ashley o'brien

Who you should fight: Critical Role cast

Matthew Mercer: you can fight Matthew Mercer. The man is incredibly intelligent but he’s not especially buff. He might surprise you though, lanky people can be wily fighters. It would be an interesting fight regardless of who won or lost. He’d probably thank you for being a fan and help you to your feet if he defeated you. You can fight Matthew Mercer. 

Marisha Ray: Do not fight Marisha Ray! Not only does she know actual marital arts, she used to be part of something called Fight Club where they used melee weapons. Dangerous with her fists or weapons. Do not fight Marisha Ray. (Also if you fight Marisha Ray I will find you and then *I* will fight you because she has enough jackasses being rude to her, and that needs to stop.)

Liam O’Brien: first you would have to catch him. The man runs 10 miles every day for fun so … good fucking luck. Even if you do catch him why would you want to fight him oh my god leave Liam O’Brien alone! (Also if you did fight him, you’d then have to defeat the combined rage of Sam, Laura, me, and half the fanbase charging to his defense.) You can fight Liam O’Brien but at what cost

Taliesin Jaffe: you can fight Taliesin Jaffe. You shouldn’t, but you can. He has the power of Luck Manipulation granted to him by mysterious dark forces. Before you can blink, he’ll have defeated you, probably using something obscure from history. You can fight Taliesin Jaffe, but he’s going to win. 

Laura Bailey: you can fight Laura Bailey but you will lose. Either she’ll take you out at the knees right away, or she’ll wink at you and you’ll fight yourself for her honor. Have you seen Laura Bailey she’s so cool and charming and amazing. You can fight Laura Bailey but you’ll lose. And you’ll deserve to lose, because how dare you.

Sam Riegel: you should absolutely fight Sam Riegel. Anytime, anywhere. Fight him in a Denny’s Parking lot, a grocery store, an arena. Fight this man. Win, lose, who cares? You must fight him

Travis Willingham: you can fight Travis Willingham. If you’re buff he’ll fight you fair. If you’re smol and fierce he might be a little flustered. If you’re weak he’ll probably let you get in one hit before putting his hand on your forehead and keeping you at arm’s length until you wear yourself out. But he’d be nice about it. You can fight Travis Willingham. (Please note if you hurt him, you’ll have to answer to Laura Bailey, and that will not end well … for you.)

Brian Foster: you can fight Brian Foster. I’m pretty sure you’d win too. He self-deprecates so much, he might fight and defeat himself before you could even get to him. You can fight Brian Foster. (But like, maybe you shouldn’t. He beats himself up on the internet enough as it is.) 

Ashley Johnson: no. How dare you even think about fighting Ashley Johnson. Go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. 

Out Of Context Critical Role Sentence Starters

“Seventeen! Puke on those fucking guards!“ 

 "I would like to buy your hair for a hundred gold pieces." 

 "You can’t walk off in the middle of hide-and-seek again! I’ve been in a barrel for an hour, I fell asleep in there!" 

 "I am a little evil magnet." 

 "Do you want to do a reach-around and see if you get a handful of wooden boob?" 

 "I show him my ass and I leave." 

 "I once saw him kill a man with his taint." 

 "I covered my hand in ink and, yeah…" 

 "My name is Burt Reynolds and that offends me." 

 "Your hands are just covered in piss now." 

 "I bury my shame." 

 "Don’t worry, I still have my lips." 

 "You realize that I was born to shove things in holes…" 

 "Vomit on those bitches." 

 "I’m the most wicked narwhal of all time!" 

 "Some people have no sense of FUCKING HONOR." 

 "You’ll leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave." 

 "Remember that time you killed a kid?" 

 "Turn around 180 degrees then run as fast as you can." 

 "I’m just sitting in the corner going HAHAHAHAHAA!" 

"The butt flap is down." 

 "It’s not sexual at all, I’m not attracted to you! Like literally if it happened I would be ill." 

 "Alright, I’ll whip it out again." 

 "Hey, _____. How much XP would _____ get for drowning an entire cargo hold of slave children?" 

 "What’s the term for when your penis is inverted?" 

 "Roses are red, violets are blue. We’re both gnomes and you are sooooo foxy.”

 "He smells of sandalwood. And dismissiveness.“ 

 "And my thoughts are still fuck you, no way, bye-bye." 

 "You’re right! He is no hollaback gnome." 

 "We don’t do anything with dignity!”

 ”_____’s lifeless corpse has a pool of urine around it.“ 

 "Nobody sweating more than is…you know necessary when being threatened by a big fuck-off dragon.“ 

 "Hit him in the arse!" 

 "Most of what I do is long and hard." 

 "I just got one of those terrible ideas I get on occasion." 

 "I died as I lived. Hard." 

 "I’m gonna dominate the guy in front." 

 "YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT." 

 "Fancy fancy mustache that you cannot wipe off your face!" 

 "Hey, look! I found a hole!" 

 "Oh! I got hit with his dick!" 

 "I’ll just punch him in his dragon face." 

 "I’m going to stand over here and fail to stay in character." 

 "Nothing can go wrong. This is a great idea!" 

 "He was trying to corrupt my soul or whatever…but good luck with that." 

 "You were like a dick in a box." 

 "This probably isn’t a good idea but…whatever." 

 "Will you come check this hatch for boobies?”

Critical Conection

Does anybody else remember in the first episodes when vox machina was in the underdark and were talking with Clarotta about the mind flayer city? Clarotta said the temple was there before his people… What other structure to we know about that are ancient temples oh yah the ziggurats. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE… Around the mind flayer temple there was a crack exposing another dimension coincidence? Maybe maybe not but out of this dimension came displacer beasts….where else have we seen displacer beasts? FUCKING DELILAH GOD DAMN BRIARWOOD that’s where. She had a displacer cloak.


In conclusion under Kraghammer is another ziggurat and the only thing possibly protecting it is the mind flayer that have taken up residence so be prepared for some shit

vimeo

At this point, DM definitely stands for Dance Master.

youtube

A cinematic orchestral theme song for #MatthewMercer, from #GeekandSundry’s live #DnD show #CriticalRole! Composed by Aiden Chan (me ✌️) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmsuE1Dn0Mk

Hope y’all like it! Follow me on twitter (@AidenChan) for more updates!

Critical Role Live at Comic-Con 2015 - Ashley’s Surprise Entrance (x)

Critter Query

Hey guys. a Critter here. I’ve been poking around on the various social media sites, looking at comments and things about Ep 88. And I’ve found some things that are, well …. they’re not us.

Something happened to our fandom last night. Something I am worried about. We lost our #NicestFandom sticker. And I mean this is beyond mean Twitch chat blather (we all know Twitch chat is ridiculous and to stay away if you want to retain your sanity and love of the game). Here, I’ll give an example.

this is a screenshot taken from the reddit page:
https://www.reddit.com/r/criticalrole/comments/5x7jyy/spoilers_e88_it_is_thursday_episode_88_live/

Yes, that’s actually Matt, and he’s doing something he shouldn’t have to: he’s having to pull his DM tone on the Critters to defend Marisha. And I don’t mean explaining a rule bend or excusing an ability botch. People, people in the Critter Community, are flat out saying Marisha was basically drunk and she should stop drinking. Personally, I’ve never seen Matt bite back like this, and that scares me. He shouldn’t have felt like he had to at all. I know Marisha/Keyleth gets a lot of negative backlash, even hate, but it should have never gotten to this kind of level.

Beside the fact that Matt said from the get-go that it was a long week and that he and Marisha were both tired already, it wasn’t just them. And I don’t think it was just the episode either (as a doozy as it was). Everyone looked so exhausted. People were grumpy. Enthusiasm for even good things was almost nonexistent. 

I guess I’m laying all this out to say … I for one think maybe our beloved players and our amazing DM should maybe take some time off from Critical Role. I feel like they might have reached a point where they need a break, without it meaning that they’re going to be at a con or doing something. Just a break, a breather. It’s been go go go for months know, all stress and plots and do-or-die, all-or-nothing, everything-on-the-line action and battles.
Our DM is tired.
Our players are tired.
Our fandom is tired.
I think we might need a week off for a nap or something.

I’m wondering what the fandom at large would think of this. I’m also wondering, if there was a positive/agreeing feedback, if we could let them know and maybe they could get a real breather (cause I don’t think that ep was what any of us thought was going to happen)



How about it, Critters? Would we be willing to give our players a rest without fussing, if they decided they wanted/needed it?