH THEM I REACHED FOR MICHAEL’S GUITAR AND WAS ABOUT TO PLAY SOMETHING BUT HE TOOK IT AWAY LIKE “NO TOUCHY TOUCHY” THEN CALUM CAME BY AND WAS LIKE “HERE YOU CAN PLAY MINE” THEN HANDS ME HIS BASS AND IN THAT DREAM I SLAMMED THAT BASS LIKE A FUCKIN PRO

I AM NOW A CALUM GIRL

Ashton gently closes the front door of his house, not wanting to make a loud noise. He takes off his shoes, and his head perks up when he hears the opening chords of Jet Black Heart clumsily played. There’s a small smile on his face as he walks to where it’s coming from. The door is wide open, letting the sunlight from the window pour into the hall. He peers inside to be greeted by the sight of his baby girl concentrating on the neck of a guitar. Her phone is in front of her, opened to the chords of their song. He can’t stop grinning as he leans on the doorframe of their studio room, his daughter still unaware of his presence. Her fingers glide stiffly across the frets, stuttering when the switches are made. His old guitar looks much too big on her small frame. The strings abruptly stop playing. The frustrated noise coming from her is his cue to come in.

“Hey, petal, what are you doing?” the young Irwin looks up to her father with a sad pout on her face.

“Daddy,” she whines, catching his father’s outstretched fingers to interlace them with her own. Ashton chuckles at her antics. “It’s so hard to play, and my fingers hurt a lot now.”

“Aww, little babe, I know, I know,” he coos, kissing the top of her hand. He pulls up the other chair and sits beside his girl. “It’ll hurt less when you get rougher callouses like me, bub.“  She huffs, blowing a stray piece of hair from her face.

“But I want that now so I can play with you properly,” she insists, pressing her fingertips on the bass strings. “And Uncle Calum said that one day I could record with you guys when I grow up.” A fond warmth glows in his chest at her determination. A chip off the old block.

“Soon, bub, I promise. Why don’t I practice with you? I’m a bit rusty.” An incredulous gasp escapes from her.

“How could you possibly be rusty? You literally just came from the studio.” He chuckles again at her disbelieving look. He wiggles his fingers at her.

“Don’t forget that your old man is a drummer,” he teases, grabbing one of the other guitars off its stand. She rolls her eyes, muttering something about instruments. She swivels so the two are facing each other.

“Alright, old man,” she bites back playfully, readjusting the guitar. “Teach me.”