ashamed of society

Dear Parents

Hi. How ya doing? Being a parent is weird and hard and rewarding, right? That’s been my experience anyhow. Most of us are trying to do the best we can. There’s a lot expected of us. There’s a lot of pressure in raising a tiny human without fucking up. And I hate to add to your growing list of duties and concerns and necessary steps in raising a happy, healthy person but there’s something really important you need to do.

Teach your children what abuse looks like.

Now, the hardest part about doing that is actually going to be learning yourself what abuse looks like.

“I know what abuse is!” you say.

Sorry. You probably don’t. Statistically speaking, I’m more likely addressing somebody on the other side of the screen that hasn’t been properly educated on the realities of abuse. We’re fed a lot of myths about abuse. You don’t have to be ashamed because society failed to teach you right. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to correct that error now.

I would suggest you sit down with a copy of Why Does He Do That? (my favorite book so far on the topic written by one of the world’s foremost experts). I know, I know. You’re busy. You’re stretched thin. You probably already lack time to read for pleasure as much as you did before you have kids and now some rando on the internet is assigning you fucking homework? But trust me, it’s worth it.

After that, teach your kids. Teach them what abuse looks like. Teach your sons especially what constitutes abuse and that there is no excuse to justify it and that they alone are responsible for their actions.


There’s lots of ways (and a lot depends on their age). But here’s a list of suggestions:

  • Don’t ever force your children to hug or kiss someone if they don’t want to, not even Grandma, not even YOU. This teaches them bodily autonomy and that not even loved ones are entitled to violate their boundaries.
  • Make comments or ask questions about media you consume together to get them to think critically about the ideas presented to them. This might mean saying “hmmm, I wonder why there are so few girls in this movie.” or asking “How do you think [character a] felt when [character b] wouldn’t take no for an answer?” This can be a hard step because you’ll need to train yourself to spot problematic content in the first place. And I’m not saying you can’t watch anything problematic (you might as well give up TV altogether). Just challenge your kids to think about what they see. i.e. If you’re watching Batman the Animated Series you could say “I really don’t like the way Joker treats Harley Quinn. Do you think she deserves that?”
  • Acquire (whether by purchasing or borrowing from a library) positive representation of women and relationships for your children including (and perhaps especially) your sons. The publishing and media industries only market girl-centric stories to female audiences which contributes to boys growing up learning that stories and the world revolve around them. They also tend to only push media that deals with interpersonal relations and emotions on girls, leaving boys with action and violence heavy stories. This can send the message that empathy and emotional labor is for girls.
  • Talk to them, especially older kids and teenagers, particularly when they reach dating age. Invite them to ask questions and talk about their opinions about abuse to get them engaged in the conversation rather than simply lecturing. Take advantage of a captive audience (riding in the car for example) and teach them little bits here and there on a regular basis.
  • Respect your children and allow them reasonable control over their own lives. I’m not saying you should let your kid decide, “nah, I hate shots. I’m skipping my vaccinations.” But you should definitely give them the power of choice as often as you can. Maybe that means letting them dropping soccer for theatre or picking between two options for dinner’s side veggie. The important thing is they are raised in an environment that doesn’t predispose them to accepting total control from someone else.
  • Model healthy relationship dynamics in your own romantic relationship if you have one. This is especially important for dads. Even if you’re not abusive, you may engage in behavior that is based on the same underlying attitudes and entitlement that fuels abuse because society has taught you that it’s all right. It’s on YOU and you alone to recognize and fix that. 
  • Set hard and fast rules in your home regarding respect of women. Don’t allow your kids, especially your sons, to use misogynist language (shut down anything that labels women as inherently crazy or inferior, don’t condone the use of words like bitch or cunt, etc.). And no matter how awkward you feel, make sure you talk to them about the unrealistic and misogynist aspects of most pornography (when age appropriate).
  • Learn and utilize appropriate parenting tools especially regarding punishment vs. consequence, assertive vs. authoritarian parenting, and similar issues to avoid falling into abusive parenting patterns. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Siblings Without Rivalry, Unconditional Parenting, and many other wonderful books will help you raise emotionally healthy kids with strong self esteem. Remember, there is no shame in seeking education to learn to how parent. It’s a skill like any other and nobody is born knowing how to do it right. But the old joke about wishing there was a parenting manual handed out when you have a baby? It’s only half true. There’s plenty of quality manuals (and unfortunately some shit ones too, so watch out). But you have to go get them yourself.
  • Insist the men and boys in your household participate equally in housework. To do otherwise reinforces the idea that men are entitled to have women take care of even their most basics needs (like a clean home or clean laundry or food to eat). Teaching your daughters to do an oil change and use a power drill is wonderful and great and you should do that too. But it’s arguably even more important to make sure you teach your sons not only how to clean, cook, manage a budget, do the grocery shopping, care for babies, etc. but that is expected of them just as much as it is of any woman.
  • Insist upon comprehensive sex ed programs that cover topics of consent, bodily autonomy, respect, and partner abuse. If your local schools don’t provide them, check for community offerings (the O.W.L. program offered at many Unitarian Churches is one such program and don’t worry, it’s secular). If there’s nothing available, take it into your own hands. Talk to your kids about this stuff and provide them appropriate books and resources on the topic.

Do your best. You won’t be perfect. No parent ever is. But if you try and if you never give up, you’ll more than likely succeed in raising kids that not only aren’t abusive, but that will not be drawn into an abusive relationship.

That said…

If you have teen or adult children you may very well face a situation in which they have either been abused, or accused of abusing someone else. What do you do then? Well, that first book I mentioned (Why Does He Do That?) lays out in detail exactly what family members should and shouldn’t do in these situations. But I’ll give you a quick and dirty summary:

If your child is facing abuse:

  • Believe them. And don’t blame them.
  • Don’t pressure them. Don’t pressure them to give their abuser another chance NOR should you pressure them to leave their abuser.
  • Listen to their needs and offer your support.
  • Give them the respect that their abuser won’t.
  • Get yourself support so that you can vent your sorrows and concerns to somebody else instead of burdening the abuse victim with comforting you.
  • When possible, and only if the victim agrees, offer practical support (such as paying for her to go to therapy, driving her to appointments, etc.).

If you child has been accused of abuse:

  • Believe the victim. Chances are they are telling the truth. When your child makes excuses for their behavior or tries to downplay it, press them on it for details and to describe what they think is their partner’s point of view on the matter. This will often reveal that they are exaggerating and/or lying and that they have not been honestly listening to or empathizing with their partner. Then make sure to talk to the victim and get her side of the story.
  • Do not make excuses for your child. Do not ask the victim to forgive them or give them another chance. Make it clear to your child that you will not participate in talk in which their victim is blamed or dehumanized or otherwise insulted.
  • Make it clear that you expect your child to get into a reputable abuser program (Lundy Bancroft describes what to look for to make sure it’s a good program in his book). Do not tell them to go to therapy or couple’s therapy. Only a program designed to address abuse will do any good and even then, only if the abuser chooses to do the long, hard work of changing. Conventional therapy can often make the situation even worse.

And in either case, avoid provoking the abuser. Chances are the abuser will take it out on their victim in private rather than risk damage to their reputation with you by lashing out at you.

Why Samurai Jack is important to me as an Japanese American

When I was a child it was hard growing up and it still is, Samurai Jack was one of the only forms of media that showed an Asian person besides Mulan. It was so cool to see a heroic Asian character that was selfless and put the needs of others above his own, I wanted to be like him.

But even though he was kind and compassionate he was tough and could fight and I admired that, I wish there are more characters like Jack. I was honestly so excited when I heard there would be an end to this amazing character’s adventure.

Samurai Jack taught me to be proud of my culture and not to be ashamed of it like society has taught me to be, I embrace my culture with pride now Samurai Jack has honestly changed my life in many ways.

Even though there are more Asian characters in the mainstream media now I like to think Jack will always be my favorite and I look forward to the rest of season 5

Originally posted by myfavoritecartoons


I love these pictures that use a little humor to describe the pure reality of how mental illnesses are viewed…. It’s so sad that people are so judge mental on topics or feelings that they’ve never experienced. And as much as I wish they could experience it just for a day or two to understand the depth of the emotions… I would never wish depression, anxiety, stress, adhd on my worst enemy. No one should have to feel this way and then feel ashamed or embarrassed by society….. Being on SSRI’s have saved me. I struggle with mental illnesses, I am on medication to help me, and I am proud. End the stigma.

anonymous asked:

How did you find out what you like in terms of kinks and stuff? If it's too personal feel free not to answer

My method might not be the #OfficiallyRecommended way to do this buuuut it’s worked REAL WELL for me soooo:

Step One: Get overly invested in a fandom/a fanfic writer. From hence forth, spend WAY too much free time reading everything you can get your eyeballs on that comes from this Glorious Source. 

Step Two: Run out of ‘vanilla’ or ‘gen’ fics and start scraping the bottom of the barrel, so to speak, reading everything from tags you normally would run screaming from, to stuff from fandoms you don’t even KNOW, you just want more of The Good Shit.

Step Three: Through this method of unintentionally exploring a wide variety of content, be it kinks, tropes, or sexual explorations, start learning what makes you feel a way you enjoy feeling. Some things may give you a tight, tingly kinda sensation in your fancy bits. This is probably you being aroused. Or you’ve got a genital infection. Please act accordingly, either by exploring the idea of this kink further, or by seeing your local medical practitioner/wiping from front to back from now on.

Step four: If you have someone appropriate, ask if you can explore this kink IRL w/ them, or do so on your own in a SAFE, EDUCATED manner (if it involves violence/ropes/choking etc, please please please read up on proper method, technique, and potential serious health risks first). If they’re not sure if they’ll enjoy it, offer to do a trade - you’ll try out something they think they’d enjoy, and vise versa (Note: Within the limit of what you both actually feel safe and comfortable doing. Albeit, if you want to try nudging your own boundaries in a careful, mindful manner, GO FOR IT. You may surprise everyone, including yourself). 

Step five: Either find you LOVE the thing IRL, need to explore it further to decide, or hate it vehemently. All reactions are valid. You may love something in fic, but hate it in real life. You may LOVE something IRL, but find it dull af in fic. 

Step six: Be open to trying new things. Pay attention to your feelings and respect them. Do what makes you comfortable and happy. Push boundaries if you find doing so yields something healing and fun for you. Don’t be afraid to take a few steps back if you need to. Take breaks. Go all in. Do whatever you need to do to feel like KINK and all of that shit is a positive experience for you, and not a chore/trauma/pressure. 

Bonus Step: Know that you probably WILL feel pressure, even if you’re cautious and caring and sensitive ETC. Know that the first time will probably be clumsy and not THAT great for anything, be it kink or things going in things etc. Maybe try things a couple of times. Communicate with whoever else is involved, and with yourself afterwards about what worked, what didn’t, and the reasons behind that. It’s totally normally to be scared, worried, or ashamed. Society has conditioned us to feel this way about sex. Just be mindful that nothing about these things IS shameful. If it doesn’t hurt others who are not fully consenting, it’s actually probably pretty radical. 

I COULD go on a rant about how the reason sex is shamed by large scale media and groups in power is because sexual liberation/openess is directly linked to the empowerment of the masses and social liberty, but I try not to get all SJW on the internet because dear god that’s just ASKING for anon hate. Plus I don’t know all the answers. I just live here. 


So, self-harm has a pretty shameful spotlight in general society, and perhaps because of that it seems difficult to find many first-hand accounts on the details of how it works. That said, I’ve come across a few stories that go about the topic… Somewhat crudely? So if it helps, here’s a little breakdown.
Keep in mind that it’s different for everybody, so this isn’t intended to be Holy Law From On High, just a handy reference for any writers who aren’t familiar with SH looking to go about touching this subject.

General warnings for blood, self-harm, descriptions of violence, etc.

1. BLOOD: Lots of scene imagery after a self-harm episode tends to focus on, “oh god, blood everywhere!” But the thing is, it’s really difficult to get a significant amount of body juice out, (depending on the method), and it’s not incredibly common for a self-harm problem to get that extreme. Usually, if there’s an alarming quantity o’ people ketchup present, than (MORE LIKELY) either
1. The person involved was under an unusually high amount of stress and didn’t mean to go that hard, and it was accidental and they may be freaking out a little themselves;
2. Blood is the catharsis, not pain, in which case it *might* be produced from multiple small wounds as opposed to one big one,
3. O shit they didn’t know there was an artery there, and
4. They might have pulled off a scab from an earlier wound- when this happens, the scab comes off with an amount of healing skin and tissue, creating a wound deeper than the original. Sometimes this bleeds more than the original damage, too,
5. If the damage involves water or saliva, it can look like there’s a lot more blood than there actually is.
(This all being said, I have no personal experience with wounds located on forearms, and as such I’m personally uncertain how much blood is normal and expected.)

2. MOTIVE: I see a lot of stuff about knives and razors. Which, yeah, fair, but people can get damned creative when they’re desperate. (See #3). That being said, not all self-harm involves cutting, or even breaking skin- self-harm is a coping mechanism where the individual needs to focus on something to either heighten or numb mental stimulus- the urge could be to do something meditative and methodical to distract from unmanageable thoughts and emotions, (or the absence thereof), or it could stem from a sense that they deserve punishment for a misdeed or failure. With punishment, the focus is likely to be on pain, both mental and physical. The end goal is relief from guilt, failure, and depression. With overload or numbness, the urge could simply be to see blood or get that rush of adrenaline that makes everything more manageable. Even aftercare can be soothing to someone who practices self-harm: the act of cleaning and treating and bandaging a damaged area can feel like self-care, like fixing something internally that can’t otherwise be controlled. Even the act of self-harm itself can be an act of seizing control, of defying a sense of helplessness, of finally being able to change something. Again, everyone who SHs is different, but very common motives are shame, guilt, and helplessness.

Triggers for episodes can include for each:

SHAME: Shame is public by nature. Shame is guilt that is revealed to an audience, and as such it is triggered by social conflict. For example, an authority figure telling you you did something wrong, a parental figure expressing disappointment, a teacher calling you out on missing homework or skipping a deadline. Even a peer or peers saying something perceived as hurtful, like, ‘your joke wasn’t funny’. Non-verbal shame can come from botching a public presentation in front of a crowd, or forgetting something in a group task. Shame can result in numbness, overstimulation, or a need for retribution that is coped with using unpredictable forms of SH that are often kept hidden out of fear of further shame.

GUILT: Guilt is private. Where shame is a socially motivated emotion, guilt is personally motivated. A good majority of human beings have a personal set of morals and ethics we adhere to: “Don’t lie” could be one. Or, “Elderly persons deserve priority seating on the subway”. A personal rule is something you believe is right, that you do your best to adhere to.
Guilt happens when you are unable or unwilling to follow your own rules. Guilt comes from giving in to the temptation to do that 'wrong’ thing, or from being physically unable to do the 'right’ thing. Guilt is a roundabout plethora of 'I could have done this’, 'but I didn’t’, 'therefore I am a bad person’, 'but it’s okay because of this’, 'except making excuses is also against my personal rules’, 'now I’m a worse person’, 'I don’t deserve to feel good’, and again, it’s different for everybody, but this can also spiral into self-destructive behaviour.

HELPLESSNESS: This one in particular is incredibly common among people who have experienced abuse. People who have been restricted from making personal choices, people who are forced into looking a certain way, who are in difficult situations that seem impossible to change. These things are overwhelming and numbing and smothering, and self-harm can be a way of feeling like you have control. 'I can’t overcome this situation, but I can overcome pain’. 'I’m not weak because I can handle this’. 'I can’t cut my hair or change my appearance but I can change my skin’. Even having a lasting mark or bruise can be a reminder that 'there are things I can control’.

3. TOOLS: As mentioned in point 2, it’s not always knives and razors. Those are the best-known, sure, but not all self-harm is cutting. It’s true that once someone who self-harms becomes comfortable with a particular method or instrument, they often tend to stick to the familiar routine- either because the ritual itself is calming, or because they’ve become familiar with their personal limits, or for purely hygienic reasons. Many who practice SH make sure to sterilize puncture tools with soap, a lighter, antiseptic, etc. in order to avoid infection.
Self-harm, in addition to cutting, can also manifest as:
-Punctures or insertion, as with pins,
-Abrasion, with pumice stone or sandpaper,
-Scalding with too-hot water,
-Burning with cigarettes or lighters, matches, candles, etc.
-Elastic bands- repetitive snapping can cause bruises and flashes of pain,
-Bruising with fists or blunt objects
-Kicking or punching hard objects
-Interfering with wound healing- peeling scabs, poking, deepening bruises
-Consuming substances that cause physical pain and discomfort
-Freezing- sticking hands in ice or frigid water
-Banging head or arms against solid objects, walls, furniture
-Hitting and slapping

Self-harm is dangerous, but it’s normal. It is a coping mechanism that people use when they see no other options. It can be addictive. It can slowly escalate. It can end tragically, but in most cases death is not the goal. Coping mechanisms are used be people trying to live.

People who self-harm are often secretive or ashamed. Our society is not kind to things it doesn’t understand, and it’s difficult to open dialogue when you know what people are thinking. 'Emo’, 'attention whore’, 'psycho’. That shit doesn’t help. And frankly? It’s not your tragedy porn. Try to be understanding. Try to keep an open mind. Don’t try it yourself, because trust me, there’s nothing beautiful or romantic about it and it’s a long dark rabbit hole, but try and respect it as something that real people live with.

anonymous asked:

Can you write something where a girl is 17 and never been kissed and probably won't be for a while and is extremely ashamed and frustrated by it?

omg honey there’s NOTHING to be ashamed of. society is so hypersexual and girls are so sexaulized and it puts this idea in everyone’s heads that we need to have our first kiss by a certain age, that we need to lose our virginity by a certain age, and anyone who hasn’t done that is “weird” but there’s nothing wrong with you for not having been kissed. life and romance aren’t a race and you do you at your own pace :)

I’m not often all that opinionated through social media but wanted to share some thoughts with anyone who would like to read on. (This is a personal story and opinion, which means that I accept and respect that people may feel differently than I do.) When I was in the 6th grade I was suspended from my public school for a dress code violation. I was on the honor roll + maintained a 4.0 GPA. I was not a disruptive student but found myself being shamed and embarrassed by adults. I had worn a turtleneck sweater with long sleeves but cutouts revealing my shoulder blades. I was removed from class in front of all of my peers who whispered and laughed, I was forced to write “I will obey the dress code” over and over in the front office while being told that my indecency was appalling and “a distraction to other students”, and I was suspended. My education was interrupted to call attention to my body and my gender and to shame me for both. My mother told me I had done nothing wrong, but I cried, feeling ashamed nonetheless. Society had taught me to make other people comfortable, to be sexless, to be apologetic, and to be receptive of their criticism. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized I was allowing everyone around me to dictate how I felt about my body. We are at a time now where there is still fear/taboo and often times an intolerable reaction toward female sexuality and women taking ownership of their physical form. As adult women we are weighted by the social obligation to have a reason to explain ourselves if we feel entitled to our own bodies. We teach young girls who mature early to be mindful that the gaze of other people is now their responsibility. Society perpetuates the idea that women need to appease others with their physical form, when in actuality we should rally around the idea that females are reclaiming their bodies. We are more than our bodies, but we are also entitled to celebrate them if we choose. Your body is the post natural and beautiful thing you can own! The point of feminism is to support women in their freedom to choose, to be equal, to be without shame/guilt/self-doubt. To teach them that showing their own skin doesn’t make them less intelligent, less respected. Women can be all things, and that’s beautiful.

wreckingmotorcars  asked:

about the politics of weight gain: i've always been so into chubby girls but also super ashamed of that because society always told me it was weird and freaky to be into fat people, and so as a teenager when i had a best friend who was a chubby girl, i tried so hard not to freak her out by talking about how hot chubby girls are that i accidentally made her think i was super fatphobic and we had a long conversation that culminated in us making out a lot eventually. (1/x)

(2/x) that said, when i’m into fat guys (and i am into fat guys, whoo boy), it’s usually daddy types, very masc coded, but i think that actually has a lot to do with the types of wg fic that’s available and the types of gainers i’ve seen, because irl i definitely feel attraction to softer more femme looking guys. i do wish there was more well-written wg fic about women (peggy carter!! darcy!!!! natasha romanov for the love of god) just give me all the gorgeous confident fat girls


Don’t you hate that, the way that we end up tripping over ourselves with guilt about this kink, like it’s SOOO perverse, when really, if we lived in a normal, non-fat-phobic world, it wouldn’t be weird at all to say, “I think chubby people are sexy and I want to cook for my partner.” That’s not fucking weird at all – it’s so fucking VANILLA, really – except that we live in a time and place where fat is seen as this terrible moral failing. GOD, it just makes me so ANGRY. And, of course, women’s bodies are particularly susceptible to the social stigma of fatness – as a girl myself, I know just how ingrained it is in all of our minds that a woman’s body is supposed to be small. *incoherent rage*

But anyway, yes, I totally sympathize with your story about covering your tracks so well that your friend not only didn’t realize you had the fetish, but thought you actively didn’t like fat people. That has happened to me a few times – and I can’t tell you the number of times that people would say things to me like, “I bet you wish [insert partner’s name] would go running with you.” NO YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. I don’t wish that at all, because first of all we don’t have to have all the same hobbies just because we’re together BUT ALSO you just say that because you think I’d like them better if they weren’t fat and you’re so wrong I hope you fall off a bridge.

And finally: holy fucking SHIT, queer-lady-kink. I am such a fucking fan, and there’s never enough of it and it makes me sad. I’ve read like one Nat/Wanda fic where Wanda was chubby, and a couple of Teen Wolf kink fics with mutually chubby Allison and Lydia. And that’s basically it, which is a bummer.

anonymous asked:

Hey Dad, what's cellulite?

Cellulite is when fat under skin makes the skin kind of bumpy or dimpled, usually On thighs, hips, buttocks, and belly. It’s something no one should be ashamed of (even though society says otherwise) because no matter what they’re beautiful.

“When I was a young woman I had no self-confidence, but I just can’t be bothered to worry about what people think. Life is too short. For no money in the world would I want to be young again.”
Helena has no interest in conforming to the Hollywood ideal of super-slim actresses. Instead, she’s happy to embrace her looks.
“I like to eat, that’s why I have curves, and it’s also benefited my face,” she said.
“I think it’s sad that our lives are dictated by someone saying: ‘You can’t eat this or that if you want your body to conform to someone’s ideal.’ It means food becomes associated with guilt, but really it should be a source of pleasure.”


This is why we need and have Helena as a role model. Helena teaches us to be ourselves and embrace how we look without being ashamed. There’s no need for us to be ashamed, nobody should be ashamed. Society may tell us different, but Helena tells us right.

And this is why Helena inspires me.

Thursday post!

Aaaaaaaaand IT’S THURSDAY!!!!

So I was going through my dashboard and I saw this

And I was like “wow a lot of sisters can relate to me!”
So I thought why not talk about periods!


This is what happens to girls once a month, because we don’t get pregnant.
We get PUNISHED because we don’t get pregnant.
It’s not like I’m complaining I mean, because of that I can create life but couldn’t mother nature just send us a message? Like

“You’re not pregnant, hear you next month”

Every month one of our eggs die and we bleed constantly for seven days from our vaginas.
Now I’ll skip the biological details about this phenomenon, and I’ll explain to you what happens to us when it happens.

For me, but I think it’s the same for all of us, it begins one week before the actual bleeding.
My emotions get out of control. I switch from sad, mad happy, angry, hungry, horny faster than sonic.
I eat like a pig and then I feel sad and fat and I get angry at myself.
In other words

And when finally the day arrives, and I feel like Freddy Krueger is stubbing my ovaries, this ocean of emotions stops replaced by pain and blood.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that when girls wake up in the morning and they’ve got their period during the night it looks like a freaking murder scene in their panties

Not pretty.

And the struggle begins.
Having to carry tampons and pads around all day.
And if you, boy, are wondering what a pad is…. Well it’s pretty much a diaper. AND IT’S HELL UNCOMFORTABLE!
And you have to hide them, because bleeding from down there it’s something to be ashamed of.

Thank you society.

Plus you feel like this

And you just want to lay down and sleep for seven days.
But, let’s be real, laying down is not that easy because you can’t find a comfortable position!

Our hormones are all over the place, and we want to cuddle but don’t you dare to touch us or we’ll cut you.
I know we can be a little annoying but, I repeat, there’s blood constantly pouring out of us, so guys try to be a little more comprehensive! Because remember our period last one week…. there’s still the rest of the month

i see people saying ‘the fake country palestine’ as though recognition as a nation-state is the definitive measure of a peoples’ belonging to a place

just want to point out that nation-statehood did not exist until it was imposed on us for most of the world, and that this imposition involved the systematic extermination of indigenous peoples precisely because we were not “civilised” to the coloniser’s standard. 

demanding that the inhabitants of an area follow the same civilisational model as you or else they deserve to be driven from their land and forced into open-air concentration camps which are routinely carpet bombed is a racist, colonialist argument and you all should be fucking ashamed of yourselves. 

my ancestors’ society was tribal, with no central state authority, and that does not mean that our invasion, extermination, and military occupation was justified. nor does anything about the structure of Palestinian society justify the violence visited on them during the Nakba. 

“Being mutant isn’t anything to be ashamed of. The society full of the humans has trained us to be afraid of what and who we are. But, no more of that. No more hiding and wishing we could be normal; when the facts make it clear that we are the future. We are not weak, and I won’t let the society make me hate myself for not being normal. It’s time for us to rise my bothers and sisters, it’s time for us to be proud of who we are.”

Internalization and Oppression

Oppression doesn’t just consist of how other people treat you. It’s also about the way you think and act as a result of the ideas you have internalized from society. It means that you have been taught to view yourself as lesser, defective, or even deserving of the bad things that other people do to you. You are taught to identify with the people who hurt you, and to feel ashamed of people like yourself.

Society does not just oppress us; society teaches us that we deserve to be oppressed, and to oppress ourselves even in the absence of an outside force.

When I realized I was aromantic, I felt lost and sad. I was not happy to think of myself as aromantic. Why did I feel that way? Because society had taught me that people who can’t fall in love deserve to be pitied, and should be “fixed” by someone else’s love if possible. I had gone my entire life believing that I needed romantic love in order to be successful, fulfilled, and happy. I identified with romantic people, and I expected to eventually “meet the right person.”

The fact that I had never seen anyone say bad things about aromantic people did not matter. The fact that no one ever harassed or attacked me for being aromantic did not matter. What mattered was that I felt there was something wrong with me, and that my life was of lesser value, because I was aromantic. I felt this way because I grew up in a culture that is hostile to aromantic perspectives, ideas, and lifestyles.

Keep reading

Because there are entitled men who are afraid of change

Because there are men who shoot up gay clubs, Planned Parenthood clinics and elementary schools

Because we have a government that refuses to impose gun control laws

Because there are women who need to be afraid every time they leave the house

Because we teach girls not to get raped rather than teaching boys not to rape

Because there are women who will never be equal to their counterparts

Because being a man abused by a woman is something to be ashamed of in our society

Because the wage gap still exists

Because white officers get away after shooting people of colour all the time

Because in today’s society being gay or black is worse than being a rapist

Because there are thousands of people in Syria dying as you read this

Because all Muslims are considered terrorists

Because I can’t even begin to fit into one post all the things that are wrong with society today

Because I see humans but no humanity

Because we need to fucking be the change we want to see

“Being mutant isn’t anything to be ashamed of. The society full of the humans has trained us to be afraid of what and who we are. But, no more of that. No more hiding and wishing we could be normal; when the facts make it clear that we are the future. We are not weak, and I won’t let the society make me hate myself for not being normal. It’s time for us to rise my bothers and sisters, it’s time for us to be proud of who we are.”

My thoughts on this

Several people have asked me why I – if I were a mutant – would want to be apart of the Brotherhood of Mutants (Magneto’s side) rather than the X Men (Professor X’s side), and I think it really all comes down to what they stand for in principle.

DISCLAIMER: the thoughts following are entirely my own. I don’t claim to share the same thoughts as anyone else. I’m not writing this to change anyone’s thoughts, or views, or ideas. And as such, I’m not against the X Men at all. I love the movies, I love the characters, I love everything about them except for their principles. That’s it. No freaking out, everybody, okay? Okay.

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