oh! i forgot to post about this!! a few days ago my AO3 account hit (and then quickly passed) 1500 subscribers!!! THANK YOU SO DAMN MUCH!! I hope I continue to make whatever it is you’re hoping or expecting of me ♥
(I think new people are finding me through both Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies and Welcome All Winchesters right now, but I don’t know how or why. someone enlighten me?? whO SENT YOU) (only thing they have in common is asexual-spectrum Cas, if that narrows it down? but they’re very different ends of the spectrum so idk)
and since we’re on the subject, i have a new fic coming soon!! (well, an old one from 2014 that i resurrected, and i rewrote the second half). it’s currently 82k and “finished” but i’m trying to FINISH-finish it, which means 5 more scenes, editing, then betaing. the plan is to RELEASE IT INTO THE WORLD by the end of june. (it’s a commission for @cassammydean, and the plan is to launch my patreon right after that fic. hopefully.) it’s called What We Ache For.
one more thing, since i’m feeling sentimental – you guys. YOU GUYS. you leave the best comments?? THE BEST. nearly every single day you remind me how important the themes in my stories are, how much the inclusion of a simple concept can change something for someone who reads my fics.
making someone cry with a story used to be a gleeful experience for me, satisfying because i wrote something powerful. now, after years of helping people kind of… release their feelings? it’s powerful in a whole different way, i don’t know how to explain it. but it means so much to me, not only as a writer, but as a person. every day you make me desperate to be a kinder person, and devote myself not just to my stories, not just the characters, but you.
i know a little about a lot of you. but the small facts i do know are life-changing in the masses. no, this isn’t directly relevant to my subscriber count - it’s just something i think about every day, more so recently as my faith wanes in my newer writing, and i never found the right way to just say it. i get obsessed and upset about people not leaving as many kudos as they used to. but almost every day someone reminds me why i really do this, why i really love it. it’s the comments. not the kudos. it’s the secrets you tell me, the way whatever spilled from my heart can change your mind, and help you figure out things you never understood about yourself, and the tears you shed because you feel some part of yourself aching when you read a certain combination of words.
anyway, thank you. i just really, really love you all.
yes, you. ♥