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Burn With You (Continuation)

By: BreatheSemperMea

Summary: Callie and Arizona both excel in their professional lives as a firefighter and a paramedic, saving lives every day. But both souls struggle in their personal lives because of mistakes made in the past.

Sugarkane Review:

Quarter 1: (Chapters 5-6)

One of the first things that popped out to me about chapter five was the beginning description. There is tons of it, and most of it has to do with Malia. I think that was a very good choice by the author. One because Malia is an original character(OC), and her personality needs to be established in order for us to care about her. And two because it further develops the relationship between Callie and Malia and sets the stakes for upcoming angst (i suppose). One downfall of this description though is that it’s slightly generic. Everyone loves Malia, and always gives her what she wants. She’s so cute and innocent and adorable. They can’t help but let her stay up past her bedtime. That sort of thing. It’s not a bad dynamic; I said ‘aw’ while reading it, but it’s something I’ve said ‘aw’ at a lot in a lot of other stories too. What i’m saying is it would have been perhaps a little cooler to see very specific, unique things she does with the other characters. That being said, later on in the chapter, the author writes this description that I have to mention because it’s kinda perfect. She talks about how Malia always wears these Super Mario Cart pajamas that she’s growing out of, and it’s the most normal, simplistic, yet original look into the child’s personality. This is the kind of characterization I like to see.

That being said, Chapter 5 Malia started to shock me a little bit as the story carried on. Which leads me to my first ever segment of “Kids! They say the darndest things!”

Age-inappropriate Malia Lines:

“When we were at the mall, you were quiet, unusually quiet and you seemed lost deep in your thoughts”

  • This isn’t a terrible line by any means; it’s just a nine-year old would never say this unless it was pre-established that she’s an observant little weirdo which it hasn’t been so it’s inappropriate for her age. If Malia always talked like this though, i’d really like it. It’d be cool reading a socially inept, super genius child try to converse with her aunt in a normal way.

“I thought I saw Arizona at the firehouse yesterday. The woman near the door looked exactly like her. It made me think of her and how happy you were when she was with you. Mamá always said she made you smile the widest and Papá said that you’re gonna marry her one day, before you even thought about proposing”

  • Why would adults tell a child any of this? The answer is they wouldn’t, so I assume she overheard it. How does she know anything about Callie wanting to propose? Why would she remember something she overheard enough to regurgitate it in such a mature manner? 

Why didn’t you marry Arizona, tia Callie?“ 

  • A nine year-old would never say this out of the blue. A Calzona shipper would say this out of the blue. I’m beginning to think Malia is just the Calzona fandom but as a human child.

So anyways, the fifth chapter continues on to have Arizona kiss Callie and then Callie run off. I read my previous review to kind of jog my memory, but I still don’t understand why they don’t just get back together. They obviously still love each other, the chemistry is there, the opportunity is there. Oh wait, oh my god, is this paralleling the actual show??? Lol. I’m in pain. Anyways, the sixth chapter is pretty similar to this chapter except Callie has a conversation with Mark. Mark says the same thing I’m saying which is basically there’s not one good reason the two should be apart. Callie says some “my life is a mess and i’m not ready” type of thing and runs off again. And then she tries to talk to Arizona, but suddenly, Arizona is too hurt to talk. And back and forth.

Quarter 2: (Chapters 7-8)

Okay, coming out of chapter 7, I have to say this is where the story should probably resolve itself. The two characters who have absolutely no reason to be apart should come together and be a couple. Anything else that happens after this chapter, if it’s not fluff, doesn’t sit right with me. This is a pretty likable story; the writer has skill no doubt. I like Mark in this story; he’s written well. But the conflict should be over. If I go to chapter 8 and there is conflict, I’m telling you now. It better be conflict that is real. And by real, I mean there needs to be external or circumstantial things keeping them apart, not emotional turmoil because it doesn’t really seem founded in this story.

Okay, so coming out of chapter 8. There was a good conversation between Callie and Arizona. Not enough levity or humor though. I feel like i’m losing these characters in the drama, and I can’t really distinguish their personalities. Callie, as it turns out, had a lot of sex after Arizona left her which is very in character (flashbacks to the Africa incident). I liked that, I did. But part of me felt it was a ploy to keep the story going. Arizona walks off all hurt and is like “i just need time, okay,” and I don’t quite, quite understand it. It feels like she isn’t concerned enough about what Callie is going through. Who cares that after you dumped her, she fucked a lot of people. This woman who you know didn’t want to be a parent lost her sister in a tragic car crash and is now forced to raise a child. THAT’S HUGE. THAT’S GIGANTIC. Arizona don’t be so selfish.

Quarter 3-4: (Chapters 9-12)

I’m just gonna put these last quarters together because there’s really no reason for them to be separate. These four chapters resemble the first couple of chapters in that two are separate for no easily explicable reason. Callie gets trapped in a fire. And uh, long story short, she dies.

Loll she doesn’t die, but I got you for a second there, didn’t I. 

Anyways, she does get trapped in a fire, and surprise, surprise, the fire is at the same school Malia goes too. Arizona comforts Malia while Callie is being turned into barbecue pork, and it’s a good scene. I really wanted flashbacks to Arizona and Malia’s dynamic. Malia seems to really like Arizona (I assume because Arizona used to come over and braid her hair and they hit it off). I kinda wanted a flashback to that, but the flashbacks seem to be Calzona-oriented so, it would probably be weird.. Anyways, skip skip skip, Arizona takes Malia home from the ICU because Callie’s in the ICU, and i’m okay with this. Callie goes to heaven or the afterlife for a little bit and it’s basically Aria telling Callie she has to not die because Malia and Arizona are waiting for her. Apparently everyone in this story except Arizona and Callie are the ultimate Calzona shippers. Callie wakes up and somehow, someway, Arizona is going to be staying with Malia and Callie. That’s what I gathered. So this whole quirky storyline is gonna go on for a couple of more chapters probably, though the author is going on hiatus, so if you’re interested, there might be a longer wait time.

Outline:

  • Average Chapter Length: 3,615 words
  • Alternate Universe
  • Angsty
  • Original character
  • Unfinished
  • First Review

anonymous asked:

What are your fave poems/quotes?

!!!!! i have a Lot but here’s some I could think of right away:

“All gods who receive homage are cruel. All gods dispense suffering without reason. Otherwise they would not be worshipped. Through indiscriminate suffering men know fear and fear is the most divine emotion. It is the stones for altars and the beginning of wisdom. Half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. Real gods require blood.”   
-Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God  

“Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.

I couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.”
-Richard Siken, Crush       

“I am an old boudoir full of withered roses.”
—Charles Baudelaire, The Flowers of Evil

“The sea is a dangerous place because it makes you believe in forever.”
— Beth Revis, The Body Electric

“One day, whether you
are 14, 28, or 65
you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find––
is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.”
— Beau Taplin, The Awful Truth

“I have sea foam in my veins, I understand the language of waves.”
-Jean Cocteau, Le testament d’Orphée

“He is not the sun. You are.” -Christina Yang

“Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances.” -Maya Angelou

“Maybe the moon is beautiful only because it is far. لربما القمر ليس جميلا إلا لأنه بعيد ” -Mahmoud Darwish

“If you can’t be a poet, be the poem.” -David Carradine

“She was terrifying in her beauty, bright like a devouring star.” -Leigh Bardugo, Little Knife

“Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.” -Kait Rokowsk

“O fuck.” -Shakespeare, Hamlet

9

Anonymous: Can you please make gifs of Act 3 Alt Take from maybe around 51:36? It’s the only take of the end credit that they are walking in sync and I find it super cute. :) Oh and maybe the little kisses they did at end of each take? In the actual episode I think Elise did a “race you” and ran away and they didn’t actually kiss… but they did in all of these alt takes I think, especially the one at 57:49 with Natasha’ hand. :)

Anonymous: How about gifs of the drone kisses at the gates from the additional takes? They go from simply holding hands and running off to a slight peck to by take 4 or 5, Carmilla’s hand on Laura’s head as they share a lingering kiss. It’s the sweetest.

Bonus (extra take):