ashamed to tag him in this


we’ve been having discussions in the discord and my poor heart just can’t take it anymore.



how dare


When I was asked about him just a few weeks ago I thought he could make a comeback. I thought you all would remember this glorious, suave, composed beast of an ego. He was already snubbed for A Date With Markiplier, but now?

Now, he’s replaced again, and so quick everyone is to forget.

Look into that smiling face, those sweet eyes, that FLAMBOYANT HAIR and tell me you forgot it all. That you forgot him. How dare. Chef Iplier is a precious, legitimate bean with his very own skit and he deserves all the love. Do not be fooled by Mark’s decisions! Much as he’s apparently forgotten, this cooking bean still exists! And he will forever in our hearts.


Last known sighting of the bean. Do not be fooled by the ending of his skit. Do not be fooled by Mark’s “harmless” joke. Chef Iplier lives, and he watches as he is replaced, and you can bet he mourns. Give him the respect he deserves. The true culinary ego of Mark’s repertoire. The very best chef there is.

Long live Chef Iplier.



this breaks my heart and makes me incredibly happy at the same time… dizzee loves his brothers but he can’t tell them. they wouldn’t understand his relationship with thor and it’s just not something he can share with them

but he’s not ashamed of it, he’s not out but he loves thor and being with him and expressing himself, he finds freedom and beauty in it. like he says, he’s not gonna apologize for being an alien. he can’t tell straight people (thus “some things just ain’t for you”) but he’s still going to be himself and no one else

and i think this is a really beautiful way of acknowledging it

13 Reasons Why Preference: PDA

Not my gifs

Originally posted by alyciadubnamcarey

Clay Jensen: Clay wasn’t big on PDA and honestly, neither were you. You two liked to save your affectionate moments for when you were in private, so your PDA would mostly be holding hands and a hug when one of you left the other. That is, until Clay got jealous– then all rules regarding PDA were out of the window, and he’d flat out make out with you in front of the person trying to flirt with you. 

Originally posted by zachdempsey

Alex Standall: You were much more into PDA than Alex. He’s a more private guy, but you loved to show your relationship off, so you’d usually be the one to initiate PDA. Alex didn’t mind when you did this, he’d always squeeze your hand when you grabbed his, or wrap his arms around you when you sat on his lap. He certainly would never deny you a kiss when you wanted one (which was always), but he the kisses were never too long or too intimate; he’d save those for the bedroom. 

Originally posted by 13-lara

Jeff Atkins: Jeff would love PDA because he loved to show you off. You two would never be seen together without some kind of PDA. Jeff loved kissing you in front of other people, and his arm stayed around your waist at all times. Even when you tagged along to his tutoring sessions with Clay, he’d keep a hand on your knee or your feet touching under the table. Clay would always make fun of him for his constant need to touch you, but he couldn’t help it– he loved you, and he wanted the entire world to know that you were his. 

Originally posted by veronicsalodge

 Zach Dempsey: Unexpectedly, Zach’s PDA would be limited only to when he was drunk. He didn’t want to be the stereotypical jock, who only thought about “getting some.” So for this reason, Zach was very careful about PDA. He wasn’t ashamed of you at all (the complete opposite, actually) so he’d steal an occasional kiss on the cheek or just holding you in the hallway for a minute between classes. But when he was drunk? A whole ‘nother story. He’d be all over you when he was drunk– kissing you constantly, pulling you into his lap, never ceasing to hold you in his arms. These moments were some of your favorites– when he let his walls down, poured love onto you, and let the entire school know how much he cared about you. 

Originally posted by despairingfever

Justin Foley: Justin would love PDA. You two would get in trouble at school all too often for “excessive public display of affection,” but honestly, neither of you cared. Justin hated being apart from you, so he’d always be sure to have an arm around your shoulders, his lips on yours, or at the very least, his hand resting on your knee. Sometimes he’d get a bit cheeky– a hand resting a little too high on your thigh, maybe– and that’s when you’d get in trouble. But he didn’t care, especially since the PDA helped ensure that no other guy in the school would even try to flirt with you, for fear of Justin finding out.

cool, dank ways to get jake and rosa out of prison
  • gina runs hawkins over with a bus, consequently exposing all of hawkins’ crimes
  • charles keeps begging the prison guards to let him stay in jail too because he can’t let his best friend be in there all by himself! he gets so annoying that jake and rosa get a retrial and are free
  • amy and jake’s love is so deep and pure everyone in prison feels bad that they ever have to be separated ever and after hearing that crap like that happens to them on practically a seasonal basis all the prisoners revolt so jake can live happily with his one true love
  • rosa is so drop-dead gorgeous that the American Legal System feels ashamed for throwing her in jail; she’s too beautiful to be made to suffer so they release her
  • arlo and cheddar work together as a rag tag team of adorable dogs to free jake and rosa; they’re so cute crime stops permanently and there’s no longer a need for jail
  • jake’s beard that he mysteriously starts growing in jail turns out to have magical powers that assist him in breaking out of prison– like Jack and the Beanstalk he’s Jake and the Patchy Beard

A book broke my heart yesterday ♡ so now I need a lot of Khadgrin hugs to fix it ✿

“He died with honor, struck down by Oakheart. I couldn’t save him, but I managed to take Oakheart’s life while he was still gloating over his victory.”

Please give credit if you use my designs!

anonymous asked:

I feel like peter would try to put a pin on his suit and somehow manage to mess up all the tech. I mean our trans child is an adorable idiot

peter: tony help me!! drony was flying around my room and i was decorating my things, and i went to put a trans pride pin in the center of my suit and suddenly drony just fell to the ground!!

tony, inspecting the drone: it looks like you accidentally stuck the pin right through the server that controls the drone, maybe ease up on the spider strength when you’re sticking pins on the suit from now on. or just don’t put pins on the suit at all.

peter: so…. you’re saying that i…..

tony: you killed drony. he is a drone with no human emotion, and i’m going to fix him right now and he will be fine, but the point is that you did kill drony in cold blood, you stabbed him through his little drone heart, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Movie Night Pt. 2

A Bucky Barnes Two-Shot

Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Word Count: 1310

Warnings: NSFW! 18+. Swearing, smut, oral (female receiving), female ejaculation. Turn back now if this bothers you!

A/N: This is a request I received from my lovely internet friend. @sebastianstanisyourboyfriend Thank you for being my cheerleader, love ya babe!

To get caught up, read Movie Night first!  

Originally posted by rohgers

You were under no illusion Bucky meant that you guys were going to watch a movie once you were back in his room. You nodded and got up from his lap. He gave your ass a tiny swat before standing too. You threw him a look over your shoulder and laughed at his cheeky smile. You pulled your t-shirt over your head and watched as Bucky stepped into his sweatpants. After pulling your shorts on, you packed everything back into the gym bag and put it back under your desk. Bucky was by the door waiting on you.

“I have to warn you,” he said holding his hand out to you, “there isn’t any other way to my room without walking by the screening room.” You put your hand in his and started down the hallway. You felt like you were in college again, doing the walk of shame. But then you looked up at Bucky’s profile and admired his features. You wanted to feel the scratch of that stubble on your inner thighs. You looked away and focused on walking. Never mind, you had no shame.

“I think when we didn’t show up for the movie, they probably solved the equation on were we would be,” you said as you two neared the double doors of the built-in theater. As you passed by the open doors, you peaked inside. Luckily, nobody paid you any mind. You looked up at Bucky and laughed, “Tony chose one of my favorite movies!”

He quirked his eyebrow at you, “Would you rather join them?” He pulled you into his embrace, both of his hands settling on your ass and giving a firm squeeze. You let out a squeak when his teeth sank into your neck. You looped your arms around his head, holding him in place.

“Not even a little,” you whispered in his ear, nipping at the lobe. Bucky’s hands moved to the backs of your thighs and lifted you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and tightened your hold on his neck. Bucky continued walking toward his room. The look on his face was full of intent. You kissed along his jaw and tunneled your fingers in his hair. When you gave his neck a little love bite and tugged on his hair simultaneously, you heard a soft, “…fuck,” leave his lips. A hand left your thigh to give your ass a hard smack.

“Doll face, I’ll fuck you right here in the damn hallway,” he said while glancing at you. “Then we could really give everyone something to watch.” He gave you a quick kiss before stopping in front of his door. He fumbled with the doorknob before using his foot to push the door open. He set you on your feet once you were inside. You looked around after he flipped the light on. Neutral tones, you liked it.

“Ya know, I wasn’t opposed to the hallway fucking,” you quipped while walking over to his bookcase. You skimmed your fingers along the titles, approving of his choices. His arms wrapped around you from behind. His lips were warm against your ear.

“We’ll work up to that,“ he licked the shell of your ear. “I’m not ready to share what you look like when you come.” His flesh hand made its way underneath your shirt and was caressing your breasts slowly. You dropped your head back onto his shoulder and closed your eyes. He used his palm to rub circles on your nipples. You subconsciously rolled your hips against his semi-hard cock. Bucky’s metal arm was making a soft whirring noise as he traced the waistband of your shorts. You ran your hand up and down the smooth plates, biting your lip and keeping in your moans.

“I’ve always had a thing for your tits.” He pinched a nipple and then soothed it with his palm. He repeated this process while he talked, “I would always imagine what they looked like. How sensitive they were. How you would sound if I did this…” he pulled on your nipple with a harsh tug, causing you to gasp loudly. “Ah, perfect,” he said, nipping your neck. You were squirming in his arms. Your shorts were soaked. This man was turning you into a hussy.

“Bucky baby, I’m dying a slow death here,” you were proud of yourself for being able to form words at all.

“Sweetheart, you have no idea,” he said as he turned you toward the bed and instructed you to sit. You perched yourself on the edge and looked up at him. He stripped your shirt off. You raised your hips enough to allow him to pull your shorts down your legs and off. He lowered himself to his knees in front of you and spread your thighs with his body. He leaned in for a kiss before bending and placing your legs over his shoulders. The last thing you saw was a sinful grin before he took a long lick through your folds.

“Holy… oh…” was all you managed before laying back, propped up on your elbows. His eyes closed with a growl, sending vibrations straight into your cunt. Bucky licked his way around your entrance, savoring the taste. He flicked his tongue over your clit, switching between short and rapid to long and slow. You started to buck your hips against his face. He slung his metal arm across your belly to still your movements. He used his flesh hand to push two fingers inside you. He curved his fingers just right, rubbing you sweet spot in tandem with his flicking tongue over your clit.

You screamed. Your arms gave out, falling flat on your back. You clutched the sheets with one hand while tangling your fingers in his hair with the other. Bucky was thrusting his fingers deep, flattening his tongue against your clit and moving his head back and forth. The noises he was making were like those of a starving man at his first meal. It was overwhelming. The pleasure was sharp and your orgasm was going to hit you like a freight train.

“Oh god… I’m coming… BUCKY!” you gasped as your legs started to shake and the wave crashed through your body. You threw your arm over your eyes as Bucky slowly worked you down from your high. When your senses were back online, you peaked at him from underneath your arm. He had sat back a bit and was staring at you in awe. His chin was glistening still and he brought his hand up to show how wet it was. That is when you felt it. Your inner thighs were drenched. As was the sheet underneath you. The confusion had to be clear on your face.

“Did I…?” you shook your head, but Bucky cut you off before you could finish the sentence.

“Yea doll, I think you did.” He stated with a satisfied grin. Your cheeks turned hot and you scooted away from him. He grabbed your ankle before you got too far. “Hey, what is that look for?” His brow was furrowed as he looked at you.

“I’ve never… that hasn’t ever happened to me before.” You said embarrassed.

Bucky’s features softened. He wiped his chin off before climbing into the bed next to you. “Doll face, don’t be embarrassed.” He pulled you into his arms. “Never be ashamed of your pleasure. Besides, Clint said that finding a woman who can squirt is like finding a white whale.”

You pushed him away a bit and punched his shoulder playfully with a laugh. “Did you just call me a whale?” Bucky fell back onto the bed in a fit of laughter.

He rolled off the bed and reached down for your hands. He pulled you up and toward the bathroom, “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up Moby.”  


Tag list@badassbaker @sebastianstanisyourboyfriend

Ticklish (Batboys + Bruce Wayne headcanon)

Requested: Yes
Request: Can you write headcannons for how the batfam members would react when their s/o finds out they’re ticklish? 😂 like i imagine all of them freaking out bcuz there’s NO way a little tickles could bring down highly skilled and trained bois (but it does)
Tag: @pinkwitch21


  • This boy isn’t one bit ashamed of his sensitivity to tickles
    • How in the hell could any criminal use that against him anyway
  • he would try to hold it with you,like really really hold it
    • But that really didn’t work out
      • He would let go the most adorable giggle you’ve ever heard


  • He would hold it so hard
  • like on any given day you probably wouldn’t get him with thee tickles
    • but the day he’s off guard and way too tired for life
    • Best time to get him with the mistical tickles
  • he’ll still hold it, with chuckles falling from his locked lips
  • He can’t hold it too long anymore
  • He would gently swat your hands away
  • He would try to give you a pointed look 
  • but there would be tears in his eyes
    • be ready for a counter attack


  • He would be crazily easy to tickle
    • just from a very gentle touch
  • He would be super embarrased 
    • Like tomato faced
  • He would be begging you to not tell his brothers
  • he doesn’t need them to have more ammunition


  • You need to catch him hella off guard to get him to not hold it
  • The son of Batman does not get ticklish
    • Little did he know that Batman was also ticklish
      • But “an assassin does not get ticklish beloved!!!”
  • He would be really embarrased
  • he’d try to hide it as much as he can
  • but there’s no hiding  that from you
  • He would tell you to never do it again
    • He secretly finds it kinda cute
      • Be ready for a super secret sudden attack
    • Dami is out to getcha


  • Batman has no feelings!
    • He can’t feel a punch to the face, let alone tickles
      • HAHAAHAH like anyone would believe any of those statements
  • he’s actually pretty ticklish
  • and in private he’s not too shy about it either
    • A way to seem more normal to you, ya know
      • But don’t you dare tell anyone else about it
  • Ya’ll would have like straight up tickle fights
    • Sometimes it endsup in a pretty gentle pillow fight after Bruce relentlesly attacks your sides and your only option is a pillow to his face


With love,

fredheads  asked:

concept: archie starts therapy after episode 4 and he and reggie have the same therapist and one day he sees reggie leaving the building / sitting in the waiting room and instead of being embarrassed reggie is super stoked to see him and extra stoked that archie is taking care of his mental health

im sitting here crying over imagining reggie not being ashamed of having a therapist or getting help for himself. i want him to be extra and offer archie a ride and

Preferences: Telling Him You’re A Virgin

Requested by anon.

Whoops a couple of these got a little steamy. Oh, and Crowley is in this one too ;)


Originally posted by strengthcas

Dean’s a lady’s man (everyone knows that), which is why you hesitated to tell him about your intact virginity. When it finally slipped, Dean was confused why you didn’t tell him sooner. After telling him the truth about possibly disappointing him, he made sure to let you know how perfect you were for him, regardless of your purity. 


Originally posted by sam-and-dean-winchesters

To say Sam was surprised was an understatement. He couldn’t believe someone as perfect as you hadn’t lost it yet. He didn’t you at first until you had explained you had kept it for the right person. And oh boy, was he really surprised when you said he’s the right person ;)


Originally posted by hallowedbecastiel

Cas was a little confused when you nervously told him you were a virgin. He didn’t know why you were so embarrassed because after all, he hadn’t had much experience in that department either. Nevertheless, he reassured you it was nothing to be ashamed of, and you could wait as long as you needed.


Originally posted by marksheppardischarming

Telling Crowley didn’t take long. Well, you didn’t tell him; he just read your mind instead. After teasing you relentlessly, he promised it was nothing to worry about and there was no rush. He also reassured you that he’d be right there when you were ready ;)

TFW Tag List~ @prob8850 @skybinx-blog @torn-and-frayed @its-my-perky-nipples @trinityjadec @poemwriter98 @assbutt-jones-at-law @kalifosterxx @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @deanscherrypie @deandoesthingstome @kittenofdoomage@deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @supernatural-jackles @donnaintx@aprofoundbondwithdean @umaakomton @danamarie2123-blog @mogaruke @kickasscas67 @sandlee44 @infatuatedniall@wildfirekhaleesi@fairytalesexistxx @imnotalosechester @msgrungie @geminalupus@felelotlen-felhotlen @2wonderinsighlents@eternallyademon @bananakid42  @tom-is-in-my-tardis @27bmm@queenindecisive @jxackles@infatuatedniall @sisterwinchesterwriter @mamabear82nd@raylin19

Ivonne’s 12 Days of Deadpool, #6

Spideypool x Reader,  smut ya’ll. 

You are left alone at your company's Christmas party. Where are those two idiots?

#1, #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 , #6 , #7 , #8 , #9 . #10 , #11, #12, #13

Mariah Carey singing ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ blasted throughout the conference room, as you sipped cheap wine in the corner. This was suppose to be a fun night with Wade and Peter, they both were happy to come to your company’s Christmas party; especially with an open bar. But at the last minute, Peter had some Spidey duties to uphold and Wade opted to tag along to help get the job done quicker, leaving you all alone. Not that you hated your co-workers, they were all pretty nice. It’s just that you were looking forward to getting piss drunk with your boys and possibly making complete fools out of yourselves.

Sighing, you pouted in the corner, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. Everyone was socializing and taking advantage of the open bar, so you strolled over to it and ordered another whiskey sour.

Keep reading

I’ve been going through the harshest period of my life since about last fall. It’s been rough and is still. My entire life just fell apart around me, and I’m not even trying to pick up pieces, I’m just sitting in the middle of the wreckage after a sweeping fire and hoping for new green things. My therapist tells me that one way to help accepting all these harrowing things I feel is to visualize them, give them traits, meet them.
So meet Shame. He’s the Hades of my feels pantheon. He is this feeling that all I am is a mask, and a lifeless one, badly slipping. So that anyone with eyes can see that underneath there’s nothing but rot and grossness. He is covert and slippery. He comes at night and taints things I shouldn’t feel him for, good things. I feel ashamed for just about everything. For wanting things, for feeling things, for asking things, for not asking things. For doing and not doing. For being me. So, hello dude, let’s be friends and see if we can live together to our mutual contentment.

Next up is Self-hate, Shame’s BFF, brother and occasional incestuous lover. Yeah, нere’s a way to help myself, maybe, take all my feels, make them into a slashy canon. Why not.

anonymous asked:

Let him rest? Who the hell do you think you are? Louis is not a helpless child. He's a grown ass man, he's rich, he's got an adorable son, a hot girlfriend. He gets paid to walk around in fancy clothes and sip coffee. Why the fuck do you act like people should feel sorry for him? Aren't you ashamed to act like this when so many people around the world struggle with REAL issues?

Okay, anon. Okay.

Let us imagine for a moment that we are two separate and yet civilised bloggers. 

Let us imagine that we are both fans of Louis Tomlinson, and as such take an interest in his general wellbeing, as well as support him in his work.

Let us imagine, that you, dear blogger, saw a three word tag on a post that I wrote, one made up of nine words.

Let us imagine that you read the words ‘Just a happy hug for Louis. Pass it on’ and then clicked into my original post and saw the tags ‘one less thing to worry about’, ‘let him shine’ and  'let him rest’.

Let us imagine that in seeing this, for reasons best known only to you, you chose to focus on the three words ‘let him rest’.

Let us imagine that without choosing to ask, or to seek context as to why I would have made the post to begin with, let alone used those three particular words, you then instead chose to send me a cowardly anonymous message.

Let us imagine that I attach no shame to what I choose to blog about, and that instead I choose to blog about things that I find positive, or wish to raise awareness of, as well as things I enjoy.

Let us imagine, anon, that you are unaware of the fact that I am a real life activist, and that I have in fact been to parliament to discuss real life issues with real life MPs.

Let us imagine, that you anon, recall before you press send, that you know nothing about me, my life, nor the REAL issues, I, nor anyone around me, face.

Let us imagine, anonymous person who came to my blog with the express purpose of sending me this message, that you cannot in fact imagine what it was like, like I, to be raised in the shadow of sectarianism.

Let us imagine, anonymous grey box of safety you choose to hide behind, that every day of my career, I work assisting people whom I was inspired to support, after my mother lost the vast majority of her hearing and was injured in a bombing when I was five years old.

Let us imagine, person presumably too ashamed of their actions to use their real name, that no, I am not ashamed to act with compassion and empathy, and to have a post reflect those parts of me.

Let us imagine that I, a fan of Louis Tomlinson, used those three words, because I was happy to see that he will not face charges in a case that I feel should never have been brought against him in the first place.

Let us imagine that I used the words ‘let him rest’ because I am happy that instead of having the shadow of the aforementioned case (and the way certain people chose to report it) hanging over him, I hope that he can instead now get some respite, away from this particular kind of exposure.

Let us imagine, that while I understand that everyone experiences and deals with grief in the way that is personal and right for them, that grief is something I sadly understand all too well.

Let us imagine then, that as someone who in the past few years alone, has lost five of my cousins (including one to suicide, the pain of which I talked about in depth here), my aunt (who was like a grandmother to me), my uncle (who was in fact buried today), and my father, who died aged fifty-nine (and whom I didn’t even get to say goodbye to, because he passed away with no warning), knows a little bit about grief and how it can weary you.

Let us imagine that within the scope of my experience, I feel, personally, that while we all handle grief differently, that the one thing you do not need when grieving is more external stressors in your life, because grief is an all consuming experience (tiring in a way that you cannot know until you have lived through it), that no amount of money, sipping coffee, or fancy clothes can assuage.

Let us imagine that I, someone who has experienced the life changing blow that is losing a parent, empathises with Louis Tomlinson in this instance, and that I hope he is able to relax a bit and rest a little more (something that in and of itself is open to interpretation) with one less of those external stressors to worry about.

Let us imagine, anon, that you have not experienced even a fraction of such a monumental emotion (because I would not wish it on anyone), and that you can find it within yourself to understand, to examine context, and to use critical thinking regarding the words of someone who has, and who in turn chose to make a small statement on their own blog regarding it.

Let us imagine, dear anon, that we live in a world where people think before they speak, where someone who is grieving can visit a site they enjoy for some respite from said grief, and where unchecked denigration and spewing vitriol are not the norm. Where people consider their words and how they will carry them with them (because carry them they must), before they send a stranger an anonymous message on the internet.

Imagine THAT.

Father’s Daughter.

Titled: ‘Father’s Daughter’ 

Pairing: Gaston x reader

Word Count: 1709 

Summary: Your daughter, Cecile is being pushed around by one of the village boys and Gaston suggests sending Sebastien after him but then quickly realizes that won’t be necessary. 

A/N: Thought this would be such a cute fic idea! So here you go!! 

Warnings: Daddy!Gaston feels, Gaston/Luke Evans feels, FLUFF, slight angst,  etc. 

Tagging:  @girl-next-door-writes  @captainemwinchester @little-red-83@impalaimagining@sherlocks-timetraveling-assbutt@hobbithorse19@feelmyroarrrr@lefouismylife@redimagines@letowolfie@ciaprincess@speedycatbluebird @haniiix33 @mademoiselle-lanielenawrit@pancake74433 @certainasthesvn@with-a-hint-of-pesto-aiolishiroyuki18@ironicallyimnotamouse@ciaprincess@erreneous@gawston@benedictcumberbatchstolemyheart @pureawesomeness001@ronijdubb@norrihiddleskittycap@oh-snap-its-mildred @milleniumxhan

Gaston has never been one to be ashamed to admit anything, and he especially liked to brag about having a family of his own someday. Alongside the woman he held dearest to his heart. So far you and him have just done that. Your first born son name’s was Sebastien, he was twelve years old. Christopher, not too far behind, your second born son, was nine years old. Cecile, she was your first born daughter, and she had just celebrated her seventh birthday. A year after Cecile was born, you welcome your third son, who you named Henri, and he was six. And your youngest, was your second born daughter, Felicite who was only one years old. So you already had your hands full. 

Keep reading

A Way Back Home

Member: Kim Donghyun // MXM & Produce 101 Trainee from BNM

Genre: Some angst, some fluff

Plot: When you and Kim Donghyun go separate ways, what does the future hold for you?

Word count: 5534

Originally posted by donghans

“Thank you for inviting me, it was really great,” you gushed to Sejeong, who was grinning broadly. She was glad you had enjoyed the spontaneous offer to come to her church coffeehouse to listen to some of the members perform. Despite having already snacked and drank a few beverages, you had obliged when she and a few of your other childhood friends had decided to head out for drinks.

“I feel like we haven’t met up in ages!” Youngmin’s voice was cheery as he poured soju into the tiny shot glasses. A waiter set down a few snacks on the table, and Woojin thanked him politely before turning back to you.

“____, you were living under the radar for so long. What did you even do after university?” You huffed playfully at his question, poking him with the butt of your chopsticks.

“Hey! Park Woojin! You’re only saying that because you didn’t even try to contact me that much after high school!” He protested feebly, while Sejeong and Youngmin erupted in laughter at your bickering. “Well, I did what I said I would do. I went to law school at Korea University, and with my literature degree I also took up writing a little too. I’ve gotten a few works published, but nothing big.”

“You can’t believe her,” Sejeong chirped, casting a mischievous glance at you as she pointed her chopsticks around for emphasis. “____ actually wrote a sappy romance novel!” Youngmin and Daehwi hooted with approval, while Woojin rolled his eyes. You sighed, glowering at your best friends.

“Where did she even get the experience for that?” Daehwi teased, and your gaze raked over his laughing self.

“Probably with Donghyun.” Woojin said under his breath, but you all froze at the words. Youngmin cleared his throat, trying to break the atmosphere and piled french fries onto your plate.

“How is he?” You finally ask, and Daehwi’s gaze flitted back and forth. He was the youngest in the group, actually an underclassmen you had all befriended, while Youngmin was more of a senior that had taken good care of your group in the neighborhood. It was the first reunion, albeit incomplete, since you had all attended Daehwi’s high school graduation. Even that had been nearly a decade ago.

“You haven’t heard from him or seen him since… that day?” Sejeong asked, her round eyes showing the surprise that was dripping in her voice. You nodded, before downing another shot of soju. It was cold, tasting almost like nothing, and you hummed in appreciation. You truthfully could not tell if it was that you didn’t hear from Donghyun, or that you did not want to hear from him.

“He’s doing well. He might come… if you don’t mind,” Youngmin confessed guiltily. You smile uncomfortably at his words. “I’m not sure. He didn’t say anything. You know how he doesn’t really enjoy drinking.”

“How did you guys even date? You were like best friends! It’s amazing you guys even fell in love,” Daehwi leaned forward, waiting for your reply. Before you could stop it, a smile erupted on your face at the thought of Kim Donghyun.


2005 at age 7

At first we were just neighbors.’

“Tag! You’re it!” The children shrieked with giddiness, scattering like birds as you darted around, trying to grab one. Unfortunately, you were small, and your strides weren’t able to carry you as far as everyone else’s had, so it was difficult for you to find someone else to tag. Yoojung was simply too fast, Doyeon too long legged, Taehyun was excellent at dodging too. Maybe Taehyun’s twin–

“___! Your shoelaces are untied!” Donghyun shouted as you scrambled after him. ‘He’s probably trying to trick me so I slow down!’ You were determined, but the concern in his eyes were the last thing you had seen before you crashed into the grassy ground below you, your knees sinking into the soft earth. The other kids broke into laughter, and you felt ashamed, ears burning bright red. Donghyun knelt beside you, tying your shoelaces with an apologetic smile on his face.

“I’m sorry. If I stopped running and let you tag me, you probably would have had a chance to at least tie your shoes after I was ‘it’.” You shook your head furiously, braided pigtails flapping around.

“I was being dumb. Don’t worry, I’m fine.” You gave him a smile, showing off how you had lost your tooth earlier in the week. He grinned, pointing to his own matching missing tooth.

“Twins? We’re more alike than me and Taehyun,” Donghyun joked, before helping you up. By the time you two had caught up to where the rest of the children were, they had already chosen another child to be ‘it’. You sighed, and Donghyun nudged you with his shoulder.

“Do you still want to play?” You shook your head, pouting.

“It’s not fun for me when I’m always it,” you whined, and he laughed at your words. He pointed at the swing set nearby, which was vacant with the rest of the neighborhood focusing on the game of tag.

“Why don’t we go there then? Do you like swings?” You nodded eagerly, and he grabbed your hand and tugged you along. “Then what are we waiting for?”

2008, Age 10

Then we were good friends.’

You looked around nervously, unsure of how to get home. It was nearing the end of the school year, and in your excitement for the break you had forgotten to even pack an umbrella for the sudden icy rains that would hit your town like there was no tomorrow. And now here you were, watching students run out with umbrellas, careful to not skid on the slushy ground as they ran towards their homes. You felt like everyone was abandoning you, leaving you behind in the cold. You rubbed your hands together, flinching at the cold wind that slapped your face everytime the door opened and another student ran freely.

“___?” You turned at the familiar voice, Donghyun and Taehyun greeting you with smiles. You felt relief sink into your stomach.

“Are you guys leaving now? Do you have a spare umbrella?” Taehyun looked guiltily at Donghyun.

“Sorry. I promised Daehwi’s mother that I would walk him home, so I think I have to share mine. Donghyun?”  

“What would you do without me?” Donghyun teased, before pulling out his own umbrella. He unravelled his scarf, before looping it around your neck and pulling it above the bottom half of your face. “You have to dress warmer! Your mom is going to kill me if you get sick!” He opened the umbrella, before looping his arm into yours.

“I’m glad I have a friend like you,” you whisper to him, and he pretended to be offended at your words.

“I’m glad to have a best friend like you,” he corrected, pulling you to his side closer to prevent your right shoulder from getting wet. He refused to let you fuss over his left shoulder, which was getting hit by the cold precipitation, and he jerked his head towards the thick winter coat he had on.

“Don’t worry! This is ‘everything’ proof.” He boasted, and you tried to suppress the laughter bubbling in your throat. Trust Donghyun to be a ray of positivity and make up something so perfect. He made sure that you were on the side further from the streets, leaning to block any puddles that the cars would run into and letting himself get sprayed.

“Donghyun! You’re going to get sick like this,” you fretted, and he smiled brightly at your words, shaking his head confidently. A few of your female schoolmates you were passing cast envious glances, and you remembered again at how popular he was. Taehyun and Donghyun, the school sweethearts.

“Nothing can hurt me. You just focus on not getting sick.”

2013, Age 15

‘But then you realize there could be more. A lot more.’

“What am I going to do without you?” Donghyun beamed brightly as you gently dusted off his shoulders. He was going on a date with a new girl who arrived at your school, and you had to push the unexpected bitterness down as he had begged you for help. You scoff teasingly at his words.

“Probably live life exactly the same if I weren’t here.” He poked your forehead, causing you to throw a glare at him.

“I would be devastated if you weren’t here.” His eyes caught yours, and for a moment you forgot why you were in his room. Taehyun had moved out to attend a boarding school for the brightest students, while Donghyun had insisted that it was a waste of money for him to attend it as well. You could still remember with a faint blush how he had said he could not leave you behind as well, but you were almost certain he wouldn’t remember those words. You clear your throat, ducking away from him. He had grown tall, and increasingly handsome, as the two of you grew up. Girls couldn’t miss his beautiful smile, and guys could not even muster jealousy because he was simply too angelic in personality.

“It’s getting late. You should go now.” You say forcefully, and he puts his hands on your shoulders, facing you abruptly. You lower your gaze once more, not wanting to see the pure excitement in his eyes. Your stomach did an uncomfortable flip, waiting for his words.

“Don’t study too hard, and don’t miss me too much. I’ll call you when I’m done, and I’ll buy a tub of vanilla ice cream for you on the way back.” He pulled you in for a quick hug, before grabbing his cream cardigan and running out the door. You plop onto his bed, exhaustion taking over. It was not the first time you were in his room without him there, and his parents certainly did not mind whenever you visited. You curled up, hugging his teddy bear that you had bought him for his eighth birthday present. It smelled strongly of him, and you sighed. The girl, Sohye, was pretty. She was kind, and she was probably a good match for someone as loved as Donghyun. You were merely the childhood friend.

You close your eyes, letting your weariness consume you.

“___?” A soft whisper woke you up, along with warmth encompassing your body. Your eyes opened blearily, staring up at Donghyun, who was tucking his blanket around you. He froze when he saw you awaken, guilt on his face.

“Huh? What time is it?” You rolled over, grabbing your phone. It had only been an hour since he left…

“I ended it a little early,” he confessed, sitting on the edge of his bed. He held up a small plastic bag, the outline of a carton of ice cream evident. “I couldn’t really enjoy it when you seemed down.” Warmth flickered in you at his words, and he passed you a pink plastic spoon, before lying down beside you. He grabbed his TV remote, turning on the small screen that was across the room from his bed.

“Are you going to meet her another day then? I’m really sorry.” You mumble around a spoonful of the cold treat. He shook his head, a small smile on his face as he found a rerun of Running Man.

“I didn’t feel a click. I’m sure I’ll meet the right girl another day.” He said, turning to feed you. “Ahhh. Open up.”

2014, Age 16

“I’m borrowing you for a moment,” Donghyun grabbed your hand, his calloused palm wrapped around your own. He flashed a forced smile at Hyunbin, the boy you were talking to at the library, and dragged you out. Your backpack and belongings were already in his other hand, and you frowned.

“What’s wrong?” You spluttered, and he shook his head slightly, tugging you in his wake. He did not speak, instead leading you to the small park that you had played in as children. It was late, with the last streaks of the sunset fading into darkness, and the stars beginning to peer out and twinkle above. He shrugged his bag off, letting go of your hand. You missed the warmth instantly, but remained silent, bidding him to say something. He took out a large blanket, throwing it onto the grass, and motioned for you to join him.

“Let’s lie down and relax a bit. You’ve been studying too much in the library these days,” Donghyun said carefully, giving you his arm as a headrest. You took it cautiously, praying silently that your head wasn’t heavy and that it would not cut off his blood circulation. The crickets were singing their songs, and you listened for awhile, enjoying the moment too much.

“You don’t like that guy right?” Donghyun finally interrupted. You turn to face him, blushing when you realized he was already staring intently at your face. You shook your head, sighing. If only he knew that it was him that you liked. He was protective, probably because you were close for such a long time. It made your heart flutter whenever he took care of you, but the emptiness that followed every time the label of, “friend” was placed on you hurt.

“Hyunbin is a classmate and friend. Sejeong likes him. I’m just a messenger pigeon.” He looks away, a deep exhale of his chest causing your head to sink slightly with it as you leaned into him. Despite it being late spring, it was still a little chilly at night. He readjusted for you, holding you closer.

“What do you think about them? Do you think that they’re soulmates?” Donghyun asked suddenly, and you hum in thought.

“I think that you don’t have to be romantically associated to be soulmates.” You said finally, and he nodded for a moment, peeking down at you and urging you to continue. “You have a soulmate, but that person is just someone who is compatible with you in every humanly way possible. And maybe the love of your life exists, too. They could be the same person, but it doesn’t have to be that way.” Silence relapses as you gaze up at the stars and Donghyun seems lost in his thoughts.

“I… like the thought of that. I want to find my soulmate.” He said. “Someone who’s there for me when I need them the most, and that I can get along with for a lifetime.”

“I’m probably your soulmate,” you whisper under your breath, and he tenses at your words. You felt dismay sink into your stomach. ‘How stupid are you? Can’t you think inside of your damn mind?’ He sat up, forcing you to sit up as well, unable to look at his face.

“You’re right! You are basically my soulmate!” He grinned broadly at this. “How could I have not known earlier?”

2015, age 17

“And… Done!” You stand back, admiring your dandy work while Woojin grinned into the mirror. You had dyed his hair into a bright red at his request, and it came out looking quite good.

“You’re actually amazing,” he said, offering a fist bump. “I definitely have to find a wife like you in the future.”

“Stop flirting with my soulmate if you two are staying at my house!” Donghyun chided childishly from his living room sofa, and he smiled at Woojin. “But yes, you’re right, ____ is amazing.” Woojin rolled his eyes, unable to stand the words his friend was saying, while Daehwi chuckled from the kitchen as he poured the freshly made popcorn into a bowl. You were hanging out, celebrating the end of another school year and welcoming the fact that you would be graduating soon.

“When is Taehyun coming home?” You ask as you sit beside Donghyun. Woojin scooted over to make more space, shaking his head in mock disapprovement when Donghyun wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“I heard he’s coming back next week. Didn’t we agree to go watch that new movie with him?” Woojin shrugged, texting into his phone, while Daehwi arrived with the popcorn, kernels already stuffed into his mouth.

“I think Daehwi and I have to go right now,” Woojin stuttered, staring at the screen. “Sejeong said she needs backup dancers for her cover contest submission.” You giggled as Daehwi stuffed more popcorn into his mouth, his eyes sullen at the thought of leaving the food, while Woojin grabbed a handful for himself.

“Thanks for the hair dye, ____. If hyung doesn’t treat you well, call us and we’ll come back.” You nod cheerfully, while Donghyun wrinkles his nose, shouting at them to lock the door on their way out. The house was silent again, the February snow dusting over the windows as the wind went along its merry way. Donghyun sighed, looking at you and pushing a few loose strands of hair from your face.

“I’ve been thinking.” He began, and you looked up at him. His dark eyes reflected the lighting in the room, and warmth filled them. His lips were quirked ever so slightly upwards, the beginnings of a somewhat demure smile. A small blush crept into your cheeks when you saw how beautiful he was.

“Y-yes?” You stuttered, unable to allow your gaze to rest on his face any longer. He withdrew his hand briefly, his lips pursed in thought.

“What are we?” He finally asked. A lump formed in your throat at the question. Honestly speaking, you were still saddened at the label, “friend”, and it was hard to keep track of the number of times someone would mistake you two as a couple. You almost would rather him stop saying that you two were friends, to let it slip, and to not break your heart a little more. Ever since the two of you were declared as best friends for life at the park, you were also two peas in a pod.

“What do you mean?”

“Well for one, this.” He gestured to his arm, which was still wrapped securely around your shoulders. “Two, do regular friends make their friends feel like third wheels all the time?” Your heart sank. Was this his way of warning you off? Had Donghyun finally found a girl to love?

“I suppose not.” You murmur, sitting up straighter to gently let his arm slide off. He pulled you back, a large but bashful smile suddenly erupting on his face.

“Then do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“That’s so sweet!” Sejeong fawned as she downed another shot of soju. Woojin and Daehwi looked mildly amused at their own obliviousness in the past, while Youngmin nodded along. “But if you guys were so good to each other, then how did you ever break up?”

We were both ambitious…”

2017, Age 19

You pinned your curled hair away from your face, checking your reflection in the mirror. It was Valentine’s Day, and the university year was almost over. Admittedly, you had struggled a lot more than you wanted to admit. Of course you and Donghyun were unfortunate and did not end up in the same university. His sights were set upon composition and music, and you fondly could remember all the night video cats in which he would gush about the compliments received for his newest pieces. You would listen to the gentle strum of his guitar, and did your best to encourage his dream of opening a studio and becoming a composer.

Donghyun naturally supported you in your pursuit to be a lawyer. He knew that you weren’t interested in criminal justice, but that you would rather help with real estate property. He sent vitamins when the weather got cold, reminded you daily that he loved you, but this was the first date in nearly a few months. Your universities were only 45 minutes away by bus, but your schedules were unwilling to allow you to meet. A nervous excitement bubbled in your stomach, and you hoped he found you pretty.

You had arranged to meet at a nearby Italian restaurant. When you were guided to your table, you felt your heart flip at Donghyun’s smile. He looked as handsome as ever, his eyes fixated on you with a large grin. Pride shone in his eyes as he stood up, embracing you. His suit jacket smelled of him, and all of your childhood memories erupted, causing your eyes to dampen with tears.

“What’s wrong, __?” His voice was laced with concern as he pulled away to examine your face. You shook your head, unable to say anything and simply mustered an embarrassed smile. He pulled your seat out for you, and laid the cloth napkin on your lap.

“I missed you a lot,” you finally manage, and his eyes glowed with fondness at your words.

“I did too. You look so beautiful today.” He said, and he glanced at the clock. “I hope you don’t mind that I ordered for you. I got your favorite, gnocchi.” You smile appreciatively at his choice.

“Do you remember when we first started dating?” He asked, and you nodded. Woojin and Daehwi were unaware, and Sejeong had merely assumed that it was the start of an intensified ‘some’ relationship. Your dates were casual: you would read your poems that you had tried to write for him, and he would be a personal jukebox with his guitar. You would study at the library together to make up for the load of school work to be done, applied for colleges together, and it was only after Donghyun had demanded to see your results before anyone else’s that people realized there was something there.

“Do you remember when Daehwi refused to talk to you for a week because we never told him?” You giggled as your food arrived. Donghyun laughed, shaking his head at the memory. Daehwi had been so offended for not being told of their relationship status. It was not just him; you and Donghyun had seen no need to actually share the information unless someone asked. Daehwi had simply never asked.

“Do you remember the only time you got angry, when that girl tried to ask for my number?” You huffed in disbelief at his words. There had been a girl the first week of university who had fallen head over heels for Donghyun. He has mentioned it in passing to you during a video chat, and you had immediately hung up, taking a bus to his campus and scowling at every other girl until it seemed evident that he was taken. He had found your jealousy endearing and adorable. The girl backed off fairly soon after your visits.

“Says you! I still remember you pulling me away from Hyunbin during high school,” you grumble around a mouthful of food, and he waved his fork in the air, rapidly chewing his food to reply.

“Because I couldn’t let another guy take my crush away! I can’t believe you didn’t know I liked you at the time.” You burst out laughing at this, but you also felt weary. It was only the first year of college– who knew how hard it would get as time went on? You had no doubt in his love or your own, but it pained you to see him push aside his time in the studio for you.

“I’ve loved you longer than you would ever know.” You said finally, and he crabbed your hand gently, giving it a squeeze.

“These feelings don’t fade easily.” He agreed, before putting his fork down. His plate was almost empty, but he looked tense. “____.” You look up, your eyes meeting his. You put your fork down, a pain in your chest as you already knew what was coming.

“I don’t like seeing you have to juggle time between me and school. I know how hard you work, and how much you want to do well to support your family.” He began, his eyes unable to meet yours. You flinched at the words. It was definitely not that the emotions that died. “I don’t like hearing from Sejeong that you can barely wake up for class because we went out and I was too insensitive to realize you had work.” You tried to protest, but his gaze silenced you. “I want you to do well, to do what you love.” A thick silence filled the room.

“We need time to focus on things outside of our love.” You said finally, and he looked pained at the words, despite the nod of his head. “You love me, and I love you. But you also love music. We aren’t at time where we can easily prioritize one for the other, but letting go of either seems a little risky.” He nodded again, a frown forming on his face. You wanted to hug him, to reassure him that it was not the end, but you could not find a way to do it.

“So what are we?” His question triggered memories of how you two had come to be, and you swallowed the lump that was suffocating you. How could the same question that brought you two together feel so wrong now?

“We are soulmates and we always will be. Remember that saying? If you love someone, let them go.”

“And if they come back, they’re forever yours. If they don’t they never were.” He finished. “This… it’s not a goodbye.” The waiter dropped off the check, which he grabbed before you could. You watched him, the tears in his eyes as he tried to mumble something about letting his lasting memory for you be as a gentleman, and your heart wrenched at the bitter laughter that came from him.

“Hey, Kim Donghyun.” He looked up. “If you keep waiting for me, then I’ll wait for you too.”

“And you just never talked since then? What the hell are you doing?” Youngmin burst out. You hold back a woeful smile, hoping your face did not look as miserable as you felt.

“It’s hard to. We stopped talking since that day. It isn’t hard to miss each other in a big place like Seoul.” Youngmin shook his head in disbelief, downing another shot. You followed his movement, a sigh forming from your lips.

“I miss you, Kim Donghyun.” You say, the words slightly slurring. Daehwi offered you a french fry, a sympathetic look shining from his eyes.

“___, it’s running late. Maybe you should go home if you’re getting a little drunk,” Woojin suggested quietly, and you nodded. Donghyun wouldn’t come, and you would scrape by another day. Yes, you were finally a lawyer. And yes, you made a story, something that relayed your own tale. But there was still and empty Donghyun shaped hole in your life, one that you had blockaded other males from attempting to fill.

“Do you need help?” Daehwi offered, standing up. You shook your head, motioning for him to sit back down.

“Enjoy yourselfs. I’ll grab a taxi. My apartment isn’t far anyways.” You got up, trying to pay for the orders, but Youngmin stopped you with a stern look.

“___, I’m the oldest here. Just get home safely.” You nod, accepting his kindness with a smile and leaving. You wrap your cardigan around yourself a little tighter, trying to ignore the breeze. It was almost fall, and Seoul was undoubtedly getting chillier earlier this year. For the first time in a while, you let yourself think about Kim Donghyun.

You missed him. You had written a journal with all of the words you wanted to say, explaining how your day was. You had taken polaroids by yourself, updates on your hairstyles and foods that you knew he would love. Every time you had crab stew, you would write your thoughts on how the restaurant had brought the flavors to life, or failed to, because you knew he would care and agree with you. You had cried into your pillow too many times, worn that threadbare hoodie he had left behind at your house in your last year of high school almost every day, and had stored all of the little love letters and music compositions he had gifted you in a box, stowed away in the corner of your closet. You had taken down all the photos of you two in your room, knowing it would be painful, but still peeked at them, admiring his youthful and bright smile. His smile. How much you missed it.

Perhaps it was the darkness and the alcohol, or the sullen energy draining depression that occurred as you thought more and more of him, but you could not even manage a look of surprise when you stumbled. You sighed, unable to force yourself to get up. Now, at age 25. A successful lawyer in a medium sized firm, a writer who was getting growing recognition, and utterly single. You had turned down too many possible relationships, many with good people too, for Donghyun. Donghyun, your childhood neighbor. Donghyun, your best friend. Donghyun, your first love, high school sweetheart, and soulmate.

“Excuse me, miss.” You flinch at the voice. It echoed within you, shaking your mind and playing with your emotions. It couldn’t be… “Are you okay?” You keep your gaze downwards, your hair framing your face and hiding it from view.

“I- I’m fine, thank you.” You wince at how it came out with a small sob, and you could hear him kneel down before you. You duck your head down even more, panic rising in your chest.

“Why are you crying, if you don’t mind me asking?” His scent wafted around you, and it tugged on your stomach violently. You remembered the afternoons where you could wait for him, falling asleep in his bed while he would run errands for his parents. It was the same scent.

“I’m… it’s just hard on me right now.” You stutter. A hand gently brushes your hair away, and he catches your gaze. Donghyun’s eyes are glittering under the dim streetlights, still loving and warm as always.

“___, it’s okay. I’m here now.” You burst into tears, the years of pent up emotions overflowing. Joy, confusion, bitterness, and love overwhelmed you as he pulled you into an embrace that you missed far too much, his hand stroking your hair gently as you tried to not wail into his shoulder.

“Donghyun.” You managed to cough up. He laughed a little, his gaze still fond as he pulled back to see your tear streaked and blotchy face. You were mortified that this was how he would see you for the first time in half a decade. His own eyes were watering, and they flitted over your face repeatedly, drawing in all the tiniest of details. The same eyes that you were looking for at your college graduation, but had to accept the disappointment of not seeing. The same eyes that you also had sought at your law school graduation, but had missed. And now here they were, on you.

“Hmm? You’ve grown so beautiful and strong. I’m proud of you.” He helped you up, is arms still embraced around you. You hiccup pathetically at his words. You had craved his approval more than anyone else’s. Your parents’ approval, nor Sejeong’s, could satiate the emptiness in you.

“How are you?” You burst out, and he chuckled, playing with your hair the way he used to when you were younger. He hummed in thought, as if to dissect what he should fill you in on. A pang of sadness hit you when you realized you truly hadn’t an idea of what he was up to.

“Well, I graduated with honors in composition and music theory. I went on to working and submitting my work for more recognition. I built a foundation for myself, got my own studio and workplace near the Han River. Do you know that song that Wanna One is singing for their reunion? I wrote that.” He said proudly, and a burst of pure happiness exploded in you. He made it. Kim Donghyun, the kid who would baby you since you were children, had finally accomplished his dream. Your separation paid off. The thought made you pale, and you felt fear grip you as you stiffened. He gave you a worried look.

“Are you okay?” His voice was gentle and urgent, his hands gripped tightly on your shoulders to keep you from moving. You lowered your gaze, clearing your throat awkwardly.

“Is there… another girl?” Your voice came out a little too sharp, something close to a trill. He was silent for a moment, and you could not bring yourself to glance at him. Panic began to bubble, and he finally pulled you in for a warm hug. You felt conflicted. Was this a goodbye? Was he actually going to reveal he was in a serious relationship? Was he-

“Dummy, do you think I would leave you?” His voice was tired, but there was love laced into every syllable. Comfort filled you immediately. “___, you’re my soulmate and the love of my life. Don’t count on it for a second that I would ever forget you.”


I’m clearing out my ask box, so here’s a rapid fire bunch of answers to the 43 questions in there! A lot of these I wanted to draw a comic or do a little animation for but just never got the time or energy, and others I didn’t know what to say, but I think that some response is better than no response, so while these are all going to be either text or doodles, I wanted them all to actually get answers.

Below the cut because this’ll be a hella long one~ Plenty of Zelda doodles in there though so if you just wanna see doofy drawings click too!

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Afraid and Happy -- 5 times Ronan came out to the Gangsey, and 1 time Adam did.

hello!! i have been writing this fic for ao3 for the past few weeks now, and it is finally done!! i posted a teaser of it a little while ago and it did well on here, so i supposed i would upload the rest of it? fair warning: this is about 10k words, but it’s worth the read! if you prefer to read it on ao3 it is here

Part 1—Ronan had always known he was gay. He may not have known it in words, but the thought was always there, pressing somewhere in the back of his mind, waiting until Ronan was ready to fully reveal itself. When he did put words to the music playing dully in the back of his mind, he kept it to himself.  Ronan told himself that he wasn’t embarrassed, or ashamed. He pretended that he was just waiting for a better time to make himself known, if there ever was such a time. Ronan thought that maybe his life would always be too full of dead fathers and night terrors to have room for such nonsense ideas as sexualities. Whatever excuses he came up with for hiding himself, it was all the same: he was afraid.

Those were the thoughts that clouded Ronan’s mind as he sat at a Nino’s booth with Noah, Gansey, and Adam on a Wednesday evening. The three of them were all talking of a homecoming dance, Ronan excluded.

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