as you fall apart

5

5:16a.m.//

“It’s funny how life turns out, huh? You’d think devoting your life to someone you truly “loved” was enough for the universe to go: “Alright, you’re set for now. Have fun.” But then shit happens and you’re sat, literally, wondering what went wrong; what you must’ve done for everything to just, fall apart right in front of you.”

“And you know… I figured without me around to beat up on, you all were doomed to fall apart at the seams. I’m your hate glue.” 

The saddest thing about Grif thinking this, is that he’s right. He is the glue that keeps Red Team together. He knows when each of his teammates is going off the rails and pulls them back in, or plants suggestions for a better plan at just the right time. His self-preservation is team preservation, but when a single one of them goes off alone he’ll volunteer to go with them. 

Red Team loves Grif. They just need to show him that in a way his low self-esteem will accept. Because the familial teasing and put-downs aren’t working anymore. Hopefully some day they’ll demonstrate how much they care about him too, and he’ll believe it.

Awakened Heart

‘This kinship with the suffering of others, this inability to continue to regard it from afar, is the discovery of our soft spot, the discovery of bodhichitta. Bodhichitta is a Sanskrit word that means “noble or awakened heart.” It is said to be present in all beings. Just as butter is inherent in milk and oil is inherent is a sesame seed, this soft spot is inherent in you and me.‘

- Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart.

anonymous asked:

Spot Conlon as requested! He has dark hair leading down his stomach which is toned as fuck 👏the boy's got strong arms and he uses his strength to pin you down and make you squirm with pleasure. He's a fan of pressing you against walls, letting you feel the outline of his hard, thick cock through his pants and gently biting your neck and ear and whispering in his thick Brooklyn accent that you're his and he can't wait to make you fall apart -☄️

Wifey!! My gorgeous 🐙!!! It’s ya boi!!! ~🐳

Make You Mine Chapter 5

Gwenvid centric chapter. Around 1500, one of the shorter chapters I’ll admit. not edited so just watch out! I was too tired to bother reading it over but here she is.

David comes over to watch Bob Ross with Gwen in her hotel room.

Read previous chapters: Under the tag makeuminegwenvid


The knocking on the door spooked Gwen so much she dropped her phone of the side of the bed and scrambled to a sitting position. Sighing and forcing out a laugh she moved to stand filled with a different kind of anxiety. Resembling excitement, the anxiety ran deep and her eyes could not resist skimming to the mirror.

Her eyes regretted the decision soaking in her sweat pants clad frame and rejecting it instantly.

The door was swung open quicker than either of them expected it too bringing them to a conclusion neither was prepared for.

David stood dumb founded almost, arms full of snacks and the Bob Ross CD sticking out hazardously of his coat pocket. The pair seemed to dance around one another as he entered the hotel room as soon as she stepped aside. Their feet knew the dance but were clumsily hanging on to the routine as if they hadn’t practiced in years. Gwen’s hands helped unload the items from his arms and their movements were rehearsed but ultimately detached. Comfort was found in the familiarity as the motions calmed her.

Keep reading

Knowing I can’t give you everything you deserve is breaking me apart

WHY I LOVE U

Venus in Aries: I heard your laughter before I saw you. And then I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And after everyone had gone home we were still running around, or you were running I was just trying to keep up. You work hard, play hard and love even harder, but you like to try on a couple of sizes before you find the right fit. It’s the way you make me laugh at the most ludicrous things, the way you know exactly what you want and are not afraid to go and get it. You make me feel like anything is possible. Our love was like a tickle war turned makeout session, and I still remember the heat when our skin touched. There will never be anyone like you. 

Venus in Taurus: Being with you is like coming home. Like a perfect dream. Like lavender candles and cuddling up to a marathon of our favourite show. You kissing me between every episode. You don’t like playing games and you don’t like being rushed when falling in love. You take your sweet time, worshipping my body and my mind so my heart can’t help but follow. I remember those lazy Sundays, strolling through the furniture store, your hand in mine and we would pretend to decorate our future house. But all we came out with were more lavender candles and a burning lust for each other. You turn the mundane into something truly magical. 

Venus in Gemini: You drive me crazy, I never know where we stand. We spend the most incredible nights together and then I don’t hear from you in forever. Maybe that’s your style, you wanna look me in the eyes and not read my words on your phone. We sit for hours and people watch, making up backstories for them. When I’m with you I have no sense of time, all I can think about is your mischievous smile and the way you play with my hair. Your love is all-consuming, like nothing in the world matters to you more. With you my sense of reason is completely clouded, I’m yours for the night and every other night. If you’ll have me. 

Venus in Cancer: My hero, my sensitive babe. Your heart on your sleeve, that look in your eyes and I was yours forever. When you kissed me I could see our lives flashing before my eyes. Sitting on opposite sides of the sofa. Your nose in a book but your hand on me, like you needed to be connected to me or else you’d die. Every time you catch me staring at you I can’t help the grin on my face. You are fragile and strong, creating this protective space around us where we can just be together. I love how you’re not afraid of your feelings, and how you already named our kids even though we need to discuss it lol. You make it feel so real, like you are the missing piece of the puzzle. 

Venus in Leo: I remember the first time I met you, it all happened so fast. At a party, my friend introducing you and before I knew it your arms were around me. I remember melting into your hug, and the electricity in the air when we finally let go. Everyone else thought it was weird but we both knew, there was no turning back. Being with you feels like running through a field of flowers, faster and faster. Your laughter and your moans echo in my head. My legs feel like giving out but your hand refuses to let go of mine. It’s that smile after you say something clever, and they way you make me feel like it’s just me and you versus the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this loved. 

Venus in Virgo: You make me feel whole. Driving down the freeway blasting our songs, I can’t sing but you don’t care. Your hand on the stick shift and for some reason I got all hot inside. It’s the way you wrap your arms around me at the checkout line, like I’m yours and you don’t care who knows. You’re thoughtful and observant, you make me feel like I matter to you. And it’s not an act, you are actually that kind. I’m trying so hard to describe you, but all I can think about is that night when my family fell apart. You drew a bath with bubbles and you held me until the water went cold. Then we ate raspberries (my favourite) and watched Modern Family. And then you loved me until I didn’t feel like I was falling apart anymore. I think that describes you more than words ever could. You’re the one I see sitting next to me on our porch doing a crossword puzzle, in our old bodies. But it doesn’t scare me because your spirit is forever young. 

Venus in Libra: Being in love with you is so easy. Our first date was to the movies. You gave me a red poppy and held my hand the entire time, gently playing with my fingers. My heart was about to beat out of my chest but somehow I was calm, because you were. I love the way you talk so easy, with that breezy confidence. Like you’d never tell me a lie. The way you were charming and kind to everyone from the bus driver to the server at the pizza shop. After talking to each other all night in the park, it was the only place that was still open. My mum still asks about you. I think she loved you more than I did, and that’s saying something. 

Venus in Scorpio: God, the way you tear me apart and then put me back together. Over and over again. You of all people know that life isn’t always chocolates and roses. You’re not afraid of the ugliness of human nature, instead you try to find the silver lining, the beauty in the madness. You demand that I’m honest with you, and in turn you trust me with your own secrets. It created a bond beyond love, or maybe it was love. It just felt different, like it was based in reality and not a love story. You’ve seen me at my worst and still think I’m beautiful, because you see people’s souls. Nobody can hide their true nature from you for you are an expert of reading between the lines. Your animalistic passion penetrates deep, and everything becomes a haze of lust and obsession. Because if you’re not obsessed it’s just not worth it. I would trust you with my life, because you would sacrifice your own for the one you love. 

Venus in Sagittarius: We had just gotten comfortable on the top of the mountain we climbed when you hit me with “Do you think out of seven billion that some people have the same personality?” And you packed my favourite sandwich, tomato, mozzarella and basil. A moment of breathless kisses and triumph. Your strength made me feel strong too, and your devotion made my heart swell. You never stand still but it doesn’t matter, because you take me with you and always make sure I’m alright. You make me feel included, showing me off and introducing me to all your friends. I’ve never felt more proud than when I’m standing next to you. When you told me how much you loved me I knew it was true. 

Venus in Capricorn: The true romantic. What drew me in was that calm stare, you looked like trouble I swear I was gonna faint on the spot. You could keep up with me, and when you took my hand and said “Trust me?” I somehow believed you. But what made me fall for you was how you kept all your promises. Your presence is honest and true, the way you make me feel like I would never be alone, like I would always have a friend. I love falling asleep in your arms to your heartbeat. You’re gentle with me, I can feel your love in every touch. Your love made me believe I could do anything, because I knew you would stick by my side. If I asked you to. 

Venus in Aquarius: Keep it cool, that’s how you roll. Almost untouchable, but you let me touch you. It was like the seasons changed in seconds. You finished that last drop of champagne and said “Let’s get wet”, then we jumped in the pool. And then you kissed me. It felt like breathing underwater, I don’t even think you live in the same world as the rest of us. I texted you at 2 a.m. and you didn’t hesitate. Trapped between your body and the wall, your lips on my neck and I was already in heaven. I never thought you loved me back, until you showed up on my doorstep, whiskey on your breath and tears in your eyes. After that I never doubted you, because I knew then that your love was more than words. 

Venus in Pisces: With you it’s all about the moment, and moments with you are plush and whimsical. Like sitting on a cloud. You are still the only person to ever write me a poem. And when you asked me if I liked it, how you let me see your vulnerable side even though the look in your eyes was sheer terror, you were brave. I was at loss for words so I just kissed you deeply. You see the beauty in the little things, like asking me about what I dreamt last night or giving me cupid earrings so they could whisper sweet nothings in my ear when you’re not around. Your love is poetic, you actually think of me and what makes me happy. Whenever you see something that reminds you of me you always let me know. I can’t help but think how lucky I am to be so cherished.

Why You Will Never Forget The Signs:

(And why you shouldn’t).


Aries: With them everything was easy. They had a strong, impulsive personality; one that made them look as someone who wasn’t afraid of anyone nor anything. They were honest and caring, and above all, they were always by your side no matter what. It’s normal to never forget an Aries… they were too special.

Taurus: They were too attentive. They didn’t give you everything at every hour, but when you least expected they appeared with that thing you were waiting for during weeks. Even when they were sad, they made you smile. And yes, you miss them.

Gemini: Every time you took a look on Gemini, you had one thing clear: they were one of the most expressive people you knew. They texted you just to know if you were doing ok, if you had arrived your home safe and to tell you that they missed you. They seemed to know exactly how you felt. They cared too much about you, and they weren’t even afraid to show it. You should call them.

Cancer: They were kind of complicated, especially with those mood swings… But when you discovered that they just needed love, you realized how amazing they were. They were the one who waited for you in the night, the one who texted you a million times just to tell you they were thinking about you, the one who looked for you everywhere because they wanted a hug. Maybe you don’t remember exactly when they left, but you do remember all the times they made you feel complete.

Leo: They’re just too hard to forget. Leo spent time with you, Leo made you feel soft, warm, loved. Leo was magic. Leo was the Sun, because when they left, it suddenly felt cold and dark. Everything changed. You told yourself you’re doing okay, but it’s not true. You can’t forget them because your life it’s not the same without them.

Virgo: You tried to find somebody like them, but you didn’t success. Virgo could listen to you talking about the same topic for hours and hours, and they wouldn’t complain. They didn’t tell you ‘i love you’, but they made you feel loved. Virgo was different, and, at the same time, Virgo was just like you.

Libra: They weren’t afraid to tell you how they felt and that they’d missed you, even when it wasn’t convenient for them. Libra believed in love, friendship, and everything pure in this world. And you admired them for that. It’s okay if you can’t forget them; nobody could.

Scorpio: They gave everything for you. They were there for you when nobody else was, they held you when you were falling apart, they told you not what you wanted to hear – but the truth, and now you realize that that’s what you really needed back then. They supported you, and now that they’re gone you feel as if they had left a hole in you. Well, … maybe you should speak to them again.

Sagittarius: You will never forget the excitement you felt when talking to them on the phone in the late, late night. Their laugh, their jokes, their stories. You will never forget them because they made you feel. You miss their energy and how they smiled when they spoke.

Capricorn: They had strength, they had bravery, they had character. Beside them, you learnt how to be mature, how to be a better person; to understand life. Perhaps it’s true that you didn’t miss them at first, but now they’re the only thing you can think about. Stop waiting for a sign. Call them.

Aquarius: It is quite complicated to forget someone who always tries to make everyone happy, someone who made you feel free and gave you all their love and trust, and that, my friend, is your case. You felt safe and sound next to them, and you learnt how to enjoy the littlest things in life.

Pisces: You will remember their generosity, their kindness, their patience towards others. Pisces was too special for you, because you always had that strange feeling of freshness with them. Probably they were your favorite person in the world. Maybe you won’t forget them in the near future, and maybe you shouldn’t try to.

I am going to break, some time soon, im not sure when but I do know that my mind is almost saturated in all the shit, when I do I really hope you realise what you have fucking done to me, I hope you finally realise that what you do has consequences